(For those who cannot do without either one)

…is a game of tactics, clever manoeuvres and counter offense well worthy to make the heads spin of the likes of Na’Vi, SK Gaming and ESC Gaming. People try to cover up a variety of actions – Smoking, from the parents; double-timing, from the girlfriend; Facebook Photo albums and videos, from the potential employers; surfing adult sites from the family computer; etc etc.

I, have to conceal playing Counter-Strike from my girlfriend. And I’m not the only one. The most common reason for someone to be AFK on LAN or Internet is – colloquially speaking “B***C*** gf ka phone agaya”; formally speaking “my darling called”.
MAKE NO MISTAKE – Our girlfriends are not fiends. As I mentioned before, we cannot be without them. They are smart and capable and we are head over boots for them. But just as water and oil don’t mix, Indian women and CS don’t mix.

A girl’s perspective on the casual 1hr. a day CS player – "He’s a call away."

A girl’s perspective on the 4-10 hr. a day CS player - "Oh my God, he’s having an affair with that f**king game. If he has free time then he is supposed to be spending it with me and giving me well deserved attention. Me, as a priority, should be way ahead than that game."

My Ist reaction to this situation
Avoid the issue (which of course didn’t work and never will for anyone out there)
IInd reaction
Teach her CS. Description in one word – Anguish. To any sane person the point of playing the same ‘stage’ with the same looking players with the same guns, seem as absolute signs of mental stagnation. The glory of an ace, the excitement of a clutch, the frustration of being knifed in the face by a lesser equipped opponent; were all beyond her.
So I gave up. Which brings me to the all important IIIrd and final reaction – Tactical Manoeuvres (read: excuses).

Tactical Manoeuvres for guys:
USE THESE
1. The ‘friend’ manoeuvre – E.g. “XYZ had a break up so we need some guy time to sort it out.”
(Use occasionally because regular usage will result in doubts being raised over the nature of the guy-time.)
“Working on an assignment/home-work at XYZ’s place.”
(Use occasionally)
Etc.
2. The ‘family’ manoeuvre – Use your family as leverage to invent colourful excuses. Contrary to popular belief, girls too avoid mingling with families
(Use 3 times a week)
3. The ‘dead serious’ manoeuvre – Imagine yourself as serious as this dude bit.ly/zBYOIo and in a calm dark voice say – “I’m busy and I’ll call you in sometime.” 9/10 times your better half will await your call patiently. Think of another excuse by then.
(Use occasionally. Does not work if your teammates are screaming in the background)
4. The ‘fit’ manoeuvre – “I’m working out at the gym. After which I’ll be doing an hour of cardio followed by 20 minutes of stretching. Call you when I’m done.
(USE REGULARLY)
5. The ‘SIM’ manoeuvre – Remove the SIM card from your phone. When someone calls you the automated reply will be something like “The network is out of coverage area.”
(Use occasionally)
6. The ’10-second/Emergency’ manoeuvre – “Hello!” “Hello?” “Hello?” “Hello?”
7. The ‘healing’ manoeuvre – “I need time to revitalize myself mentally. If it’s a ‘massage and spa’ for you then its ‘pawning noobs’ for me.“

DON’T USE THESE
[Avoid using these like you avoid Justin Bieber and pop-up windows which advertise ‘Get laid tonight’]
1. The ‘I am a man’ mistake – “I want to play CS and there is nothing you can do to prevent me from doing so.”
(Result – Agony.)
2. The ‘GF wrath’ mistake – Switching off your mobile or not be reachable.
(Result – Absolute and complete counter-nirvana)

I’m a strong supporter of gender equality so,
Tactical Manoeuvres for girls:
Just read the above blog. All of you are smart to devise appropriate counter-strike.

Btw here's a picture of my girlfriend bit.ly/y0vIs1

Regards
Sujan ‘suck optical mouse’ Deswal

[Reminder for Shreya: I love you :)]