Blog: Getting in shape: CS Style

February 12th, 2017 18:13

Alright, listen up HLTV

So I'm guessing most of you guys (Excluding FitGuy ofc, Kappa) are pretty average nerds, nolifers, etc.

That conclusion comes from the multiple "R8 GRILL, HOT GIRLS THREADS" that come up every single day.

Well, listen up.

If you want to get in shape and get some mad pussy in your life, but you still love CS, I have the magic solution for you.

I will show you how to watch CS AND get in shape at the same time, so when you watch your favorite teams, you will not be sitting around doing nothing.



Yes, I will be showing you how I have got in shape while still enjoying CS.

Now with this plan, I am assuming you guys watch CS at least 4-5 hours a day when T1 shit comes up, such as the major, $100K+ tournaments, etc. while you do nothing.

(Well, I'm not judging, some days I spend more than 5 hours watching T3-4 CS when I'm bored, you do you bro)

Anyways, here is a nice training regimen I have put together for the average nerd to go through to get in some dankass shape.

Week 1:

Alright, when you first start out, decide which games you want to watch while exercising. This can be random Kinguin cup matches, or if you're lucky, a large tournament is playing. Either way, pick 3 matches you would like to watch every day.

(If there isn't any games on that you would like to watch, watch replays of good games (I suggest DHW 2014, or Cologne 2014, most newbs haven't seen those matches, and they're really good)

Alright, match one.

The first match you picked, you should pray it is a short one. Hope for a 16-0, because during this one you will be jogging the entire match WITHOUT stopping, and while doing this you will keep a steady pace.


When I first started out, I would wait for a match to start, get on the treadmill, then set a slow speed to go for the entire match.

If you have a treadmill: Set it at a slow speed your first week, maybe 3mph. (Or your equivalent in kmph)

If you don't have a treadmill: Get your ass outside and grab your phone. Stream the match while jogging (or even walking) at a slow pace. Stop ONLY when the match is finished. (Seriously, no breaks until a team reaches 16 rounds.) If you don't have cellular data, just download a match onto your phone and get out there.

My first week, I went 3mph which is about 5~kmph consistently, but you should go with whatever speed you are comfortable with that you can hold it for about an hour (which is about how long 1 map will go for, *If BO3, only go for the first map).


Map/Match 2:

For this one, pick a team to cheer for. Placing a bet on one team can help with this part.

Everytime your team LOSES a round: 5 pushups

Everytime your team WINS a round: 20 second plank

Everytime your team ECOs/Half buys(SMGs): 5 situps

Everytime your team forcebuys(almost/completely depleted money, not everyone on rifles): 5 burpees (Because you're going to get fucked up with your team makes a fucked up decision)

Values are adjustable for your skill level, but don't cheat yourself. Motivation is key.

Map/Match 3:

Now, you're probably tired, and have exercised for about 2~ hours now. Luckily, this part has you go until halftime of match 3, this is your warm-down.

Take the speed you went match one jogging, and cut it in half, then do a nice jog cool down until halftime of match 3.

2nd half of the match, either stretch the entire time (if you want) or just stretch for a couple of rounds.

Map/Match 4 and on

Most people won't exercise this long, but get creative. If you want to keep going, set your own rules, but like I said, don't cheat yourself.

Week 2 and On:

If you do that at least 5 days a week, you should be confident in raising your speeds and values a bit. Like if you did 3mph week 1, do 3.5 mph week 2 etc. Just don't hurt yourself, it will discourage you.

If you did 5 pushups every blah blah, do 8-10 week 2.
(You get the idea)

Feel free to add your own flair to your workout. This was just the base workout I started with for a couple of weeks.

Now, I have added different things into the mix since I joined a gym a couple of months ago. Get creative, your health depends on how you work yourself.


I myself have been doing this for a couple months, and I have been happier, my skin is no longer pizza, and I have turned it around a lot.

Honestly, this is just my solution for not doing nothing while watching CS, and I highly recommend it.

Post any questions you have for me, I'll answer them. Sorry if some of this doesn't make any sense, I'll clarify some things if you want.

We can all be FitGuy HLTV, cheers!
2017-02-12 18:50
how much time do you think i have
2017-02-12 18:52
North America alexKiNg^ 
If you're a typical CS nerd, probably a lot if you watch matches everyday.
2017-02-12 18:54
im actually starting this mr.freakazoid
2017-02-12 19:51
North America alexKiNg^ 
If you actually commit to it, you can be just like bubble. B U L G A R I A
2017-02-12 19:59
ty for this pic now im def killing myself
2017-02-12 20:00
2017-02-13 01:29
Brazil tails36 
I would do this but I have school at morning and work afternoon so nah
2017-02-13 03:04
Tl Dr
2017-02-13 03:29
wot the fuck. Wot the actual fuck. I wanted to enjoy the match simply. I don't need any of this shit
2017-02-13 12:36
Lul stop posting yours plan to get fit
2017-02-13 20:29
this is some redditor shit , gtfo
2017-02-16 09:35
s1 | 
Armenia gr1nch 
this is some redditor shit , gtfo
2017-02-16 09:49
Dear god...
2017-02-21 02:27
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