(Part fact, part fantasy)
Play this while you're reading - bit.ly/HeJCs
Fat and amateur extraordinaire Deswal gets up early in the morning and tip-toes to the family computer to check out the latest on hltv.org. He is careful not to make too much of noise lest his mom wakes up and whacks the shit out of him for indulging in social networking instead of preparing for his upcoming college interviews.
As Deswal logs on to hltv.org, one thread in particular catches his attention. He opens it and gasps in bewilderment and quickly summarizes the following out of the 664 comments-
100 comments linking to Troll pictures
200 comments relating to each other’s country
334 (and counting) death threats.
Amused and curious, Deswal decided to send a personal message to the topic creator (‘GayMer’) and ask him what counter measures will he be taking to avoid getting murdered if the people find out his real identity.
(Following are the messages that were exchanged during the conversation)
Me: What’s with the topic man? :) You do know that the ‘Justin Bieber wants your BACK’ punch-line won’t get you any concert-goers for his ‘BACK’DOOR tour :\\
Alien: gtfo Indian. You don’t have any rice fields to plough?
Me: Well sir that will be ‘wheat fields’. ‘Rice fields’ is China. And what’s with the animosity?
Alien: Run back to your ghetto nigga!!
Me: Eh? The ghettos you are referring to are predominantly of 2 types. The first being the African-American ghettos which provide shelter to the economically handicapped and the second one being the Polish ghettos where many innocents lost their lives. So if I was you, I would really be careful with what I say and show a little more respect for the aforementioned.
Alien: haha, you wanna cry? How can you afford to have a computer when you are so poor!
Me: Zzz, wtf? Why do you think I’m poor?
Alien: Slumdog Millionaire?
Me: Die Danny Boyle :@
Alien: Haha, truth hurts snake charmer?
Me: WTF? Now you are calling me snake charmer. What’s wrong with you?
Alien: haha, hyper nazi boy!
Me: Hmmm. That is an extremely offensive thing to call someone from Germany especially because an entire country was generalized and held responsible for the mistakes of a few. We Indians have rampant corruption and scams which are again, the illegal greedy actions of a few and do not characterize our entire country.
Btw, what country are you from? Your flag says ‘world’.
Alien: Go spread terror Paki.. lol
Me: Listen you narrow minded f**k, get this straight – even you or I could be terrorists. It has nothing to do with country or religion. Being a terrorist is the result of systematic brainwashing, following misinterpreted goals and one’s own choice. Being a national from Pakistan or any other country has absolutely nothing to do with it. Now either you tell me which country you’re from or this conversation is over.
Alien: Ok ok. Calm down. Having lotta fun with you :D
Alien: I’ve never told it to anyone. A bit awkward.
Me: :O Your words match exactly to the ones that Justin Bieber will use when he acknowledges that he’s a closet homosexual. Hahaha
On a serious note, what’s awkward about it? Every country has their own share of problems and drawbacks. Doesn’t mean you need to feel awkward about it :)
Alien: Well Ok! You seem kind of sensible so I’ll tell you. I’m from Alienation. Its a far away planet from Earth but we can use Earth’s internet technology. That’s is why you don’t see any flag on my profile. Ofcourse it also means that some users haven’t selected their countries too :) Nixon and Nomad know who is who so…
Me: So Nixon and Nomad are aliens?
Alien: No you dumbf**k. They just know that we exist and that we need to keep our identities a secret.
Me: oh ok.
Had your morning medication martian boy? Buahahahhahhahhaha lol xD
Alien: :| this conversation is over. I was serious.
Me: ok ok, I apologize. :D Why the f**k are you trolling here then?
Alien: Well CS is very popular here at Alienation but we have many bad people here.
Me: Bad people?
Alien: Well yeah, I don’t know what you call them. They are a mix of people who talk bad about their own country or about someone else’s country to show they are the best and that others are not good. Then others will join in and insult along with one another or against each other. The whole environment turns negative. They don’t understand that they are all brothers and sisters amongst themselves :(.
Me: eh weren’t you doing what all you just mentioned with me too? :)
And informally we call such people ‘assholes’ but a formal term would be ‘a racist troll’. Racist is too strong a word but there is none other to describe their spiteful comments. Hold up, you sound sensible too, so why are you trolling and why not back in Alienation?
Alien: Well I was never a troll (learnt a new word). But with so many around me I eventually got influenced by them and became one. I don’t troll there cause of too much negativity. But here at hltv.org quite a number of you from different parts of the earth are still in your senses :) My bad on the trolling.
Me: Hmmm. Its ok :D. Atleast you’re honest about yourself, unlike Bieber :| And you know trolling is not all bad imo. Its fun \\m/ But racist trolling is a No No. Especially because you are referring to another person, not as an individual, but as a region and country. You’re basically calling every apple in the basket spoilt on account of a single bad one.
Racist trolling helps anyone none. It diminishes your respect in the eyes of your peers and it inadvertently forces the other person to think whether everyone from your country is the same which leads to him\\her becoming a troll (a classic Catch-22).
That is why it is very necessary for us to keep a check on ourselves and troll only for fun and not to insult. Sorry for the lecture :D
Do you want to hear a saying?
Alien: Sure :)
Me: Every war is the result of an insult and every peace is the result of a show of respect.
Alien: Nice :) Who said that?
Me: Me xD hahah
Alien: :| Not very funny.
Me: Eh ok :\\ Complete honesty can be bad too. If you need to criticize or disagree then you can do so with some tact and a little finesse so that your point gets across without the other person feeling insulted.
Alien: Ah! Is that why you call everyone ‘sir’? Haha I read your posts on other threads.
Me: Lol yeah. My point of calling someone sir is so that they understand that even though I might not agree with their view, I respect it because what may seem stupid or irrelevant to me, could have made complete sense to the one who expressed them.
Although his ass I’d kick anyday :@bit.ly/z89GWm
Lol. Just kidding Deven. Well done babe :)
Alien: Hahah xD :D Me happy to have an Indian friend :)
Me: Proud to be an Indian.
Proud to be having friends from across the globe (and the universe :D) and proud to be an Earthling.
Friends->Strong…forever strong \\m/
Deswal’s mom’s aggressive hand gesture propelled him to change his perception from his ‘pride in…’ to the ‘benefits’ of higher education.
Sujan ‘suckopticalmouse’ Deswal