I can only confirm the part about most top DJs using laptops is horse shit. Like I said, DVBBS can't mix. Armin has a laptop for contact with FoH and sometimes in small clubs some artists have their VJs near the booth.
Also not to mention a laptop must be used (and often set up on the booth) for if the artist wants to sync their visuals with the tracks.
Just because you see a laptop, it doesn't mean they don't mix.
The rest however I do agree, is personal taste.
Currently it's that evolved that entertainment elements are very important during a set on mainstream festivals. Think of "Hey Hoo", "clap your hands", "turn on your lights", "sing along" or bunch of fireworks to elevate the general experience.
But like you mentioned, we both have different thoughts about it. Imo it's about the complete picture. Own music production, mixing, visuals, SFX, other entertainment elements, track choice and how you present your set towards the public.
Whenever I see a DJ looking down on his deck for hours and not even looking up once to communicate/connect with the crowd, I don't see that as a 'skilled' DJ. You need to have contact with the crowd somehow. Otherwise you might as well play a mix cd of some sort