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Most fucked up thing you ever did
United Kingdom RIPenglando 
What's the most fucked up thing you ever did as a kid/teenager?? MINE: We were like playing in a yard and we pretended to be doctors. I almost injected puddle water in a friends arm with a syringe. I believe if parents didn't stop me I would've had 1 friend less now .
2016-06-14 15:21
Topics are hidden when running Sport mode.
Can't really say it here, never told to anyone though. Sometimes it keeps me up at night..
2016-06-14 15:22
imagine that, except with knowing that someone somewhere has it on video
2016-06-14 15:31
alright i'll confess i fucked yo nan in the arse
2016-06-14 15:31
2016-06-14 15:45
ive seen the video
2016-06-15 12:00
2016-06-15 14:10
The most retard thing is come back to HLTV time and time again.
2016-06-16 03:35
2016-06-19 11:27
2016-06-15 14:12
jks | 
Turkey paviz0
2016-06-15 18:43
Hungary Shaperz
you won the internet sir
2016-06-15 20:22
i think its over now bois lets go home
2016-06-16 07:44
2016-06-20 07:24
Oh, you "can't really say it here"? That's such a fascinating story!!!!! Oh, no, no one cares, and there was no point to mentioning this.
2016-06-14 15:37
wow that's mean... i gonna cry now bye
2016-06-14 15:38
stfu kys fgt
2016-06-14 17:37
2016-06-14 18:06
then why the fuck mention it? attention whore spotted
2016-06-14 17:27
2016-06-14 17:33
Finland Eepzie
2016-06-14 18:06
2016-06-15 11:21
2016-06-15 11:58
2016-06-15 18:23
2016-06-15 22:27
2016-06-15 22:33
2016-06-15 22:53
Chile Stinguerx
2016-06-15 23:41
2016-06-16 05:30
United States SjD
2016-06-16 07:25
2016-06-16 15:14
total count so far: +12
2016-06-16 15:16
2016-06-16 17:26
2016-06-17 09:24
2016-06-17 14:54
2016-06-17 15:03
2016-06-18 12:53
2016-06-19 11:54
United Kingdom Lionhart
2016-06-21 16:44
total Count so far -2 XD
2016-06-26 20:40
2016-07-22 15:09
2016-07-22 15:33
India Gandhii4
joined hltv
2016-06-14 15:23
pretty tough
2016-06-14 15:33
Bulgaria BroN
2016-06-14 17:43
2016-06-19 11:20
Everyone here regrets that for life I'm pretty sure.
2016-06-15 19:13
+1 but once you got in, you can never leave
2016-06-19 13:00
+1 even more.
2016-06-19 13:33
was born in sweden
2016-06-14 15:24
Not cool dude.
2016-06-14 18:08
2016-06-15 17:57
JD | 
Poland chujwto
What's wrong in sweden? xD
2016-06-19 12:15
2016-06-19 22:41
JD | 
Poland chujwto
Do the same as Breivik did! He was Norwegian but hey, still scandinavia ye?
2016-06-20 20:28
And become the most hated person in the country? He needs to be isolated in jail because everyone in there would kill him in a second :D and he is in jail with child rapists and other murderers
2016-10-28 17:45
stepped on a lego brick
2016-06-14 15:26
Palestine asmarle
2016-06-14 15:46
Denmark LnDcsgo
denmark = satan
2016-06-14 16:01
clened a toilet who would have thought years later it would be your job
2016-06-14 17:34
How can "clened toilet" be my job? Nice english u retarded fucktard that is ashamed of his country xDDDDDDD
2016-06-14 17:36
I am sorry. Time to buy some ajax and clean my toilet too as a tribute to my fallen brother , VP_Fangay
2016-06-14 17:54
i just rekt u man
2016-06-14 17:56
Indeed you did , brother. To the restroom!
2016-06-14 18:20
No you only rekt yourself. There's a difference between "Cleaned a toilet" and "Cleaned toilet". One is a past action of cleaning a toilet and the other one is an object which has been cleaned. Your english sucks not his. he did it right, except for missing the a in cleaned. But that didn't kill the meaning.
2016-06-19 13:52
Nonononono i think you just rekt urself my dear slovakian. Is "Cleaned a toilet" a job? No. BUT you can do it for a job. So yeah think before youll try to look smart on hltv AND WHOSE ENGLISH SUCKS NOW HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
2016-06-19 14:09
lol you're stupid. First of all I'm Slovenian not Slovakian and cleaning toilets is a job...
2016-06-21 16:26
seriously? hahaha youre that retarded that you still dont get it. TOILET CLEANING is a job when CLEANED TOILET ISNT. ill make it easier for ur small brain TOILET CLEANING - JOB CLEANED TOILET - OBJECT =/= job. do you understand now stupid slovakian?
2016-06-21 16:29
.... He says "cleaned a toilet" because he's answering to the question "What's the most fucked up thing you ever did ". Of course he'd use past form you idiot.
2016-06-21 16:32
And you still don't understand the difference between CLEANED TOILET and CLEANED A TOILET. First is object like you said. The second is (and what the greek guy used) is an action. Please stop trying
2016-06-21 16:34
oh my God. ive never reached that level of autism on this site
2016-06-21 17:06
2016-06-21 17:45
Let him be my brother. Don't distract him while he is cleaning the toilets in Hilton Warsaw's hotel
2016-06-19 22:12
reply to me once u are out of debt poorlak
2016-06-21 16:30
Buy Francis
2016-06-14 20:05
I will buy you , Medkit
2016-06-15 10:59
how old are you? 13?
2016-06-15 18:59
2016-06-16 11:49
do you listen rap? If so that explains why you're so retarded.
2016-06-16 11:50
2016-06-19 11:04
Nice try Poland copy flagger
2016-06-21 16:48
Let my retarded friends burn a barn
2016-06-14 15:27
u should have trapped them inside and burn the barn
2016-06-14 15:32
2016-06-15 14:49
2016-06-15 20:29
African Union Bruce U
2016-06-16 03:58
Joined hltv
2016-06-14 15:27
2016-06-15 02:02
didnt stop cheaters in cs go, now its too late :(
2016-06-14 15:35
I think you misspelled smuggled tons of cocaine in the usa
2016-06-14 15:35
So you would have -1 friends in total? :o
2016-06-14 15:35
1-1= -1 kek
2016-06-15 19:12
2016-06-16 17:22
2016-06-17 14:56
lol it's that easy to get syringes in Brazil? scary shit man
2016-06-14 15:37
everyone here does drugs so yes.
2016-06-14 15:49
Where is it not easy to get a syringe? lol
2016-06-14 17:55
Getting syringes is not had at all dude
2016-06-14 18:39
in finland junkies get syringes for returning used ones
2016-06-15 13:55
yeah and they have that here too. but because of that, junkies don't leave them around much, ya know?)))
2016-06-15 15:12
u r weird
2016-06-15 17:23
he's just a shit talker
2016-06-15 17:43
2016-06-15 18:25
How is that scary exactly..? you realize syringes are used for a shit ton of applications and are legally available in almost every country for everyone?(adults. laws may differ for underage) i can go and buy 100 right now at the store?
2016-06-16 20:08
In the US they can be hard to get unless you have like diabetes soactually it's pretty easy Kappa
2016-06-19 21:00
you don't get needles with that though, do you??? syringes are normal, needles with them aren't. he ain't gonna inject his friend with just a syringe, it implies there was needle with it.
2016-06-20 11:30
ehhm well as the son of a pharmaceutic i can tell u that i can buy a syringe any given time in germany. nothing special about it.
2016-06-26 01:27
Eine Spritze besteht aus einem zylindrischen Hohlraum, einem darin beweglichen Kolben und einer konusförmigen Düse (Luer Slip). I imagine you can buy eine Spritze ohne Kanüle, yes? That is normal, and can be bought here too. But you can't buy the needles so easily. I doubt you can buy a syringe with a needle attached, unless you have it prescribed for some reason (diabetics etc). so clarify pls, in Germanyland can anyone can buy a syringe + needle?
2016-06-27 10:59
2016-06-27 17:45
I was like on a vacation but with a lot other kids from all parts of the country, in our group we had this fucking anoying kid, so fucking anoying, like the nerdiest possible kid, but in his words he was a badass, so this dude had a disposable cam, yeah i'm a 90's kid, so we used those at the time, like 2 days before the trip\vacation ended, i took a shit and took photos of it with his cam, and took dick picks wiht it as well. I remember he said that his parents wooped his ass all the time for no big reason at all, so in the last day when we were saying our goodbyes, i told him, dude i took photos of my dick and a big dump i took, you should have seen the fear on his face, he basicly told me his father was going to beat the shit out of him. Felt bad for a minute, than i remember he was a total douch to me all the time x)
2016-06-14 15:45
Did the same in our Confirmation school back in the days. A friend of ours had a disposable camera with him and we took photos of our priests ass and some nice dick pics. His parents were not that happy about them. ':D' Good times.
2016-06-14 15:54
2016-06-14 16:10
2016-06-15 03:02
Can I see the pics? ;)
2016-06-15 21:29
2016-06-15 22:38
ofc u can just pm me my friend
2016-06-16 03:31
"yeah i'm a 90's kid" wow dude ur so old
2016-06-19 14:17
well you can say you are a 90's kid if you are born in 1990-1995, so hes atleast 20 years old. its retarded to call yourself 90's kid if you are born in like 1999 or some shit like that
2016-06-20 16:26
I am 26 lol, i had walkmans, portable cdplayers, disk cards, and i had dial up internet connection that made all those shity noises, we used slides and transparency projectors to do presentations at school, and disposable cam were a big thing back then, since cellphones didn't had cams, and the first ones that had it, had a shit quality
2016-06-22 13:28
didnt drop a wep for a teammate
2016-06-14 15:47
World fcbdavid
Fell in love with a girl
2016-06-14 15:48
deep, atleast you learned your lesso.n
2016-06-14 15:51
C-c-c-c-c cunt! you fucked up the stripes!
2016-06-18 16:27
i fell in love once and almost completely
2016-06-15 15:49
she's in love with the world
2016-06-16 08:35
Had a relationship with a beautiful girl named Rusti who was a year below me from year 10 until yr 12 without having sex even once,when we were both virgins. Even tho we did other sexual things & such,there was private reasons why losing her virginity scared her,much like other girls.So i stayed with her for 2 years because i absolutely fucking loved her & we were a great couple. (Because for all you preb kids out here,There is more to a relationship than just fucking) Even while i was receiving interest from other girls. Then a couple months after we split she fucked a guy 3 years older than her who i knew abit,not a friend but i knew him. yeee got fucked over pretty hard with that one ay Boys, now 18 years old & still have my virginity. Even miss her to this day, Life's a cunt.
2016-06-15 18:22
United Kingdom Bo2s
2016-06-15 18:30
That sucks man :(
2016-06-15 18:49
Because for all you preb kids out here,There is more to a relationship than just fucking prolly the one of the truest things here on hltv
2016-06-15 22:46
REZ | 
Sweden jackir
she probs got pregnant and has to support the kid thru prostitution :) cheers m8
2016-06-15 22:47
2016-06-16 03:33
Hungary Shaperz
saddest story I ever heard on hltv
2016-06-16 05:39
I mean when you give someone a tissue and they blow their nose into it do you want it back? Trust me, you're better off without her.
2016-06-16 18:46
mimi | 
Sweden eNvym
you deserve better no worries hltv has your back bro
2016-06-18 16:31
oh lol what a whore
2016-06-18 16:37
fucked ur mum
2016-06-14 15:54
she's a monkey. You perv.
2016-06-14 15:56
what if he's a monkey too?
2016-06-14 16:01
2016-06-14 17:36
i poop'ed on the carpet
2016-06-14 15:56
sniffed friends sister panties
2016-06-14 15:59
that's quite ok
2016-06-15 01:39
i cummed on them anbd she got pregnant
2016-06-15 01:48
seems legit
2016-06-15 01:52
Was she attractive?
2016-06-15 02:35
damn yeh i used to get boner when she opened the damn door
2016-06-15 02:41
is the kid cute?
2016-06-15 02:44
2016-06-15 11:34
when i was 7 or something me my brother and some friends were collecting pokemon cards even tho we didnt know how to play them lol we once met a chinese guy who was like 1-2 years older than me and we traded cards and kept on meeting at a playground next to a friends house and one day he said he would undress, piss on a slide and slide down if each of us would give him like 10 cards lol never went to that slide since that day [*]
2016-06-14 15:59
smart chinese boy, he truly rekt you IRL
2016-06-14 18:33
holly shit
2016-06-15 01:39
I stole about $360 from my dad when i was little and spent it all on toys
2016-06-14 16:01
i did the same with my grandmother ahaha, but i stole almost 500€ xD and spent them all on lego's and food when i was little.
2016-06-14 16:38
how come you haven't been murdered ?
2016-06-14 17:51
oh watch out guise, we got badass over here. bring bandages his edginess might cut you!!
2016-06-14 18:34
Bro, he bought food with the money.
2016-06-14 18:38
lmao, no one is displeased with food :D
2016-06-14 18:42
Maybe because he's not from france ahmed?
2016-06-14 20:08
2016-06-14 20:09
2016-06-14 20:10
I replied to this shit thread
2016-06-14 16:02
Belgium is such a small country, that whenever I see someone with a Belgian flag I feel like it's my neightbor
2016-06-16 01:25
2016-06-17 09:41
Post a legit comment on hltv
2016-06-14 16:06
i bet 8$ on NiP and they lost to fucking clan mystic on nuke
2016-06-14 16:06
he said nuke
2016-06-14 17:31
he said lost
2016-06-14 17:32
where did u see nip losing to CM on nuke?
2016-06-14 17:43
twitch probably
2016-06-14 18:09
2016-06-26 14:36
tbf this was when they had sf who is now a vac banned player.
2016-06-15 15:18
I bet on mystik kek
2016-06-15 22:57
Sweden chainylol
Punched my dad in the face.
2016-06-14 16:11
cuz he is a fag?
2016-06-14 17:37
Sweden chainylol
he cheated on my mom
2016-06-14 18:02
Finland Eepzie
don't worry, you did the right thing
2016-06-14 18:08
2016-06-14 18:10
she deserved it, that bitch
2016-06-14 18:15
+1 fuck her
2016-06-15 01:13
2016-06-15 15:02
2016-06-16 08:27
yeah gj you're in the right here
2016-06-15 20:33
gj i was too much of a pussy to
2016-06-16 03:35
I threw a snowball at someones window and it was a rock covered in snow, broke the window and no one ever knew
2016-06-14 17:29
u so badass* doood
2016-06-14 17:37
thug life
2016-06-14 17:37
I did that too, but it was ice instead of a rock
2016-06-15 03:04
angry pirate
2016-06-14 17:36
Like I said the last time this was asked; killed a guy. That's something you carry with you for the rest of your life. You can't take it back.
2016-06-14 17:38
nt american fakeflagger
2016-06-14 17:40
2016-06-14 17:41
story time? tell more
2016-06-15 15:19
If you eat the corpse you will forget it, I'm sure about that ;D
2016-06-14 17:41
for real?
2016-06-15 13:28
2016-06-15 13:30
I smell bullshit, you're not telling any details or how did it happen.
2016-06-15 15:44
No one asked. It was a fight, the man hit his head falling and died.
2016-06-16 07:31
good story, ill believe after i die
2016-06-16 17:36
I don't care. I just shared my bad moment.
2016-06-16 17:48
Why did you kill him?
2016-06-15 14:06
what the actual fuck ?!
2016-06-15 15:03
same. fuck. FeelsBadMan. how do u get away from these thoughts? feel free to add me
2016-06-15 15:13
REZ | 
Sweden jackir
i killed a man too.. then another.. and another. and another, another, another, another, then the entire bloodline was killed
2016-06-15 22:50
and another one
2016-06-17 15:15
My sister told me not to eat the last cookie but i did it anyways
2016-06-14 17:39
My sister told me not to eat her but i did it anyways
2016-06-14 17:44
i am | 
Yugoslavia bleaq
My sister told me not to but i did her anyways
2016-06-14 18:00
My sister told me .... wait I don't have a sister
2016-06-15 02:50
I told my sister not to ride my throbbing cock but she did it anyways
2016-06-15 02:55
nt japan
2016-06-15 03:37
Expected from japan
2016-06-15 12:00
2016-06-15 20:34
+1 Expected
2016-06-16 01:27
+1 Expected Expected
2016-06-17 15:15
Israel ZiinTotH
2016-06-16 12:22
REZ | 
Sweden jackir
2016-06-15 22:51
2016-06-19 11:29
Your sister told me i should eat her and i did it anyways
2016-06-15 15:41
she's a slut anyways
2016-06-15 15:04
wrong shoe on each foot
2016-06-14 17:41
I hit a kid in the face with a brick. He was never the same again. I do feel terrible about it when I think about it sometimes. I mean I was only 16 but that's a hard thing to leave your mind.
2016-06-14 17:42
"i was only 16"
2016-06-14 18:12
Basically without a brain lol
2016-06-14 18:43
Well I'm 35 now. And yeah to comment below you, I did have a brain... But I was hanging with alot of gangbangers and was young and dumb.
2016-06-15 00:46
Sweden Eking01
Not an excuse for fucking up someones life.
2016-06-15 11:36
you are totally right. And ive felt terrible. Thatgs an understatment
2016-06-15 12:02
Why would you do that? At the age of 16????? Did u get dropped as a child or smthng?
2016-06-15 14:08
The way shit was where I was from. It was a big fight. People were hitting other people with bats and shit. Hit or get hit... They actually came to fight us on our block.
2016-06-16 01:13
I guess it makes more sense then,I apologize
2016-06-16 03:11
Yeah it makes sense in a way but things really shouldn't be like that. And I mean the world is even worse now. Sucks.
2016-06-16 05:30
2016-06-16 14:50
Smashed a guy's head with a beer bottle then proceeded to break his arm.
2016-06-14 17:44
ye, but why?
2016-06-14 18:25
2016-06-15 19:11
damn, u IRL warrior
2016-06-15 15:07
I ate vegetables.
2016-06-14 17:46
What's the hardest part to eat from a vegetable? The wheelchair.
2016-06-15 19:22
REZ | 
Sweden jackir
2016-06-15 22:52
Getting stoned, walking around town when we went into an open, covered parking garage. There was a car window open with a tarp hanging out. We lit our joint, then lit the tarp and walked to our buddies place to go chill and smoke more weed. When we left 3 or 4 hours later, we were stopped by the fire department saying someone told them they saw us leaving the parking garage before the fire. We pleaded ignorance and they let us go. No idea what happened to the car, but there were 2-4 fire trucks and 3 cops cars at the scene.
2016-06-14 17:47
2016-06-14 18:13
Yeah, I don't think it is funny nor am I proud of it nowadays. It was pretty fucked up, but it happened 11 years ago and I can't really change it now. I wasn't the one who lit the tarp... but I also didn't put it out (actually it was more or less smoldering, not even completely lit.. doesn't matter though). Those people I hung out with were losers. The one is my age (25) and has a kid that's 9 and the others aren't doing much. I don't really hang out with them anymore for that specific reason.
2016-06-15 23:40
25 - 9 = 16 he had a kid when he was 16 wtf
2016-06-16 07:00
Yup. They also had a second one 3 years later "so the first one has someone to play with". The first one also ate a special pancake when he was 4 by accident. You can see why I don't hang out with these people anymore lol
2016-06-16 17:48
wtf yeah i see it now ... just curious, how high was he? :D is it unhealthy for kids that age?
2016-06-16 18:34
Yea marijuana is unhealthy for basically anyone <16, beyond that age the chance of it causing any problems drops a metric shitton
2016-06-19 19:16
nice fakeflag
2016-06-15 14:09
Not sure how I'm fake flagging... but ok...
2016-06-15 23:36
All canadians are good guys. I thought you were aware of this
2016-06-16 03:13
american refugees, fucking scum. lighting our god damn car tarps on fire.
2016-06-16 03:33
I slept at my friends house and pissed in his bed.
2016-06-14 17:49
2016-06-15 03:06
2016-06-16 07:01
2016-07-22 15:28
I stole a hamster from a pet shop because they wouldnt sell it to kids under 18 years old... later on I went back and stole a partner for it.. Looking back at it im glad i didnt get caught who knows what would have happened :D
2016-06-14 17:50
how old were u?
2016-06-14 18:07
probably like 15
2016-06-14 18:08
2016-06-15 00:57
so he stole a thing that actually costs money and it made ur day? u must be a muslim or a gipsy then.
2016-06-15 15:15
No he is a russian fakeflagger
2016-06-18 12:02
mad kebab?
2016-06-18 16:42
2016-06-15 13:36
Pulled a gun on a cop lmfao
2016-06-14 17:52
how was the buttsex in prison?
2016-06-14 17:59
lmfao I never went to prison
2016-06-14 17:59
2016-06-14 18:08
I was 15 so got sentenced as a minor
2016-06-14 18:13
woah, watch out we got criminal over here
2016-06-14 18:22
aint no slackin down here
2016-06-14 18:28
did u vote for trump?
2016-06-15 15:16
fuck trump on 6
2016-06-15 15:17
oh i thought u r black and u would like to get to the place where u should be living in nvm
2016-06-15 15:33
trump coming down on Steve he will get clapped real quick boi
2016-06-15 15:33
trump will get killed this year btw u too
2016-06-15 15:34
i aint scared of dyin n ion give fuck bout no bitch ass. aint no nigga takin my life
2016-06-15 15:35
if i had to choose to buy a dog or u, do u know what i would choose? yeah u r right i would choose the fucking dog u know why? cuz dog iq>ur iq
2016-06-15 15:37
lmfao lil whiteboi talkin. come down here n u get stomped
2016-06-15 15:37
u r asking me to come to u because u cant afford a flight to russia? seems legit 10$ per month boi
2016-06-15 15:40
nigga i cant leave the country cuz ima felon. lmfao fuckin broke ass whiteboi
2016-06-15 15:41
ok i should stop talking to u because u r a legit braindead. now i understand why na is shit
2016-06-15 15:42
u got rekt
2016-06-16 17:30
bruh your comments made my day, gj whiteboi
2016-06-16 01:38
u have a weak ass life fr lmfao
2016-06-17 02:47
love it when people pretend to be black on the internet fuck off wigger
2016-06-19 14:29
nigga why u pretending to be white then? c how u stupid u sound lmfao
2016-06-19 15:40
Bulgaria AboveYall
"broke ass whiteboi" u do realize russians and ur american "white boys" have absolutely nothing in common right ?
2016-06-19 14:55
u do realize u dumb asl
2016-06-19 15:39
how long were you at the hospital
2016-06-14 18:05
No need for hospital
2016-06-14 18:05
are you white?
2016-06-14 18:06
2016-06-14 18:06
surprised you didnt get shot lmao
2016-06-14 18:07
yeah them fuckers crazy
2016-06-14 18:07
how did handcuffs feel like
2016-06-14 18:06
ure mom said: he dindu nuffin he gud boii
2016-06-14 18:58
2016-06-15 01:39
lmfao u fuckin goof
2016-06-15 14:41
ayy lmao
2016-06-15 15:44
Portugal mrsc
lmao hahahahah
2016-06-15 18:50
Libya Ayudaaa
Haha ahahaha n1
2016-06-16 12:13
China PRChina
2016-06-26 08:14
heard stories of black kids getting shot by police for a lot less in the states. you're lucky to be alive.
2016-06-15 15:22
nigga I been shot 4 times. stabbed 2 times. There aint no luck down here. Errone getting shot down here
2016-06-15 15:23
i'm calling bullshit.
2016-06-15 15:24
cops aint the thing u should be scared down here. we da murder capital
2016-06-15 15:25
you happen to be the most unintelligent person i have ever come across on the internet. i hope you feel proud.
2016-06-16 03:35
tbh youre the unintelligent person
2016-06-16 10:22
why the fuck did you have an actual syringe as a kid
2016-06-14 17:57
we found it on the street.
2016-06-14 17:58
People find syringes on the street in favela!? its worse than i thought. And then they use those syringes as toys!?!?!?! Could your parents afford toys?
2016-06-14 17:58
Didn't you collect random shit as a kid? We were running around and collecting bottle caps and shi like that when we were little. I mean only 90's kids will remember...
2016-06-14 18:03
2016-06-14 18:10
Singapore Prawblems
I collected random shit on the street as a kid as well, but over here it's more trash and coins rather than well, syringes Hate to say this but this time, it's your country that messed up
2016-06-14 18:35
>random shit >syringes (probably used by crackhead) Never go full brazil
2016-06-15 14:28
Why is everyone shitting on this guy, there were fucking syringes, it's not a big deal. If you know where to go in Australia you can find syringes on the ground as well, it's not like noone does drugs in your country
2016-06-16 13:24
yeah all kids do these days is hang around playin on their fuckin iphones.
2016-06-15 15:23
yeah, only 90s kids would remember the feeling of finding a syringe in the streets. Bruh you must have grown up in some fucked up place.
2016-06-16 01:41
I bet that in the right place you'd find them too, t's just that you don't go where junkies are
2016-06-14 18:45
that's even more disturbing
2016-06-14 17:59
I was about to ask the same thing
2016-06-14 17:58
Broke windows and stuff like that :D
2016-06-14 18:39
Used wallhack in matchmaking to make russians mad.
2016-06-14 18:43
Sweden Rec123
eat a baby
2016-06-14 18:47
China PRChina
so is someone cum on ur face?
2016-06-15 21:52
Sweden Rec123
It was olof, but don´t tell anyone or they will kill me
2016-06-15 22:28
Argentina YH!one
I broke up or burn lot of shit and I had lot of fights, I never lost one btw. But once we were in a big stove with some friends and I said "What if I pick a fathom with my hand for a while" because I remember seing a picture of some dudes barefoot walking in fathoms, so I did it and when it started burning me I threw it a way and it accidentally fell in the neck of one of the guys and I truly burn him out, now he has a humongous scar in his neck for life, he didn't talk to me for like 1 year even tho I said sorry to him lot of times, so every time I see him I feel really guilty and bad of the idiocy I did, I keep seeing him and the relation it's getting better but.. Still, I was an idiot. My advice is that you should not play with fire and actually hear to what your parent say, don't be a pyromaniac idiot like me.
2016-06-14 18:50
So you were inside the stove?
2016-06-18 08:03
its just the normal stuff 3rd worlders do these days
2016-06-18 12:20
2016-06-18 12:21
hahahahahahahha just saw that now hahahahahahahha goold
2016-06-26 02:38
can't share illuminati secrets
2016-06-14 18:51
REZ | 
Sweden jackir
i'll drink to that m8
2016-06-15 22:55
i pissed to my schoolmate bottle and the limonade was yellow (orange juice) so i thought it was a nice idea :d i just wanted to do funny things whole year , i had big problems..., She was my neighbour :D , good old times :D
2016-06-14 19:05
i fucked my sister
2016-06-14 19:11
i dont see a problem here
2016-06-15 01:01
expected from favela
2016-06-15 01:08
ok no name countryer
2016-06-15 01:50
ok sweadish kid
2016-06-15 01:51
sweadish kid > echofox fan from no namer land
2016-06-15 01:51
nt swedistan kid trying to feel better about his country
2016-06-15 01:53
muslim swedistan still better being russias bitch
2016-06-15 02:24
EU or NATO isn´t russias bitch though
2016-06-15 11:05
keep calm bois
2016-06-15 14:55
WHy the fuck are u on htlv right NOW ?!! do you think I pay u 0.355959995954$/hour for doing nothing???!!!! GO BACK TO CLEAN MY TOILET :D
2016-06-15 15:10
when a frenchie trys to be funny^^^^^
2016-06-15 15:19
when a fucknig reaterd is reatarded and from franch
2016-06-16 07:07
atleast im not from murica :D
2016-06-16 14:44
sure dad
2016-06-15 15:17
but if russia gets to drunk and decides to attack Europe Estonia will get assfucked in 2 minutes
2016-06-15 17:20
And after finland and estonia get raped you will be next ;)
2016-06-15 17:22
cyka blyat
2016-06-15 17:23
2016-06-19 11:57
Joined this retarded comunity
2016-06-14 19:16
Allmost lost my left nipple during summer while swimming. Was in a pond somewhere and we we're jumping off things and I fel on a iron thingy with my chest from a few meters height. People on shore came to my rescue and brought me to the E.R. My niple was like hanging with a tiny piece on my chest.. allmost completely ripped off except for that one piece still holding on :D. Niple got 50+ stitches and it still shows to this day.. some 11 years later :P.
2016-06-14 20:13
as I was reading this I was gripping my left nipple
2016-06-15 01:03
as soon as i read nipple i gripped mine and stopped reading.
2016-06-15 02:56
as I was reading nipple I was gripping my cock
2016-06-15 18:56
when i read nipple i fucked
2016-06-16 07:09
50stitches? You sure its not your breast
2016-06-15 11:11
haha nice one
2016-06-15 11:48
Yea it's my breast.
2016-06-15 14:14
REZ | 
Sweden jackir
u a grill?
2016-06-15 22:56
Nope .. men have breast too or don't they? :d.
2016-06-16 03:11
I bet you look like you got a boob job lmao
2016-06-16 13:25
Haha. I got a scar across my left nipple from above my nipple to under my nipple. Over the years it has healed pretty good. Just above my nipple it's healed perfectly. beneath my nipple it hasn't healed perfectly but still ok. It's good to have scars on your upper body tho. Attracts women in the summer and makes them interested in what happened.
2016-06-16 14:16
upload imgur of your nipple
2016-06-15 22:51
I broke up with a girl over text. I feel like such a cunt for it. I've apologized many times to her and we remain friendly, but I still feel awful.
2016-06-14 20:20
Iraq omar^
I stepped in water with my socks on ohh the horror
2016-06-15 01:00
sounds horrible
2016-06-15 03:09
ru ok
2016-06-19 14:33
Iraq omar^
2016-06-19 14:43
is it that bad? lol
2016-06-19 18:29
Iraq omar^
try it
2016-06-19 20:00
Beated one motherfucker to coma for trying to (sort of) rape my grill. Don't regret it
2016-06-15 01:03
your right or left hand?
2016-06-15 01:07
Some dood tried to rape your right hand? Dats some weird shit for a story. : - d Gas or coal grill?
2016-06-15 11:56
I think it was one of these tiny Grills not a big Gas grill or Smoker
2016-06-15 14:55
thats some lul shit right here
2016-06-15 17:50
2016-06-16 07:10
Started playing cs
2016-06-15 01:19
Clicked on this thread.
2016-06-15 01:39
This threads are comedy gold! keep the storys coming boyz! Another fucked up thing i did: When i was like 13, wwe was booming in Portugal, so me and my friends did those shity tricks all the time for fun, after gym class, one day, we were already geting dressed, and we had this dude this vilage boy in our class, that had a femenin voice, so we kinda picked on him a lot, so i dressed up, and decided to put him on a submission move, "Walls of jherico", and as i did it, one of my friends came from the shower, and threaten to hit him in the face with his dick, and i told him go for it lmao, he did, the kid went running away from classe with his arms open like a girl. Althought i didn't actually put my own dick in his face, i feel bad for holding him for like a minute lmao
2016-06-15 01:53
You portugueses like to play with your dicks dont you? lol
2016-06-15 21:58
ask your mom
2016-06-15 22:58
ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh REKT hahahaha
2016-06-26 02:34
2016-06-26 02:59
Matted my arse hair with chewing gum, dressing up as a used sanitary towel one Halloween or stealing a bike off a tramp so I could get home faster after a night of drinking.
2016-06-15 01:55
why would u put gum in your ass? wtf
2016-06-15 01:58
I was having a shit and chewing gum, decided I'd had quite enough of the gum so unraveled some toilet paper and spat the gum into it with the intention of crumpling it up and flushing it. Suddenly.. my friend rings.. so I placed the toilet roll with the gum nestled neatly in the middle on the side while I spoke to him. The call ended and I finished my business.. on instinct I picked up the toilet paper and wiped. The worst part was I used it for the first wipe, I wasn't clean - it was a technical impossibility to fully clean myself up at this point so I jumped into the shower to rinse clean it and used my sisters nail sisters to cut the mess out.
2016-06-15 02:05
2016-06-15 02:08
please don't judge me tho but I never robbed anyone..... I know, I know....
2016-06-15 02:06
we know u didn't, u begged as usual
2016-06-15 02:24
Got the neighbor's chicken and throw fire on it's head using alcohol. I was using short arm cast. Did all this and still recorded the scene with an iPhone.
2016-06-15 02:19
Man I got a few. Let me think. Firstly, I had bird flu in China. Literally slept 10 days straight with a 30 minute break inbetween to drink a 2L bottle of orange juice. I had a fever and was sweating like fuck [it was 40 degrees in Wuhan at that time.] Anyways my friend takes me to the hospital and the woman says you need an injection. I said cool, and rolled my sleeve up. Ah no, in my ass. Er...ok I thought. Looked around and the room had no door on it and there was windows on 3 sides with people walking back and forth on the street outside. Then I realised I've worn the same shorts for ten days straight and sweated in them. At this point I was hallucinating from the flu and just took my shorts off, but as soon as I did the fucking smell filled the room. Shitty sweaty smell and it just stank of sweat. The nurse didn't even move her eyes and got the job done. And a few people smiled and waved at me as I was bent over taking this injection in my ass cheek. The other one was probably the worst. I was invited to work in Morocco for 3 months [hated it] and on the first night we went to this strange city 80 miles away because they had a club and whores. The boss drives me and we get smashed on vodka on the way there in the back with my new coworkers. We get there and I swear the clubs had a monkey smoking shisha at the entrance, and midgets as waiters. As I went in it was like Persian music [the stuff moe would listen to] and a load of prostitutes around the bar, and just loads of sofas surrounding different tables. I bought 2 beers and it was 36 euros.Anyways, my friend says 'this girl likes you!' She looked...ok. And I was like damn! So I said yeah I'll chat to her. Anyways after 4-5 hours of me not speaking French or Arabic and her not knowing English we all went to leave. My employees talked to her and gave her money and she told me she was 23. Anyways it later turns out she had a 23 year old daughter. We get to this strange Moroccan house, 5-6 guys and their 'dates' for the night. I get the top room which is just a load of blankets on the floor and no ceiling. So we get down to it, remember I just got to Morocco. And I actually fucked this Muslim prostitute up the ass whilst the 4:30am call to prayer rang out. I felt awful. I lied I was a muslim and she realised after I still had my foreskin. Oh well.
2016-06-15 02:22
nice ones
2016-06-15 11:56
nice stories lol btw u shouldnt type muslim in capital
2016-06-15 15:25
he's gonna get bombed :(
2016-06-15 15:43
oh fuck u r right fuck.
2016-06-15 15:44
China PRChina
omg bird flu
2016-06-15 21:56
France Ga5huX
Poisoned weed I sold to give bad reputation to a dealer (because she was a fucking scammer and the woman is a rapist). I probably killed one person, I don't even know.
2016-06-15 02:32
Expected from 92i
2016-06-15 11:54
my friend and i were walking in a forest at night (3am)(a woman got murdered in that forest), we heard some weird noises, saw a guy with a hoodie passing by in the forest and we started sprinting back . was spooky
2016-06-15 02:45
"most fucked up thing you ever did" -> "my friend and i were walking in a forest" wow that's so FUCKED UP!!1111
2016-06-15 11:29
hahahhahahahahhaa lmao xd top kek
2016-06-17 14:38
masturbated in my dead grandmas rocking chair
2016-06-15 02:48
granny would be proud
2016-06-15 12:41
holy fuck pls
2016-06-15 17:53
when i was rly young i got one of those cheap gumball machines from the dollar store and put a frog into it and killed it...
2016-06-15 02:55
smelled my cousin's panties she'd left in the bathroom
2016-06-15 02:58
was she hot
2016-06-15 04:11
Representing the flag.
2016-06-15 12:09
it was jokeeeeee
2016-06-15 22:43
REZ | 
Sweden jackir
bad decision
2016-06-15 23:03
Portugal Zedonp
Too late now
2016-06-16 19:21
Went into an ice cream shop when we were like 12 or 13 and the 3 of us shit all over in the bathroom, on the floor, on top of the toilet and in the sink. still can't believe we did something so retarded lol
2016-06-15 02:58
i can, because after all you're just muricans
2016-06-15 11:27
m8 you're probably a towel head that smells like a dying cow
2016-06-15 13:49
expected from a murican
2016-06-15 14:18
towel head lmao
2016-06-15 23:03
i aint wrong LOL
2016-06-15 23:10
bruh you shit on the floor of a bathroom, you aint the one to talk about hygiene lol
2016-06-16 01:43
there's a difference from something that happened like 9 years ago when you're a young kid doing stupid shit compared to now
2016-06-17 01:12
n1 i had a laugh
2016-06-15 18:14
for the moment nothing yet, i was pretty nice and quite as a kid, but i'm only 18 yo for now, i might fuck up in the future.
2016-06-15 02:59
Sweden Eking01
We wish you luck.
2016-06-15 11:39
read number of threads on hltv that i shouldn't have. This one included? kek
2016-06-15 11:04
I used to burn ants with matches or lighter. They were like "aaohh. and burnt in 1 sec"
2016-06-15 11:08
2016-06-15 11:58
2016-06-15 17:24
I was doing it too . Rofl
2016-06-16 08:18
I did this with a magnifying glass that intensified sunrays and burned those bugs alive :p
2016-06-26 03:52
forest and house fires. ez
2016-06-15 11:16
First time I switched my car's deck from winter ties to summer ties. I drove on the highway the day after and I felt something strange with my car. I stopped away from traffic. The moment I stopped I heard a sound "donk!" and one of the car ties went off and traveled across the 100 km/h drivezone in a slow pace. I was so fucking lucky nothing happened.
2016-06-15 11:18
2016-06-15 11:26
i wiped my ass with a potato
2016-06-15 11:26
not unboring
2016-06-20 07:31
after bar, i was waiting for a taxi in a line, then an asian girl appears. I saw her before at the club i was in, so i smiled at her, she smiled at me. i asked if she wanted to go to my place and she said yes, so we went. at my place we started fucking pretty fast. 5 mins goes by, and she gets up from riding. only to discover that my dick is very much red (she had a period). then i said to her that "well, since my dick is already red, why not make it brown?" and then fucked her in the ass. after i came, i decided i want to sleep and threw her off the balcony and never looked down. dunno if she died or what.
2016-06-15 11:39
Sweden Eking01
2016-06-15 11:41
I hope this is not real. wtf
2016-06-15 14:27
after i came, i decided i want to sleep and threw her off the balcony and never looked down. dunno if she died or what. gold
2016-06-15 15:28
that was just my imagination im sorry. but the rest of the story happened
2016-06-15 18:41
Nobody is going to believe if a story is half true and half fake especially when the fake part is so fuckin ridiculous.
2016-06-15 20:56
do you think i give a fuck what an eissenweissen german dog says?
2016-06-15 21:12
The troll is on roll
2016-06-20 07:33
are you sure you're aware of the term "troll" ?
2016-06-20 16:17
who said you were the troll?
2016-06-21 07:41
did i?
2016-06-21 12:52
Neither did i :) :*
2016-06-21 13:14
im laughing so hard rn
2016-06-16 07:20
seems legit, 10/10 post
2016-06-17 10:56
created account on hltw.
2016-06-15 11:58
Luxembourg alex24
read some hltv b8
2016-06-15 12:03
When I was 5 or 6 I threw a hammer at one of the neighbor's kid's head, because we played cops and robbers and they never let me play as CT. He was taken to the hospital, but he only had stitches done.
2016-06-15 12:07
"Counter Terrorists Win"
2016-06-17 10:16
Me and a couple friends pissed in an empty bag of chips and threw it at an old woman. Prob the edgiest shit i've done.
2016-06-15 12:29
fox | 
Ireland FanGuy
loled, thats so random
2016-06-15 13:20
When i was 11 and my sister was 10 we slept in the same room for a few weeks than it happened for fun i go naked to scare here or something i cant remember it exactly but she got also naked and said i shoud lick her nipples because we saw that before and she laughed while i was doing that after that i go sit naked on a chair and she is gonna sit above me but we were young and idk how to do it and than it didnt go in and me penis hurt because she just sit on it than we heard our parents and we stopped very quickly and go to bed
2016-06-15 12:33
2016-06-15 13:14
god damn Lanister, go away.
2016-06-15 14:21
fucked up shit bra
2016-06-15 17:54
we were 10 and 11 not knowing what we are doing ! :( i didnt put my penis in here soo nothing really happened you know only really close to incest but unforced !!!
2016-06-15 18:20
still... i would never do that to my sister maybe im just different xd
2016-06-15 20:55
I know its fucked up and its my parents fault for letting us sleep same bed room with puberty kicking in
2016-06-15 21:57
its your fault for being weird if you ask me LUL its normal for brothers and sisters to sleep in the same room its def not normal for them to do something strange ( at least not in the 21st century ) xd dont blame your parents for being a fucking lannister mate
2016-06-15 22:12
WEll its fucked up but yh cant change it anymore luckily i didnt actually fuck her hah hah ha haaaa hmmmmmmm traumatic shit for me
2016-06-16 07:04
she hot tho?
2016-06-26 02:29
expected from farmboy fryslân
2016-06-15 18:16
that's why it's called child safety lock
2016-06-26 02:23
i was 18,had some friends over,we were watching a movie,and downstairs neighbour called the cops, beacuse it was too noisy(wich it wasnt true,and it was like noon).He did that regularly whenever i had friends over he'd call the cops,make up something and id have to explain it to them for half an hour that i didnt do anything wrong,so one day i have had it with him,and early in the morning like really early i took a shit infront of his door,and latter when he got up to go to the store he stepped in it,i could hear him rage and shout,it was the most satisfying feeling in the world,although i still regularly piss on his flowers from my terrace and they keep drying up :D xD
2016-06-15 12:47
good one bro
2016-06-16 07:22
Saw the train coming but crossed anyway, never felt so stressed with all the air horn, the sound of the train breaking etc I could have used the tunnel but it would have taken me 30 sec and I would have missed it I missed it anyway since I ran to avoid the bill :3 Pretty retarded
2016-06-15 13:01
When I was younger (around 15 yo) I have been experiencing with explosives and smoke-bombs. I have many great stories with them, this one is about how I was cooking a smoke bomb. I have had one great recipe for a smoke-bomb that I have found on the internet, I have tried it for couple times before and it worked perfectly. Once as I was cooking this massive smoke-bomb for 4th time I have decided to spiced it up with food dye, as I have read somewhere on the internet it supposed to make the smoke colorful. Short story long, smoke-bomb unexpectedly ignited right in our kitchen (yes, I was stupid enough to cook it at our house), blast hit my face. My face was partially burned same as my eyelashes and hair. Our 2nd floor house was mesmerized by the dense smoke in a second... I saved our cat and coughing, I ran to our garden for fresh air. As a result sideboard and cooker hood had to be changed. No one was injured except my burn face. Stay out of this stuff if you dont know what are you doing. Peace
2016-06-15 13:13
pics of face now?
2016-06-15 18:19
my face is completely fine :), it wasn't as that serious
2016-06-15 20:21
Cashed falsified checks twice from a bank and stole some money too once... was on drugs and desperate with no conscience at the time, had no money for even food.
2016-06-15 13:12
Make a HLTV account.
2016-06-15 13:23
punched a girl on the head when i was 12 years old
2016-06-15 13:54
United Kingdom Bo2s
i did the same thing when i was 7 x)
2016-06-15 18:41
I fapped outisde and let a old lady watch me do it
2016-06-15 13:57
When i was in bolivia watching female midget wrestling i got high on cocaine and fucked 2 midgets but one had a dick and tits and the other was pure female but she liked to have shit rubbed all over her so i shit on her face.
2016-06-15 14:08
Seems legit
2016-06-15 18:58
Well i actually was in bolivia watching midget wrestling some years ago... the rest i will neither confirm nor deny.
2016-06-16 05:33
ahahah +1
2016-06-16 06:39
Singapore Nephalith
Terrorizing footwears of my condo residents.
2016-06-15 14:24
This is too much.... i can't really tell it.. :/
2016-06-15 14:27
You killed someone ?
2016-06-15 14:41
C'mon,you can trust us
2016-06-15 22:39
ofc why wouldn't you not trust a guy on the internet? especially on hltv?
2016-06-15 23:10
What can we do?
2016-06-16 03:10
6 year old, playground with friends, found big rock, see kid on top of slide, throw rock at him, hit his head, he passed out
2016-06-15 14:32
World madman112
are you a refugee?
2016-06-15 15:02
nah, u
2016-06-15 15:48
Best thread on hltv! 10/10
2016-06-15 14:34
lol i got arrested for impersonating a muslim on my school's facebook page everyone freaked out and called the police, i wrote "close the doors at 1"
2016-06-15 14:38
i started playing csgo after that i don't have life
2016-06-15 14:43
trying to believe pro scene doesn't cheat
2016-06-15 14:50
register on this forums
2016-06-15 14:51
Killed a cat
2016-06-15 14:52
World madman112
I wrote a thread in HLTV It was nasty, nasty.. Nasty!
2016-06-15 15:01
I was sick and 15 but my mom forced me to go to school no matter what. I hid in the bathroom and had a really bad case of diarrhea and sat there in pain and agony while people outside my stall had to ask occasionally "are you ok?". I wasnt ok but I grunted mmhm. And then for some random ass reasoning I decided to masterbate right there in the bathroom stall. To make sure I wouldnt have to clean the mess I shot the load into the toliet and sat there for the rest of the school day wondering what I have just done and smelling an awful concation of semen and liquid shit. And yes I forgot completely that flushing it was an option.
2016-06-15 15:03
what am i reading and why cant i stop laughing
2016-06-15 18:21
I haven't done anything even close to what people here have done cuz my parents told me to respect other people
2016-06-15 15:18
lol what a pussy
2016-06-15 15:31
true too
2016-06-15 23:14
CIS sergioff
wp zlatan
2016-06-16 02:24
worst thing i have done was probably throwing tomatos and eggs into another house's balconies from my balcony, or, again, from my balcony, i threw a huge ass water balloon from the 4th floor on an old lady
2016-06-16 12:07
Portugal Zedonp
i hope being a pussy gives you some cool disease
2016-06-17 16:24
allu | 
North America hesh
we used to wrap arms around this retarded chick in our neighborhood that we fed LSD and yell NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE
2016-06-15 15:28
thats fucking nasty i did the same to my grandmother and she died after rip grandma xddddd
2016-06-15 15:32
Made out with my science teacher when i was 14 and she was 25.. :D
2016-06-15 15:43
i've dropped my awp to a ruski ;(
2016-06-15 16:53
I've always been a good kid
2016-06-15 17:30
I masturbated in a classroom, oh fuck, it's not good to feel warm sperm inside your pants
2016-06-15 17:40
even worse when its visible from the outside
2016-06-15 20:34
and it's smelling.
2016-06-15 20:49
Yes, it smelled a bit, luckily nobody noticed, and it was not visible
2016-06-16 20:47
I was on a vacation in Greece and there was a forest nearby the beach. So I was playing in the forest and found matches in my pocket. I lit up a match and threw it on the ground and I quickly stomped on it so nothing happens. I was playing there for about 30 minutes and then my parents called me telling me we had to go to our hotel because it was getting dark outside. I forgot that I threw a lit match on the ground and I went to the hotel. When I woke up I heard firetrucks and there was smoke everywhere, as my parents rushed me out of the hotel. As an 8 year old, I couldn't care less, but later I realized that I burned down a forest, 2 shops, and a hotel. Nobody found out.
2016-06-15 17:56
2016-06-15 18:33
2016-06-15 20:33
Reported to police sry
2016-06-15 22:17
CIS sergioff
2016-06-16 02:26
wow dank fire bro
2016-06-17 16:42
LOL no way dude! Eight years old and already a legend :D
2016-06-19 15:50
fought and severly injured a chicken that later died from its wounds. I was in love with wwe and was like 8 year old FeelsBadMan
2016-06-15 17:56
2016-06-16 09:41
you think its funny?? im going to hell for this pretty sure
2016-06-16 17:09
when u said i was in love with wwe i nearly pissed myself
2016-06-16 17:58
2016-06-16 20:04
you fight a chicken ? XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
2016-06-17 10:22
only on chickenslam 2016
2016-06-17 16:12
When I was in prison I thought it was cool to wear your pants lower than you underpants. Im in a wheelchair now.
2016-06-15 18:00
2016-06-16 07:31
vry srs
2016-06-19 12:31
Had a relationship with a beautiful girl named Rusti who was a year below me from year 10 until yr 12 without having sex even once,when we were both virgins. Even tho we did other sexual things & such,there was private reasons why losing her virginity scared her,much like other girls.So i stayed with her for 2 years because i absolutely fucking loved her & we were a great couple. (Because for all you preb kids out here,There is more to a relationship than just fucking) Even while this was happening i was getting heaps of interest from other girls. Then a couple months after we split she fucked a guy 3 years older than her which i knew.Not a friend,but i knew him. yeee got fucked over pretty hard with that one ay Boys, now 18 years old & still have my virginity. Even miss her to this day, Life's a cunt.
2016-06-15 18:26
dayum, this calls for revenge br0, like bang her mom or something
2016-06-15 18:24
usual bitch behaviour, happens to millions. get friendzoned. If you are kind they gonna abuse you.
2016-06-15 19:49
Wasn't friend zoned at all. You really have to know of it to be able to understand. And that's not information i'm going to put on the internet so sry bro.
2016-06-15 19:53
COCK TOO BIG?? Kind of friend zoned you though or at least, excluded you from having sex, which is quite...the same :/ IN THE doesn't even matter! ;) heads up, there are plenty of those. and for some reasons, every time it's gonna be that "very special person" we are talking about...
2016-06-15 19:58
Lmao thats funny because we actually did try it once and she was to tight. Trust,i wasn't friendzoned man hahah,we did everthing else but sex. I'm not an ugly guy,i could have already had sex many times by now but i can't convince myself to let go what happened.It also makes it exceptionally harder when she still comes around to catch up sometimes and claims she misses me. Really contemplating if it's worth giving it another shot,and if its worth living with that if we stayed together. And i really think it is worth it,i'll regret it until my death if i don't. That's how unique and great this girl is.
2016-06-15 20:13
she is only unique and great in your mind. if she would be that great, she would have gave herself to you, someone special - instead she chose some random but more experienced guy and fuck you over. that's pretty fucked up if you ask me. bang her though? yes. forgive and forget? never.
2016-06-15 21:59
if there is a next time have lube ready ;)
2016-06-16 03:58
You are still young and will highly likely meet more very special girls that you fall in love with. The only thing this girl will be then, is the first one :)
2016-06-28 22:31
I crossed the border with Poorland.
2016-06-15 18:21
Macau Lass3YAOW
Made an account on HLTV...
2016-06-15 18:22
Germany GeoRg___J
lost over 1000€ on skins
2016-06-15 18:26
he wouldn't be dead
2016-06-15 18:32
scammed a guy on ebay feels so bad now...
2016-06-15 18:36
what kind of scam?
2016-06-15 18:52
sold ge account, then accidentally refreshed the offer then someone else bought it and i was like ok
2016-06-15 18:53
you will never feel good again, that's what you deserve.
2016-06-18 12:19
i know man, i think i'm going to find some money for the dude
2016-06-18 13:32
Europe smasherrr
I ate a snake, a fucking snake
2016-06-15 18:39
did it taste good atleast?
2016-06-16 02:00
Europe smasherrr
no ,it was the worst thing i have ever eaten, I dont even know why we ate that. We had food in our bags
2016-06-16 09:42
showed my flag in the mainland
2016-06-15 18:43
China PRChina
fake that's not a big deal
2016-06-15 21:59
Norway Noreg
killed myself
2016-06-15 18:46
I voted for Donald Trump.
2016-06-15 19:06
fucked my mom on cocaine while drunk while my sister was watching
2016-06-15 19:55
not funny
2016-06-19 12:34
2016-06-26 04:43
On the 4th of July me and my cousin put a frog in a cup and put a purple smoke grenade in there with it and it turned purple and we left it in the grass and the next morning it was still there
2016-06-15 19:59
Australia Tails
accepted the terms and conditions without reading them.
2016-06-15 20:24
Poland aleks2805
faped on balcony tho like 10+ ppl saw xd
2016-06-15 20:28
i played around with a canister of fuel and then had the idea to light it up because i've seen it on tv. was pretty intense flame instantly and i ran away. luckily it didnt explode and my neighbor was able to kill the flames with a wet towel. unfortunately i always did stupid things like that and they knew it was me this time too.
2016-06-15 20:29
Flying a commercial airliner into a building.
2016-06-15 20:42
How are you alive?
2016-06-15 20:48
Shhhh.... You know too much....
2016-06-15 23:42
i agree
2016-06-15 20:48
betted on VP
2016-06-15 20:43
I pissed on me at 13 years old .It was a tough winter And i killed a chicken while laughing like a maniac
2016-06-15 21:38
created account on hltv
2016-06-15 21:58
China PRChina
after reading this topic I realize Sweden is a terrible country with freaking kids like Australia maybe need more muslim there
2016-06-15 22:02
2016-06-15 22:58
I was like 9 maybe 10 and me with my sick crew were going on lunch. We had lunch in other building that the school was at, and it was really snowing heavily back then. Buses had troubles going on such a snow. We hid behind a big pillar - 1 guy was IGL and he scouted incoming buses, me and other 4 were hid behind the pillar with giant snowballs ready. our scout spotted incoming bus. As it was coming next to the pillar, we all threw snowballs at drivers window at the same time. The driver panicked and almost crashed the bus.The bus nearly crashed, made 4 trams stop for a long time, and few cars also. The driver and some his friend jumped out of the bus and started chasing us. We went full sonik- running like a usain bolt and meanwhile throwing snowballs to slow him down. After a quite a long chase he gave up and called the cops. We had no troubles 9/10 would try it too
2016-06-15 22:25
I bet on iBP vs NETCODE Guides :((((((((((((((((((((
2016-06-15 22:34
Germany GeoRg___J
how much?
2016-06-16 07:35
did u rly?
2016-06-16 07:36
180$ on my main account and 75$ on my other [*]
2016-06-16 19:11
Yeah, that's 4 asiimov's I'll never see, last bet I ever made on the US scum
2016-06-18 12:11
5am after Party McDonalds, told off Duty Police Detective i destroy every Cop 1on1 for no real reason, 5 min later all of the cities Club Bouncers stormed McDonalds and kicked us Out Yeah, pretty stupid but funny memory
2016-06-15 22:35
2016-06-26 02:20
When I was 8 me and my friends played tag in the dark in a friend's room, I accidentally destroyed his bed and as soon as we turned the lights back on I pissed off. When I was fifteen I felt like a cool kid because I illegally climbed up cranes, radio towers and shit like that, then once at a party I had the glorious idea to hang of a 20m crane after having drunk 5 beers. Luckily I survived but looking back at it, it was really fucking stupid.
2016-06-15 22:36
Killed a cat and then buried it.
2016-06-15 22:43
2016-06-15 22:52
u actually ate cat
2016-06-15 22:53
Im from Turkey not China :D
2016-06-15 23:12
psychopath in the making
2016-06-16 02:08
I agree that was fucked up
2016-06-16 12:26
Switzerland texo
i gave some crystal meth to my grandfathers beer
2016-06-15 22:44
i taken shit to the bath, when i was totally drunk XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD i dont remember this :D mom told me at moring that i should check what i left in bath
2016-06-15 22:49
gamble too much. PS: skinlore .top 10$ free code:kryp
2016-06-15 22:51
Signing up to this site.
2016-06-15 22:57
When I trick my gf into delivering a briefcase to a supposed business contact, the once-carefree student that I knew was abducted by thugs who intend to turn her into a drug mule. She is surgically implanted with a package containing a powerful chemical, but it leaks into her system, giving her superhuman abilities, including telekinesis and telepathy. With her former captors in pursuit, my gf seeks out a neurologist, who she hopes will be able to help her. TLDR: Gave my gf superhuman abilities and fcked up her life
2016-06-15 23:06
nt lucy
2016-06-16 07:38
Stole 8 prepaid phone cards right in front of the cashier with a buddy of mine... to abuse a bug in a free2play FPS which allowed you to deposit 40€ with fake data for free :D
2016-06-15 23:07
Played with a ball with some friends when I was like 8yo, friends left and I was alone, sitting on the ball, waiting for someone else to go out and play with me but noone came [kids would usually come and go at random time], I got bored and suddenly wanted to take a shit really really bad, so I just pulled my pants down and started shitting without realizing I was shitting on the ball, even worse it was half liquid half hard. Obviously I no longer wanted to have that ball so I carefully picked it up and threw it inside the window of my neighbour. The next day, he was so mad he literally had that ball in his hands and walked to everysingle neighbour, showed them the ball and asked wether they know who did it. And then, the same day, on the evening he came to our house with the ball, mom opened the door, called me and that cunt neighbour said that some kid saw me throwing the ball inside, my mom was so mad at me and told me to apologize 10times, it was so annoying and embarassing I was so mad at that cunt. Next morning I went outside, shat and pissed on a cardboard and threw it in once again. He soon came to our door and I was done for. Literally everyone shouted at me so hard. We moved to a different house a week after. Basically we moved because of my 2 shits.
2016-06-15 23:16
Oh, God, it's so stupid but so hilarious xD
2016-06-16 21:04
lol wtf is this story.
2016-10-28 17:45
I downloaded a car and 8gb ram from the internet
2016-06-15 23:33
Sweden cute!
sex with sister
2016-06-15 23:41
vid or b8
2016-06-16 01:58
When i was 7 yo, i accidentally burned the gym down. they had to pump water from a little pond. the whole village smelled like fish..
2016-06-16 01:20
2016-06-16 01:21
I sometimes cum on cups and glasses in my house and then just wash them so my family drinks on them
2016-06-16 01:28
pls no...
2016-06-16 20:06
I hope it's not real.
2016-06-19 12:41
Chased my friend around until he smashed his face into a pole. I lol'd. =D
2016-06-16 01:54
I let my sister find my fleshlight on purpose
2016-06-16 03:17
dude what
2016-07-24 18:20
cheated on my gf, never could find anyone like her since then, only hoes now...
2016-06-16 04:12
Thats Karma
2016-06-16 10:13
fuk u
2016-06-16 19:01
I live in small village in Poland, when i was like 10yo i was very afraid of cocks, there were like 5, and 4 were friendly in the farm. 5th one was allways agro to me and i was scared of going outsite alone bcuz of him, but 1 day i did it.I went out solo and this motherfucker attacked me as usually so i picked up stick which was nearby and punched this bitch like 4 times in the head ... well i killed him xd I was afraid of my uncle being mad at me bcuz of what ive just did so i burned him to hide the evidence (my granda was burning some trash that day so i just threw him into that fire) XD Just another day in a life of polish 10yo XD
2016-06-16 06:14
Another fucked up thing that happend to me! (not what i did but actualy happend) My parents used to watch a lot of horror films when i was young (they still do) but they never allowed me to so i usualy pretended to fall asleep when they were watching (obviously i didnt sleep), or watch through the key hole of doors. So most of the videos werent scarry, but when it was about religion stuff (demon possesions, omen etc) i was allways shitting myself. One day they were watching Omen video. It scared me so much. I came to my mum and asked her if Omen actualy exits, she said like "Idk but im sure that good ppl shouldnt worry about him". Well i didnt believe into that bullshit ! I decided to find out by myself in the most impossible way ever ! I went to the parter (family sleep on the 1st floor) and said in my mind (it was 23:00) that "If Omen and evil forces exit than the light will tourn on in next 5 seconds" And so i counted in my mind 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 4 .. [lights off]...i was so scared, ran to my parents bad, went between them and tried to forget about what happend :) These are the 2 that happend to me xd Just letting You know ... it was coincidence, electricity was so poorly made back than that when my uncle was using some agricultural machinery we were getting power off in the house ... still kinda interesting
2016-06-16 06:17
i am also vry afraid of cocks
2016-06-16 19:35
I didn't stop laughing when I readed that :')
2016-06-18 05:48
but You get that i mean COCK AS THE ALPHA CHICKEN RIGHT ?
2016-06-26 04:33
Finland Yuugi
I live in small village in Poland, when i was like 10yo i was very afraid of cocks, there were like 5, and 4 were friendly in the farm. 5th one was allways agro to me and i was scared of going outsite alone bcuz of him, but 1 day i did it.I went out solo and this motherfucker attacked me as usually so i picked up stick which was nearby and punched this bitch like 4 times in the head ... well i killed him xd I was afraid of my uncle being mad at me bcuz of what ive just did so i burned him to hide the evidence (my granda was burning some trash that day so i just threw him into that fire) XD Just another day in a life of polish 10yo XD
2016-06-26 01:13
Picked up a mini hotdog off the floor and put it in my friends water, and he choked on it.
2016-06-16 06:17
can't talk about it, don't want to get in trouble =p
2016-06-16 06:31
burned down my table at our school's chemistry labo ; it was our torch that was still on fire and i stupidly put it on the table instead of turning it off /facepalm (i got kicked from that school due to this and had to search for a new one half through the year)
2016-06-16 07:09
one day as stupid 8 yo americano i was just walking around my neighborhood and i see this moderately sized dog, it seemed nice so i picked him up and brought it to friends house, eventually stray dog got rly mad at friend cuz we were playing rough with him and bit my friend, the dog had rabies and my friend ended up dying, this story was all made up because nothing interesting happens to millenials cuz we sit at home all day and do nothing, hope u liked the story tho <3
2016-06-16 07:47
wtf is a millenial sounds like some shit from some weeb anime
2016-06-26 04:35
I thought I was about to hear sum good shit and feel a little better about myself, and all I get is stories about pranks and accidents. I feel even more estranged now.
2016-06-16 07:59
Where did you bury him?
2016-06-19 12:44
it doesnt count, you didn't do it...
2016-06-16 08:02
Thaught that USA as a country had logic.
2016-06-16 08:17
Pissed on a public pool when I was 5 .
2016-06-16 08:22
finally, i'm not alone :D
2016-06-16 17:38
classic goatys
2016-06-26 02:16
wow i actually scrolled down to the bottom
2016-06-16 12:18
2016-06-19 12:14
Took a shit in a public swimmingpools garbage can :DDDDDDD Was 12 back then (y)
2016-06-16 12:19
Israel ZiinTotH
I throwed rocks at cars when they did not stop to let me pass at the crosswalk . I accidently threw scizzors in the middle of the class(dunno even why) and the shit landed on some dude's head and he was bleeding like hell , nobody knew who it was . Me and a bunch of other friends did something stupid I don't even recall it , but when we got caught I immediately denied my part and all of my friends got punished except for me. I provoked a disabled dude to fight me, and then proceeding to wreck him. I had a teacher in grade school which really liked me since I was smart and quiet and w/e , at the ending ceremony she tried to approach me, I didn't even handshaked her. I once decided I no longer liked some dude , so I straight out ignored him for like 3-4 months and made all my friends do the same , his crying and beggings didn't help him until I was satisfied enough.
2016-06-16 12:47
you are evil
2016-06-16 18:47
Israel ZiinTotH
I know , looking at my past I thought I was good but damn I just hate what I was back then
2016-06-16 19:16
expected from israel
2016-06-16 18:59
Israel ZiinTotH
nt Erdogan
2016-06-16 19:17
you wanna tell me that you have changed? nice try little satan
2016-06-19 14:16
Israel ZiinTotH
The keyword is "little" . I have changed but I'm in no way a great person
2016-06-19 14:17
Italy Growl
damn you sound like the biggest dickhead. Wish i will never encounter you
2016-06-19 20:55
Israel ZiinTotH
Thanks, I hate my younger-self too ...
2016-06-20 10:53
stole a pack of wotsits from the supermarket when I was like 8 or something
2016-06-16 15:12
wotsits are fucking worth it.
2016-06-26 04:37
they were the shit at the time. still don't know how the security scanners didn't see that I'd stolen a pack of wotsits though haha
2016-06-26 10:42
ate 2g of mj when I saw police car that was fuckin cab
2016-06-16 17:40
2016-06-16 18:33
2016-06-16 18:35
i started matkrig in bamba
2016-06-16 18:35
went to reddit
2016-06-16 18:39
i fuked meyself
2016-06-16 19:00
Jerked off in a forest Was alone and bored so :/
2016-06-16 19:22
Well its not fucked up but its super weird.. I saved a girl that lived on the same street as me when i was Young. We were at the local lake and she was older then i was Think she was like 12 and i was 7 or so, anyway she got her hair stuck under the bridge we were playing under and she almost drowned if it were not for me janking her hair loose. About 1 month later i got a new bike and thought it would be a great idea to ride it down the biggest asphalt hill in the neighbourhood and crash into a car cracking my skull.. According to my mom, that girl i saved from drowning also saved me by finding me Before i bled out.. Kinda fucked up aint it? if i didnt save her i would be dead too..
2016-06-16 19:45
Wow, what a coincidence Great Story
2016-06-16 21:24
You should've fucked her some years later.
2016-06-17 14:12
2016-06-18 16:49
lul if its real then gj xd happy u alive didnt wanna feed the troll
2016-06-26 00:48
my and my friend showed our asses to some kids in a window and their mom came out screaming and chasing us but we were 2 fast 4 her and got away.
2016-06-16 21:21
Omg haha :D how old were you?
2016-06-17 08:56
like 9 or something lol, the kids in the windows was like 3 or 4 years old lelelelle
2016-06-17 16:18
Australia Dweg
Had a bet that I could lick a bar of soap, put it in my mouth choked and accidentally swallowed the soap. Next day I was shitting soap and bubbles.
2016-06-17 09:11
wtf did I just read
2016-06-21 16:44
2016-06-26 02:13
Australia Dweg
Legit thou, The bar of soap was pretty small but it is a day that I will always remember.
2016-06-26 09:58
Russia baryga007
Peeing in waterpistol and then shooting my friends with it. ples don't tell anyone.
2016-06-17 10:38
Winner! lmfao
2016-06-26 20:37
someone buy my cheap skin please
2016-06-17 14:15
Iceland _natas_
I licked a girl after my friend had fucked her, but i didn't know about it until it was to late. She was sucking my cock in the bathroom so i was gonna be nice back, then my friend told me he just fucked her :(
2016-06-17 14:57
Like a moment ago?
2016-06-18 04:57
threw my friend a pack of cigarettes while he was on his balcony but they landed in the gutter. didnt wanna buy him new ones so i went onto his roof to get them back. needless to say i almost fell down but it was kinda fun nonetheless :D
2016-06-17 16:44
WOW So edgy, you are very brave for telling your story, that's like the time i bought the wrong medicine for my girlfriend but luckily i felt bad and went back and changed it.
2016-06-18 12:53
lol come on bro i know its nothing special but its the most recent thing i could remember
2016-06-18 13:49
I thought so, you must try harder. We both know there is something you have done a lot worse.
2016-06-18 14:15
haha yea tnx for reminding me lol one time me and a friend dragged a big fallen tree over the road (we had time to do it cause it was like 2am and very few cars on the road) and then we hid and waited for someone to come and it ended up being an ambulance, he came with a lot of speed and when he hit the tree it made such a bang noise it was amazing. then the guy gets outta the ambulance and starts swearing and shit lol.. he then went and draghed the tree off the road. goddamn i miss these days edit: the front part of the ambulance car was rekt lol
2016-06-18 14:50
Nice, reported to police and given your details. Now you must pay for your crimes, much better story though.
2016-06-18 14:56
haha lucky for me this happened like 5 years ago so its probably been forgotten by now :D
2016-06-18 16:17
When I was 4 I went to McDonald for the first time in NYC and it was one of the large ones with 3 floors. My father went on line to get the food while I sat down on a table nearby waiting for him. Then a saw a kid who had a Gameboy and was playing Pokemon Green and I immediately went over and sat next to him. I was with him for about 10 minutes or so but when the kid left I realized I was lost and tried to look for my dad and screaming his name. Then an old lady tried to pick me up and ended up slapping her in the face and she got mad and walked the other way. My father came and told me that he was right across the restaurant and I felt better. 10/10 no regrets slapping that old lady.
2016-06-18 05:07
lmao xD
2016-06-18 05:29
United Kingdom tomtmh
bitch got rekt
2016-06-18 16:43
I threw my dog from a +2 meters wall for pure morbodity (I was 4 or 5 ages old), she had 2 legs broken. I other situation (dont remember age, maybe 8-9) I threw a frisbee in front of a passing car, my friend's dog was hit in the face, but the car slowed down wen the woman saw the dog going to her, so the hit was not hard Now that I look back I thing I was a quite sick kid, I love animals now and even respect incects lifes. I was very racist too, in a innocent way, probably because tv
2016-06-18 05:37
I can't write post, so i'll write my story in reply. When i was 9 y.o. i had oral sex with another kid and i pissed in his mouth. I gave him toy for that. He told his mom later about that. His mom said about that to my sister. U can't imagine how i feel bad after that :D That was most retarded thing. Atleast i'm not a gay now, i'm 20) Sry for my english)
2016-06-18 05:46
2016-06-18 05:36
What the fuck is wrong with you brother ????
2016-06-18 16:46
i couldnt stop laughing during my grandmothers funeral, it was uncontrollable.
2016-06-18 05:50
loool did the same when my dog was about to be euthanasied. and so did my brother. i felt bad at the moment, but it's just nervous breakdown :)
2016-06-18 12:13
You must have more than 25 replies in existing threads or newsposts before you can post new threads. We apologize for the inconvenience, but new users signing up is responsible for most of our spam. Does this mean people have to reply to me, or do I need to reply to other people.
2016-06-18 07:45
You need to kys and then you can post.
2016-06-18 12:52
People need to reply to you
2016-06-19 21:15
Touched my penis with my female second cousin's vagina when we were 3-4-5.
2016-06-18 12:06
well i don't think it's fucked up when you're that young, just curiosity
2016-06-18 12:12
Yeah, whenever I think about it I tell myself that we were kids.. But once, I ran across the street and would have died if my uncle hadn't jump in front of a car to save me. after 20 years, he still has a metal plate in his arm.
2016-06-18 12:16
LOL +1 good ending
2016-06-20 08:44
I believed flusha never cheated KAPPA
2016-06-18 12:23
oh lol, i'm calling the cops on you
2016-06-18 16:45
When i was a little kid (5-6 y.o.) I ran around in our garden playing, minding my own business. All of a sudden i spotted a small bird in the corner of our garden, just sitting in the grass. I decided to see if i could "catch" the bird. I expected it to fly away when approaching it, but it didn't so I jumped on it (feet first) with full force and almost killed it. I was SO surprised it didn't fly away so I just ran inside and pretended it never happened. I felt so bad for that poor little bird. It was suffering and crying :( I realized it was probably injured beforehand since it didn't fly away. :/ About a week later I overheard a conversation my mum had with our neighbor three houses away, she was extremely upset that her pet bird was missing and basically told my mum to look out for it. I then knew what i had done... So i pulled myself together, went out to the corner of the garden, picked up the dead bird body and threw it straight in the trash can to clear the evidence... I was such a bad kid xd
2016-06-18 12:46
Teased a monkey at my local zoo with a banana and then spat on him, i felt bad after. I think its name was fallen or something like that.
2016-06-18 12:51
you are really bad person you know....this isn't even funny.
2016-06-18 13:09
nt fallen
2016-06-18 13:37
you madafaka
2016-06-30 05:34
Bought a Fanta by mistake when I was supposed to buy a Coca Cola can, so I poured it out in the sink. ikr.
2016-06-18 12:55
fucked random girl from croatia in tent right next to my best friend:D
2016-06-18 13:12
That's the WORSE thing you have ever done, that's not even bad, you should have got him to join in.
2016-06-18 14:58
He probaly had crabs for a month after and is dying of aids cause she a hoe
2016-06-19 21:13
Burned my freind with 3degree, Shot my same freind with a 22c in the leg. Fought 3 cops at once, 3 months in jail. And I fucking managed to crash a brand new bmw m3 in 2009 with 4 girls in it, 70km/h. All this stupid things was while being influenced on Xanax, valium, Whiskey and a few opiates. Oh, lord.. I have grown up :) Gives me chills thinking of it, could have ended deadly :/
2016-06-18 16:42
and still your on hltv, hilarious
2016-06-20 09:00
haha yeah #Guccifree now & more laidback luke. Hltv saved me, kekzi
2016-06-21 22:36
Australia Dubzayy
When i was five years old, I was throwing sticks on the road for whatever reason while i was waiting for my friends mother to come outside and take us to the shops. As i threw one of the sticks a car came speeding past and the stick i threw went directly into his window and nearly caused a car accident. He got out of his car and started screaming at me and i said "ok". Oh and when i was 9 years old, me and my neighbor played a game called "feral truth or dare" and she dared me to show her my dick, so i did and then she showed me her puss. We did this a couple times and her mum eventually saw my little dick. Good times.
2016-06-18 16:58
Poland hillock
I fell in love with a girl, got friendzoned. Now I've fallen again :')
2016-06-18 23:30
Germany pascalvdl
2016-06-19 10:56
worst thing ever
2016-06-26 03:38
u did it boy. gz feggit
2016-06-26 04:30
Other *Mip*
2016-06-26 04:45
same but i thought it was just a crush and left it, then moved schools like 2 years later idk why but somehow i fell in love with her and started to contact her, only to find out that she liked me back then too, but since i didnt say shit for ages she moved on and is with someone now and doesnt feel shit for me anymore i couldnt stop thinking about her and tried to talk as much as possible without being too creepy but somehow ended up getting friendzoned the odds for that to happen in that order and at that timing is so fucked up lmao
2016-06-26 04:51
Norway namsayin
Christmas eve. 15 y\o got a new phone from my parents. The first thing i did after packing it up and getting it started i sent an sms to my girlfriend and dumped her with ending "wish you a merry christmas". That one i do regret, because it was a very low thing to do.
2016-06-19 11:13
lol dat ending
2016-06-19 14:05
Savage, thanks for the laughs. xD xD
2016-06-19 14:44
I once was a fan of Immortals, but then I saw ESL One Cologne 2016 qualifiers.
2016-06-19 11:35
ahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahgahahahahahahahahahahahhaha +1
2016-06-19 11:48
Dominican Republic asdawda
2016-06-19 11:48
plz polish i not speak london
2016-06-19 11:49
Was on a camping trip in Sweden with my family and my gf when I was 16 or so.. At night we decided to go for a walk because of beautiful northern lights. I told her that we should have sex outside, to try something new. She agreed, but we couldn't find any "safe" location, so we broke in to a little cabin that belonged to the camping place, and had sex in the bed there. We did not have condoms and she was not on the pill. So I just came in the bed. Good memories. Still together though, 6 years later. I guess the next guests in that cabin were happy rubbing themselves in my cum.
2016-06-19 11:56
+1 good laugh
2016-06-19 21:10
Brazil hugoooo
Why she didn't swallow?
2016-06-26 04:33
i remember many things but one i remember so good was that i were throwing rocks with my friend. just passing rocks by hand in long distance and then accidentally i throw this big fucking rock (size of ice hockey puck) to his eye. from long distance it sounded like that he were laughing so fucking hard so i started to laugh too, then i came closer to him and he were actually crying so fucking hard that whole neighborhood heard it. for 3 months he had very big black eye (left eye if i remember) and he told to his friend on school that he got beated up hard but sametime he almost killed the guy who made it (talking about me lol) good times
2016-06-19 12:09
I was stoned and just finished watching the latest episode of one piece.I decided to find another anime series to watch so I went on to some forums and people kept repeating boku no pico. I searched it up but since I was too stoned, all I saw was semi-hentai so I thought it must be similar to high school of the dead. While watching it I was pretty horny so I decided to masturbate. before too long I came not realizing the main character was under the age of 18 and had a dick. GGWP.
2016-06-19 12:10
hahahhahaha gold
2016-06-26 02:07
2016-06-26 03:37
Germany EDWR
2016-06-27 05:20
Banged my girl-bestfriend while my other best friend was playing PC next to us
2016-06-19 12:12
in the toilet?
2016-06-19 20:06
+1 LOL I did same, I felt ashamed af when I was leaving
2016-06-21 16:29
removed some ribs, so i can suck my dick.
2016-06-19 12:59
I once tried to suck my own dick
2016-06-19 14:10
took acid, thought my stomach had swollen crazy much, so i went to the doctor and told him my stomach was getting bigger. Quickly realized that it wasnt, and just left again with a weird short conversation with him, when i got back to my friends house, he hadnt even realised i had been gone for 2 hours. Was pretty fucking weird, still love LSD tho. signup and bet on fanobet through this link fanobet. com/r/registration_page
2016-06-19 14:16
2016-06-19 14:28
Tried to argue with Thooorin, he still believes he is smart because he replies to retarded reddit comments.
2016-06-19 14:59
nt no flaggot
2016-06-19 18:28
nt fakeflagger
2016-06-19 20:46
oh shit, u got me
2016-06-19 21:13
Ez for ENCE
2016-06-19 21:58
Nice try FBI.
2016-06-19 18:28
I started betting with 100 bucks on a jackpot made it up to 600 bought my friend a 100$ knife then lost all of the 500 I had left and then my friend bet his knife and he lost it too so now I have no skins left ; (
2016-06-19 21:07
na brain
2016-06-20 07:57
Stfu you would never be able to get 100$ to start with anyways
2016-06-20 16:15
Me and my friend were playing in the sandpit at school, it was a pretty big one. I was using a shovel for digging, obviously. But I wanted to put the sand in the Bucket which my friend was playing with. He refused to give me the Bucket so logically, I hit him on the top of his head with the shovel. The hit knocked him out and left him with a concussion. We are still friends.
2016-06-20 08:38
My friend found a glitch on hes bank account, he was able to transfer money to skrill while bank balance stayed the same. so we transfared money to steam for 3 days,(then it got fixed orsmt).. everyday a max stack, dont remember if it was 600 or 1000 back then.. afterwards we felt guilty and thought were really fucked now. But still nothing has happened, it was like 2 years ago. pretty sick tho
2016-06-20 08:58
cya in Jail m8
2016-06-21 16:36
probably not, it was 2 years ago.. if they wanted us to go down.. it wouldve happened in a day.
2016-06-21 17:05
tracked down your ip and adress. reported you to police of talinn and bigbank.
2016-06-26 02:05
ggwp jail
2016-06-21 16:41
damn so many interesting stories, i wish i could read all.
2016-06-20 16:27
Climbed airplane. Get this thread to 1000 comments!!
2016-06-20 16:28
fucked one of my best friends girlfriend, don't blame me she was hot as fuck
2016-06-20 16:35
tried putting my dog sucking his own dick dunno why thats why its fucked up
2016-06-21 02:52
Fucked my best friends girlfriend Which was my sister........
2016-06-21 07:47
2016-06-21 16:33
expected from redneck
2016-06-21 16:43
I banged my gf on the bed when my other friend was playing ranked on Dota2
2016-06-21 16:31
2016-06-21 16:34
asked my fiance to fuck another guy in front of me probably will happen soon...
2016-06-21 16:35
LOL what the fuck
2016-06-21 16:42
w/e i trust her and I think it's hot swinglifestyle
2016-06-21 16:45
why not just a simple 3some? dude wtf
2016-06-21 18:49
found the swede!!!!!!!!
2016-10-28 18:14
So yeah my history is the most fucked up I think When I was like 11 I went to Poland on vacation to met my family. My cousin had this thing which Polish police is using to stop a cars (It was looking like that: And we were stopping cars in the night like cops do. After 10 cars stopped there was 1 car driving slowly and suddenly it stopped IT WAS A FUCKING POLICE CAR! We were running as fast as we can and the police started to chasing us, but we fortunately lost them. YEAH XD
2016-06-21 16:55
11 yr old running for the cops and successfully getting away? wtf
2016-06-21 18:51
Australia kTw0
Trust a muslim
2016-06-21 17:06
joining hltv
2016-06-21 17:52
Climbed a tree and threw eggs into buses during the rush time. I was 8 and it was funny at the time. Feels ridiculous now.
2016-06-26 00:57
2 stories 1) in elementary school(I'm americano) there was this black kid that played Pokémon just like I did at the time. We came up with the idea to arrange a time where we would meet up and play a match 1v1. I went and that cunt never showed up. My little self was so mad the only revenge I could think of was taking my holographic Pinsir Pokémon and fucking rubbing my sweaty prepubescent balls all over that thing. I Shoved it in my bookbag that night to give it to him the next day and oh boy the look on his face when he got that card from me was pure content, but in the back of my head I knew what I did and held back my laughter meanwhile he was touching and examining it so closely. 2) also as a kid, was chilling in friends backyard. We were board and he had an old matress thrown out beside his fence. Since it gave some nice cushioning we thought it'd be a good idea to jump of the fence onto it, after a couple times (since his fence was old) A NAIL FUCKING SLICED THROUGH MY LEG. I ran across the street back to my grandmas house where they were all panicking wondering what to do with me. Ended up getting 11 stiches and a wicked big scar above my knee which im looking at rn
2016-06-26 01:16
I got to late to the thread
2016-06-26 01:51
you still made it in time no worries
2016-06-26 13:10
The most fucked up thing was probably letting refugees in my country.
2016-06-26 02:17
Every time i masterbait after i cum i keep watching the porn and think what the fuck am i watching
2016-06-26 02:23
Ik that feel
2016-06-26 04:19
y same it feels so unsatisfying after you're done lmao also a tip if you feel the same way as me: listen to music after, for some fucking reason its sounds like 500x better
2016-06-26 05:02
that's the first thing i do when i'm done ahahahah i close the porn tab as fast as i can and turn the music on
2016-07-22 16:01
i fucked my moms milf friend yea.. she was hot but it's not like in porn movies.. i wouldnt do that now
2016-06-26 02:24
One of my best friend did that too. he fucked his mom friend and she was a squirter apparently lul. He said it was very intense sexe tbh.
2016-06-26 07:59
Other *Mip*
TO 1000 WE GO
2016-06-26 03:04
My friend was desperate to lose his virginity seeing as everyone else in our friend group had already lost theirs, so I asked my sister to have sex with him. She agreed and now they are married.
2016-06-26 03:22
China PRChina
so he is your brotherinlaw now
2016-06-26 09:44
betting on ibp
2016-06-26 03:29
I will not write it here... its too weird lol
2016-06-26 03:37
then why fucking post on the thread???????????
2016-06-26 03:41
Argentina EnvyJ
I got drunk and broke some windows
2016-06-26 04:13
2 moar boyz
2016-06-26 04:29
Norway namsayin
ok this is long- me and my friend was out doing nothing (14 y/o). it was a working station at the junior high were we went to school. they worked to renew the whole school for alot of money. we went to the school 11 pm. and went to a working "bracket". Inside it was a key hanging on the wall. We both tought it was an universial key to the whole school. And my friend picked up a rock and throwed it at the window. We got the key and tested it at the school door. It worked to the outdoor. We went in. we tested the key to the teachers office. And got in. We took all the money from every class savings for their vacation. We got in to the principal office. it was a safe there and we found the key and took all his stuff. it was a video cam, a gold watch and some personal stuff there so we filmed the whole event. we went out and to another school (primary school) went by the roof and inside right into the teachers office and found alot of money and another safe at that school principal safe. got out. we went to our school every night for two weeks (this was our last year at junior high and got like a month left) so we changed our grades to be straight A students right away at our teachers office at the comp and printed it out (we were both failing almost every class from before, and never went to any class the last year). the last night the alarm went off when we was there. it had been there all the time, but suddenly went off and we ran away outside. next day at school ppl was shocked and told us it was a burglary last night there. we acting with it for some days. they changed all the doors at the school. it went 2 more weeks and my friends parents found the whole tape and whatched all the things we did and broke the tape and gave the key we got to the principle and told him it was us. he reported us to the police. we agreed to not talk and admit to the police in forhand. when it went down at the police station we sat in our own room with our parents for 4 hours straight denying. they told us they got finger prints and evidence of all we did and the their dogs hunting us up 2 min after the alarm went of and they knew where we was heading, but could not understand why they we didn't get caught, but their dogs went the way we come from and not were we ran away. after 4 hours getting flame we both gave up and told them. and they would not quit they wanted more names. because what we did was not planned by teenagers and was "professional" planned out. since they did not get any clues for almost a month. we did this without thinking, but we got a ticket for all doors and lockers for the whole school at the price of 10k$ that we had to pay, but with our underage lifes we could not get that punishment. so it faded out with the law. they did not find out that we changed our grade and got in to the primary school and we went off free 14 y/o with about 15k$ to split and straight A students (got in to everything we searched for). i feel bad for the vacations we broke for about 10 classes. so when i think back it was a fucked up month. but a good story.
2016-06-26 04:39
2016-06-26 13:13
I've had a wank in class 3 times now lmao
2016-06-26 04:34
Brazil hugoooo
I will never tell anyone. Ever.
2016-06-26 04:37
United States jub672
pissed in my sisters pillow, scank never saw it cuming
2016-06-26 04:40
I gave my friend a condom that had a hole in it and you can probably guess what happend next
2016-06-26 04:56
he got cancer after fucking a horse and his testicles grew to the size of watermelons
2016-06-26 05:05
When I was like 10-12 yo and were on summer holiday, me and my friends used to build peashooters by cutting a finger of a rubber glove and taping it to the end of a hollow plastic pipe. So even though we kids were on holiday and the schools had already ended, many people still went to work. And we knew this great spot where there was a really dense forest next to a street and a bus stop on the other side of the street. So we would get up early in the morning and hide in the forest very near to the street and shoot the people standing by the bus stop, waiting for the bus to take them to their work places. The poor people were very sleepy early in the morning and we were well hidden so they didnt realize where they were being shot from and they just kept embarrasedly glancing at each other and tried to act normal and act as no one wasnt even shooting at them. We had many good laughs just looking at their facial expressions as they tried to see where they were being shot from, it was apparent the situation was very awkward for them :p
2016-06-26 04:57
Here are a few things I've done: - Fucked my best friends gf while also in a relationship with my gf at the time for 2 years; had an affair basically, aka the coldest most fucked up type of cheating. - Smashed my recent ex's $900 iPhone on the ground into 100 pieces when we were together (I was drunk and she had punched me, had just gotten back from clubs that night). She was crying and begging me not to, but I was livid. Smashed it once.. then picked it up and smashed it a second time in front of her again for good measure... god damn was it satisfying. I ended up paying her back everything for the phone. I cheated on her too; but for other reasons. I'll chime in with few more later.
2016-06-26 05:03
You are just the worst, man
2016-06-26 05:30
Not saying it wasn't horrible... I've learned much from it.. just gotta take what you can and learn.
2016-06-26 05:34
You are a horrible human being
2016-06-26 20:19
You should just punch back and not destroy a phone wtf
2016-06-26 20:35
Yeah.. costs less money.. :P
2016-06-26 20:43
raped and killed a girl in 1990.
2016-06-26 05:04
nt bob saget
2016-06-26 05:06
Europe ROMAG
2016-06-26 05:26
PerX | 
Germany PerX
when i was 15 i took my parents car, picked up a friend and we drove through the city. we did that several times, during the week just before the summer holidays. we even went once to get some kebab at 3am. good old times.
2016-06-26 06:46
sorry i love these players but it is obvious they are cheating. The suspected players always lock onto people through walls whereas the legit players never do. It isn't coincidence, it happens far to often. the most obvious ones are: flusha shox coldzera konfig kjaerbye too bad valve will never actually investigate it, coz it would make their game look shit if everyone's hacking. they will just keep relying on VAC, which will never detect a 64bit private cheat -_-
2016-06-26 08:01
Had a diahrea attack during church and splatter poop all over the Windows... SiEGED | CSGO Genius
2016-06-26 10:03
sorry i love these players but it is obvious they are cheating. The suspected players always lock onto people through walls whereas the legit players never do. It isn't coincidence, it happens far to often. the most obvious ones are: flusha shox coldzera konfig kjaerbye too bad valve will never actually investigate it, coz it would make their game look shit if everyone's hacking. they will just keep relying on VAC, which will never detect a 64bit private cheat -_-
2016-06-26 10:46
2016-06-26 10:58
It wasnt me but laterearlier this week we had graduations from primary school (9th grade 15-16y.o) And there were there 5 guys who stole a car, were driving it with no license obv. Crashed it and one guy got in the hospital because he was driving on the car's roof. 4 of them got minor problems like shitloads of money to pay and the guy who were driving got criminal sentence and will prob. go to underage childrens jaul xD
2016-06-26 11:05
This is pretty bad: When I was 17 (5 years ago) I was pretty famous on some kind of social networking website I'm not going to name. That was before chicks got suspicious about sending nudes cause there had been no fappening or that many major nude-leaking stories. So there were a lot of chicks following my account and fangirling, and I'd get them to get naked on Skype. (Still have a fetish for girls getting naked on camera because of those days) Now one of the chicks, who was also 17, was smoking hot. We had a "skype-date" arranged, so I was like "I need to save this somehow to fap to it later" and downloaded a screen recording software. I recorded her getting naked and masturbating, the whole lot. Because she was really hot, I wanted to share with my friends so I uploaded it to some pornsite without owning an account on it, which was fucking retarded. I messaged the pornsite to get it taken down because she was underage as well, but to no avail. I didn't have an account on there so I lost any control over the video. The result is that there's a video of that girl still circulating around the web and I literally still come across it sometimes on different pornsites. Who knows if someone that knows her found that video and completely rekt her life. Her parents were really religious Americans so her life might have turned into hell. Really feel sorry for that crap now, just cause I was a stupid ego-tripping kid that wanted to brag about female attention.
2016-06-26 11:33
Someone's gonna ask for a link lol
2016-06-26 19:25
Yeah not going to link haha
2016-06-26 20:12
2016-06-26 20:48
don't feel sorry mate, I mean you're a scumbag but you didn't force her to do anything so about that link...
2016-06-26 19:32
No i never forced her but she had no idea she was being recorded. Her face and everything is in the vid. No idea how bad the reaction could have been if anyone in her real life found the video
2016-06-26 20:14
Hungary Shaperz
well if she does things like this on webcam to a "stranger", she fucking deserves it mate, fucking bitch ass slut whore
2016-06-27 11:06
pm for your biggest homie
2016-06-26 20:17
Sorry my friend
2016-06-26 23:19
did you know it's Happy Link's day today?
2016-06-27 11:01
I wasn't aware
2016-06-27 17:23
2016-06-26 20:39
posting a thread about my favourite player cheating...
2016-06-26 20:41
United States duunes
sucked on my best friends sister's boobs while he was sleeping in the next room LUL
2016-06-26 20:42
Cheated on my gf like 50+ times (I don't even remember every girl I fucked, so maybe more, idk). We are together for 6 years now I love her, we are even planing family together... but sometimes I just want to fuck new woman. Every time I do it, I feel bad and tell myself this was the last time and I'm gonna quit this shit... but, oh well... I can't help myself
2016-06-27 13:54
u got a cancer confirmed FeelsBadMan
2016-07-22 15:29
yesterday, again :-D
2016-07-23 14:56
dude this isnt :D :( this is really fucked up and i honestly feel so so sorry for your girlfriend who loves you and who you are tagging along,i would even say this is worse than killing someone and hiding the body,if she found out about this she may commit suicide,or become so depressed that you have just fucked up her whole life because of your childish fucking urges do you understand?I want you to go to a therapist and explain the situation and your urges and they will tell you how to stop,i also want you to be good to your girlfriend buy her whatever she wants make hr happy celebrate her birthday make love to her etc,then i want you to break up with her after a month or two of doing that,so its not suspicious ,im asking you to break up with her after being nice so that at first shes happy,then unhappy for a very short period of time(but that unhappines is nothing compared to if she found out god forbid id even kill myself in that case) and once youve dumper her nicely youre giving her a chance to find someone who actually loves her and isnt a piece of shit :) pretty sad that I as a 15 year old am behaving more maturely than you man you should be ashamed :(( this is very fucked up tbh
2016-07-23 15:05
2016-07-22 15:13
some kid (3 or 4) year old won 40euros on machine and just left and i took his money, he didnt knew he won. kinda lame but yeah.
2016-07-22 15:33
stole 200 pounds worth of money from my mum's credit card thinking she wouldnt notice,she is single mother with me only and working night shifts to provide for us,this was like a year ago but i still feel fucking terrible abouyt it and our replationship has never been the same :( i dont get stuff for my birthday etc anymore and she just doesnt trust me that miuch feelsawfulman
2016-07-22 16:00
hahaha typical poorlack. even stealing from his own mother scumbag fuck
2016-07-22 16:08
1.Im half 'poorlack' half norweigan 2.Im pretty sure youre a worse person than i am lmao,you know nothing about me but already spreading hate,and prejudice based on flag,wow wp nice mentality you got there,if thisis how you behave to someone you dont even know i feel sorry for people forced to be around you all the time 3.Seeing as how im only 15 im pretty sure youve done worse things than this
2016-07-22 16:11
Azerbaijan Talley
haha typical poorlack, not surprised.
2016-10-28 17:53
i won 1000$ in a roulette site from 5 cents and i lost them in 3 bets ;-;
2016-07-22 16:06
this doesnt belong here,fucked up -messed up your act of losing money didnt hurt anyone but yourself fair enough might have sucked a bit but this is meant to be like a confession thread
2016-07-22 16:07
then i dont belong here xD i am savage but i cannot find the most extreame thing i did :P
2016-07-22 16:08
lol the lies on this just to feel good. anybody who says anything about sex = lie little virgin FUCKS
2016-07-22 16:11
2016-07-24 13:28
joined HLTV :/
2016-07-24 13:29
lol +1
2016-10-28 17:43
trust me you don't wanna know about me..
2016-07-24 13:33
I offered a guy 1 key to post a thread telling everyone to dislike some German shitkid's video. that's not the worst thing though... I didn't pay him the key :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
2016-07-24 18:22
things i still feel bad about and think about: once i kicked a mole because i thought it was a rat (i'm dumb). poor mole, it dindu nuffin. when i was a young kid i kept two goldfish as pets. when i think about it now keeping fish in fishtanks is cruel. like i never did anything with them. they probably died because i or someone else forgot to feed them. sad. traumatised some girl (for a while) in secondary school. she was fat. she kept slipping while trying to walk up a wet grassy slope. there was mud all down the front of her white shirt and her school blazer. i laughed my ass off at her, then i shouted for everyone to watch till i called like 60 people to watch her keep falling and we ALL LAUGHED at her. she was crying and i never got in trouble. i done more, but that's all i'm willing to admit.
2016-10-28 17:43
climbed on rooftop of school when i was like 14. we had hammers and broke the roof and shit (we were dumb as fuck). police showed up, and i started running. little did I know they brought k9 dogs, the dog ran after me and bit me in the arm and leg. i was only 14 though, so i didnt get punishment except for my mom spanking me to hell I forgot about the worst part, I always wanted a bunny when i was young, but my parents wouldn't give me one. So I stole one that was running around on a grass, don't know if it was owned by anyone or wild, but I brought it home. I was so scared that my mom would find out, so over night i locked it in a chest that I had over night. When I opened the chest, the little bunny was dead. I grapped it in a bag and threw it in a trash can :(((((((((((((((((
2016-10-28 17:53
omg 1000
2016-10-28 17:51
give RIPenglando a cookie
2016-10-28 17:53
100 Thieves
Evil Geniuses
Bet value
Amount of money to be placed
Odds total ratio
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