hello lady and gentlemen of HLTV.org
just the other day we see Ukrainian legend Andrey "B1ad3" Gorodenskiy fianlly leave active FlipSid3 roster and move to coach position, this matters not because F3 are dead in the water and a coach will change nothing but that is besides the point. B1ad3 is big GOAT for CIS scene and he finally realise that his time has come. Aleksandr "s1mple" Kostyliev tweeted this a little while ago to show his respect for B1ad3: twitter.com/s1mpleo/status/9887197665537..
this got me thinking, there is many loser pros who still hang around despite being past their sell by date and now they are stale milk, smell bad and nobody want them. to be fair, even if i was trash and i knew i was trash i wouldnt leave my $20k a month contract. we are also counting moving to coach as retiring
so now we list these pros, some of them you might think "fuck yh Mr happy_2_major_niko_0_major you're god damn right that guy blows" others you may think "fuck you Mr happy_2_major_niko_0_major that person is still great". anyhow, without further ado let us begin.
Christophe "SIXER" Xia currently playing for ex-EnVyUs/LeftOut. i respect SIXER tbh, i really do 1.6 legend, he takes all the hate he gets and still tries to keep playing, but he is pretty bad, your average AWPer from DMG is probably more consistent, respect to him but i am thinking his time has definitely come.
Yegor "markeloff" Markelov currently plying for Flipsid3,much like SIXER, markeloff is a 1.6 legend, in fact he is probably the best 1.6 player to ever walk this earth, but all good things must come to an end, just like 1.6, just like Flipsid3 and especially his career. markeloff is true GOAT but it is definitely time he hang up his keyboard and mouse. his team also only has 2/5 players right now which means that it will most likely disband after many years and i doubt anyone will be picking up markeloff afterwards as he has been quite bad for a long time now.
Gabriel "FalleN" Toledo currently playing for mibr, move to coach, retire, i dont care just get him away from a position of power where he can ruin other players careers to save his own. the problem with mibr isnt the fragging, its the IGL, whos fault is that, FalleN's, his solution, kick Ricardo "boltz" Prass who has done nothing wrong. terrible player and an even worse human being.
Jordan "n0thing" Gilbert, currently teamless, n0thing is big man of NA, when you think NA CS n0thing is the first person to pop in to your head, unless you browse reddit in which case its Michael "shroud" Grzesiek but he blows and hes gone now anyway so we wont be speaking of him. some of you may even say n0thing technically has retired, he has been teamless now for nearly a year and has stood in for mousesports for one tournament in that time where his performance was mediocre at best, if you ask me n0thing should take the same road as his pal shroud, he is good at CS and is a known personality, his stream would be nice. i am thinking that really we are just waiting for n0thing's official note of retirement already.
Mikail "Maikelele" Bill currently playing for (Digital)Chaos which to be quite honest surprises me as hes been in this team for more than a month which is such an achievement for him he might as well have won a major. Maikelele is notorious for his toxicity and that is the reason he can't stay on a team because nobody wants to play with him. he will never be on a top tier team again due to this, he isnt a trash players hes actually alright but nobody will want to play with him as skill does not make up for toxicity. he should really quit while he is ahead.
Markus "pronax" Wallsten currently playing for (Digital)Chaos. pronax is king, 3x major winner but he really and i mean REALLY is past his sell by date, probably the most washed up pro ever. his career ended once he left fnatic and he has achieved literally N O T H I N G since then, he would be a good coach i think, good for any decent Swedish team, fnatic/NiP for example. if he had retired a while ago before he completely slandered his own name then coach would be perfect for him. Sad he couldn't be honest with himself :(
Jaros?aw "pashaBiceps" Jarz?bkowski man is an icon, and fan favourite. admittedly he hasnt been doing as trash as he was a few months back but i think his time also has well and truly come, he had a great run, 1x Major winner, 1x Major MVP but he has a family that is more important, not even his fault that he has to retire, Virtus.Pro is a dead horse that has been drop kicked, hit by a train and then spat on by the Brazilian fans like they did to Space Soldiers.
hope you guys enjoy this read, let me know if you think there is anyone else have nice day everyone :)