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Wedding Speech
Canada ProvexPyker 
Any advice for a wedding speech? My big bro wants me to give a good damn speech when I can't even hold a conversation right. Any tips on the format or the contents or experiences would be great.
2018-08-16 17:27
#1
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Liechtenstein fuyu 
Honestly just improv and good luck.
2018-08-16 17:29
#22
NiKo | 
Europe NeO_RiGhT 
I came 🏃 I saw 👀 I came 🏃 I saw 👀 I praise 🙏 the Lord 😇 then break 💥 the law 👩‍⚖️ I take 🖐️ what's mine 🙋‍♂️ then take 🖐️ some more 😌 It rains 🌧️ it pours ⛆ it rains 🌧️ it pours ⛆
2018-08-16 19:13
Xd
2018-08-16 19:16
ebic 😎
2018-08-16 19:37
#38
gla1ve | 
Germany mary69 
nice😜🤣
2018-08-16 19:44
🌽 \k
2018-08-16 19:45
#55
twist | 
Russia Shumrud 
best speach but fkn emojis takin over hltv
2018-08-17 16:03
epic 😎 gamer😎 style😎
2018-08-18 07:06
Don't ask any serious question on this sad excuse of a forum.
2018-08-16 19:22
PM jonty for an old fashioned tier 1 speech
2018-08-16 17:30
+1
2018-08-16 17:34
Yeah I was thinking just that but I'm not sure just how rude that is considering we don't know eachother
2018-08-16 17:48
#23
JW | 
Sweden bolognese 
Jonty is a really nice guy. He loves helping people. Surely you can ask for tips, why not? I asked him couple of days ago about some stuff and he really helped me out :)
2018-08-16 19:13
#60
NiKo | 
Europe NeO_RiGhT 
#22 is best, trust me 👌
2018-08-17 16:09
Yes that is a speech that will reach all the kids there and make it the most memorable wedding of their childhood however my brother would probably hate me after that lol
2018-08-18 07:12
Also boring like him.
2018-08-16 19:46
+1 he will sound like some autist trying to copy shakespear
2018-08-17 16:06
Don't improvise... You will look like Jesse wellens at the e3 lmao. If you are not a funny person you probably shouldn't do it.
2018-08-16 17:30
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hilarious do you think the speech should be?
2018-08-16 17:54
it depends in your bros personality too tbh
2018-08-16 19:31
So, tell me something about him!
2018-08-16 19:38
We're like 7 or 8 years apart so i really can't remember him much as a kid, I do recall him bring mischief but I wasn't really around him much at the time. But his personality I would say did a complete 180, not so mischief and now really caring. He's always looking ahead and wants to move forward with everyone.
2018-08-16 20:04
#56
twist | 
Russia Shumrud 
so ua re the big bro ? if u are u gotta make 10/10 speech
2018-08-17 16:04
No no I'm younger. It's just that our cultural weddings involve all the brothers and sisters to give a small speech. It's weird yep.
2018-08-18 07:05
a proper 5, it shoudlnt be a comedy act, but it should definitely be funny so people keep listening
2018-08-17 15:02
Thanks!
2018-08-18 07:03
#4
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Finland PostBack 
just watch Watson's speech from Sherlock TV show
2018-08-16 17:32
#5
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Norway rogueplayer 
Know your audience and tell about a story that everyone knows about, or have heard about Make some jokes about him as a person, perhaps when growing up and stuff.. compare him to other kids and yourself... tell some embarrasing moments that no one knows except the family Exaggerate the stories by saying dumb stuff and have a fun tone of voice... be joyful but not a clown
2018-08-16 17:32
Just a question, I don't have any memories of the bride, legit we've only met like 3 times. I only write the speech for my brother's side right? Because if I have to mention something about the bride I don't have anything.
2018-08-16 17:37
Just welcome her to the family and say the endless love and hapiness stuff at the end
2018-08-16 17:38
I'll do just that, thanks for the advice!
2018-08-16 17:46
Then sex her.
2018-08-16 19:47
#12
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Norway rogueplayer 
Of course not, you're probably your brother's best man so no need to make up a story for his bride But as #11 said, welcome her to the family... make a joke or two for example about she's going to be miserable with your bro because you would know that (been growing up with him etc.). Like a welcoming speech etc.
2018-08-16 17:41
Alright I'll keep that in mind, thank you so much for the advice!
2018-08-16 17:45
#14
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Norway rogueplayer 
No problem man, and good luck!
2018-08-16 17:45
Ask Dosia to help write you a speech
2018-08-16 17:35
tell a story how once he went to a prostitute and end up fucking a trap i'm feeling thank you
2018-08-16 17:38
#17
L.K.S | 
Brazil Exfm 
he gots no balls for that XD
2018-08-16 17:53
Yeah that's probably not the best idea...
2018-08-16 18:00
#20
NiKo | 
Europe NeO_RiGhT 
O-oooooooooo AAAAE-A-A-I-A-U- JO-oooooooooooo AAE-O-A-A-U-U-A- E-eee-ee-eee AAAAE-A-E-I-E-A-JO-ooo-oo-oo-oo EEEEO-A-AAA-AAAA
2018-08-16 19:12
German comrades! Seven years is a short time span, a fraction of a single person's life - barely a second in the life of a whole people. And yet the past seven years somehow seem longer than many decades of the past. A very important historical event is contained within them: the rebirth of a nation formerly threatened by extinction. It is an incredibly eventful time, and seems barely comprehensive sometimes to us, who have not just had the opportunity to witness but also to actually create a small part of it. Democratic ideals are a big topic of discussion right now; not in Germany, but other parts of the world talk about them. We in Germany have learned our lesson with democratic ideals; if the rest of the world praises these ideals, we can only answer that the German people had the chance to live within the purest form of this ideal, and we ourselves are now reaping the legacy left by this democracy. We then get a lecture on the wonderful goals of war, especially from the British side. Great Britain has much experience in proclaiming goals of war, considering they have waged more wars than anyone else. The goals they proclaim today are fantastic: the creation of a new Europe. This Europe will be a just place, and the general equality will make arms unnecessary, so we can all disarm. This disarmament is supposed to kick start a period of economic blossoming, trade and movement should commence, especially trade, much trade, free trade! And from this trade, culture is supposed to bloom, and not just culture, but religion, too. In one phrase: the golden age is supposed to dawn. Unfortunately, this golden age has been described in a very similar fashion on several occasions, and not even by prior generations, but by the same people that are describing it yet again today. It's like a very worn-out groove on an old LP. We should pity these gentlemen, who haven't found a new, big idea to hook the people on, because they promised the same things in 1918: the goal of war then was also a "new Europe" and a "new equality", this new equality whose main element is abolishing a nation's right to self-determination. At that time, an equality that would make arms unnecessary in the future was promised. Thence issued the program of disarmament of everyone. And to make this disarmament especially manifest, it was supposed to be crowned by a union of all disarmed states, which had decided that, in the future, all differences (at least no one doubted there would still be differences) between them should be, well, as it is the custom among democracies, be talked to pieces in open discussions. Under no circumstances should there be any more shooting. And at that time it was already said that the consequences of this disarmament and this worldwide parliament would be an incredible blossoming, a blooming of industry and especially (and much emphasis is always put on this) of trade, of free trade. Culture, as well, should not be disregarded in this process, and while one spoke a little bit less about religion at the end of the war than at the beginning, we at least were told, in the year 1918, that it would be a blessed era that God would smile upon. We are experiencing now what happened then: the old states were dissolved without even asking their peoples' opinion. Not in one single case was the nation asked if it agreed with the measures that others would put into place in them. Old, almost historical bodies were dissolved - not just states, but also economic bodies. One could not imagine something better in their stead, since what is created over a period of several centuries is probably better than anything else; it was definitely impossible for those people that view all of European history with the greatest arrogance to create something better. So it passed that, without taking into account a nation's right to self-determination, Europe was hacked up, Europe was torn open, large states were dissolved, nations had their rights taken away. This was done by first making them helpless, then categorizing them in a manner that predetermined who the winners and the losers would be. There was no more talk of disarmament then, on the contrary, the arms race continued. For no one started solving their conflicts in a peaceful manner, on the contrary, those states with arms waged war just like before. Only the disarmed were not able to forbid the menacing actions of the armed, or even to keep them away from themselves. Paralleling this, of course, came not a period of economic health, but on the contrary an incredible system of reparations led to the economic downfall of not only the losers, but also of the winners themselves. No people felt the effects of this economic depression more than the Germans. The general economic disorganization led, particularly in Germany, to a widespread joblessness that almost ruined our German people. Culture, as well, was not enhanced, but rather ridiculed and warped. Religion took a back seat; in these 15 years no one British spoke of religion; no British person remembered Christian mercifulness or altruism. At that time the gentlemen did not take their Bibles with them on walks, instead, their Bible was the Treaty of Versailles! 448 paragraphs, all of which a burden, an obligation, a condemnation, a blackmail of Germany or towards Germany. And this Versailles was guaranteed by the new League of Nations - not a union of free nations, of similar nations, not a union of nations at all (the actual, founded nations stayed away) - a League of Nations whose sole task was to guarantee this most base of all agreements, this agreement which was not negotiated but instead purely forced upon us, and to force us to fulfill it. So that was the time of a democratic Germany! Today, when foreign statesmen pretend not to be able to trust the modern Germany, it does not apply to the previous Germany: for was not that previous Germany birthed by and created by them, so they could trust it. And how badly they treated that Germany! Who still has complete memories of the history of that time: the horrible collapse of 1918, the tragic occurrences of 1919, and then all the years of domestic economic deterioration, the ongoing enslavement and impoverishment of our people, and most of all the complete hopelessness! Today, still, it is unsettling to think of that time, when a great nation slowly lost trust not just in itself, but in any sort of worldly justice. During this whole time, democratic Germany hoped, begged, and protested in vain. The international financial sector stayed brutally inconsiderate and squeezed as much as it could out of our people; the statesmen of the Allied nations remained hardhearted. It was mercilessly said, on the contrary, that 20 million Germans were too many. No one listened to the wretchedness of our unemployed, no one cared about the ruin of our agriculture or industry, not even of our trade. We remember this silencing of traffic that occurred at this time in the German Reich. At this time, when all hope was gone, when begging was proved to be futile, when protesting did not lead to victory: it was at this time that the National Socialist movement was created from one basic insight: the insight, that one is not allowed to hope in this world, nor beg, nor lower oneself by protesting. Instead, one needs to help oneself! For 15 years, in this democratic Germany, hope was preached, hope for a new world, for new institutions. Every side had its international patron. Some hoped for the international solidarity of the proletariat, others placed their hope in democratic international institutions, on the League of Nations in Geneva. Still others hoped for a global conscience, for a cultural conscience, etc. All this hope was in vain. We have put a different type of hope in the place of that previous hope: the hope of the only help that exists in this world, help through one's own power. The place that hope occupied is now filled with faith in our German people, in the mobilization of its eternal inner values. Back then , we had very little real tools to help us. What we saw as the building blocks of the new Reich, besides our own will, was firstly our people's manpower, secondly the intelligence of our people, and third that which our Lebensraum has to offer, namely, our earth and soil. Thus we began our work and subsequently witnessed this internal German ascent. This internal German ascent, which did not threaten the rest of the world in any way, which was purely internal German reforms, still instantaneously managed to produce hate in others. Possibly the most tragic moment of this happening was when we proclaimed our Four-Year-Plan, an idea which should have enthused the other world: a people wanted to help itself; it did not appeal to others for aid, it did not appeal for presents, for charity, it appealed to its own creative facilities, its own diligence, its own energy, its own intelligence. And still this other world started shouting, British statesmen cried out: what do you think you're doing, this Four-Year-Plan, it does not fit into our global economy! - as if they had let us have part in this global economy. No, they scented the recovery of the German people - and because of this, because we foresaw this and because we noticed this, we immediately began, parallel to this recovery, to remobilize German power. You know these years. 1933, so the same year, in which we took over power, I saw myself forced to withdraw from the League of Nations and to leave the ridiculous conference on disarmament. We could not receive any rights from these two forums, despite years of begging and protesting. 1934: German rearmament began on the grandest scale. In 1935, I instituted the general draft. In 1936 I corrected the situation of the Rhineland. 1937 was the start of the Four-Year-Plan. In 1938, the Ostmark and the Sudetenland were annexed to the Reich. In 1939 we began to shield the Reich against those enemies that in the meantime had removed their masks. The measured introduced in 1939 were to protect the Reich. All this could have been different, if this other world had, even for an hour, showed understanding for the German claims, for the necessities of life of the German people. So often it is said: we should have negotiated this. You remember, my comrades, did I not on more than one occasion raise the issue of German colonial claims before the world? Did we ever receive an answer to this, except for a no, except for repudiation, indeed almost new hostility? No, in Britain and France the ruling classes were determined to renew their fight against us the moment the Reich recovered. They wanted it so. For 300 years, Britain has followed its goal of preventing Europe to fully consolidate itself, just like France has for many centuries tried to prevent Germany from full consolidation. THE HISTORY OF BRITISH CRIMES AND WARMONGERING Today, when a Mr. Chamberlain stands forth as a preacher and announces to the rest of the world the pious goals of this war, I can only say: your own history speaks against you, Mr. Chamberlain. For 300 years your statesmen have always spoken thus, like you, Mr. Chamberlain, when war broke out. You have generally only fought for God or your religion. You have never had a material goal. But because the British never fought for material goals, God has rewarded you with so many material goods. God has not forgotten that Britain was always the warrior for truth, for justice, the champion of all virtues. They were richly rewarded for this. Over a period of 300 years, they have subjugated about 40 million km of earth; of course not because of egoism, not because they love to have power or gain riches or self-indulgence, no, quite on the contrary this all happened as part of God's mandate and in the name of religion. Indeed, Britain did not want to be the sole champion of God, so it always invited others to come join this noble fight. It did not even try to carry the main burden alone; if you are doing work mandated by God like this, allies can always be sought. This is the same thing they do today. And it has, as just said, been richly rewarding for Britain. 40 million km, and British history is a ceaseless row of rapes, of extortions, of tyrannical abuse, of subjugation, of pillage. There are many things that would be unthinkable in any other state and in any other people. War was declared for everything. War was waged to increase trade. War was waged to get other peoples addicted to opium. War was also waged, when necessary, to win goldmines, to attain power over diamond mines. There were always material goals, although of course they were noble embellished with ideals. The last war was also waged solely for ideal goals. That the side effects included winning the German colonies was God-willed. That our fleet was taken, that our German foreign assets were cashed, those are just side effects of this noble struggle for the holy religion. When Mr. Chamberlain walks around with carrying his Bible and preaches his goals of war, it seems to me as if the devil with a prayer book is closing in on some poor soul. And this is not even original anymore! This is old, no one believes him anymore. I think, he mistrusts himself. Furthermore: a nation only burns itself once. Children only followed the rat catcher of Hameln once, just as the German people followed the apostle of the international brotherhood of nations just once. So I praise Mr. Churchill. He speaks openly what the old Mr. Chamberlain only silently thought and hoped. He says it: our goal is the dissolution of Germany. Our goal is the destruction of Germany. Our goal is the extinction, if possible, of the German people. We want to beat Germany. Believe me, I appreciate this. And French generals, too, they speak openly on what this is all about. I think this facilitates communication. Why fight with such lying phrases? Why not speak openly? We prefer it that way. We know exactly which goals they have, if Mr. Chamberlain arrives, in Bible in hand or not, if he acts pious or not, if he tells the truth or lies. We know the goal; it is the Germany of 1648 that they want, that Germany - dissolved and torn apart. GERMANY'S "RIGHT TO LIFE": THE REICH IS OVERPOPULATED You know, here in middle Europe we have over 80 million Germans. These people, too, have a right to life. A piece of life pertains to them. For 300 years they have been cheated of this. They could only be cheated because they were so spread out that the weight of their numbers could not be felt. Today, 140 people live on one square kilometer. If these people build an entity, they are a power. If they are rent apart, they are helpless and bound. In their unity the also have a moral right. What does it mean, when 30, 50 or 200 small states protest or try to attain their rights of life? Who notices? When 80 million appear, it is worse. This is cause of the animosity towards the nation-building of Italy, towards the nation-building of Germany. They would love to dissolve these states into their original elements. Several days ago, a British person wrote: This is it, the overly hasty creation of the old Kaiser Reich, that was not right. - Indeed, that was not right. It was not right, that these 80 million people joined to represent their rights to life together? He would rather have these Germans split under two, three, maybe four hundred little flags, if possible, under two, three, four hundred dynasties, behind every dynasty several hundred thousand people, the other completely muzzled vis a vis the rest of the world. Then we, of course, can continue to live as a people of poets and philosophers, as good as we might. Besides, the poet and the philosopher do not need as much food as a heavy worker. This is the problem that we are discussing today. Here are great nations that over a period of several centuries were cheated out of their slice of life in this world because of their disunion. These nations have now, however, overcome their discord. Today, they enter the others' circle as young nations, and extol their claims. On the other side there are the nations that possess everything. And these 'Have' nations, that block large areas of the world for no reason whatsoever, yes, that a few decades ago even robbed Germany, these possessing nations now align themselves with the so-called possessing classes within each people. The occurrences of domestic society are mirrored in the world as a whole. Here, too, there were economic perceptions and political opinions that said, he who has, has, and he who has not, has not, and that is the God-given order of things, that one person has everything and the other nothing, and that it should stay that way. Opposing these, a new force stood up. The one force that cries out: now we want to destruct; if we do not possess anything, let us destruct everything. This nihilistic power raged through Germany for a decade and a half. It was overcome by constructive National Socialism. This National Socialism, that does not honor the state of things as they were, but rather modified the change or the method of the change of this status by saying: we want to change this status by slowly letting the 'Have-not' classes take part, by teaching them how to take part in the ownership. In no way can someone that now possesses turn to the point of view that he possesses all rights and someone else none. It is similar in the world. It just does not work, to have 46 million British people block 40 million km² of earth and simply declare: God gave it to us, and 20 years ago we got some from you too; this is ours now, and will not give it back. And France, And France with its not very fertile earth, almost 80 people on a square kilometer, yet they have over 9 million km of trees. Germany with its over 80 million people does not have more than 600,000 km. This is the problem that must be solved and that will be solved just as all social problems are solved. And today we are experiencing on a large scale the play that we once watched unfold domestically on a smaller scale. At the time when National Socialism started its struggle for the masses of our people, in the interests of constructing a truly workable arrangement and a true community of the people, at that time the former liberal and democratic parties (i.e. the possessing classes and their coalitions) tried to annihilate National Socialism, tried to dissolve the Party. It was their eternal cry: They have to be forbidden, they must be disbanded. They saw, in the dissolution, in the banishment of the Movement, they saw the destruction of the power that maybe could have led to a change in the status quo. National Socialism dealt with this wish. It stayed, and it led the reorganization of Germany. Today, this other world cries again: Germany must be dissolved, these 80 million people need to vanish into thin air, we must not leave them in a closed, state-like institution; because then we take their strength to assert their claims. That is the goal, that Britain and France have today. THE NATIONAL SOCIALIST STRUGGLE: GREAT BRITAIN AND FRANCE HATE GERMANY Our answer is still the same one we gave our internal enemies of yore. You know, my old Party comrades, that our victory in 1933 was not an easy one. It was an incredible struggle that was waged for almost 15 years; an almost futile struggle. Because you must imagine, my Party comrades, that we did suddenly receive a large following from fate. A handful of people started this. And these people painfully first secured their positions and then enlarge them. A handful of people turned into 100, then 1,000, and then 10,000 and 100,000 and finally the first million was reached. And then this evolved to two million, then three and four. We grew during an ongoing war against a thousand enemies and attacks and rapes and breaches of the law, and this struggle made us strong, internally strong. And so, these 15 years after we took power, we know that this is not a gift from heaven for someone that has not earned it, but the reward for a unique struggle, a brave perseverance in the struggle for power. And when I, in the year 1933, was given this power and took responsibility, along with the National Socialist movement, for the German future, it became clear to me that freedom would not be given lightly to our people. It also became clear that the struggle was not finished; instead, it was being waged on a larger scale. Because our goal was not the triumph of the National Socialist movement, but the liberation of our German people. That was the goal. Everything I have created since then is geared to this goal. The Party, the Arbeitsfront, SA, SS, all other organizations, the Wehrmacht, the army, the air force, the navy, they exist not just to exist but to help fulfill our goal. Securing the freedom of our German people looms above everything else. Of course I tried, just as I did domestically, through persuasion, through negotiating, by calling on their reason, to achieve our necessary, indispensable claims. Several times in several different areas, it worked. Already in 1938 one had to notice, that the old war hawks were gaining the upper hand again in those states opposing us. I started warning then. What is one supposed to think, if first a treaty is signed by both parties in Munich, and then one party returns back to London and starts badmouthing this treaty and saying it is a shame, yes, when he vows that this will not occur a second time; in other words: that voluntary communication is not thinkable any more for the future. At that time, the outsiders stood up in those so-called democracies. I immediately issued warnings about this, because it is obvious. The German people did not feel any kind of hate against the French or the British. The French people, the British people - the German people wanted only to live in friendship and peace with them. Germany has claims, which do not hurt these other peoples at all, which do not take anything away from them. The German people has never learned to carry on hate. Then in Britain, certain circles began their impertinent, intolerable assaults. And then came the moment when I had to say to myself: I cannot watch this anymore, I have to answer to this agitation. For we do not educate the German people to hate the British. We do not educate it to hate the French, while in France and Britain the agitators day after day bait the British and French peoples, through the press and at rallies, to hate against the Germans. One day the agitators will be the government. Then they will realize their plans, and the German people will not know where this is coming from. So I gave the order to educate the German people about this agitation. From that moment on I was convinced, if necessary, to ensure the defense of the Reich. Now, in 1939 these Western powers decided to drop the mask behind which they ere hiding, they declared war on Germany against all of our endeavors, even though we tried to accommodate and oblige them. Today, they are unembarrassed to admit: Yes, Poland would have probably acquiesced, but we did not want that. They admit today that it would have easily been possible to effect an understanding. But they did not want that. They wanted war. Okay! My internal enemies often told me the same thing. Often, I reached out a hand towards them. They slapped it back. They also cried: No, not reconciliation, not communication, we want a fight! So they got their fight! And the only thing I can tell France and Britain is: They will get the fight as well! The first phase of the fight was political action. It ensured our back was clear, politically. For years, Germany and Italy pursued mutual politics. These politics have not changed up till now. The two states are close friends. Their common interests can be brought to a common denominator. During the last year I tried to foil Britain's chance of degenerating their war (which was already planned in advance) into a general world war. For at that time, the pious, Bible-studying and -reading and preaching Mr. Chamberlain tried for months to come to an understanding, a union with the atheist Stalin. It did not work back then. I understand everyone in Britain being wildly angry at me for now succeeding at what Mr. Chamberlain tried in vain. And I understand that this action, which God would have smiled upon if Mr. Chamberlain had succeeded at it, is a sin when I succeed. But still, I think the Almighty will be pleased to have avoided senseless battles in such a large area. For over centuries Germany and Russia lived next to one another in friendship and peace. Why should this not be possible again in the future? I think it is possible because both people wish it so. And every attempt, undertaken by British or French plutocrats, to bring us to new opposition will fail simply due to our rational interpretation of the goals of these powers, the realization of these goals. This is how Germany is able to keep its back clear. The second task of 1939 was to clear our back in the military aspect, as well. The hopes of British war specialists that the fight against Poland would under no circumstance be decided before 6 months or a year had passed were dashed by the might of our Wehrmacht. The state which received a guarantee from England was obliterated from the map within 18 days. This ended the first phase of our struggle. And the second begins. Mr. Churchill cannot wait for it to begin. He lets his middlemen - and he says it himself too - express the hope that the war with bombs may start soon. And they have already written, that this fight will naturally not respect women and children. Well! When has Britain ever respected women and children? The whole blockade war is deliberately against women and children. The war against the Boers was solely against women and children. That was when the concentration camp was invented; this idea was born of a British brain. We only researched it in the encyclopedia and later copied it, only with one difference: Britain locked women and children in these camps, and over 20,000 of the Boers' women died pitiably. Thus, why should Britain fight differently this time? We foresaw this and prepared for it. Mr. Churchill can be convinced: we know what Britain has done in the past five months. We know what France has done, also. But he seemingly does not know what Germany has been doing in the past five months. These gentlemen seem to think that we have spent the last five months sleeping. Ever since I entered the political arena, I have not slept through one single day of importance, let alone for five months! I can only ensure the German people: great things have been done in these past five months. Everything that was created in Germany in seven prior years cannot compare to what has been achieved in the past five months. Our rearmament is running according to plan. Our plans have proven themselves worthy. Our foresight begins to reap fruits now, fruits in all areas, fruits that are so large that our Sir Enemies are slowly starting to copy them. However, their copies remain meager. Naturally, the British radio knows better. If we believed the British radio, not one single ray of sunlight would be able to pierce through the thick layer of military airplanes darkening the sky, the world would just be a single large weapons cache, all armed by Britain, producing for Britain and provisioning the massive British armies. Germany, on the other hand, is close to total collapse. U-boats - and I heard this today - we only have three. This is horrible, not for us, but for British propaganda. Because when these three have been sunk, and that will definitely happen either tonight or tomorrow, what else will they have left to sink? What is there left to destroy? The British will have no other option but to sink the U-boats we will build in the future. And then they will have to develop a U-boat-reincarnation theory. Since British ships will surely continue to be sunk, and we do not own any more U-boats, these can only be U-boats that have already been destroyed by the British. I further read that I am deeply sad and grieved because I had been expecting us to build two or three U-boats a day, but we only build two a week. I can only say: It is not good when one must hold one's radio speeches and war reports before the relatives of a people that has not fought for several thousand years. The last provable struggle of the Maccabees seems to have slowly lost its military-educational worth. When I see this foreign propaganda, I gain incredible trust in our victory. For I have witnessed this propaganda once before. For almost 15 years this propaganda was incited against us. My old Party comrades will remember this propaganda. These are the same words, the same phrases, and, when we look closer, even the same heads, the same dialect. I dealt with these people as a solitary, unknown man that pulled a handful of people to himself. In 15 years I dealt with these people. Today Germany is the largest world power! It is not actually so that aging itself makes one wiser. Aging does not make blind people see. Who once was blind is blind now too. The Gods ruin those who are blinded. Today, these powers oppose the German Wehrmacht, the first in the world! However, it is not just the Wehrmacht, it is the German people who stand opposed, the German people with its insights and its discipline, formed and educated by seven years of National Socialist leadership in all areas. You can see today that this is not just a phantom. This education surmounted class and caste. It abolished parties, corrected world views and in their place created a confraternity. This confraternity is now filled with glowing trust and a fanatical will. This confraternity will not repeat the mistakes made in the year 1918. Today, when Mr. Daladier doubts this confraternity, or when he believes that parts of this confraternity complain, or when he quotes and pities my homeland - oh, Monsieur Daladier, maybe you will meet my people from the Ostmark. Of course you personally will enlighten them. You will meet these divisions and regiments just as you will meet the other Germans. And you will then be cured of madness, of this madness of believing that these are German tribes standing opposite you. Mr. Daladier, the German people stand facing you! The nationalist-socialist German people! This people that once fought for National Socialism and that, through hard work gained the education and formation it has today, it is cured of all internationalist delusions. And it will remain cured. The National Socialist Party guarantees this. And your hopes of separating people and Party, or Party and state, or Party and Wehrmacht, or Wehrmacht, Party and me, are childish, naive. This is the hope that once nourished my enemies for 15 years. I as a National Socialist have only know work, struggle, worries, hardships. I think destiny had nothing else for our generation. We should not be ungrateful toward destiny for this; on the contrary, we have here a warning. 25 years ago the German people marched toward a struggle that others forced it into. There was inadequate armament. France used the power of its people completely differently than the Germany of yore. Russia was the big enemy at that time. A completely different world could slowly be mobilized against this Germany. It went to war and performed heroic miracles. And fate held onto our people. In the year 1914 it liberated the German homeland from the danger of foreign attack. In the year 1915 the positions of the Kaiser Reich were fortified. 1916, 1917, year for year, battle for battle, sometimes everything seemed ready to collapse, and as if by a miracle the Reich was saved again and again. Germany gave incredible proofs of its strength. It was obviously saved by fate. Then the German people became ungrateful. Instead of trusting in its own future and therefore its own strength, it began to trust the promises of others. And finally in its ungratefulness it struggled against its own Reich, its own leadership. And so fate turned its back on Germany. At that time, I did not see this catastrophe as something undeserved. I never complained that fate had done us wrong. On the contrary, I always supported the opinion that we received what we made ourselves deserve from fate. The German nation became ungrateful, and therefore did not receive everything it was due. This will not be repeated a second time in our history. The National Socialist movement has already undergone its probation. The fifteen years of its struggle definitely did not only contain glorious days, fabulous victories; often, times were full of worries, often our enemies rejoiced at our imminent destruction. But then the movement showed what it was worth; gathering itself together with a faithful and strong heart, trusting in the necessity of our struggle, and stood up to our enemy and finally vanquished this enemy. Today, this is the task of the German nation. 80 million people now rise to stand aligned. Opposing them stand as many enemies. Today, these 80 million people have excellent internal organization, the best that can exist. They have strong faith, and they do not have the worst leadership; instead, as I am convinced, one of the best. Today, the leaders and the people have one insight: that there is no communication without a clear implementation of our rights and that we do not want this struggle for our rights to commence again in maybe two or three or five years; that these rights that we are discussing belong to 80 million people, not to a party or a movement. Because, at the end of the day, what am I? I am nothing, my German people, but your spokesperson. Therefore I am the representative of your rights. This is not about me as a person, but I do not belong to those people that ever lower their flag. This I have never learned to do. The people have placed their trust in me. I will prove myself worthy of this trust and, in doing this, will not lose sight of myself or my surroundings; instead, I will watch the past and the future. I want to be perceived as honorific by the past and he future, and with me the German people should stand with honor. Today's generation carries Germany's fate, Germany's future or Germany's downfall. And our enemies, today the cry: Germany shall fall! And Germany can give only one answer. Germany will live, and therefore Germany will emerge victorious! At the start of the eighth year of the National Socialist revolution our hearts turn to our German people, to its future. We want to serve this future, we want to fight for it, if necessary fall, never capitulate! Germany - Sieg Heil!
2018-08-16 19:12
#27
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France Teellioz 
+1
2018-08-16 19:17
+1
2018-08-16 19:34
So expected
2018-08-16 19:40
+3
2018-08-16 19:48
+1000000
2018-08-17 15:23
Hello people, hf and gl to the couple, lets drink bye
2018-08-16 19:14
Ladies and gentlemen, if there's anybody here this afternoon who's feeling nervous, apprehensive and queasy at the thought of what lies ahead…… it's probably because you have just married X. To those of you who don’t know me yet. My name is ProvexPyker and I would like to thank X for finally confirming that I am actually the BEST man! I’ve actually looked forward to this moment for a long time. It will be the first time I’ve been able to speak for five minutes in X's presence without being interrupted! Now it’s not that I’m saying that X is loud but he does seem to break a fundamental law of physics that light travels faster than sound…. because with X, you very definitely hear him before you see him. It’s great to see that everyone is enjoying the wedding today, but I have to say that being best man you get to see behind the scenes – and let me tell you it isn’t pretty. Tears, hissy fits, chucking lipstick and mascara all over the place… luckily, I’ve heard that Y was better behaved than the groom. Quite clearly, no expense has been spared in creating this wonderful occasion for us all to enjoy. And by the way, please don't worry if you have heard any unusual noises during the speeches….. it's only X's wallet groaning in agony. Looking around this packed room, it's surprising just how far some people are prepared to travel for a free lunch. It's a good job X didn’t choose the menu, otherwise you would have been very disappointed to have come all this way for cheese sandwiches washed down with ALDI lager. Now I am supposed to use this opportunity to recall embarrassing moments to ridicule X. But I’ve been put under strict instructions not to mention the time X's fiesta door changed colour, the time that we had the winner’s podium from Northwood stadium on our heads or the time that X's Nova started smelling of fish. Of course… X….. I won’t say a thing. My lips are sealed. The theme of my speech is this: why marry X? What is so special about him? Over the last few months I've made extensive investigations and I think I've found the answer. One reason to marry X is that he’s exceptionally thoughtful – he’s always thinking about friends and family. In fact, he starts thinking from the moment he gets up…… and doesn't stop until he opens his mouth! I’ve been told that at School, his sporting prowess was legendary. In fact, when he graduated he was recognised as having made a major contribution to the Schools football first team..… by sticking to swimming He’s academically bright. I once visited him when he was at Imperial College. “I’m done here,” he told me, confidently, “They can’t teach me any more.” Now, initially, I put that down to his inflated ego. But, curiously enough, One of his Uni mates knew the Dean of the University at the time and when he asked him about James’s leaving his words were exactly the same,….. ‘we simply couldn’t teach him any more’. Another reason to marry X is that he’s very caring – especially about his appearance. It's easy to see from today that X, impeccably dressed, has always been an image-conscious sort of guy. You know, he once admitted to me that his favourite forms of entertainment were TV, Football and mirrors …. In reverse order. He is most known however for his care of money. As he has often told me: ‘The safest way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it back in your pocket’. But marriage changes a man and his approach to spending is shifting. Just yesterday, while mulling over a purchase, he blurted out, ‘Well, if you’ve got it why not spend it! I’m not extravagant enough! It’s a lot of money, but hey, you only live once! I’m going to buy this right now! I don’t care how much it costs!’ I was really impressed by this. And dramatically X threw the packet of Jaffa cakes in the shopping trolley and marched off. Now I’m not saying James is a skin flint but it’s a well known fact that when he suggested getting married at Alton Towers it was because he thought he could pay using his Merlin Pass and his family’s local residents tickets. I can only assume that the reason for Y choosing X was that opposites attract. I mean, one of my fondest memories is walking into their garden for a party to see X in the kitchen wearing a floral apron making cocktails and Y in the garden chopping firewood with an Axe…… They certainly are opposites… If the theme of my speech had been: why marry Y? It would have been straight forward. She is beautiful, intelligent and funny. She can cook like Nigella Lawson and she’s got the patience of a saint. X, I can say with my hand on my heart that you’re one of the luckiest men alive. And she writes a cracking best man speech as well. Joking aside, it’s a wonderful honour being best man today as James is a very special person to me. He is a true friend who never ceases to amaze me with his kindness. He has listened to me through many a crisis. He gives without any thought of reward. He is a super guy and a role model of a friend. And yes, we’ve had our differences… but nothing that two lawyers and a judge couldn’t sort out. I’d like to wish the happy couple well and toast their future happiness. Ladies and gentlemen, to the bride and groom. Just replace X and Y with their names and maybe change some details xd
2018-08-16 19:17
Holy moly how did you write it all when I'm over stressing after just getting past the welcome and introduction. Not to mention how smooth you wrote it, it really flows well and its not too long at all. Not to mention the humour that's involved, love it! Glad I could see an example of what the expectation is. Thanks so much! Ive been wondering because tbh I havent been to a wedding recently and could not at all recall how the speeches are usually done! Thanks so much!
2018-08-16 20:12
Fuckers in school telling me, always in the barber shop Chief Keef ain't bout this, Chief Keef ain't bout that My boy a BD on fucking Lamron and them He, he they say that nigga don't be putting in no work SHUT THE FUCK UP! Y'all niggas ain't know shit All ya motherfuckers talk about Chief Keef ain't no hitta Chief Keef ain't this Chief Keef a fake SHUT THE FUCK UP Ya'll don't live with that nigga Y'all know that nigga got caught with a ratchet Shootin' at the police and shit Nigga been on probation since fuckin, I don't know when! Motherfuckers stop fuckin' playin' him like that Them niggas savages out there If I catch another motherfucker talking sweet about Chief Keef I'm fucking beating they ass! I'm not fucking playing no more You know those niggas roll with Lil' Reese and them
2018-08-16 19:17
Then drill their heads.
2018-08-16 19:49
Tell them about that time he came in your bed at night, put you on the belly, held your arms and, well you know how it continues.
2018-08-16 19:27
Rawr x3 nuzzles how are you pounces on you you're so warm o3o notices you have a bulge o: someone's happy ;) nuzzles your necky wecky~ murr~ hehehe rubbies your bulgy wolgy you're so big :oooo rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy it doesn't stop growing ·///· kisses you and lickies your necky daddy likies (; nuzzles wuzzles I hope daddy really likes $: wiggles butt and squirms I want to see your big daddy meat~ wiggles butt I have a little itch o3o wags tail can you please get my itch~ puts paws on your chest nyea~ its a seven inch itch rubs your chest can you help me pwease squirms pwetty pwease sad face I need to be punished runs paws down your chest and bites lip like I need to be punished really good~ paws on your bulge as I lick my lips I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow you smell so musky :v licks shaft mmmm~ so musky drools all over your cock your daddy meat I like fondles Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe puts snout on balls and inhales deeply oh god im so hard~ licks balls punish me daddy~ nyea~ squirms more and wiggles butt I love your musky goodness bites lip please punish me licks lips nyea~ suckles on your tip so good licks pre of your cock salty goodness~ eyes role back and goes balls deep mmmm~ moans and suckles
2018-08-16 19:35
#34
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Sweden Bangs 
"ill never forget the first time my brother talked about (wifes name). I talked to him the day after their first date and asked how it went." "He just looked me straight in the eyes with a look of deep love and said "I TOOK A WHITE BITCH TO STARBUCKS, THAT LITTLE BITCH GOT HER THROAT FUCKED" Guaranteed standing ovation, thank me later
2018-08-16 19:35
#43
B1ad3 | 
United Kingdom SkeptiiC 
Just tell him that CSGO added an MP5... There's no way he can be disappointed.. We all know that clearly CSGO has been fixed now as Valve have dedicated time to adding a new weapon.. right?
2018-08-16 19:48
🤣😂🤣Reply needs to have actual content 😂🤣😂
2018-08-16 19:50
Well the most important thing is to start with an ice breaker joke. If you fuck it up they won't laugh during the whole speech. Otherwise you'll be fine.
2018-08-16 20:13
just get danked up then say whatever u feel like
2018-08-17 15:14
#53
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Switzerland veach 
YEET and then dab works everytime
2018-08-17 15:25
#57
 | 
United Kingdom oyyrofl 
Biggest choke of your life incoming, gl bro
2018-08-17 16:05
Should be fun and lighthearted. Remember to praise the bride. You are allowed to make a bit of fun of him, but I would embarres him too much. Its their big day.
2018-08-17 16:06
Woah thanks, I'll keep that in mind!
2018-08-18 07:07
Got married yesterday xD
2018-08-19 20:48
HOLY MOLY Congratulations! I'm lost for words, I really don't know what to say aside from wishing you LOTS of happiness and love!
2018-08-19 21:32
It doesnt really matter too much what you say, my man. Nobody came there for your speech and nobody expects it to be insane. Tell a couple of compliments to both, you can joke about your bro a little bit. 2 minutes is already enough - you can speak more obv. You can also not joke at all and be dead serious - thats also fine. But if you choose this way your speech should be more structured and interesting I gave 2 wedding speeches in my life and both were horseshit imo. But most of the people(couples included) loved it
2018-08-17 16:25
That clears up alot of nonesense in my head, I've been thinking about how highly the expectation could possibly. Thanks so much! I'll keep this in mind.
2018-08-18 07:10
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