Once we had a lot of lands and were the most powerful then we lost everything
first spainards were fking aztec bitches ( aztecs more powerful civilization at one point) then we got our independence then pancho villa fucked some USA bitches the we were forced to sell half of mexico to them really cheap (texas, arizona, new mex, nevada, etc) and now we fucked and we USA bitch
Nothing. We had cool Vikings tho. Vikings > all
duda election giving kaczynski unlimited power in poland
all hail the greatest hero of christianity
Resisted Portugese invasion but some ahole decided it was a good idea to open gates from the inside and ask the people to flee the city to let Portugese enter lol.
Kyivan Rus' => Lithuinian occupation => Hetmanshchyna => Russian Occupation => Ukrainian people republic => Soviet occupation => Ukraine
Every time we get independence it's a win XD
We won in 12 September 1683 over Ottoman Empire, and in August 1920 we stopped Soviet Russia to spread communism all over Europe. I'm proud about my ancestors and history
the only two wars our nation ever fought were lost but we sure slapped the soviets pretty fucking hard
Two world wars one World Cup and a shitload of tea. Not bad ey boys
SKANDERBEG (winning like 10-15 battles against the Ottoman Empire, always outnumbered)
After that the short time of good working communism was good
Union of Lublin - the best moment on Polish history
Napoleon was the most successful french commander
1st 2nd 3rd bulgarian empires, resistance against the ottomans, we held pretty good in ww1, slapped the serbians couple times, and much more but im lazy af so i wont write that much
Remaining independent with russia / ussr as neighbour
once up on the time we beat Jungars(nobody cares ofc) but it was quite important for our history xD
and a division formed here in Almaty stopped german tank group advance on Volokolamsk highway, near Moscow.
it is it
probably stretching our lands from baltic to black sea
edit: later on merging with poland and becoming biggest country in europe for a while
We managed to hold out against the germans for a full 5 days (Netherlands)
We invited invading countries so they can invade neighboring countries during a war in exchange for a peace-treaty. we also did the same to the opposite side of the war. after the war, when everyone was struggling economically, we took advantage of that and thrived economically for 30 years by exporting stuff for ridiculous prices. Then we hit a recession, and when the recession was over we opened up our borders so we could get a bigger working force.
we all know what happened next...
world cup 2006
germany on their home soil, and then the baguettes in the final.
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we also were one of the best countries in eu, then nazis and russia invaded us for the next 60 years and then we got rid of russians and communism
largest empire in history in both land area and population
We managed to drive the British out of our country
1783 we finished raping the British
1815 we finished raping the British again
WWI we rekt Germans
WWII we rekt Germans again
Vietnam we were anally annihilating the Vietnamese but South Vietnam was corrupt so when we left they lost
717 one of the biggest invasions of Arabs in Europe stopped at Constantinople mainly by Bulgar cavalry
855 cyrilic alphabet
917 biggest empire in eastern Europe
927 first Slavic patriarchy
1205 beat crusaders asses in Adrianople
1230 smartest Bulgarian ruler made Bulgaria great again
Then after the liberation we kicked our neighbours asses
But that's very small part of our history
Let's not forget that the oldest golden treasure was found in Bulgaria
Cucked UK, discovered NA, discovered and settled on Iceland, discovered the South Pole, had some relaxing wars with our neighbors, then went on to discover oil & gas and from there we just kept it chill and civilized.
Puppets of Prussia or Germany i don't fakin remember exactly , then we were in Russia for some time then gained independence , then ww2 and annexed by Soviets , then conquered by Germans , then again Soviets , then we got our independence back . Funny thing Russians wanted to wipe every latvian from Latvia since they invaded us but nothing worked for them haha losers.
Battle of the Teutoburg Forest ez
So apparently we threw a bunch of guys out of a window (this got 2 religious wars started LMFAO), managed to gangbang crusaders here and there, got bolsheviks running for their lives, won our only naval battle in history, too bad that Munich agreement thing happened.........
Denmark has never been subjected a foreign power.
the biggest empire in the history of the world
Birthed the best Counterstrike players in the entire world in Canada.
Dont reply to dispute since this is fact.
We killed Magellan. That is all.
Conquer of Constantinople
Battle of Galipoli
War of Independence
come at me, angry bulgarian/greek historians
I guess abolishing apartheid and then Mandela not ordering all white people to be killed. Which was nice of him.
Idk were apart of sweden then russia, then boom boom brr freezing, then :(( poor times and now nice m8
we used to swing on the trees, gobble up the bananas and go "o o o o basicly im monky"
5 World Cups, we never lose a war, and we've beautiful girls, the best girls of world, and BOLSONAROPRESIDENT
Americans best moment is apparently 'raping the british'
gj beating 1/5 of our army while we are 5,000 miles away focusing on important wars in europe OMEGALUL
vietnam war exposed what american men made of
used to be the barn of the world with the potential to be a well developed country then shit happened like corruption, stupid people, and USA with their dictatorships in latin america :D (along much more)
Napoleon's defeat/WW2. Respect Russians, they fucking saved your 'independence' twice.
We fucked japan so hard they became weebs
nothing lol expect maybe independence war
Kievan Rus saved eu from Mongol invasion, Mongol Empire was the biggest and the strongest empire of that time
750 BC – 768 AD
>Being all Tribal and Shit
>Hitting Romans, Romans hitting Back
>Franks, Saxons, Swabians, and Bavarians united under king Henry the Fowler
>Otto the Great becomes king of Aachen
>Lots of War
1096 AD - 1291 AD
>Knightly Orders Form (Templars, Knights of St John (Hospitaller), Teutonic Order (Thats mostly us)
>Holy Roman Empire
>Hanseatic League, making some mad Trade Skrilla with Baltics
>Teutonic Knights, conquest for Prussia, killing some Baltic Prussians natives and/or Christianize them. Building some Town while at it.
>Plague because why not..
>Holy Roman Empire still doing its Holy Stuff
>Thirty Years War about what Christianity is best. Just to realize both are pretty okay.
>Some more wars for Prussia, Spreading.
>Taking some Poland
>Live is so Boring without war that Bourgeois values spread to rural Germany
>Also Enlightenment (Probably Ancient Aliens)
>Having nice conversations with France
>Shooting at eachother with Prussia & Austria and France (what about those nice conversations?)
>Prussia sided with Russia, Austria joined Napoleon fell back
>British and German armies won Waterloo (Take this little angry man!)
>German Confederation of 39 States
>Seeing that Britain, France, and Belgium are far more industrial developt
>Industrialize the shit out of everything
>Building some fucking Railways and shit
>Time for Science and Culture
>Constitution and stuff
>The King had a stroke, his brother took over
>German Confederation dissolved
> North German Federation established
>Some War with Denmark and Bohemia
>Allied with Austria (forever my friends :'D )
> France mad again.
>Spain without Queen (WTF SPAIN)
>War (with France again)
>Wilhelm I died age 90, his son had throat cancer and died three month later so only his retarded grandsone Wilhelm II was left.
>Destroyed everything Bismarck accomplished and forced him to retire.
1889 - 1915
>The Above, destroying everything more
>Some War for Colonies (everyone had the right?)
> 4 years of trench warfare with France and Belgium
> Beat Russia on the Eatern front (Battle of Tannenberg)
>Brits and America Joined
>German Army destroyed
>Treaty of Versailles
>Peace terms in the Treaty of Versailles where seen as Humiliating and provoked bitter indignation throughout Germany
>1924 elections took a huge swing to the right
>In October 1925 the Treaty of Locarno was signed by Germany, France, Belgium, Britain and Italy; it recognised Germany's borders with France and Belgium
>Wall street Crash of 1929
>Nazi Party rises.
>Invading Poland, Norway, Netherlands and France
>Invade Soviet Union and Yugoslavia
>Battle of Moscow
>Declared War on the US after Japan attacked Pearl Harbor
>North Africa Campaign failed
>Losing the Battle of Stalingrad
>United States, Canada, France, and Great Britain closing in from West
>Post War Chaos
>DDR (Soviet Occupied Zone)
>Wester Occupation Zone (Federal Republic of Germany)
>Economic Miracle 1950 to 1957
>Economic crisis 1973
>Reunification of East and West Germany 1990
Battle of Marathon 490 bc
Naval battle of Salamis 480 bc
Battle of Plateau 479 bc
Battle of Gaugamela 331 bc
Battle of Kokkalia 279 bc
Battle of Kleidi 1014 ad
Battle of Dervenakia 1822 ad
Battle of Giannitsa 1912 ad
Naval battle of Elli 1912 ad
Battle of Skra 1918 ad
Grecoitalian war 1940 ad
Simple, USA is where rebels went against Britain and somehow won with outdated hunting equipment.
Do your thing/be a pioneer at something, progress at the top, get rekt by allies/neighbours ... history of Czech lands in a nutshell
rekt russia many times
rekt denmark since 1523
not a single war since 1900 smth, feelsgoodman
biggest corruption schemes
culturally and ethnically diverse
Battle of Blue Waters, liberation of eastern Europe from Mongols
Grand Duke Algirdas, 3 devastating raids against Muscovia
Battle of Grunwald, devastating defeat for German invaders
Vytautas Alexander The Great establishes Lithuania as the largest state in Europe
PLC victory against Ottomans in Vienna
we sailed up the thames and set shit on fire
beat the spanish a couple times
lose against germany or france
- Conquer of Constantinople
- Annexation of huge Mamluks in one war
- Annexation of half of Hungary in one war
- Victories against tons of crusades
- We ended medieval age, started a new age
After defeating Japanese and stopping the colonization of Korea in 1945, USA and USSR had the brilliant idea to separate the region in half
Now South and North are in war for almost 60 years :D :D :D :D
We were a superpower and had a genius ass general that got the closest possible to defeat lucky rome.
we fought 2 world wars
didnt turn out that well
I like how people manage to include themselves in everything their country did. People always say "we" like in "we conquered this" "we did this" as if they had anything to do with that when they're actually virgins laying behind their pc all day
All i say is Talleyrand top 1
Big as fuck empire and industrial revolution.
We fucked the burgundians and austrians a few times and stopped caring what happens around us afterwards
so england colonized the east coast of what is now our country and after the war with france for the territory, they tried to tax us to pay off the debt. we weren't having that shit since we were having the time of our lives, being debt free and full of land. shit piled up, generally laws that restricted us and caused us to revolt, where we won the revolutionary war by stalling as long as we could.
our government was first based off of the articles of confederation, which were very loose and had been removed due to a farmer's rebellion. after much debate about the interests of smaller states and bigger states such as balance of power, our government decided to go along with something called the connecticut compromise, which split up the federal legislature into two divisions, one with 2 senators per state, and one with representatives per 30000 in each state.
other states came along, and the constitution, the document we have to abide by when governing, was amended 28 times. it was meant to stress the ideas of checks and balances, separation of powers, federalism, popular sovereignty, limited government, and judicial review [to protect natural rights]
tl;dr we won a war and we made a limited government
Once upon a time the indians were living happily and naked around the brazilian forests, fucking each other, fishing, dancing and fucking each other again.
The men left all day long in order to hunt the dinner, while the brazilian women took care of their depilation.
Suddenly, some stupid portuguese at 1500 landed here, and Brazil is over since then.
We were some of the most noble people in europe. We used to look down on slavic peasants and keep Romanians as slaves.
But ever since we started ww1, we have been plagued by misfortune.
we were swedish then russian and now we are finnish. dont know what next
Basically we hd a dude that fucked a chick and had a son that started the Portuguese expansion defeating his own mommy and a lot of muslim.
Then we got invaded by Spain and with a small army with some using agriculture instruments we won with the quadratic tactic. We have the oldest alliance with englando (btw their tea tradition was a Portuguese princess that introduced it to them)
We also won against France (Napoleon) 3 times that they tried to invade us we also divided the world with Spain than we lost a big part of it and we still had colonies like Brazil, Angola, Mozambique and others...
So at the end we created Bolsonaro so we are top1 in history.
ugh..... victories???? get some land that most of the people in it were Slovenian anyway. Probably killed a dozen or so nazis/fascists in WW2 WHILE being occupied :P
Wallonia is, after England, the first region of the European continent to know the industrial revolution, from the end of the eighteenth century. The region is recognized by three major qualities: abundant mineral resources, coal and minerals (limonite and oligist), an old proto-industrial tradition in search of renewal, a manufacturing enthusiasm. Between 1810 and 1880, Wallonia will remain the second largest industrial power in the world, behind the United Kingdom.
The United States used Belgium's uranium resources to supply the Manhattan Project to construct the atomic bomb in World War II
Now i would say... Eden Hazard haha
Best k/d in the history of mankind.
1v7 clutches on a regular basis.
Doubled territory once while merely defending borders.
polynesians came over from SEA and did some shit then the brits came and made the shit better.
waza you idiot
- Mighty vikings raiding the coasts of Europe, feared by everyone.
- 1066, invaded England, conquered York, then got surprised while the army was chilling and got fucked LOL.
- 1200's, we own Iceland, Greenland, lots of islands in Britain and parts of Sweden. Good times.
- Denmark ruins everything because of a succession laws.
- Denmark-Norway loses Napoleon wars, and fucking Denmark gives Norway to Sweden while keeping Greenland, Iceland and Faroe Islands for themselves, which has been rightly Norwegian soil for centuries.
- Get our own independence in 1814, but still Sweden's bitch. (thanks, Denmark).
- Finally out of Sweden's pocket in 1905. Good times ahead! IN COMES GERMANY in 1940 and rapes us.
- War is over, what to do? We're poor and shit.
- Find MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF OIL. Rich af.
- Get fucked, Sweden and Denmark.
- 2025: We launch a full-scale invasion of Greenland, Iceland and Faroe Islands. Fuck you, Denmark.
Piet Pieterszoon Hein capturing the Spanish silver fleet in 1628. Jan Pieterszoon Coen slaughtering the people on the Banda Islands in 1621 to gain a monopoly in the trade of nutmag over the British and the Portuguese.
As a Texan I say
REMEMBER THE ALAMO!!!!!
(Alamo W technically a loss but Texas had 100 troops to Mexico's 8000 and Mexico left with about 250 men)
As an American I say
DONT FIRE UNLESS FIRED UPON!!!!
(America revolution W)
Also thx to France for the help we payed you back with D-Day and winning ww2
As an American as far as I'm concerned history began on 1776 everything else is pre history
we killed britain
1812 britain owned us
pillaged all NA 1812-1900
during that Civil War killed a lot of ppl
WW2 helped Allies and the US Russia Britain fucked up germany
lost to rice farmers
cold war w/ russia
donald trump president
History of Finland starts in the 1800s. Before that we were just East Sweden.
"El Salvador, with the other countries of Central America, declared its independence from Spain on Sept. 15, 1821, and was part of a federation of Central American states until that union dissolved in 1838. For decades after its independence, El Salvador experienced numerous revolutions and wars against other Central American republics. From 1931 to 1979 El Salvador was ruled by a series of military dictatorships.
In 1969, El Salvador invaded Honduras after Honduran landowners deported several thousand Salvadorans. The four-day war became known as the “football war” because it broke out during a soccer game between the two countries."
We have the gratest history we killed more people than you did :S
- got a bit of German, Italian and Danish blood.
- then stole some land.
- then sent some people to America and sent some prisoners to Australia
- stole more land
- america fucked us in the arse while we beat the French AGAIN
- reduced slavery
- won ww1 but lost our economy in the process
-started losing land
-won ww2 but lost the rest of our economy
-lost the rest of the land
-now got theresa may
>lost to emus
>now one of the best countries in the world
my country's whole history is one big war. all of these wars were pointless tho, bc in the end our country economy is still bad nd people are poor here, these wars only brought deaths and losses.
we dumped tea into the harbor, and then we became free
Like, there was a guy who said "Fuck daddy, this is my land"
And here we are.
declared independence, 1878
500 years ottoman slavery
Controlling the entire Middle East, parts of Asia, Africa and Europe, then some Macadionian named "Alexander the Great" had to ruin everything...
According to Europeans it's non existent
Too much to say all of this stuff...