hello lady and gentlemen of HLTV.org,
before you all think you are experiencing the deja vu, you are not do not worry, i made this thread a few days ago but it was removed by some angry admin, i spoke to our overlord Mr Jonathan E. and he kindly gave me back the text within the thread. here you go
i have been absent for a while for my brain is getting weak in my old age and i cant think of good threads to make, i did think of this thread quite a few weeks ago but my hyper busy schedule and laziness made it so it took me a while to get my lazy ass to actually write this thread, without further ado my friends, i hope you like this thread
today we will be discussing who i think to be, the luckiest man in France, that man being Alexandre "bodyy" Pianaro currently playing for French mathmaking team, G2.
now please ladies and gentlemen put your pitchforks down and dont steal my baguettes, you are probably thinking "Mr happy_2_major_niko_0_major you are retard lol, G2 and bodyy is far from lucky, they are terrible team" which to an extent is true, they are a trash team and bodyy is not lucky in that sense. but bodyy is lucky as he has avoided the sticky French shuffle for so long and being ousted down to the depths of LDLC once again. to this very day bodyy continues to be under contract from G2 and has supposedly signed a contract for another 2 years meaning his pockets will remain rather heavy for quite a while. bodyy will continue to collect his T H I C C paychecks from this moron ocelote for quite a while.
so now we have the idea out of the way we must first look at the history of bodyy, what he does and how he has stuck around for so long.
bodyy first came in to the tier 1 scene when he was picked up by G2 in pretty early 2016, he was picked up to replace bumbling idiot Kévin "Ex6TenZ" Droolans, who, to this day still doesnt know his way around de_dust2 and still picks nuke against Astralis, regardless of this, G2 realised that this gold nova was getting their squad nowhere and so picked up some young talent in the form of bodyy from LDLC at the time.
he was alright i suppose, G2 were still a barely tier 1 team but they did manage to win 1 tournament against Luminosity during ECS finals season 1 which was pretty fucking funny to be honest. the world continued as normal however and G2 continued about their daily business until early 2017 when the world stood still as the new French superteam was unveiled and BOY where they a force to be reckoned with (for about 5 minutes) Richard "shox" Papillon, bodyy continued in G2 and Kenny "kennyS" Schrub, Dan "apEX" Madesclaire and Nathan "NBK-" Schmitt joined from the crumbling EnVyUs.
G2 won a few tournaments here and there and bodyy was a pretty solid player, his aim was decent and he was a sick support player, you could be certain that when brain dead apEX rushed a site, there wouldnt be a CT on that site that could see shit because bodyy's flashbangs were always pretty solid.
towards the end of the year it was clear to see that G2 were not the team that they were once hyped up to be. they rarely made it out of stages at tournaments and bodyy was very prone to poor individual performances.
they had one chance to prove themselves and that was at the Boston 2018 major where they had a perfect run until they made it in to the legends stage where they fell 0-2 to the future champions Cloud9 in the quarter finals.
now this here is what made bodyy so valuable at least for a little while, he held a major legend spot and G2 would have needed to keep at least 3 players from this legend roster to be allowed to head straight in to the challenger stage in the next major.
this was the last straw for the team and they began to seek new leadership, the first to go was shox who supposedly beefed hard with NBK- all the time over leadership roles. Edouard "SmithZz" Dubourdeaux not wanting to be left with these savages, left with his best mate shox and they were benched. Oscar "mixwell" Cañellas or as i like to call him, career wasted. was picked up on trial after expressing that he wanted to play for a French team and was trialled at WESG, he did alright but ultimately decided this was not the right path for him, he bid farewell to G2 just as shox and SmithZz came back ready to put one of the final nails in the coffin for G2, NBK- and apEX were benched allowing shox to bring in Ex6TenZ to IGL as he wanted and SmithZz was allowed to play again but to this day i think that should honestly be considered illegal.
now this here honestly didnt have too much to do with bodyy and at this point he probably was the weakest link on the team, but rather than G2 removing their worst player they instead kicked 2 of their best and this honestly made no sense to me, if their plan all along was to bring shox back, they would still have been able to keep their major legend spot as either NBK- or apEX would still have occupied one and they could still have bought both SmithZz and Ex6TenZ back in for some reason.
fast forward a little bit more until the FACEIT 2018 major where G2 used their free pass in to the challenger stage and fought valiantly narrowly taking down the absolute titans such as HellRaisers and Cloud9 who had like 3 players. they met their match when they took on a very angry FaZe in the final round of the swiss system in the 2-2 game and were beaten 2-0 and were eliminated, keep track here kids because this now means that they are no longer legends so anyone and everyone is up for a kicking right, including everyones favourite bodyy who has been dancing on the thinnest ice for over a year now.
in late November another shuffle happened with the unlikely 3DMAX as Audric "JaCkz" Jug and Lucas "Lucky" Chastang took the place of Ex6TenZ and SmithZz who as far as im concerned are fucking finished now, there is no chance of redemption for these men, especially seeing as i tweeted at SmithZz telling him to enjoy retirement and he liked it, i would have done the same for Ex6TenZ but he blocked me a long time ago.
as the name of their new player suggests bodyy was counting his Lucky stars as well as his paycheck as he had avoided yet another kick. truth be told at this point he was the 3rd best player on his team and SmithZz and Ex6TenZ are such dreadful players bodyy actually looked pretty decent but that is besides the point.
this brings the bodyy story up to date and if he isnt the luckiest man around i dont know who is, he has danced on the edge of being kicked for a long time now and has always been bailed out last second by being a legends players, having one good tournament, taking the right side in a team issue or simply by there being someone more shit than him on the team. he still survives to this day as there have been no more G2 shuffles since the 3DMAX signing and who knows what the future will hold for him and G2
it is too early to say if JaCkz and Lucky will be good for G2 as it has been just one tournament and a qualifier so far, but if their current numbers are anything to go by, bodyy's time may be running out of his string of poor performances continues.
i hope you all enjoy this thread, a quick message about the whole mibr, Liquid and whatever other organisations are involved in the whole -tarik -stew +taco +kng who the fuck knows lol nothing is confirmed, i may or may not make a thread about it depending on if i can get through one paragraph without insulting fallen and getting myself banned again. but as it stands i have no plans to make a thread about it really.