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Happy | 
France happy_2_major_niko_0_major 
hello lady and gentlemen of, before you all think you are experiencing the deja vu, you are not do not worry, i made this thread a few days ago but it was removed by some angry admin, i spoke to our overlord Mr Jonathan E. and he kindly gave me back the text within the thread. here you go i have been absent for a while for my brain is getting weak in my old age and i cant think of good threads to make, i did think of this thread quite a few weeks ago but my hyper busy schedule and laziness made it so it took me a while to get my lazy ass to actually write this thread, without further ado my friends, i hope you like this thread today we will be discussing who i think to be, the luckiest man in France, that man being Alexandre "bodyy" Pianaro currently playing for French mathmaking team, G2. now please ladies and gentlemen put your pitchforks down and dont steal my baguettes, you are probably thinking "Mr happy_2_major_niko_0_major you are retard lol, G2 and bodyy is far from lucky, they are terrible team" which to an extent is true, they are a trash team and bodyy is not lucky in that sense. but bodyy is lucky as he has avoided the sticky French shuffle for so long and being ousted down to the depths of LDLC once again. to this very day bodyy continues to be under contract from G2 and has supposedly signed a contract for another 2 years meaning his pockets will remain rather heavy for quite a while. bodyy will continue to collect his T H I C C paychecks from this moron ocelote for quite a while. so now we have the idea out of the way we must first look at the history of bodyy, what he does and how he has stuck around for so long. bodyy first came in to the tier 1 scene when he was picked up by G2 in pretty early 2016, he was picked up to replace bumbling idiot Kévin "Ex6TenZ" Droolans, who, to this day still doesnt know his way around de_dust2 and still picks nuke against Astralis, regardless of this, G2 realised that this gold nova was getting their squad nowhere and so picked up some young talent in the form of bodyy from LDLC at the time. he was alright i suppose, G2 were still a barely tier 1 team but they did manage to win 1 tournament against Luminosity during ECS finals season 1 which was pretty fucking funny to be honest. the world continued as normal however and G2 continued about their daily business until early 2017 when the world stood still as the new French superteam was unveiled and BOY where they a force to be reckoned with (for about 5 minutes) Richard "shox" Papillon, bodyy continued in G2 and Kenny "kennyS" Schrub, Dan "apEX" Madesclaire and Nathan "NBK-" Schmitt joined from the crumbling EnVyUs. G2 won a few tournaments here and there and bodyy was a pretty solid player, his aim was decent and he was a sick support player, you could be certain that when brain dead apEX rushed a site, there wouldnt be a CT on that site that could see shit because bodyy's flashbangs were always pretty solid. towards the end of the year it was clear to see that G2 were not the team that they were once hyped up to be. they rarely made it out of stages at tournaments and bodyy was very prone to poor individual performances. they had one chance to prove themselves and that was at the Boston 2018 major where they had a perfect run until they made it in to the legends stage where they fell 0-2 to the future champions Cloud9 in the quarter finals. now this here is what made bodyy so valuable at least for a little while, he held a major legend spot and G2 would have needed to keep at least 3 players from this legend roster to be allowed to head straight in to the challenger stage in the next major. this was the last straw for the team and they began to seek new leadership, the first to go was shox who supposedly beefed hard with NBK- all the time over leadership roles. Edouard "SmithZz" Dubourdeaux not wanting to be left with these savages, left with his best mate shox and they were benched. Oscar "mixwell" Cañellas or as i like to call him, career wasted. was picked up on trial after expressing that he wanted to play for a French team and was trialled at WESG, he did alright but ultimately decided this was not the right path for him, he bid farewell to G2 just as shox and SmithZz came back ready to put one of the final nails in the coffin for G2, NBK- and apEX were benched allowing shox to bring in Ex6TenZ to IGL as he wanted and SmithZz was allowed to play again but to this day i think that should honestly be considered illegal. now this here honestly didnt have too much to do with bodyy and at this point he probably was the weakest link on the team, but rather than G2 removing their worst player they instead kicked 2 of their best and this honestly made no sense to me, if their plan all along was to bring shox back, they would still have been able to keep their major legend spot as either NBK- or apEX would still have occupied one and they could still have bought both SmithZz and Ex6TenZ back in for some reason. fast forward a little bit more until the FACEIT 2018 major where G2 used their free pass in to the challenger stage and fought valiantly narrowly taking down the absolute titans such as HellRaisers and Cloud9 who had like 3 players. they met their match when they took on a very angry FaZe in the final round of the swiss system in the 2-2 game and were beaten 2-0 and were eliminated, keep track here kids because this now means that they are no longer legends so anyone and everyone is up for a kicking right, including everyones favourite bodyy who has been dancing on the thinnest ice for over a year now. in late November another shuffle happened with the unlikely 3DMAX as Audric "JaCkz" Jug and Lucas "Lucky" Chastang took the place of Ex6TenZ and SmithZz who as far as im concerned are fucking finished now, there is no chance of redemption for these men, especially seeing as i tweeted at SmithZz telling him to enjoy retirement and he liked it, i would have done the same for Ex6TenZ but he blocked me a long time ago. as the name of their new player suggests bodyy was counting his Lucky stars as well as his paycheck as he had avoided yet another kick. truth be told at this point he was the 3rd best player on his team and SmithZz and Ex6TenZ are such dreadful players bodyy actually looked pretty decent but that is besides the point. this brings the bodyy story up to date and if he isnt the luckiest man around i dont know who is, he has danced on the edge of being kicked for a long time now and has always been bailed out last second by being a legends players, having one good tournament, taking the right side in a team issue or simply by there being someone more shit than him on the team. he still survives to this day as there have been no more G2 shuffles since the 3DMAX signing and who knows what the future will hold for him and G2 it is too early to say if JaCkz and Lucky will be good for G2 as it has been just one tournament and a qualifier so far, but if their current numbers are anything to go by, bodyy's time may be running out of his string of poor performances continues. i hope you all enjoy this thread, a quick message about the whole mibr, Liquid and whatever other organisations are involved in the whole -tarik -stew +taco +kng who the fuck knows lol nothing is confirmed, i may or may not make a thread about it depending on if i can get through one paragraph without insulting fallen and getting myself banned again. but as it stands i have no plans to make a thread about it really. -happy_2_major_niko_0_major
2018-12-16 11:54
Iceland fatboislim 
2018-12-16 11:56
Ye please
2018-12-16 11:56
basically bodyy should have been kicked a long time ago and hes only still around due to fortunate circumstances
2018-12-16 12:00
Guessing he might be gay? Seems like with smiths, shox, kenny and them that they wanted a full gay team. Nothing against gay people and more power to them but it's not working out.
2018-12-19 12:14
xaN | 
France TARES 
2018-12-21 10:28
ZywOo | 
France KJNZ 
Tldr means?
2018-12-25 13:21
Iceland fatboislim 
too long, didnt read.
2018-12-25 13:29
s1mple | 
Portugal gasimo17 
2018-12-16 11:57
#8 Mr gasimo17
2018-12-16 17:05
Bulgaria omaiguudness 
Always enjoy reading this for some reason
2018-12-16 11:57
glad to hear this Mr omaiguudness
2018-12-16 19:58
Germany zeolikk 
nice thread as always
2018-12-16 12:03
thank you thank you
2018-12-17 11:24
Turkey b130610016 
No way im reading this
2018-12-16 12:03
why not Mr b130610016
2018-12-17 14:09
tldr, but u are a hero for writing it, gj
2018-12-16 14:03
#8 for tldr and thank
2018-12-17 14:31
Enjoyed the read :) .
2018-12-16 15:41
thank you Mr Olof_is_the_GOAT
2018-12-17 16:23
2018-12-17 11:29
2018-12-17 19:39
2018-12-30 20:03
thanks for your 200 iq threads keep them coming pls
2018-12-17 11:36
glad you enjoy this read brother
2018-12-18 12:07
Europe _jUNGLE 
THICC thread, and bodyy is prolly lucky like you said, he's been given way too many chances to prove himself - eventually he did it He's becoming a xyp9x of G2. Solid support player and can get open frags. You can see it when everyone else in the team chokes , he's getting dem kills and dragging the team to comeback He got good and I respect it
2018-12-17 11:40
fair enough my friend
2018-12-18 12:35
2018-12-17 11:40
#8 Mr Proove_yourself
2018-12-18 13:48
thx for read always a pleasure i only didnt understand "Oscar "mixwell" Cañellas or as i like to call him, career wasted. " but i guess u can see it like that if u only watch international scene
2018-12-17 11:52
2018-12-18 16:31
The man was on a tier1 team and insane. Now he on tier5 wasting his talent/career
2018-12-25 17:50
yes i know old optic was top 1 na team full of superstars but i guess he had enough, and since he left people in spain blamed him for leaving the scene and abandoning it, he now wants to make things right getting 4 decent spanish players
2018-12-25 17:57
this was pretty fun and entertaining made my morning dookie
2018-12-17 14:18
very happy to hear this :)
2018-12-18 20:51
Mixwell said that he didn´t want to stayed in G2 because the environment was bad and he had other offers. He said that there was so much rage in the team between some of the french players.
2018-12-18 21:02
there probably was lmao
2018-12-19 15:20
Russia KS_areztiab 
did the admin get punished for falsely removing your thread? xaxaxaxaxa
2018-12-19 11:57
i wouldnt assume so, Mr Jonathan E. said as far as he could tell it was removed because it was vague and i should "get to the point". Mr Jonathan E. is pretty ruthless but he was willing to give me back this thread so he cant have seen anything really wrong with it. i guess admin has personal vendetta against me :( dont know what admin it was btw, i didnt think to ask and i doubt i would have been told anyway
2018-12-19 12:09
Russia KS_areztiab 
Just check your profile after thread deleted/banned))) i know how it feels many admins bullied me on previous accounts xaxaxaxaxax((
2018-12-19 12:16
I read Tbh I think that G2 of Boston could have been a decent top 5 team, which would have continued to win a few tournaments here and there With a 3-man leadership (Apex Nbk Shox) they looked solid, and Shox was insane at this tournament I really think that they should have stayed like this, but Shox was tired of playing especially with Apex the monkey, he didn't like his style in game but also his way of life outside the game Honestly, to me, Shox is the one who made the first wrong move Bodyy's not great, we all know that, but he's decent enough to be in a top 5 team which can win tournaments
2018-12-19 12:45
fair enough
2018-12-20 10:15
Nice rename
2018-12-20 10:16
i am Mr happy_2_major_niko_0_major's cousin you see :) *wink* *wink* your name says you are not naive? :)
2018-12-20 10:55
2018-12-19 14:22
ty ty
2018-12-20 11:30
Honestly its incredible you actually take your time to do these threads Respect
2018-12-20 10:59
thank ;)
2018-12-20 14:04
i think decisions in fr. cs are not skill based. just look at the player base, they have 2-3 top 8 teams in theory. french scene is more like one of these " the bachelor/ the bachelorette" or "big brother" shows, full with 2 IQ blondes with silicon breasts hating and bitching around. after years, options for new teams are limited because the players are divided by many fronts and they have to infuse "fresh blood" in this circle. you cant analyse this with skill as argument!
2018-12-20 11:11
very nice anecdote ;)
2018-12-21 09:49
Poland Kain_aj 
I love u Mr.Happy_2_major Do You consider writing a thread about "easter career" Mr.Mixwell cause he was on a great track back then in OpTic
2018-12-20 14:18
nah mixwell boring
2018-12-21 10:24
you know there are things on the internet called blogs?
2018-12-21 10:25
yes, why you are tell me this
2018-12-21 11:46
luckier than sixer?
2018-12-21 10:30
damn thats a tough one
2018-12-21 16:58
2018-12-22 11:33
2018-12-25 12:56
2018-12-25 16:47
Lithuania Sedge 
fucking hell
2018-12-22 11:35
what is wrong Mr Sedge?
2018-12-22 12:34
Lithuania Sedge 
thats so long, did you actually type it up?
2018-12-22 13:02
of course :)
2018-12-22 22:30
Sorry I don't speak French
2018-12-25 13:23
i arent write this in french though?
2018-12-25 14:39
Pardon no par le vous francais
2018-12-25 17:24
Lithuania arres 
I dont understand why mods are deleting your threads. Do they even explain why? Your threads are both most interesting and entertaining thing in hltv forums. I always get baffled when I read that. Are long texts forbidden or what? Or maybe they hate you and are deleting it by hiding behind some curse words you said? That would be sad to see you go because of that if that pisses you off to that point.
2018-12-25 13:25
thank for your support Mr arres. Mr Jonathan E. said my original thread was probably deleted because it didnt "get to the point quick enough" because apparently now its a bannable offence to right too much while making a thread saying that all muslims should die is completely fine. Mr Jonathan E. obviously thought there was nothing wrong with the thread as he did give the text back to me but he did warn me that i must tread carefully if i am to recreate the thread. i try to be respectful when making my threads but you cant be dishonest when writing these so if i need to say a player is shit to get my point across, i will just say it.
2018-12-25 15:00
2018-12-25 13:34
#8 Mr Fernando_Mendes
2018-12-25 15:28
China randomnolife 
2018-12-25 13:56
#8 my friendo Mr randomnolife
2018-12-25 16:28
China randomnolife 
nice conclusion I agree with bodyy is gay
2018-12-25 16:53
thank :)
2018-12-25 17:18
Brazil Apol0_1705 
I always like to read you threads mr happy_2_major_niko_0_major Please do the mibr one
2018-12-25 17:09
maybe maybe
2018-12-26 13:07
I fully agree, bodyy should've been gone a long time ago, and ScreaM should have been thrown into the mix of the G2/Vitality. Also, good read, your threads always cheer me up. P.S. You should make one about how FalleN betrayed Stewie and Tarik, even though they betrayed his country just for his team, which makes FalleN the most two-faced and untrustworthy person in all of CS:GO's scene.
2018-12-25 17:22
if i make this thread about fallen i get ban
2018-12-25 18:20
Don't offend him and that won't happen :)
2018-12-26 00:20
thats the problem u see, you have to be truthful sometimes
2018-12-26 10:57
Just tone it down a notch
2018-12-26 14:47
BTW, wrong account
2018-12-26 00:20
xd u got me
2018-12-26 00:57
Dosia | 
Hungary Joco413 
The problem with french teams is that they have too much drama between the players instead of them actually focusing on playing and making their team play better.
2018-12-25 17:42
+1 they are always acting like bad sitcom
2018-12-26 14:05
2018-12-26 11:04
What u want to know?
2018-12-26 16:58
TL DR but i saw boddy mentioned so i guess its negative so for that +1 Mr.happy_2_major_niko_0_major
2018-12-26 11:15
thank Mr OllieMaN
2018-12-27 10:53
zews | 
United Kingdom h4mm|vIp 
Good thread, perfectly made and opinion has been agreed upon
2018-12-26 15:58
too kind Mr h4mm
2018-12-27 13:50
zews | 
United Kingdom h4mm|vIp 
Check news :(
2018-12-27 14:29
no one will even read this lol, i just read 3 first lines and closed, cya my baguette friend
2018-12-27 14:34
shame, its a good read Mr kqlllle
2018-12-28 11:22
i go use my dildo in my ass, see you
2018-12-29 02:07
2018-12-29 10:28
Slovakia GoodGuyJNG 
Are you really expecting me to read all that? WTF
2018-12-28 11:24
sure, you didnt do that?
2018-12-29 23:56
good read!
2018-12-28 11:33
ty Mr HLTVisNotReal glad you enjoyed
2018-12-30 12:35
United Kingdom Lcheste3 
This is the best HLTV post I have ever read.
2018-12-28 12:35
glad to hear this
2018-12-30 15:25
its to see u again friend edit : bodyy butomfragging against silvers on 1vs 1 servers
2018-12-30 20:07
+1 my friend
2018-12-31 14:26
why did u unfriend me on steam ?
2018-12-31 16:59
I clear out my friends list all the time, add me again if you like my friend :)
2018-12-31 18:13
2018-12-30 20:07
2019-01-01 12:37
bump lul
2019-01-01 12:58
2019-01-01 14:11
2019-01-03 16:06
2019-01-06 20:37
Great read like the old one aka xizt thread
2019-01-01 14:13
ty ty
2019-01-01 16:45
Germany Fabbsen 
I appreciate all the effort you put into your threads man. A good one as always sir
2019-01-01 15:34
ty Mr Fabbsen, glad you enjoyed this read
2019-01-03 11:36
Someone has to jerk kennyS off if Le Sniper is bored. Im joking he sucks him off (bodyy gay and kennyS use it to clean his Baguette)
2019-01-10 22:49
United States Venom_ 
Nice read 8/10
2019-01-10 22:52
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