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Self Improvement
Australia BotTheRookie 
Wonderful people of HLTV, what should I work on ? I go to the gym (So don't mention that) Eat somewhat okay (planned breakfasts, kind of get lost what to eat for lunch & dinner most days) Have no real friends (It seems like) (They would talk to me if they're having issues etc but they would never offer to hang out with me, so fuck them) Spend most days pretty meh, I am generally a positive person and try to be positive at all times, but my situation just get's to me and I end up feeling like shit most the day. (No one cares, I know) Don't have a car yet, don't do much socially (I want to but as I said my friends wouldn't invite and even don't respond when I ask) Tbh so sick of life at this point, looking for an escape. Can't rely on other people (socially) to help me because no one cares. Want some things I can improve about myself so I can feel better and no one feel like I need "friends" etc to be happy. TL;DR: Not happy with how I am, don't feel like I have any real friends. Want suggestions for how I can improve myself (even little suggestions are appreciated) Thanks
2019-02-19 09:23
#1
clowN | 
Nepal uaresuck 
ul LMAO Yours, Official HLTV Bully
2019-02-19 09:27
Thank you for bump my friend
2019-02-19 09:27
#3
ZywOo | 
France bjjthibz 
turn off PC, gtfo see your friends. If they are not happy to see you, find real friends, they are not.
2019-02-19 09:27
Yes I have no problem turning off PC, however I have only made friends mainly through school and university. Now that I don't consider these people to be my true friends where would I go to find said "friends"
2019-02-19 09:28
#7
ZywOo | 
France bjjthibz 
i met most of my best friends at school 15 years ago. and 3 more came into our group from work. It's not because you met them in a boring place that they can't become real friends.
2019-02-19 09:30
Oh I know that, but I'm saying, I don't know where / how to go make friends with random people. All the "friends" I do have are from school or uni etc.. and they're the ones that don't make me feel like they really are my friends.
2019-02-19 09:32
Join a sports club or two, preferably one that practices a team sport. Be funny and interesting, confident in yourself, and make sure your appearance is appropriate.
2019-02-19 09:48
I will look into the sports club, I wanted to avoid sports because cardio bad for gym gains (which I am dedicated to) but seeing as the gym can't take away these shitty emotions I might look into it. Hard to be interesting when I don't know what to do etc, that's what I'm looking for, self improvement so I become interesting, at the moment I am just some lonely friendless trash that doesn't do anything. Appearance (I wouldn't say I'm ugly or good looking, I don't believe this is an issue)
2019-02-19 09:52
If gym is your dedication, then try finding a gym buddy. That's a bit harder to find, because quite some people like training alone. But gym and nutrition is a good starting point for conversations. If you're dedicated to that, it probably also means that you only drink alcohol in strong moderation if at all, which excludes you from probably the most social activity there is among the youths, drinking. So you'll have to build bonds with people that follow a similar lifestyle than you. That's the key anyway, similarity. If you really feel stuck, the best way to improve your social skills is probably to travel abroad for a month or two by yourself.
2019-02-19 10:02
Yeah you got the whole drinking think right. It was never a big hobby of mine anyway, found it to be a waste of money etc. I like the idea of the going abroad thing though, sounds very interesting.
2019-02-19 10:26
Last year i decided to say fuck it and ended up travelling for 5 months,Even though i went to party ,I didnt drink much/at all,And just had fun and this was the best thing that i ever did,Met alot of people,Sadly no one that lives close to me.
2019-02-19 12:57
Oh yeah nice, wouldn't you have to save a lot of money to do something like that? I would definitely be interested in something like that.
2019-02-19 13:18
Yeah,I was saving up to visit my gf there anyway from the last time i was there,But we broke up before i went so i just said fuck it and met alot of amazing people,Had some crazy times,And might have ended it with a new girlfriend at the end too...
2019-02-19 13:22
Damn bro it sounds amazing, how tf you just go meet random people in a random country? I am not like this I don't think.
2019-02-19 13:34
At home i wasnt like that either,I did tours,Went to social/party hostels and went to pub crawls/went to clubs.. Wasnt just a normal country,But its kind of known to be the start point of doing that kind of stuff(backpacking)
2019-02-19 14:02
If u need more info just lmk.
2019-02-19 20:56
What country was it that you went to?
2019-02-21 08:16
I started out in Thailand,But also went to Cambodia,Malaysia & Singapore.
2019-02-21 11:10
#48
 | 
France nico0o 
just play center on a basketball team and revel in your gains
2019-02-19 10:37
I'm only 5'9 :(
2019-02-19 10:40
#15
flusha | 
Germany Kupferr 
As stupid as this might sound, you could try using apps that organize social gatherings. With a bit of luck you meet a nice person there that then can introduce you to other friends of his/her. That is pretty much (I actually got introduced to them through a friend who used such an app) how I met 2 of my now best friends.
2019-02-19 09:43
What is the name of said magical app?
2019-02-19 09:44
#71
flusha | 
Germany Kupferr 
there is probably a lot of them, but my friend used "meetup" I think
2019-02-19 11:02
Work on getting a gf if you'd like to have one. This adds a lot to your desire for social interaction + you can get to know her friends
2019-02-19 10:37
Had one, not sure if I'm ready for another relationship tbh
2019-02-19 10:40
Then you're probably not yet ready. Jobs & universities are always a good starting point for finding new friends. just overcome your concerns and start talking to strangers you consider sympathic. I heard you aus bois tend to not be so socially introverted as many europeans/germans tend to be.
2019-02-19 10:45
Nah I think you're just thinking of the idiots you see on tv that are considered bogans here. We aren't all like that, I have some respect for myself, apparently that isn't "cool" though ahaha
2019-02-19 11:05
Haha ok. I was thinking of this dude: youtube.com/watch?v=N-0pzYPmLyg
2019-02-19 11:08
Ahahaha, yeah I can't say we're all like this. Pretty sure this dude would get bashed depending on which train he caught.
2019-02-19 11:09
#5
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Estonia Mrkruvi 
I feel u bro! Try maybe finding new friends
2019-02-19 09:29
#4
2019-02-19 09:31
#12
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Estonia Mrkruvi 
Maybe try finding some in games and slowly start making stronger bonds with them and then boom! you got yourself some new friends
2019-02-19 09:32
Friends over the internet don't feel the same, you very rarely can hang out with them (location wise) and I don't want to spend my time 24/7 on the computer in order to stop feeling alone. I just want to work on myself so I am happy with myself
2019-02-19 09:33
I know you might've heard this a lot but try to go out and make new friends? There's bound to be others who share your interests and/or want to do the same things as you want to do. Another thing you could pick up is a new hobby c: It might help~! I don't have a lot of time to add anything since i'm rather busy but I hope you manage to find the answer you're looking for~!
2019-02-19 09:29
Yeah I've heard the "try and find new friends" #4 answers that Tbh I'm so lost I don't even know what I'm interested in, I devoted a lot of myself to my previous girlfriend and once we broke up I have just felt so empty, can't seem to find something I really enjoy
2019-02-19 09:30
Ill be your friend mate lmk 😙
2019-02-19 09:30
For sure, you live in Bulgaria for real?
2019-02-19 09:32
Yes i know difference is big But a real friend ship has no boundaries My english is not perfect but well get along 😉
2019-02-19 10:03
That is completely fine, I agree. Got snap chat by any chance?
2019-02-19 10:39
No i dont use those modern porno chats 😉😊
2019-02-19 11:27
AHaha, what about steam?
2019-02-19 13:13
yo buddy dm me so i can add u in insta and steam if u want to ofc (im half Bulgarian so)
2019-02-19 13:36
Hmm find yourself a "thing you would like to do and be happy when you do". For instance, read fantasy novels? Paint? Also you can use your "not so real" friends to find new ones. Who care what they think, just use them. Be pragmatic little bit.
2019-02-19 09:51
I have tried to take up reading, but not so much fantasy, more so psychology books on the mind etc, I find it interesting but as a person who never read much I found it hard to stick to it. I would also like to find things that make me more interesting, I cannot use my "friends" because they sort of hang out in a social circle, so I couldn't use them to find new ones, plus I don't do anything with them, hence them hardly being friends in my eyes. (Yes I ask, they never offer either)
2019-02-19 10:03
#20
 | 
Europe hltv007 
It depends-what is your character? Only you know it-are you attention seeker,or you cant stand loneliness-if yes-you need friends for sure.If you are not attention seeker and you can stand loneliness and be able to entertain yourself without the need of friends then you don't need any friends.
2019-02-19 09:54
Not an attention seeker, just want to feel like I am worth something. Yeah I can't stand loneliness, it sucks feeling like no one cares about you etc. I wouldn't mind doing nothing if I thought there were people that cared about me etc, but no one does. I'm the type of person that wants to be adventurous etc.. but isn't, I much rather doing stuff with a person than by myself and currently.. that person doesn't exist.
2019-02-19 10:05
#40
 | 
Europe hltv007 
If you are about to go to university-this is the place where you can find many many people and some/1-2/ will turn out to be your real friends not pretending to be friends.
2019-02-19 10:28
"make new friends" no shit sherlocks.
2019-02-19 09:58
Yeah but I appreciate their input
2019-02-19 10:03
So you got the gym, that's 1 thing. What else is there In your life? Where are you growing? You can't drive. Learn to drive. If you haven't got a job, get a job or choice some education to get a job you want. Try and have a few things going in your life. Like gym, friends, work, hobbies, building for the future. So if 1 week you do shit in one of them you got the other things to balance it out. Also if you gone through a break up where she was your whole world. That sucks and is very are to realign your life. You probably still think about her alot. So learn from it. You want a relationship where you can do you. She can do you ;) and she can do herself. And you can do her... giggity. It's not easy but nothing worth it in life is. Go out there my friend and do the things you want to do and are passionate about, if u haven't got a passion. Just choose something you think you like and start doing it and as u learn it, it will become a passion. If your doing the things you like and are putting yourself in social situations you will find like minded people that want the best for you. It can be lonely being so awesome but eventually you find some people as awesome as you and you can hang out. Remember you are responsible for your life so go out there and live it. Peace
2019-02-19 09:59
#23
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United Kingdom munt_ 
Gay, fuck it all and play cs theres no point in living life
2019-02-19 10:01
Learning to drive, almost at the point where I can take my driver's test. I go to uni, but that's not interesting (socially) and the semester hasn't started yet. I'm looking for things that make me interesting and that is fun, I don't want to finish uni in 2 years and be like.. I'm way back at the start and have no friends. Yeah, I wouldn't say the relationship is a big reason for this, it's more so because I lived and spent every day with her.. that when I don't live or have her anymore it's eye opening to see how fake everyone else is. Beforehand I wouldn't feel alone because I had her, she was real. I also invested a lot into that etc, now it's gone, I'm left feeling that I have no one else, no interests (finished school, went straight to uni) feel like I'm boring as fuck (I am tbh)
2019-02-19 10:13
Seems like you have taken a massive blow to the self confidence. Just get out there mate. I'm sure your a great person just got to realise it happens and learn from it. Time will heal it and once you get out there and find some super awesome people and a new awesome girlfriend it will change. The only way to change is to change yourself and you are in control of that. It may seem now that all is shit, everyone is fake , the earth is flat and Jews run the media but in time you will realise that everyone is doing the best they can right now. The best way to make friends is to be a friend. So be a friend to people and soon you will find who is worth your time and who isn't. Good luck out there. Life isn't easy, relationships are a challenge and happiness is an illusion. You can't be happy all the time. Get up, brush it off, get months gym,get your body fit. get your education get your mind fit. Get out there and party and get your social skills up.
2019-02-19 10:46
+1
2019-02-19 11:01
You can make new friends by searching people with same hobbys on internet that lives near you. And you can also try Tinder or apps like that, if you are lucky you will fuck and if you're not you will get new friends
2019-02-19 10:07
Actually got Tinder just to talk to people, didn't work, people on Tinder are fake as fuck, they're literally all up themselves I guess? Example: "Looking for genuine people" but if you don't start the conversation with a pickup line to their liking you aint getting anywhere. (wtf) Not the type of person who just wants to fuck random strangers, that ain't going to cure this feeling of amounting to nothing. (Like a band-aid solution) Honestly going straight from school to uni and not being involved in school sports after grade 7 has left me feeling hobby-less, I literally couldn't tell you my hobbies.. I don't know myself
2019-02-19 10:16
just try to have a "mental break" its always a good idea when you are in that kind of situations
2019-02-19 13:30
How do I have a mental break?
2019-02-19 13:34
Define your goals and write them down.
2019-02-19 10:09
Goal 1: Get my license - Working on it Goal 2: Get some friends - No idea how Goal 3: Be interesting - Need car most of the time, also no clue how Goal 4: Find Hobby - Honestly I have gone through so much online "Hobby lists" and nothing Goal 5: Don't be so sad - Complete previous 4 goals in order to achieve this
2019-02-19 10:20
Please: read this comment slowly, and try to understand while youre reading - I have posted these kinds of threads before and always get rushed reading comments because brain is weird idk really. Just go slow and read carefully I guess Goal 1: you are actively working on your goal, and getting closer to it step by step. You're doing well, keep consisent and you will reach your goal soon. Goal 2: It is very difficult to write out a goal concerning socializing/friends etc, because there is no parameter that can measure friends. You said youre going to uni and semester starts soon, most universities offer beginners weeks where mentors (older students) take you around town for activities and chilling and shit. Usually pretty nice to go, so I can recommend, Would have certainly helped me if I went the first time I started university, and it really did the second time. Other than that, internet people can be friends, idk the people you play cs with or something. There are a lot of amateur clubs out there with nice people, maybe you can look into joining one of them as well (although it is quite hard to find one where you fit) Goal 3: No, you do not need a car to be interesting. Also, you do not want to be interesting, but content with yourself and your interests. The "interesting" is just how you come across to other people, and you cant do that without being content with yourself and your interests first. As youre here, I take it you like CS - be open about it, if someone asks what your hobbies are say CS esports and gym maybe? And if you dont say it in a nerdish way, I found that most people will actually pick up on it and be nice/interested. A friend of mine is a huge football nerd but I got him to watch CS/League of Legends with me every week and now hes kinda interested in it as well. Also, interests are not exclusively hobbies. I keep up with politics and economics for example because I like it and it gives me something meaningful beyond uni. Goal 4: CS is your hobby, gym is your hobby. Either go all out on those two, or try one of the many ways people in this thread have told you how you can find hobbies. As I said, when finding a hobby it is NOT about what others think when you mention your hobby, but whether you can be content with it (if your hobby is not something disgusting). Goal 5: You got it, my dude. Once your semester starts, go all out in uni. Be friendly, be talkative and most importantly: attend your fucking lectures. Attend every tutorial and peer group pracc you can somehow get your hands on, and go talk to people. Even if its just uni stuff at first, small talk is the literal basis to forming deeper bonds like friendship. I, too, felt really sad because I had no friends in my uni town (400km from home) too and was lonely as fuck. What fixed it for me is a mindset change that just came over time. I realized I wanted to be a more positive person and then just gradually started being more friendly towards anyone and everyone I would meet, even if I was feeling down at that moment. After a while, you can really notice yourself getting more positive and the responses and approaches you get become more positive as well. It is not easy, and youre gonna have to force yourself into this habit at first, but its so fucking worth it in the end. That said, if you achieve your other 4 goals it is certainly going to help a lot, and you should really stick to your goals. In the end, it really just comes down to you being happy with who you are. Nothing else, because everything else derives from that simple truth. If you want to talk any more or something feel free to reply and ill give you my steam or idk, dont know if hltv has message function, usually just lurk. Good luck, bro, I hope you can be happy soon.
2019-02-19 10:43
#74
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United Kingdom Peath 
Damn, I'm screenshotting this. This is some quality advice.
2019-02-19 11:06
Thanks, this is some solid advice. Tbh I don't have much passion for CS anymore, maybe 3 years ago. I just like browsing HLTV sometimes because some of the dumb threads make me laugh and some baiters are actually funny. In terms of games, yeah I probably find it pretty shameful for myself, but I'm working on that, given that I might try to join my Uni's Rainbow 6 team. I will certainly read over this a couple times in the future at least
2019-02-19 13:44
get friends on hltv play cs lose 16-0 yes
2019-02-19 10:11
Sounds accurate, however unfulfilling
2019-02-19 10:18
#32
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Other mikeyzyzz 
u could try a more social sport like boxing/kickboxing/bjj/football etc cuz in the gym its much harder to make friends
2019-02-19 10:12
I always wanted to do a martial arts etc, but wow are they so expensive. In terms of rent, food and all that, paying for a martial arts thing will make me broke, they're insanely expensive.
2019-02-19 10:22
+1 for going to the gym Maybe you should find more hobby’s like sports or instruments. It’s easy to make friends and meat other people in Sportclubs. And yeah be a little more confident, don’t be everyone’s bitch. Your cunt friends should want to hang out with YOU, not you with them, what would give them the privilege, to hang out with a guy as cool as you?
2019-02-19 10:14
Yeah I'm not their bitch, which is exactly why I'm aware they aren't real friends to me. I'm not going to chase after people who don't care about me, at the same time... There isn't anyone who seems like they do :/ Sports & Instruments.. I just don't know how to get into these, I never did as a kid and not it feels like I'm left out or something.
2019-02-19 10:46
You can always start :) I started playing the guitar this year and I’m 19. Also Sport is really fun, you just gotta Start it! It’s also healthy
2019-02-19 16:05
Yeah I've given instruments a shot, but sadly I can never really stick with it. I lose interest really quick, probably because I'm really bad at picking stuff up on them.
2019-02-21 08:17
#41
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Singapore repu1se 
Find a hobby you're interested in and get into it. It helps that I have passion in something other than video games, etc. Maybe try organizing or inviting your friends for stuff, instead of waiting for people to invite you. Take the initiative if you want your life to change. If you want to meet new people, join social events and groups, find a hobby that gets you out there with like-minded individuals.
2019-02-19 10:28
#42
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Germany Bier 
I'm quite the opposite tbh. I like beeing alone for myself sometimes, yet i make a lot with my friends (Mostly get drunk lol) But this is fine aswell and definitely better than the other way around E: have you made progress in the gym and are you a good student?
2019-02-19 10:36
Find something to connect with people, like a hobby or sport If you're really passionate about going to the gym and all that kinda stuff, maybe you could shoot your shot over there? Also what type of person are you generally around your friends/other people? And how old are you?
2019-02-19 10:35
#46
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Germany Bier 
Well hard to find friends in the gym. Easier in teamsports: handball/ football etc
2019-02-19 10:37
I mean, that's 100% true but you'll never know if you've never tried it ;)
2019-02-19 10:38
#57
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Germany Bier 
Well i'm going to the gym for a few years now and never talked to anyone more than a sentence. But i'm also not very talkactive in the gym due to focussing on my workout and the music in my ear
2019-02-19 10:43
Morning is the most improtant time, it sets up mind and body for rest of day. Start the morning right and the day will become so much better. What follows next is that you're most productive soon after morning, when you've fully woken up and energized. Then as the day goes by you keep getting more tired and worn out. So set up your plan on what would constitute your ideal morning that helps you to get in your best state. Some of things that are essential - drinking water instead of coffee to rehydrate yourself cleanly, eating good breakfast regardless if you're hungry or not, get some exercise done to make you feel your own body. As for you not feeling happy, it's because you're not setting realistic goals to clear for yourself. Self improvement doesn't have to be about chasing perfection that you can't attain, it's about making incremental changes and improvements that you can actually notice.
2019-02-19 10:36
penis surgery. big dick opens a lot of doors in life
2019-02-19 10:37
#53
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United Kingdom Peath 
Personally I'm an introvert, so I don't really like improving myself for the benefit of others, but I do like doing things for myself. Maybe you could pick up a hobby, like playing an instrument, or writing. Something creative. It might not help you make new friends (writing will definitely leave you alone most of the time), but it'll allow you to vent some of your emotions onto a page, or get out how you feel by learning certain songs. Also if your "friends" learn that you're picking up a new skill, it might pique their interest and get them to engage with you more.
2019-02-19 10:40
I think you know what to do, you just dont want to do it, but you know that only that thing will make you happy.
2019-02-19 10:41
Unfortunately not the case, I wish I knew what to do ahaha. Why wouldn't I want to do it? At this point I've changed so much from how I used to be.. to try and find something worth it
2019-02-19 10:47
Talk to people like you have known them forever and they are your friends by default. I've had many friends that only last for 15min 1-2 hours or one weekend depending on the sitation or event. There are alot of people who are open to meet new people. Friendship doesnt require daily interaction. I meet my best friends one or two times per year and we just continue from where we left off last time. I share my everyday problems with my wife and family. I wis you good luck in life. Think about everyhing that is good in your life and how you are lucky to be you. Play with your strenghts in life.
2019-02-19 10:42
youtube.com/watch?v=n3Xv_g3g-mA Just gonna leave this here. Really recommend for you to watch it since I can see a bit of similarities between you and me. Especially the end might help you think of your relationships differently.
2019-02-19 10:42
#59
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Russia mnight 
I can only share what I do during evenings: calisthenics, guitar, blender 3d, chess.com, russian literature. Sometimes I cook something nice and play cs:go only on weekend nights. Maybe you can pick something from it or come up with your own ideas. GL
2019-02-19 10:44
#63
Toxic | 
Croatia ^BCko^ 
Stop being a little bitch, blaming society or other people for your own lack of friends. Maybe you're a neckbeard sjw IRL and nobody wants to hang out with you because of that? I mean, i can only imagine how you were acting at highschool not to be able to make any real friends.
2019-02-19 10:46
Bad bait my friend. Not blaming anything or anyone. I said I don't feel like they are my real friends, how does that make it their fault? Not a neckbeard or SJW, it's not that they'd refuse to hang out with me, but would pick other plans over it. (I moved when I finished school, so I guess they're a lot more comfortable with my other friends.) Wasn't acting bad in high school at all, I'm the person that got along with literally everyone.
2019-02-19 10:49
#66
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Belarus @Bitly 
This guy's main hobby is CSGO, don't listen to him, he was a sad, lonely factory worker, but wasn't able to do even that correctly and got fired. Now his only "friends" are lonely depressed alcoholists from bars and streets.
2019-02-19 10:51
#68
Toxic | 
Croatia ^BCko^ 
Spotted the nerd that doesn't drink/go to a bar xoxo
2019-02-19 10:56
#69
 | 
Belarus @Bitly 
I actually go every weekend, still, I don't have sad alcoholists as friends because I don't go alone.
2019-02-19 10:57
#67
Toxic | 
Croatia ^BCko^ 
That is the problem, if you get along with literally everyone you clearly have no personality and jus tag along, change your behavior based on people you hang out with.
2019-02-19 10:56
Nope, I didn't say I was everyone's bitch, I said I got along with everyone (you said my behaviour must've been shit). It's like, I have "friends" but when you know that they use you or whatever you realise they aren't and I'd rather be alone than have friends like that, I just want to find decent people. You shouldn't have to change who you are based around the people I hang out with, I am friendly, fun etc, I just don't like retards who love themselves
2019-02-19 11:02
#81
Toxic | 
Croatia ^BCko^ 
Fair enough, i guess you were unlucky not to find a actually close friend. But still, people won't respect you that much if you don't say exactly what you mean to them.
2019-02-19 12:36
Oh I do say exactly what I mean to them, In fact I wouldn't be surprised if a lot of the reasons my friends don't invite me to things is because certain people in the group don't like me, because of saying what I mean.
2019-02-19 13:14
-1 here. jesus christ you actually think that you need to have conflicts with other people to have a personality? No wonder you hang out on hltv and making useless bad comments on other peoples threads. Jesus christ dude, go figure out ur life and then talk to others, not the other way around.
2019-02-19 11:07
#82
Toxic | 
Croatia ^BCko^ 
"you actually think that you need to have conflicts with other people to have a personality" Of course you need to have conflicts with people you disagree with, stop being a bitch.
2019-02-19 12:36
#77
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Poland FitPolak 
Read books Find 2 other passions Bring some value to people Start to save money for that car
2019-02-19 11:09
Find a passion. Not a hobby. Not a job. A passion. Something you can work on without feeling like you're working. The most successful people treat their occupation like this. You will also meet like minded people and make lasting friendships because you share the same passion and are on the same path.
2019-02-19 11:10
list of things to do: (CS) - go global - watch major - do pickems - try to assemble a CS team (life) - start skating - start surfing - start biking - start running - renew your spotify playlist - start studying for smth to get rich - start investing - travel (!!!!!) - go see your relatives These are individual things that will make you feel better and feel more alive over time, like smth you feel that you want to be better at. I surf, it works for me. I dont need anyone just myself and the waves. If the waves are firing its like im having the best day of my life.
2019-02-19 13:29
stay alive
2019-02-19 16:05
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