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Weird life cycle
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
My life is in a weird cicle since i hit 14. That's something like this - I feel depressed and angry for 5 months, then i feel fucking great for 2 months for no reason, it's like an euphoria that came out of nothing, i don't rage, i do good at CS, i'm laughing in school and so on, i feel like i've just cured my depression and anxiety by figuring out how life works ( again ) and what should i do and how should i think to remain happiness, but then, there's a single day which breaks me in a half and i can't handle anything, smallest things annoy me, when i go to sleep i think about my life and i cry 2 hours before i actually fall asleep. I'm just at the beginnining of this bad period and i already have suicidal thoughts ( again ) and i wanna drop school more than ever. I'm unsuccessfull in cs and in other aspects of life. I realized this weird cycle about 2 weeks ago. Is this normal for everyone?
2019-03-21 18:22
whats with that flair is this a bait
2019-03-21 18:24
#3
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
What do you consider a bait? The flair or the post?
2019-03-21 18:25
<3 monkey brazil imgur.com/g8Q0wHY
2019-03-21 18:29
#8
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
what a coincidence
2019-03-21 18:29
yeah
2019-03-21 18:30
flag checks out
2019-03-21 18:24
#4
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
brazil has kinda nice flag
2019-03-21 18:26
#5
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
Bump
2019-03-21 18:28
you are bipolar maybe
2019-03-21 18:29
#11
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
isnt bipolar more like daily experience?
2019-03-21 18:32
You're right that the cycles are shorter and more frequent It sounds like you need to recognise what causes you problems and what helps you stay happy and deal with life and try to stick in those patterns, making a conscious effort to do so - the bad months are awful im sure but in a way they're a gift as if you can get control of them it sounds like you'll live a very happy life
2019-03-21 18:35
maybe it is im not an expert. By the way i experience something similar as you. The only difference is i cant tell how long is the down and how long is the up but when im down it feels like everything is shit and when im up everything is amazing. Life is weird.
2019-03-21 18:37
#21
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
afterlife will be better
2019-03-21 18:46
i dont believe in afterlife so i recommend you to try to live your real life as happy as possible
2019-03-21 18:46
#28
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
By saying this i meant afterlife forever dark dream will be better than current life
2019-03-21 18:52
#34
JW | 
Sweden bolognese 
-1
2019-03-21 19:05
you're reaching puberty buddy
2019-03-21 18:31
#12
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
thanks im 12
2019-03-21 18:33
on a serious note, you're probably suffering from hypersensitivity OR bipolar disorder
2019-03-21 18:34
if you want advice - don't stay spend too much time on electronics and games if it draws you back (as if this comment will do something for you but wanted to say it)
2019-03-21 18:34
#14
JW | 
Sweden bolognese 
Whatever you do, don't end it, there is plenty of things you can do about whatever is bothering you Best thing to do is start doing things to improve your situation. You can also start seeing someone to talk about this (probably the best and most efficient way)
2019-03-21 18:34
#19
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
i've been thinking about meeting psychiatrist but im living in a city that's simply just a piece of shit and there are very few good doctors, my latest hospital experience proved me right Second thing is that i don't wanna my family to know about this
2019-03-21 18:40
#22
JW | 
Sweden bolognese 
Life ain't all glamorous, maybe you're just experiencing life like everyone else does eventually anyhow it's good to vent so if you don't talk to someone, or to your family, you better get it out somewhere to someone. HLTV is not gonna cut it. A good thing to do nonetheless is adapt healthy and beneficial habits when you're feeling like shit. Are you eating enough? Eating healthy? Are you exercising regularly? Sleeping minimum 8 hours? Doing tasks of responsibility during the day as well as fun activities that are meaningful or fun to you? Hang with people in your life? By getting back to the basics we usually solve most of the bad shit we have in life. But again, best thing is to actually see someone, as it is their profession to get you back on track. I just don't want to hear you talk about having suicidal thoughts. There is so many things that can cause the way you feel, and ending it is an option that shouldn't even be considered ever.
2019-03-21 18:46
#26
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
As i said before, ive been thinking about seeing psychiatrist but at the same time i don't think so that studied phrases will help me and eventually change my outlook. As for the daily life - i wake up at 7 am, go to shool, arrive home 4 pm, use my free time for PC, go sleep 11 pm, repeat 5 times per week I eat anything that my grandma prepares for the dinner
2019-03-21 18:51
#33
JW | 
Sweden bolognese 
Studied phrases? You talking about the psychiatrists? I'm sure that's just a little part of their actual help that you would receive Well, yeah, nothing much to say about that. Not like I do things much differently. But if that's how you want things to be, let them be that way. If you're time spent by the PC is just a hobby and nothing else, consider adding regular gym visits or some other activities to your schedule. Just don't expect change without actual change :)
2019-03-21 19:03
Thats teenage life for u bro, same happening with me, I even got anginophobia cause all of this fucking stress but hey, shit happens, we'll get over it bro
2019-03-21 18:36
#20
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
all i can say is gl
2019-03-21 18:43
Do sports, it releases natural chemicals that make you feel better in your daily life. I have done sports since I was 4, I am now 22. There was a period when I started engineering at 20 that I didn't train at all. I go super depressed and did not have that same level of base happiness. It even kept going after I stopped engineering. When I started training again the rest of my life just worked out. Try it. Do team sports though, don't go to the fucking gym, it's lame.
2019-03-22 07:57
#24
cromen | 
Denmark ilnert 
> i do good at CS > I'm unsuccessfull in cs
2019-03-21 18:48
#27
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
You didn't even read the whole text, did you?
2019-03-21 18:52
#25
ozzy | 
Russia osbourne 
Just drink hot water
2019-03-21 18:49
I am sure this happens to 40% of the population, it's normal, a process of learning about life
2019-03-21 18:54
#30
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
I guess no one from my environment learns life then
2019-03-21 18:58
#31
 | 
Finland Smoonah 
sounds like SADS.
2019-03-21 19:00
#32
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
SADS?
2019-03-21 19:01
#35
 | 
Finland Smoonah 
"Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a type of depression that's related to changes in seasons — SAD begins and ends at about the same times every year. If you're like most people with SAD, your symptoms start in the fall and continue into the winter months, sapping your energy and making you feel moody." My uncle had it and was put under artificial light during winter months.
2019-03-21 19:15
#38
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
I felt good in january and february
2019-03-21 19:54
#57
 | 
Finland Smoonah 
then it's probably hormones.
2019-03-21 21:00
#58
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
i hope so
2019-03-21 21:01
Who the fuck do you think you are with these idiotic problems and reasonings? Think of people who are really "depressed". Go off.
2019-03-21 19:33
#37
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
i wish u all the best, gl finding toilet of ur life
2019-03-21 19:52
Reported You have brain same as that of your flair
2019-03-21 19:58
#40
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
#37
2019-03-21 19:58
I know you don't have any arguments to say. Visible from#37 itself. Just for people like you, I really think there is a mental drawback in people from Africa
2019-03-21 20:02
Nothing normal u might have depression, or bipolar or schizophrenia
2019-03-21 19:59
#48
 | 
Brazil xhrp 
He is probably bipolar, Ik cuz I am bipolar too xd
2019-03-21 20:40
i kind hate life, i was bullied on school cause i was short and fatty :/
2019-03-21 21:12
#43
 | 
Czech Republic merkyG 
same here, music helps me go through these times
2019-03-21 20:04
#46
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
ye music is cool
2019-03-21 20:36
You have manic depression. Also, how old are you? I'm getting the impression "when you were 14" is not 10 years ago, is it? Lol. Grow the fuck up kid.
2019-03-21 20:09
#45
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
Im 18 oldman.
2019-03-21 20:36
We've all been there dude. Everyone has had their fair share of shit when they were between 12-20. At some point you're either gonna convince yourself you're depressed and be stuck in that loop forever, or you'll break free and realize the only things that'll make you feel shitty is mundane crap like breaking up with your gf or the inevitable death of your parents 'n shit like that. Good luck regardless. And don't let these other pathetic assholes tell you you're fucked in the head or whatever. Every symptom these days has a long list of diagnostics to it.
2019-03-21 20:49
I'm well in my twenties and I still have symptoms similar to what he described, although little less severe. It doesn't always go away, you just learn to live with it.
2019-03-22 07:25
#47
 | 
Poland FitPolak 
Training and psychologist, ez solutiion
2019-03-21 20:38
#50
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
what kind of training
2019-03-21 20:44
#53
 | 
Poland FitPolak 
Any kind of strenght training, whether* weights or bodyweight.
2019-03-21 20:48
#55
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
how do i fix mental issues with gym
2019-03-21 20:53
#56
 | 
Poland FitPolak 
Gym makes you hungry more > more food, more micronutrients > better health and feeling. Endorfins from post workout make you happy af, you will be addicted to progress. Not to mention how it skyrocket the confidence. I could write the entire essay about it, but the things mention above are one of best reasons to do the gym.
2019-03-21 20:56
+1 to what FitPolak just said. I have the same experience as you that during my teens I started to have these "cycles" of feeling good and bad. I don't think it counts as manic depression or being bipolar as for me because the feelings are not really extreme. Yes, I have thought about suicide, but was never close to actually do it. My "manic" phase is just feeling euphoric, not some crazy over the top stuff that I know some people could do when they're manic. I don't think you can ever cure yourself completely, but you can control your life in a way so your condition is not worse. There is medication for depression, but as it eases your negative felings, it also dulls your positive feelings and this is something I would not like for myself. The worst thing I did was turn to drugs and alcohol. After maybe 5-7 years of heavy partying, trying to fuck every chick and live the "hedonistic lifestyle" I got sick of it and stopped. Now I'm at the gym 3 times a week and run/swim 3-4 times a week and I have to say I feel great. There is nothing better for your mental health than taking good care of your body. Eat good nutritious and fresh food etc.
2019-03-22 08:39
#49
 | 
Denmark Xipingu 
Bipolar disorder in development, it sounds like. That, or rapid serious returning depression. Both are pretty major ass in regards to living a proper life.
2019-03-21 20:44
#51
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
how do i fix it
2019-03-21 20:45
#61
 | 
Denmark Xipingu 
It’s difficult, but I’d say you have 3 options. 1. Therapy (choose wisely, some “professionals” sucks at their job). 2. Try to fight it away, by surrounding yourself with friends, hobbies etc - can work if you are strong enough. 3. Medicine. But this is dangerous, a lot of pills and other stuff are filled with trash that might end your depression, but then will cause other stupid problems.
2019-03-22 04:58
#65
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
Hopefully drinking with friends these holidays will help me long term
2019-03-22 07:16
#54
 | 
Poland Twoj_Stary 
i have the same situation like you
2019-03-21 20:50
my life is like whole winter = depressed, eating a lot spring = happy and motivated to anything, i start running again etc summer = very lazy but happy also sleepy (idk why xd) autumn = a bit depressed, waiting for winter holidays xd
2019-03-21 21:04
#63
gla1ve | 
Denmark flapdur 
+1 normal
2019-03-22 05:19
#62
gla1ve | 
Denmark flapdur 
I think there is a good chance that you can learn to manage your moods, so youre not hyper or depressed. Screen time and sleep are factors, maybe even your diet. No coffee, sugar or screen time 1 hour before youre supposed to sleep should improve the quality of your sleep. A professional may help you. Maybe you need medication, maybe it´s life style issues. But your problems can also be just part of your development.
2019-03-22 05:18
#64
shox | 
Indonesia songokong 
I feel you. I know how it feels and I'm diagnosed as bipolar. I really recommend seeing a psychiatrist unless ur happy about it.
2019-03-22 05:27
#66
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
Do you eat some pills?
2019-03-22 07:17
#67
shox | 
Indonesia songokong 
yeah. aripiprazole is the main one
2019-03-22 07:19
it will get better man =) trust me, same shit with me
2019-03-22 07:26
I have similar symptoms,and I am well in my twenties. I'm mentioning my age because many people in this thread seem to explain your experiences with your age. Age can be a factor, but it isn't necessarily that simple. I was never suicidal because I always had too much will to live, but when it was at its worst I was really down in the depths. Then the next day I could be normal again, it could last weeks or couple of months, and then I would hit another bad episode. I went to a therapist for other reasons, but they also helped me with coping with my depressive episodes. For me it is a lot about being too harsh on myself, but I've learned to be kinder to myself. I still experience bad and good episodes edit: but the bad episodes are a lot more bearable now. I wish you the best of luck with your endeavors.
2019-03-22 07:50
#71
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
Yeah, being harsh on myself is a thing too. Even when i make bad play on pug i tend to hurt myself physically. I cant stand losing when im in a bad mood.
2019-03-22 07:55
Casual teenage problems.
2019-03-22 08:41
#75
Monkey | 
Brazil g8Q0wHY 
I wish those were casual
2019-03-22 11:12
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