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tell me a joke
Brazil imnotfakeflagger 
im feel bad today (only about csgo)
2019-03-22 15:10
I don't have a joke but your name is cool, best wishes for you to feel well :)
2019-03-22 15:11
same for you my friend :)
2019-03-22 15:12
#2
Snax | 
Poland Emmson 
oskar
2019-03-22 15:12
HAHHAHHAHHAHAH +1
2019-03-22 15:12
i know better joke - polish scene omegalul
2019-03-22 17:55
#110
 | 
Poland bakusiell 
not that big joke
2019-03-22 19:44
#3
oskar | 
Czech Republic JohnCZ5 
knock knock
2019-03-22 15:12
#7
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Uruguay zero`SAMA 
who's there
2019-03-22 15:12
#12
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Bulgaria ONZIEMA 
JW
2019-03-22 15:13
#13
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Uruguay zero`SAMA 
JW who *shakes*
2019-03-22 15:14
#15
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Bulgaria ONZIEMA 
JW FAK U
2019-03-22 15:14
#17
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Uruguay zero`SAMA 
LOOOOOL de_stroyed
2019-03-22 15:14
wtf is going on here
2019-03-22 15:16
#27
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Uruguay zero`SAMA 
i dont know wtfmen))
2019-03-22 15:17
#24
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Bulgaria ONZIEMA 
1😎😎😎😎
2019-03-22 15:16
br cs
2019-03-22 15:12
hey its no funny :(
2019-03-22 15:13
#50
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Brazil Drikon 
lithuania cs?
2019-03-22 15:41
why are you offended men
2019-03-22 16:10
Your mom loves you. (No joke)
2019-03-22 15:12
Thats incest
2019-03-22 15:19
#94
Stewie2K | 
Netherlands PugCS 
I think you have been watching too much p0rn my dude
2019-03-22 16:58
#99
 | 
Germany RobiDable 
+1 lmao
2019-03-22 17:53
#112
 | 
Brazil Drikon 
+1
2019-03-26 03:25
#11
 | 
United Kingdom ryanjames1411 
uk cs
2019-03-22 15:13
flag not checks out
2019-03-22 15:14
7-1
2019-03-22 15:14
hahaha
2019-03-22 15:15
#20
nat | 
Turkey us_vincere 
xDDd
2019-03-22 15:16
N1, but a have a better: XANTARES
2019-03-22 15:17
Where is the funny part?
2019-03-22 15:49
So?
2019-03-22 15:55
Astralis not cheating
2019-03-22 15:15
Dev1ce
2019-03-22 15:16
#22
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Brazil tskvsky 
MiBR will be champions on blast ⁀‿⁀
2019-03-22 15:16
this was good axaxaxaxaxaxaxa
2019-03-22 15:20
#25
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Europe Ligm@ 
So there was this man in Bulgaria who drove trains for a living. He loved his job. Driving a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as possible. Unfortunately, one day he was a little too reckless and caused a crash. He made it out, but a single person died. Well, needless to say, he went to court over this incident. He was found guilty, and was sentenced to death by electrocution. When the day of the execution came, he requested a single banana as his last meal. After eating the banana, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air - but nothing happened. The man was perfectly fine. Well, at the time, there was an old Bulgarian law that said a failed execution was a sign of divine intervention, so the man was allowed to go free. Somehow, he managed to get his old job back driving the train. Having not learned his lesson at all, he went right back to driving the train with reckless abandon. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two people. The trial went much the same as the first, resulting in a sentence of execution. For his final meal, the man requested two bananas. After eating the bananas, he was strapped into the electric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was once again unharmed. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go. And once again, he somehow managed to get his old job back. To what should have been the surprise of no one, he crashed yet another train and killed three people. And so he once again found himself being sentenced to death. On the day of his execution, he requested his final meal: three bananas. "You know what? No," said the executioner. "I've had it with you and your stupid bananas and walking out of here unharmed. I'm not giving you a thing to eat; we're strapping you in and doing this now." Well, it was against protocol, but the man was strapped in to the electric chair without a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room - and the man was still unharmed. The executioner was speechless. The man looked at the executioner and said, "Oh, the bananas had nothing to do with it. I'm just a bad conductor."
2019-03-22 15:16
very long to read
2019-03-22 15:18
#32
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Europe Ligm@ 
-1
2019-03-22 15:19
#35
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Bulgaria ONZIEMA 
+1
2019-03-22 15:20
now the question is: Did you add another point to his "-1" comment essentially resulting in a -2, or did you +1 to bring the total score of nicenickname's original comment back to 0?
2019-03-22 15:35
#39
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Uruguay zero`SAMA 
worth the read lmao
2019-03-22 15:27
That was actually funny
2019-03-22 15:57
#79
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Europe Cr3eP_70 
Funniest thing I read today... And most of the fun lays on the fact of being long for a simple answer xd... Thxs man!
2019-03-22 16:09
#85
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Bulgaria stef0o0o 
im a simple man i see bulgaria i -1
2019-03-22 16:18
lmao
2019-03-22 16:54
My country
2019-03-22 15:17
oof...
2019-03-22 15:20
#37
NEO | 
Yugoslavia sotomonte 
mibr
2019-03-22 15:22
this is old bro cmon
2019-03-22 15:23
#108
NEO | 
Yugoslavia sotomonte 
I know. It is a meme right now. They have a very good squad and we need more top teams to beat Astralis so I would like to see them playing good tournament in Blast this week
2019-03-22 19:41
Stewie 1 major p1mple 0 major
2019-03-22 15:29
unexpected from navi fan
2019-03-22 15:31
VP LUL
2019-03-22 15:29
its sadder than funny
2019-03-22 15:34
MIBR 😎
2019-03-22 15:30
#45
halo | 
United States QastLe 
So you know the old "If an ugly girl continuously flirts with you, just lie and tell her you are gay so she'll stop"? Yea, well I had a gay dude who wouldn't stop flirting with me. So I told him I was straight(lie). He simply said, "And that's what makes this so much fun", with a big smile on his face. fml
2019-03-22 15:33
but what if the ugly girl has a friend you want to hit on? she would tell her that you're gay and you're rekt
2019-03-22 15:44
#88
halo | 
United States QastLe 
True, but that would probably be easier for me to deal with than most of the guys on this site. I'd just tell ugly girl that I'm queer and have a strong preference for men, and that I have very particular taste in women. A straight guy could pull this off as well, it'd just be a tad more difficult.
2019-03-22 16:22
#49
 | 
France mdK_ 
a joke
2019-03-22 15:38
#53
RpK | 
France KepleR82b 
Taken from a video "-Are you a CS:GO map? - I.... what? - Cuz you're de_licious"
2019-03-22 15:44
so bad, reported
2019-03-22 15:52
#62
RpK | 
France KepleR82b 
Well I hope you're having the worst day of your life
2019-03-22 15:58
why u bully me :(
2019-03-22 16:16
#106
RpK | 
France KepleR82b 
y u reported me :(
2019-03-22 19:35
#58
f0rest | 
Brazil cathory 
NRG daps
2019-03-22 15:55
+1 -Daps +Fugly Tarik IGL
2019-03-22 16:16
agreed
2019-03-22 18:01
#65
 | 
Portugal Stifmyster 
Mouz in 2k19
2019-03-22 15:59
#66
 | 
United Kingdom Johal 
why did the cum cross the road?
2019-03-22 16:01
#77
 | 
United States Neroz44 
To get to the other side
2019-03-22 16:06
#81
 | 
United Kingdom Johal 
because i put on the wrong sock
2019-03-22 16:13
lul
2019-03-22 18:06
#104
nitr0 | 
United States Tivexd 
N1
2019-03-22 18:23
#67
fer | 
North America pureGOD 
faze winning a major
2019-03-22 16:01
MIBR's roster
2019-03-22 16:03
So there was a kid who always wanted to drive trains, and he got his wish when he was older. He loved trains so much he wanted to see how fast he could go. He ended up derailing and killing someone. The law for murder is death in his country so he got his last meal and asked for 1 banana then they put him on the electric chair. They turned it on, smoke filled the room but he was still sitting there, alive. So they didnt know what to do so they gave him his job back and let him go. Then he did it again killing 2 people. They put him in prison again and then he asked for 2 bananas before he got executed. They put him on the chair again, turned it on and smoke filled the room but he was still there. They still didnt know what to do so they let him go and gave him his job back. Then, it happened a third time, he derailed the train and killed 3 people. So the prison said ok screw the last meal just get in the chair. Thy threw the switch, smoke filled the room but he was STILL THERE. The guards asked him how he is still living and he said "it had nothing to do with the bananas, im just a bad conductor". cringe
2019-03-22 16:04
VP will be top3 again
2019-03-22 16:05
Multiple jokes here. Just imagine a list of all the whiners that can't deal with Astralis being better than other teams so they bitch and/or make up shit about Astralis, all those on the list are jokes - sad ones, but still jokes.
2019-03-22 16:06
#82
 | 
Europe Cr3eP_70 
Nice one! Still in doubt if they are worst or better jokes than the one's under the designation of naive Astralis fans... Anyway, nt man!
2019-03-22 16:15
#78
 | 
United States Neroz44 
2019-03-22 16:09
#95
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Brazil MadBettorGrr 
lol is it worth reading?
2019-03-22 17:00
#96
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United States Neroz44 
It’s an interesting story with a punchline at the end
2019-03-22 17:22
there is chinese man sit on table then he leave and someone ask where he go
2019-03-22 16:21
where he go
2019-03-22 18:05
#107
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India Singer_HLTV 
where you go
2019-03-22 19:38
#87
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Europe Cr3eP_70 
A boss was complaining in a staff meeting the other day that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read, "I'm the Boss". He then taped it to his office door. Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said. "Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"
2019-03-22 16:22
#89
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Europe Cr3eP_70 
A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the bar. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" She responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" Everyone in the bar is now staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN $200 ??"
2019-03-22 16:24
#109
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Poland bakusiell 
astralis losing 16-2 to ence
2019-03-22 19:43
karrigan
2019-03-22 19:46
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