In order to be a man you have to change from being a boy, you dont necessarily have to be big and muscley but the main quality of success with women is effectively, not to a beta.
A beta is someone that takes whatever people throw at him and just laugh it off or on the other hand it is also someone that can give and take banter and just gets bitter whenever someone throws any kind of insult at them, both qualities are unattractive. It is also a beta characteristic to also act as though the odds are stacked against you, women like winners and people that are successful in as many regards as possible, so get a career, become skillful in a few things, and do some hobbies that might be interesting like mountain biking or kickboxing or something. Be an interesting person and people will take interest.
Sorry I'm not a chick but the "why do I have to change?" thing is a little pathetic to me, we should always be trying to change for the better and we should encourage the people closest to us to change for the better as well, if we dont we never stop being children, or betas, or soy boys. GLHF