Well,there are a lot of things that you should be aware of and one of them is that I want you to think that If life is really going to be any better even If you kill yourself?Just ask your self this question and that is "Is my life really going to be any better If I kill my self?",That's one of the things that I asked my self a couple of times and I think that the answer is no.
I think also that you should be happy about all the time that you spent with the ones that were close to you that you loved and still love no matter If they are dead or not,just be happy about the time that you already spent with the ones that you loved and don't even think like you lost something,be happy that you even had a ppl that you spent some time with such a people and I am pretty sure you did have such a people.Also just bcz your mom has a cancer that really doesn't even have to mean that she is going to die and even If she does,well,she is still probably going to be somewhere looking for you.
If you think you can help her then do as much as you can but still be aware that even If you do help her as much as you can that It still doesn't mean that she'll be alive,I just think there are things in our lifes that we just can not change,just be happy as long as she is with you,don't think like you lost anything,just be happy that a person like her was in your life.Btw,no matter what happens to your mom is that I am still pretty sure that there is a plenty of ppl that still love you and that they will be there no matter what,If you come to the point where you know that your mom won't survive(and just to remind you once again that just bcz she has a cancer that doesn't even close have to mean that she won't survive)just remind yourself that there is a plenty of ppl that still care about you and that would be sad about your death as much as you would be about the death of your mom.
And there is also one really important thing that you should notice and that is that depression is really common in the young population these days,some things are just biological and you are pretty young,much more things in your life have to happen and there could be a plenty of friends and ladies that are just waiting to meet you,about school and things like that just fuck them,If you think you can do soemthing then try to do it but I realize that Education in world in general is on a really low level,It's litteraly identical one that we had in the industrial age(before like 150 years),most of the ppl these days just aren't design for such an education,It's too dumb and simple,It has been made for ppl before like 150 years that were significantly dumber then people these days.
All of us will die at one moment,but that doesn't mean that we should want it to happen as soon as possible,I mean you are sad about your mom having just a possiblity to die(while she is still much odler than you) while you also think about suiciding yourself?If you love her soo much and respect her life soo much,then you should respect yours as well.nobody and nothing is worth killing youself,we are born yo live,not to die and as I already said,there is probably still a bunch of lovely ladies and gentlmans that you are going to meet and just to remind you,all of us are going to die sooner or later,It's such a short amount of time If you comapre it to the things that are happening in our galaxy and universe,life is too short for everyone of us to be sad and care about the things that we just can not change,just to the things that will make you happy,be with the close ones that are making you happy no matter If you,or them are going to be alive tommorow,I am also highly suggesting you to check out this video.
It's only 3mins and It really explained me a lot of things about chronic depression,It really made me realize some things about it and I think that It will make you to and I think spending a 3mins of your life on this video and maybe even realizing the core of some of the problems in your life and the way how to overcome them is better then just ending your life without even knowing If you could've been much happier than you are right now. youtube.com/watch?v=VYdjBAl-JyE