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I'm socially awkward
CIS Lissan 
So I'm a nerd who sits at PC most of the time or watches TV series completely alone. The most significant part is that I'm fat and unattractive and that's probably the main reason I don't interact with other peers because I feel awkward and ashamed. Today is the day of Russia (everyone celebrates it on the streets) I went for a walk and met an old friend of mine (I used to go to school with him). We were really close friends back then, but then I stopped attending school and switched to homeschooling due to health issues. So over the years I eventually stopped seeing all my previous friends/classmates and became totally lonely and socially awkward. I only used the internet to interact with people and always tried to avoid physical contact. Just so you know my weight was almost 160kg less than 6 months ago. Now I'm in the middle of losing it and it's 128kg (which is still high) and I still feel uncomfortable and anxious in crowds/big clusters of people. So the old friend offered to follow him and go together (and so I did). On our way to the urban firework, he met a couple of HIS friends (that I didn't know before). A really nice couple actually. A friendly guy and his girlfriend. They were actually really sweet and appealing. I liked the girl, she was soo cute. They greeted me, the dude shook my hand, I said "Hello" and basic stuff like that. I was impressed by his charisma. When the salute was over, we all settled down and sit on a bench nearby in the park. They asked some questions about me - I answered, but that's it. I didn't know how to maintain the conversation or what to say. They started talking about their common friends, the past, stuff they did together, etc. I was still there and it felt a bit awkward. I couldn't stop looking at the girl but I was trying to not be creepy. I spent about 2 hours there with them, mainly just listening, but it was nice. I liked the whole atmosphere to be honest. In the end I don't regret going there. At least some kind of change to my boring life and a new experience for me. The best thing is that they were genuinely friendly and good people. I only regret acting like a clueless idiot who has no idea what to say and how to interact. They kept on talking but I was just sitting there listening.... sometimes smiling once they joke about something but that's it... Whenever I wanted to say something or add some input, I thought it might sound silly or cringy and It will make me look like a moron, so I constrained myself... Now I feel like I lost the chance to get acquainted with them. I'd really like them to be my friends but they probably thought I'm some weird prick... But obviously didn't tell me anything due to courtesy. I don't even know why I wrote all of this. I just felt so excited about the whole situation and I guess wanted to share but didn't have anyone to tell about this.
2019-06-13 11:30
>Today is the day of Russia >06/13 Maybe in USA xaxa
2019-06-13 11:32
I tried to create this topic yesterday but hltv told me" You can only create 1 thread per day" or something like that. Today I rebooted my PC and this thread was created automatically (I didn't even notice at first).
2019-06-13 12:49
#61
Sweden @neo 
BOOMBL4 can save you :) gl hf m8
2019-06-13 12:55
You need kind people to boost your confidence
2019-06-13 11:33
seems like you care too much about what other people think about you, once you stop giving fucks you'll start enjoying life.
2019-06-13 11:33
8/8
2019-06-13 12:22
+1 actually smart advice on hltv it's rare
2019-06-13 12:51
How to not be an introvert: be an extrovert 👍 Quality advice
2019-06-13 13:04
you can still be yourself without caring what other poeple may think about you mate. Has nothing to do with being introverted or extroverted
2019-06-13 13:10
0iq introverted people care what people think about them
2019-06-13 13:32
there are many reason for people to be introverted, sorry if that exceeds your comprehension
2019-06-13 13:47
Just continue to lose weight and keep interacting with people in real life and you will slowly learn how to talk and stiff and get rid of anxiety mens))) 😎👍
2019-06-13 11:33
#5
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Brazil Neenzu 
thats good go walk outside bro
2019-06-13 11:34
I used to be so socially anxious, if I tried to talk words physically wouldn't come out and if I tried to force it out it would just turn out like garbled nonsense. If you want to fix your social anxiety, don't go on Charisma on Command and try to emulate some charismatic celebrity. Try to find some social flaw about yourself and try to fix just that in every future social interaction, after that's fixed move on to another one. If you stutter, focus on fixing that first, don't worry about how your voice sounds or anything else, everything else can be fixed after the stutter.
2019-06-13 11:35
#52
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Ivory Coast Takepot 
Or just drink alcohol like me, works too and u have something to look forward too
2019-06-13 12:41
#7
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Latvia Zigis 
You are the only one who can change your destiny.
2019-06-13 11:38
#8
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Poland FitPolak 
Tl;dr anybody?
2019-06-13 11:41
he's socially awkward and sits at PC most of the time or watches TV series completely alone
2019-06-13 11:48
#53
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Ivory Coast Takepot 
Dont get the tv series part, most people watch tv series completely alone? Unless you have a gf and somehow watch only with her? Like i watch 90% of the tv series alone too in think its normal
2019-06-13 12:42
It's hard to tell someone young but a lot of your stress seems to be coming from how you think other perceive you, at the end of the day a stranger walking by gives zero fucks, this is not your fault it's how you've been brainwashed through media and Hollywood type films. For example I legit turned down one of the hottest girls in high school because I was chubby and I thought I had a small cock, due to porn. Yet I have a 20cm cock... Let go and relax.
2019-06-13 11:43
#31
autist | 
CIS bjornzz 
wtf.
2019-06-13 12:14
#34
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Denmark Farmand 
humblebrag. good ending making sure that all us men know your penis is actually big
2019-06-13 12:21
Yeah well it's stupid how things can influence some people greatly.
2019-06-13 13:00
#69
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Finland Teukkasd 
0/8 all fat guys have max 5 cm penis
2019-06-13 13:15
Yep.
2019-06-13 13:16
Wrong forum to open up this topic. You should open it on a subreddit pal <3
2019-06-13 11:43
Lmao Reddit... Most forums relating to these types of topics give shit, generic advice, the type that people like OP has heard a million times.
2019-06-13 11:45
Yeah, what do you got? It's same for everyone. Same advices for everyone. There is no magic key word or some shit. People have to change their own lives sometimes by themselves sometimes by help of a friend
2019-06-13 11:46
The problem is just going out with a charisma on command recommended attitude is just going to end in failure. They're just going to end up even more socially anxious after they mess up their "charismatic" persona. I know simple advice is the best and there's no secret, but those subreddits really do give shit advice.
2019-06-13 11:48
You might be right, i can't say that i took a look at those subreddits
2019-06-13 11:50
#11
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Finland v3tu 
Socializing is a skill like any other, and without practice your skills will become rusty. You just have to expose yourself to those situations again and relearn. It will be awkward at first, but once you get going, you will soon open up. When you get close to someone again, you can openly talk about even your dark past, and once you pass that step and you get to be in terms with yourself again, everything will be easier.
2019-06-13 11:43
That's a good advice and surely i can relate
2019-06-13 11:50
#12
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Denmark Farmand 
You seem like a very nice and caring person! I know its hard but the best thing you can do is to go socialize. The more you do it the more comfortable you will get with it. And keep losing weight dude it does a lot for the confidence. And dont overthink the situation, everyones been there when you only know one person and they talk about stuff you cant relate to because you werent there.
2019-06-13 11:44
There is nothing wrong with playing computer games all day long. I really hate the thought "You should go outside and meet your friends" Bitch, no! I'd rather sitting in front of computer for 15 hours than having twofaced pricks as friends and this shit doesnt mean I am socially awkward, this means I am just done with trying to have friendships with twofaced people.
2019-06-13 11:52
#27
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Portugal NabasKi 
+1 i've only recently realized that literally all of my friends are twofaced, i hear them talking shit about other people in their backs (i really hate that kind of stuff). so now i basically have no true friends but one, probably (i've known him since we were babies and i never heard him say stuff like that)
2019-06-13 12:01
Life is about making memories and relationships, you won't get that from sitting at home all day. Fake friends are part of life and we all face these sort of people, it's what you make out of it and learn to not make the same mistakes, as corny as it sounds. There is nothing wrong with spending some quality time online but once you get older and reflect your youth, you'll highly regret not taking any risks. Get out of your comfort zone mate.
2019-06-13 13:03
+1 think about it istoxic
2019-06-13 14:05
#92
Xyp9x | 
Indonesia Wawzloll 
Not everyone is twofaced tho. You just met the wrong friend. Or you expect too high of people wanting to befriend of you when yourself didnt put enough effort to make your so called friend enjoy being around you
2019-06-13 16:15
Yeah, I guess my expectations are high
2019-06-13 16:29
Like the rest of hltv?
2019-06-13 11:52
your dad works for my dad at valve
2019-06-13 11:53
nt, my dad gaben
2019-06-13 11:59
wtf brother?
2019-06-13 13:44
wtf, dad wat doink?
2019-06-13 13:52
i dont believe you because gaben neither works for valve or at valve, valve works for gaben, GOTEM
2019-06-13 13:47
gaben my dad
2019-06-13 13:53
im ur dad
2019-06-13 13:53
u mom gey
2019-06-13 14:38
All i can say is be relax, just don't speak empty but you don't have to be Einstein about everything, give your own comment on things but also don't jump in things that you have 0 knowledge or idea, be relax, don't interrupt people's talk and don't let other's interrupt yours. And also, don't make too long sentences. Keep it short. These advices are always good at talking.
2019-06-13 11:53
#23
suNny | 
Germany beerbear 
tl;dr? won't read that whole sht sorry meen
2019-06-13 11:54
"I'm socially awkward" No shit Sherlock. You use hltv. All of us are socially awkward. You're not special
2019-06-13 11:57
#25
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Bulgaria R34 
+1 lol
2019-06-13 11:59
#28
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Denmark EyesWallow 
atleast he isnt american, so i guess he got that going for him
2019-06-13 12:05
I believe you meant to say: going AGAINST him
2019-06-13 12:10
#30
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Denmark EyesWallow 
no
2019-06-13 12:12
YES
2019-06-13 12:19
Why are you guys talking shit about using HLTV like it is a bad thing? Most of us here use this site to have some fun and that doesnt make anybody socially awkward. There are hundreds of threads and replies that make me die of laughing.
2019-06-13 12:36
wtf men)))
2019-06-13 12:57
Wake up, sych, you obosralsya
2019-06-13 12:19
ahhaahahah dvacheri pod'ehali
2019-06-13 12:46
move to Finland, u'll be fine
2019-06-13 12:22
+1 perkeles are weird as hell
2019-06-13 12:23
#38
Zeus | 
Finland 0lter 
wtf
2019-06-13 12:26
#39
Zeus | 
Finland 0lter 
You fine dude what you on about
2019-06-13 12:29
Don't be weird men
2019-06-13 12:31
why you care about what others think just say what u want- that's how people will talk to you and u get friends
2019-06-13 12:32
#42
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Portugal NabasKi 
that's easy to recognize, but hard to stop. also, i feel like most of the time i'm not even aware of what i'm saying; i end up saying stuff I don't want to say and phrasing stuff in a bad way
2019-06-13 12:37
I'm not saying just blurt out your mind, obviously a line has to be drawn but overthinking what you want to say will leave you just sitting and listening while the conversation moves on before you regret not saying whatever you wanted to earlier
2019-06-13 12:41
#60
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Portugal NabasKi 
oh, got you. my issue here isn't overthinking, rather not thinking at all. it's like i'm in autopilot or something like that
2019-06-13 12:55
#45
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Ivory Coast Takepot 
Brother if i understood him correctly he was almost 300 kg 6 months ago
2019-06-13 12:37
wtfmen)) he was 160kg 6 months ago and now he's 128kg
2019-06-13 12:38
#49
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Ivory Coast Takepot 
Oh shit i missread it as he had lost 160 and is now 128, mb
2019-06-13 12:39
#44
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Ivory Coast Takepot 
You were fucking almost 300kg? U fucking kidding me?
2019-06-13 12:36
#47
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Portugal NabasKi 
"Just so you know my weight was almost 160kg less than 6 months ago." less than 6 months ago, his weight was 160kg
2019-06-13 12:38
#50
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Ivory Coast Takepot 
Yea missread #49
2019-06-13 12:39
Dont let this get to your head, you are not awkward, just go out more and you will be seeing changes, i had same problems, but i wasn't fat i actually were and im still skiny, but now i dont give fuck man and can talk more than before
2019-06-13 12:37
#54
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Ivory Coast Takepot 
Have you tried rushing b?
2019-06-13 12:42
nt Fakepott
2019-06-13 13:01
#81
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Ivory Coast Takepot 
Any proof?
2019-06-13 13:58
#91
Canada NELK 
Fan of Finland and “pot” in name Exposed
2019-06-13 14:42
#55
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Sweden Trkmag 
Nice to hear man, try to make going out and meeting people whenever possible more of a habit, start working out as well (start out slowly, jogging 2-3 times a week) and life should improve
2019-06-13 12:45
#57
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Russia MyDuck 
Which city are you from ? If you are from Tyumen we can be friends
2019-06-13 12:49
what you say is not really important imo , the way you say is much more important.
2019-06-13 13:02
#70
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Denmark BriTe 
stopped reading at so I'm a nerd
2019-06-13 13:16
#73
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Europe thaifinnen 
man keep up with the weightloss 30 kg down man its good. you should keep in touch with that guy and try to spend more time with him
2019-06-13 13:39
You think your socially awkwardness' reason is looks. I think that's good. Because that means when you lose weight you surely gonna have higher self-confidence. Losing weight is not the sole solution, you can change yourself without it but it is easier. Being ugly or unattractive is not a big deal in friendships. No one thinks you are far or something in a conversation. There are socially awkward people that don't have the problems you have. Their reason solely depends on their mind. I think this is harder to solve.
2019-06-13 13:55
you need a conversation piece when you go out. i highly recommend a propeller beanie.
2019-06-13 13:59
#83
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Denmark Gryde 
I'm socially inept
2019-06-13 14:02
#88
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Germany oloP 
ImApet
2019-06-13 14:38
#84
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Tunisia Respecc 
I was socially awkward too, just put yourself out there and start gonig out more and try new experiences, it won't be as hard as you might think.
2019-06-13 14:02
#86
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Belgium therealV1c 
U got this bro. I know it sounds cliché but go find the hapiness, don't wait till it comes to you. If u find hapiness in being with people, being socially,... go out and do it. And if you find hapiness in looking good, work hard to be in better shape. U got this
2019-06-13 14:11
Didn't know there were so many kind of reasonable people on hltv
2019-06-13 16:19
#100
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Belgium therealV1c 
yeah was writing this in post-nut clarity
2019-06-13 17:23
#87
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Brazil Smartzilian 
You should look for a psychologist, it's seems u have some kind of depression as well. This professional will help u to find out and solve these issues. Also, I'd say to keep going with this lose weight stuff and talk about it with your family.
2019-06-13 14:11
#90
Canada NELK 
Stopped reading at “so you know my weight was almost 160kg“
2019-06-13 14:41
good luck men)))
2019-06-13 16:17
hey, i can be ur online friend, i'm in ur situation too, so u are not alone bro :)
2019-06-13 16:18
#96
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Finland Autisthicc 
is this a serious post?
2019-06-13 16:19
#98
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Serbia d1ckson 
Try stop givin a fuck what others think of you. I startedbdoing that a week ago and I feel like I've been thinking about my future way brighter than I did before. I realized that it's almost 2020 and I haven't done anything different in the last 1.5 years. I decided I wanna fix myself, and Imma keep grinding, suggest you try and do the same.
2019-06-13 16:31
just dont give a shit what people think about you, thats not a healthy mindset i used to think the same, but then i realized that im only puting bullshit in my head for no reason and stopped caring keep losing weight, eat less and eat healthy but tasty food, fish is good and later you can hit a gym or workout from home, losing weight and getting into shape is going to boost you and motivate you a lot
2019-06-13 16:35
#101
Szohn | 
Nepal Nepali 
It's fine, calm down
2019-06-13 18:44
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