Just asking to see what other HLTV users have experience and went through
The reason is because for countless years, I spent day and night, sometimes restless hours and no food, just watching this man stream. It could be anything, from him playing counter strike, to important discussions about philosophy, history, or just life in general, he would never disappoint, always provide more than anyone could ever expect.
He made an impressionable mark on everyone who met him. He was always a controversial figure, but for the better. Many did not understand being in his position, living in a war torn country, with nothing but his pc and counter strike. He instead took a would be depressing life of misery into one that revolved around entertaining many from all over the world. Truly a great gift given to by God himself.
This said, for him to one day revive a call to have to move across the country for a new job opportunity was a shock and devastating moment for many, including myself. I had spent years, building new bridges that I hoped would lead me to eternal happiness, which for the time worked brilliantly. So for those to be unfinished, it was just as bad as it had collapsed.
I became depressed, suicidal even. "How can this happen?" I would ask myself this question many times, and yet to no answer. Maybe this was a test by God? All a trial for the greatness was to become. But no I thought, too cruel. Would never let this happen. Maybe another hidden force in the darkness told him. Perhaps he was feeling the affects of happiness, it becoming harder to fulfill.
I've never ever felt this way in my life. I considered myself to be extremely lucky that I didn't have anything major happen, but then I realized it was not a gift, but a curse. The affects of such a catastrophic event in my life hit me harder than anything could ever have.
The only thing that remained now was my acceptance of what life really is, a test to make you the greatest of all time. I accepted the fate of my old life, and I knew as he moved on, we had to as well. As he said, "Its time to move on with our lives, or risk repeating the future of a dark and evil time." Powerful words for such a powerful and influence man.
And that's what I did, what all of us did. All the fans who watched him for countless hours. It was all worth it. The pleasure we felt from this alpha of a man. But we all had this unwavering relationship of something nobody could disrupt. We have built one of the soul. Outside it is called a "gang," but we knew greater things. We knew we would last for 1000 years, and if we shall end up in hell, we will still stand, until we conquer hell itself. We had made a pact of blood than none of us could back out from, that would last for eternity. Not like any of us would give up immersive power, brotherhood, and peace for anything else.
Its funny though, we all thought it was a sad moment, a moment where we all felt isolated and alone after his departure. But in reality, it was the complete opposite. That alone we are all divided, but spiritually, together. We all watched and started watching the stream to find happiness, and when he stopped, the artificial happiness stopped, but eternally, spiritually, we live on. We are all fulfilled in the soul, which lives forever.
This ties into another reason why at first, we all felt sadness. He had taught us so many lessons. From the truth about the global order to the big nose small hatters who wanted us to be exterminated, and many, many more. But the final lesson was silent. It is what we had all been building for all the time we had joined the stream. The connections we made. The bridge was complete, it was only not for us. It was for our afterlife. None of this time was for waste. Just as he once said, "Make the most of your life." Such an underrated quote that everyone overlooks as "corny" but the meaning is so fucking powerful.
All of these memories man, its breaking me. Is this sadness or just nostalgia? Its such a great part of my life that I don't know if i'm crying because its gone, or smiling because it happened. Maybe both ;)
THANK YOU B**O FOR ALL THAT YOU GAVE AND WILL CONTINUE BRINGING TO OTHERS. OUR THANKS WILL NEVER BE ENOUGH. YOUR SPIRIT LIVES THROUGH US!!