Thread has been deleted
Last comment
hltv memes
 | 
Germany lenin_is_back 
HLTV memes have really jumped the shark. Memes used to have humor and character to them. "I aren't think that" is funny not only because it is bad english but because it feels like a natural ridiculous deviation from the norm. "Who cars" reads like an hltv meme made by someone trying to create an hltv meme, instead of happening naturally. It makes me sad to see such bad memes dominating the current state of hltv. We need to let retards create memes naturally instead of forcing them. The lower influx is probably due to the crackdown on bait accounts (even though they added sport mode), which decreases the number of people writing stupid nonsense. Of course, all of the replies to this thread will be "who cars," but there's nothing I can do about that, so I'll just get my thoughts out there anyway.
2020-03-31 12:09
Topics are hidden when running Sport mode.
#1
 | 
Lithuania I_eat_kebabs 
i aren't think that
2020-03-31 12:09
2020-03-31 12:14
#10
 | 
Lithuania I_eat_kebabs 
im there already mens)))
2020-03-31 12:27
gj mens))))
2020-03-31 12:38
this is an OG meme right there
2020-03-31 12:19
#2
 | 
Turkey Nigotess 
Who cares?
2020-03-31 12:11
#81
arT | 
Brazil Maujubudo 
lmao my ass off
2020-03-31 21:31
laugh my ass off my ass off
2020-04-19 04:48
#135
 | 
Poland rude_wredne 
Smash my smh head
2020-04-19 15:39
Who cars
2020-03-31 12:12
car dealer
2020-03-31 13:23
mens))
2020-04-16 13:07
"Who cars" reads like an hltv meme made by someone trying to create an hltv meme, instead of happening naturally. It makes me sad to see such bad memes dominating the current state of hltv. We need to let retards create memes naturally instead of forcing them. The lower influx is probably due to the crackdown on bait accounts (even though they added sport mode), which decreases the number of people writing stupid nonsense.
2020-04-16 12:10
Nice copy pasta
2020-04-16 12:16
#4
 | 
Czech Republic mirtN 
Stop reading after shark.
2020-03-31 12:12
nt prokda
2020-03-31 13:29
nt lockerboy
2020-04-01 16:07
#6
OCEAN | 
Reunion 1iquser 
can't jump in water therefore you can't jump the shark. your lack of basic knowledge is what makes this thread invalid
2020-03-31 12:14
#84
BOOBIE | 
India Women 
You don't have to be in water to jump over a shark
2020-04-01 03:33
Who cars men?
2020-03-31 12:19
#9
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
Fresh off the boat, from reddit, kid? heh I remember when I was just like you. Braindead. Lemme give you a tip so you can make it in this cyber sanctuary: never make jokes like that. You got no reputation here, you got no name, you got jackshit here. It's survival of the fittest and you ain't gonna survive long on hltv by saying stupid jokes that your little hugbox cuntsucking reddit friends would upboat. None of that here. You don't upboat. You don't downboat. This ain't reddit, kid. This is hltv. We have REAL intellectual discussion, something I don't think you're all that familiar with. You don't like it, you can hit the bricks on over to imgur, you daily show watching son of a bitch. I hope you don't tho. I hope you stay here and learn our ways. Things are different here, unlike any other place that the light of internet pop culture reaches. You can be anything here. Me ? heh, I'm a judge.. this place.... this place has a lot to offer... heh you'll see, kid . . . that is if you can handle it.
2020-03-31 12:22
Maybe you 15y0 kid who want to fuck somebodeh but you cant cuz ur beni is lil and its all about your harmony. In my age (17y0) i control it. If i see nice girl with great shape and face, i dont have a things like FUCK HER, or i will fuck her yay. Just learn to love girls not fuck them or smth. LOL
2020-03-31 12:44
#28
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
Your eyes are too far apart. Nose is definitely crooked. The shape of your face is not aesthetically pleasing at all. You look like a 3/10 with make up in this photo. I don't even want to imagine what you look like without make up. I actually just threw up in my mouth, just thinking about it. Your head is too big (although that may be, because of your giraffe neck posture). As for your hair, lol. Seriously, do something. You look like a horse. Stare at your face for more than 5 seconds, and you will see how ugly you are. The eyes which are too far apart is what ruins/damages an already ugly face even further. Unfortunately for you, that can't be surgically fixed, lol. You arms are way too long. lol at how they hang by your sides. Kind of reminds me of lurch. As for your tits, we all know there is extra padding there. Don't even let me start on your pale complexion. It only works if you look hot. Unfortunately, you do not look hot. Its hard to sum up a creature like you in one word. 'UGLY' would be unfair, since it doesn't reflect how repulsive you look. GROTESQUE is stretching it. But somewhere in between, is where you would be, on the scale of an average man. I'm sorry if my words seem a little harsh. Just so you know, I sugar coated this post as much as possible. Have a nice day.
2020-03-31 13:18
Listen here buddy. Don't make claims you cannot back up. Proof is not something to be taken lightly, the law of evidence regulates the process of proof. The rule of civil and criminal evidence, in conjunction with the rules of procedure, establish the frame work for the process of proof and the conduct of litigation, so that a person claiming something will know what the burden of proof his claims require in order to succeed. It reflects a powerful tool in bringing the guilty to justice, whilst allowing the ki innocent to go free. In some cases the rules of evidence may actually prevent the truth from being discovered in the wider public interest however we know that is not the case here. Moreover the general rule is that evidence of the defendant's character and previous convictions will not be admitted at trial (see Art 138 of cr.p.c and Rule-145 of DER). As we shall see a number of rules relating to admissibility and use of evidence are directed towards minimizing the risk of wrongful convictions. And the main risks of error stem largely from the admission of unreliable or prejudicial evidence. Thus this concept of free proof may allow people on twitter to portray unreliable or prejudicial evidence, which lead to a hasty conclusion. The burden on proof is on your side while you make these claims. When a dispute, whether relating to a civil or criminal matter, reaches the court there will always be a number of issues which one party will have to prove in order to persuade the court to find in his or her favour. The law must ensure certain guidelines are set out in order to ensure that evidence presented to the court can be regarded as trustworthy. If you cannot do that punishment is more often than not swift in nature. You can also not count on the party to let you walk off freely as being an unreliable witness or claimant may result in legal and perhaps lethal repercussions out of court the likes of which you've never seen before for which you cannot claim amnesty or protection if your claim is proven to be unlawful or slander. I as KNG will exercise my right of self deference to the fullest and you will seize to exist on this earth morally, legally and most importantly physically.
2020-03-31 13:21
#30
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
Unless you are a published theoretical physicist and have earned a Master of Science and two PhDs, have an IQ of 187, and went to college at 11, research String Theory at Caltech, switched disciplines from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory and reconciled the black hole information paradox using a string network condensate approach, worked on the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations and considered a method for optimizing a 500 GeV particle detector to this end, jointly wrote a paper on supersolids to be presented at an Institute of Experimental Physics topical conference on Bose-Einstein condensates, keep a whiteboard in the living room for scientific theories containing virtual particles in quantum mechanics or series of Riemann zeta functions, then you should not talk to me
2020-03-31 13:21
Seriously? You're really serious right now? I cannot tell if I have sensory problems or if I actually just witnessed a statement with such an immense amount of sheer stupidity. You know, I have seen the most bizarre things from some guy in class jerking it to Ronald Reagan tentacle hentai, to people linking Chernobyl to penis-shaped aliens, but your comment is by far the most fucking idiotic thing I have ever had the kind of horrible fucking luck one requires to hear your stupid fucking post. From this point on, when I think of you, I will imagine a diseased turtle taking an enormous dump, with so much unbelievably large amounts of shit that all the protons inside of the methyl sulfide this horrendous crap contains spontaneously fuse into uranium-235 that I can use to shove a nuke up your sub-mental ass. You can write that off as an exaggeration but it is 100% true from the bottom of my already-empty heart. I legitimately think that you lack intelligence. I would say you're mentally unstable but then I couldn't blame the terribly ignorant fucking post on you. I literally cannot comprehend how amazingly dimwitted your dumb ass is. I have trouble understanding the laws of physics, space, and time as if all laws of reality have been devastated and disintegrated due to how dense you are. I could write a damn book on your lack of intelligence that is so long, one could read the entire Series of Unfortunate Events series, watch the entire Godfather trilogy, and invent fucking time travel itself before it could even be published under a first edition. Half-Life 3 would be released centuries before I could finish the first chapter describing your purely pointless state of mind. I honestly cannot tell if you were abused too much or not abused enough, because you clearly did not go to school enough to get a proper fucking education. To quote George Washington, "Associate with men of good quality if you esteem your own reputation; for it is better to be alone than in bad company." In that case, I'm getting as far away from you as possible. Hell, I'm actually unironically considering moving to Macquarie Island just to be isolated from your brain cell-killing words for the rest of my now-miserable life. I would rather go insane from thinking about you to the point where I pull a Cast Away and consider sexual relations with a volleyball than actually spending time anywhere near you. There is honestly no other way of putting it; you're an irritating asshole who contributes absolutely nothing to this already dreadful planet. And that's saying a lot considering the fact that I've heard of carbon dioxide levels reaching 400 parts per million, Donald Trump becoming president, and toxic fucking comment sections that contain your stupid bullshit. And again I go, being confused by whatever quantum physics you are using to defy the laws of physics with your stupidity, to the point where I'm saying you are worse than yourself. I have nothing else that is most definitely as horrible as you to compare to except you yourself. How does that make you feel? Like a turtle taking a nuclear shit? I really don't have a single shit to give anyway, because you are living proof that there is no hope for humanity left. Really went downhill after that whole thing where Rome fell; that made a lot of people pissed off. But not as pissed off as I am after reading your stupid shit. No, buddy, if I should even call you that, I am not pissed off at your comment. I am FURIOUS. I am so furious that I will personally take that radioactive turtle shit myself just so I can rid the world of your baffling levels of unadulterated doltishness. You are more dull than oxygenated magnesium or even a samurai sword that hasn't been sharpened for a thousand years. And you better be glad that the sword is dull, because if it wasn't, it would be shoved up your ass just like the nuclear turtle shit. I am so fucking angry that even watching an Adam Sandler movie will make me happier than I am right now. If the Greeks made a god of stupidity, you would be the closest candidate to that fucking role. It's not a good thing when you're so fucking unintelligent that people like Socrates would get on their toga-wearing-ass knees to worship your dumb fucking ass. That's when you need to reconsider obviously pointless life choices. Read a fucking book for crying out loud, man! What the literal fuck is wrong with you? After this fiasco I will need at least 12 hours of building up sanity with my psychiatrist. After this she will need to prescribe Ritalin that I will have to take 5 times an hour just to prevent me from snapping because of your disgusting act of stupidity. Your post gave me type 5 syphilis, which I didn't even fucking know existed until I felt itchy dick. Thanks a fucking lot. That was sarcasm, by the way, if you're too stupid to understand what that is (you probably are). Is it even legal for someone to be enough of a dumbass to make someone experience these sorts
2020-03-31 13:23
#34
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
My dad is a counter-strike fanatic. Half the flat cluttered with tshirts with his nickname on the back, posters and DVD boxes left from games. Once a month he buys a new gaming mouse for about 200zl because he hurls the old one through the window when it gets "well-worn." In my 22 year old life I ran to MediaMarkt or Saturn to get a new Deathadder or Rival about 30 times. A week ago I only entered the shop, and the guy from staff already handed me a Zowie FK-2 and asked me if I'm some sponsor of multi-gaming company. Second half of the flat cluttered with gaming accessories, old mice, keyboards, apparel like some wrist wrappings and gaming zines. CD-Action, Click!, Retro Gamer etc. Every week my dad drives around the block scouring kiosks and press shops, spending insane amounts of money for this wastepaper. Before he used to play only with bots and it made him happy, he played 2 hours a day and got bored. I was stupid enough to teach him into the internets and he started to play online on multiplayer. At first he found himself some FFA server where he had his usual "buddies", they greeted him every time he went on the server HI ART, HELLO ART, WHAT'S UP ART. He played there for half a year and then went to the annual gathering of the server's players, where they were supposed to play, drink and choose admins. He came back on Sunday evening, mad as hell, battle-scarred with a black eye. He got in a fight with some JARO guy because they didn't choose my dad for admin even though he played there for such a long time and they said "YOU DON'T KNOW A M X", so he got mad and went full warrior mode with nothing but his fists xD He came back all fucked up and never went on that server again, unless under another nickname just to troll them. These were the times of CS 1.5 so with our Neostrada internet provider he could reset the router and change IP as much as he wanted (I needlessly told him about that too). Very often he spent whole days changing IP, going on the server and calling JARO and the rest of the admins fags. He also made accounts on a couple Counter-Strike forums where he shitposted and cursed on the admins and the main admin JARO xD I had a great laugh because I, a casual gamer, watched all this from a safe distance... until. On some other server my dad met DuZy, DuZy was a guy my age and he invited my dad into his clan. Kurwa! My dad in a clan. Now he didn't spend 5 hours a day during the working week playing the shit out of Counter-Strike, now he spent 8-10 hours doing so. He used to come back from work and the first thing he did was to turn on the computer and play some FFA (he was warming up, he told me). After 3 hours of "warmup" his clan gathered and they were starting to play SPARRS and RANKED MATCHES. They played those "sparrs" about 3 hours a week since most of the clan had to go to sleep because they had school in the morning or something, but my dad gave up going to work because he had his own company and played with the remaining guys until 2am and worked with TACTICS where to FLASH where to SMOKE who goes in at which second etc. Kurwa, they could prepare one map for 2 weeks. Thus they played de_inferno, which they called "their map" xD fuck the fact that they spent 50 hours working on tactics that everyone from FFA already knew, but fuck it, it was their map! Regularly since 8 years my dad goes the fuck away on clan gatherings or LAN parties where he spends a shitton of money on gas, hotels, food and alcohol. He has yet to win anything. No, wait, once they won 500zl, after splitting 100 per player he was in the black with gas money. When my dad doesn't eat at his computer which happens mainly on Sundays when my grandma - his mom eats dinner with us, he constantly talks about Counter-Strike, about tactics, about life of his clan buddies... KURWA. My mom and I don't even know what to do anymore. It was fun when I was 13, now I'm ashamed in front of my friends. My dad doesn't care. Every weekend Saturday/Sunday he's in my room from 6:30-7 am. He gets up, takes a shower or not, makes coffee and scrambled eggs and sits at the computer and starts playing. Every Saturday and Sunday I wake up to shots from kalashnikov and screams GO GO GO! FIRE IN THE HOLE! One weekend my girlfriend slept at my place, you know, we laid in bed naked after a hot night. My dad doesn't give a shit, he comes in at 6:40 as if nothing was going on and starts playing. I told my girlfriend that this thing takes place in my home but she didn't believe me. She laid naked until 11:30 (even though she wanted to go home at 10) since she couldn't get up, because my father sat at the computer. Only when he needed to pee and the map was changing she quickly got out of bed. Kurwa. I won't even mention that my dad talks to everyone in internet-counter-strike slang, which I don't even understand anymore. In high school my friends came over, we drank beer and talked - my dad sat with us in the room and played. Then he gets up, comes in, leans through the door and says: "DO YOU WANT LOLE ICE CREAM?" My face got all red, and my friends burst out laughing. He came back with some walnut ice cream. Non-stop he shouted "LOOK AT THAT HEADSHOT", "FUCKING SCRUB", "KURWA, DE DUST AGAIN". That's nothing. The worst is when he plays in the evenings/nights, and I'm not allowed to sleep, just like on the weekends in the morning. All the time I hear only WATER WATER WATER, BRIDGE BRIDGE, TUNNELS! B B B B B HELP! I'M GOING APPS! RUSH HIM etc. Situation from yesterday: 23:40, I'm going to work for 8am, he shoots from AWP, dies (someone knifed him) and screams WHAT A FUCKING KURWA NOOB, he turns to me, sees my mad as hell face, he pushes tab and says, look I'm first. And I'm like "that's nice, dad" and face back in pillow. This year for christmas he bought himself a gaming mouse for +500zl, with customizable weights and stuff, so it matches your hand perfectly. Of course he opened it at 20 before christmas because he couldn't wait to try it out. On christmas eve the mouse was already destroyed, he played drunk at 1am and I saw that he plays with one of the old ones. I ask him what happened, and he said that the mouse is shitty and doesn't work properly. For my 18th birthday he took me to one of his clan gatherings, thanks dad nice gift. Not only did I have to watch my 40+ year old dad run around in an internet cafe without his shirt on among teenagers and pour them vodka, he also forced me to play and called me a NOB and that I DON'T KNOW SHIT. It was a nice 18th bday :( Once he shows me his stats something like 80/3, I told him nice score and then the round begins and he sees through walls, some lasers, crosshair not moving at all and generally my dad was a cheater. On the Counter-Strike forums they put him in "CHEATER BLACKLIST" threads, of course he denied, he made a million accounts where he trolled them and said that he's clean, can't see anything on replays etc. Fuck the fact that he saw people through walls and wasn't even hiding it. They banned all his steams he had bound to his ESL and forums accounts. At once he bought 10 new, a big chunk of which they banned too because he continued to cheat. Kurwa. The worst thing is that my dad decided to give a visit to one of the AC (anti-cheaters) who accused him and put on the blacklist. As it turned out it was JARO from some years ago, my father came back with a fucked up face and battered coat + he got sued 2 weeks later for assault. There's a court trial in a month and he still trolls on the forums, writes to himself that he's clean and a good player and don't know what they want from him. Additionally, he seeks a new clan and put info that he played in PGS, MYM, NiP, SK etc. My mom left us 3 years ago, she has a happy life with another man, with whom she had an affair because my dad was busy playing a game. To this day I'm unsure whether dad noticed that she's gone.
2020-03-31 13:25
I saw ecovice at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him that he was my grandfather's friend and that it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything. He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?” I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying. The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter. When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly
2020-03-31 13:26
#37
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
You know what I truly hate? Monkeys. They are above us. Their asses are perfect, baby pink. No hair. At all. They laugh at our inferiority in evolution, compared to them. They don't get shit stuck in their ass hair. They don't need wet wipes or bidets. We do. They throw their shit at us and laugh. We can't do anything against them. We can't throw our shit back. We have morals and clothes. They don't have that. They can do whatever the fuck they want, they have nothing holding them back. We clearly evolved into the wrong branch. Fuck monkeys.
2020-03-31 13:28
I just did sex so hard to this girl. She was moaning and stuff and i did sex so hard and so good with her. She was all "Please have good sex with me" and I said back "Yeah, I'm going to really sex you so great lady" and she's like "Thanks". It was so good and so hot and we both loved making a sex on all the positions. At the end I was all "Hey, I'm going to finish sex now" and she said "Yes, that would be nice if you finished so hard on that towel". I said "Yes" and I finished so hard on the towel. And It was so hot.
2020-03-31 13:30
#42
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're fucking dead, kiddo.
2020-03-31 13:31
This actually happened to me. I was tryna get some sleep after a long day at work when I heard some moans from the next door neighbours. I figured that someone's getting laid and started fapping to the moans. After a while the moans turned into cries and shrieks. It was getting intense. Atleast that's what I thought. After going close to the wall I realised that the wife was being pounded by the guy and not in a good way. I was this close to climax. I called the cops with one hand and kept on rubbing with the other with regret. This scared me for life.
2020-03-31 13:31
#44
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
Whacha gonna do fight me? Oooooooh I’m so scared, you think you’re tough pussy? I’m behind 7 proxies and use ZoneAlarm, Sygate and Comodo Internetnet Securtiy which I all keep up-to-date. THAT’S THREE FIREWALLS AT THE SAME TIME motherfucker. You can’t hack me you little piece of shit. You’re peeshooter and kung fu won’t make a difference when my friend woh’s a B-51 pilot in the Air Force can turn your entire house and backyard into a fuckhuge bomb crater. You are pathetic, while you’re sitting there writing insults like the sad little nerd you are i’m having sex with my hot girlfriends. Yeah you read that right, i have not one but FIVE girlfriends. Top that motherfucker, I dont think you’ve ever even held hands with a girl.
2020-03-31 13:32
I saw Allu grocery shopping! He had banana, olive oil and rubber gloves in his basket, walking slightly sideways like a KGB agent. I smiled at him on the aisle expecting a nod or something, but all he did was slap me with the rubber gloves still in their plastic packaging! I of course started crying but he was just laughing. I left the store not buying anything. Later I went to McDonalds.
2020-03-31 13:33
#47
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
why i think you're a polak? because you protect anime and you're a fan of NEO. it's pretty obvious how you are a polak but it's okay if you are a ashamed of your shithole of a country, we all know your circumstances :(
2020-03-31 13:34
is this happens because we are from BULGARIA???
2020-03-31 13:34
#49
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
Honestly, that's what I call a cool story bro. Such a riveting tale, I honestly copy and pasted it to word, saved on my hard drive, backed it up on a jump drive, drove to the bank, put the jump drive in the safe deposit box, and will leave it there until my kids turn about 12 (when they can actually state their age, and ask what it is I'm showing them), when I will pick it up, put it in an old USB drive reader and relay this cool story to them and tell them, "kids, this is what a cool story should look and sound like...not like the stories your generation tells.
2020-03-31 13:35
F? F what? The letter before G? The letter after E? Did you know that in Fu the F  stands for “fuck?” So your reply is “fuck?” or F as in Flourine? Do you need some Special F for breakfast? F as in I can fuck you? Can I fuck you and feed you to hungry falcons? Falcons have an f in it. "F”? Are you fucking kidding me? I spent a decent portion of my life writing all of that and your response to me is "F”?Are you so mentally handicapped that the only letter you can comprehend is "F” - or are you just some fucking asshole who thinks that with such a short response, he can make a statement about how meaningless what was written was? Well, I'll have you know that what I wrote was NOT meaningless, in fact, I even had my written work proof-read by several professors of literature. Don't believe me? I doubt you would, and your response to this will probably be "F” once again. Do I give a fuck? No, does it look like I give even the slightest fuck about a single letter? I bet you took the time to type that one letter too, I bet you sat there and chuckled to yourself for 20 hearty seconds before pressing "send". You're so fucking pathetic. I'm honestly considering directing you to a psychiatrist, but I'm simply far too nice to do something like that. You, however, will go out of your way to make a fool out of someone by responding to a well-thought-out, intelligent, or humorous statement that probably took longer to write than you can last in bed with a chimpanzee. What do I have to say to you? Absolutely nothing. I couldn't be bothered to respond to such a worthless attempt at a response. Do you want "F” on your gravestone? Do you want people to remember you as the asshat who one day decided to respond to someone with a single letter? "Hey, look, everybody! It's that "f” guy!" That's who you are. You're going to be known as the "F” guy. How does it feel? Do you feel happy? Quite honestly, I don't care, which is why I'm not even going to respond to you. Goodbye, and good luck with your future as that guy who said "F”. Alright listen up motherfucker, and get your comfy seat because we're gonna be here a while. Do you really think you can just get away with "f" as a message? What if someone did that to you, huh? Do you think you would like it? Making an entire paragraph to get a fuckin' one letter response of the sixth letter in the alphabet, you think that's fuckin' funny, jackass? Do you want your crush to respond back with "f” after you spill your feelings out like this? (Take me back, Emma.) Huh? What if I did it to you? F. Did you fuckin' like that? What, did you just jizz in your pants because someone disregarded your entire effort of writing this ENTIRE paragraph FROM HAND in about fifteen minutes? That just makes me feel fucking rejected just like my ex. (Take me back, Roxanne.) f. What're you, fuckin' gay? Can I have a response that actually MEANS something instead of just shitfacing our "conversation" with the spam of "f?”. Now occasionally with questions or something it's reasonable, but doing it to any fucking response they say. "We're having a nuclear crisis, you have fifteen minutes to evacuate." You're the type of person that would fuckin' say "f” to that, you limp dick hypocrite. You think you can get away with this, right? You think it's SOOOOOO funny to do this shit, but I can guarantee that you'll be taken out back and shot soon. You're fucking dead, "f”ucker.
2020-03-31 13:35
#53
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
Fuckers in school telling me, always in the barber shop Chief Keef ain’t bout this, Chief Keef ain’t bout that My boy a BD on fucking Lamron and them He, he they say that nigga don’t be putting in no work SHUT THE FUCK UP! Y'all niggas ain’t know shit All ya motherfuckers talk about Chief Keef ain’t no hitta Chief Keef ain’t this Chief Keef a fake SHUT THE FUCK UP Y'all don’t live with that nigga Y'all know that nigga got caught with a ratchet Shootin' at the police and shit Nigga been on probation since fuckin, I don’t know when! Motherfuckers stop fuckin' playin' him like that Them niggas savages out there If I catch another motherfucker talking sweet about Chief Keef I’m fucking beating they ass! I’m not fucking playing no more You know those niggas role with Lil' Reese and them
2020-03-31 13:36
Wowwwww, you meow like a cat! That means you are one, right? Shut the fuck up. If you really want to be put on a leash and treated like a domestic animal then that’s called a fetish, not “quirky” or “cute”. What part of you seriously thinks that any part of acting like a feline establishes a reputation of appreciation? Is it your lack of any defining aspect of personality that urges you to resort to shitty representations of cats to create an illusion of meaning in your worthless life? Wearing “cat ears” in the shape of headbands further notes the complete absence of human attribution to your false sense of personality, such as intelligence or charisma in any form or shape. Where do you think this mindset’s gonna lead you? You think you’re funny, random, quirky even? What makes you think that acting like a fucking cat will make a goddamn hyena laugh? I, personally, feel extremely sympathetic towards you as your only escape from the worthless thing you call your existence is to pretend to be an animal. But it’s not a worthy choice to assert this horrifying fact as a dominant trait, mainly because personality traits require an initial personality to lay their foundation on. You’re not worthy of anybody’s time, so go fuck off, “cat-girl”.
2020-03-31 13:36
#57
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
They gotta put up with bigoted shit from close minded nutcases who think that they all support ISIS or some stupid crap like that. I seriously thought that in this day and age people were past that sort of idiocy thinking that anyone with a twinge of middle-eastern in em is out to bomb us. It's ridiculous. Leave them be. They didn't cause trouble. A bunch of cowardly extremists hiding behind their religion did. I genuinely feel awful for knowing that somewhere out there a muslim girl is taking shit from a lunatic on the street, being called a conspirator just for wearing a hijab. They got enough of this racist shit from 9/11, surely by now people learned what's what and quit stopped blaming innocent muslims on the acts of violent extremists. ISIS is a disgrace to the religion, yet they act as if they are the "voice of Islam" and they in turn make everyone else look bad. It's like how the Westboro Baptist Church made Christianity look bad, except in this case it's worse. Don't be close minded. Y'all know better than to assume that Islamic people are cheering ISIS on. They're just as shaken up by em as we are if not more so. Hug a Muslim today. (with permission, don't be creepy)
2020-03-31 13:39
Hello there, you useless piece of nobody, I've been tracking you down for, ehm, like, 3-4 weeks? anyways I've found your current IPv4, and internet data, well kind of, anyways these are really valuable info you know? I got them fully set on with my hacking abilities, my Kali Linux OS and 23 VPNs, as well as my invisible tracker. If you want to talk to me, then you can contact me through my lawyer, I have a fully set on case so you can't do anything legally, I tried telling you before but you wouldn't listen, this is my shining moment, you trash talked me on MINECRAFT thinking I was some dumb 9 year old, but I wasn't, I'm an elite hacker, and would you know it? I tracked you down. Just to add some fear and shock to this, here's what I will do with your not-so-protected data. I'll post your data on every deep web private information board I know of, I'll send your data to my elite hacker friends to mess with it however they please, I'll make sure your data is spread everywhere so you can see how much of a failure you are, you tried acting cool and edgy but now look at you, you are helpless as your data is being spread everywhere. This is why you don't mess with me, I learned programming for 4 years and then moved on to software penetrating for 8 whole years, yet you, you tried acting cool and tough in front of me, this is a sad moment for you, you picked the wrong person to do this to, you failed terribly, and you'll see the consequences There is no way for you to get a hold of your data, no guarantee, you'll always live in shame knowing your data is probably with some human trafficking group. You failed, miserably, and now, it's my time to shine.
2020-03-31 13:39
#59
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
Seriously motherfucker, you think you can pull that kind of shit off on me? I go hunting every single weekend motherfucker and if you even try to take a single one of my rights away I'll start hunting you. That's right bitch; you'll be eating a bullet for dinner and I'll be the chef. Call me insane all you want. You're just fucking jealous because I could kick your ass in 1,597 ways with my hands and various weapons such as glaives and firearms. I'm ready for war bitch. I'm make your miserable little life hell so long as you're alive if you keep messing with me. Tomahawks, Damascus blades, bows, lever-actions, M240 B, M16, M4, MK 19, AT-4, and tons of Russian firearms to use just for people like you. Don't ask how I got these firearms; I have rights and you don't need to know. In fact, fuck you! Fuck you and your rights! Call me a hypocrite all you want but if you're gonna try to take my rights, I'm gonna try to take your life. You're on my list motherfucker. Tell me the name of your school pussy. I'll show up and we can have a nice Columbine reenactment except instead of the school being my target, I'll just kill you. You're dead now motherfucker. Fuck you and your mom. Your dog is fucking dead too bitch. Don't try to run and hide either pussy. If I can get ahold of all these weapons, you should have already assumed that I can find your location in the blink of an eye so go ahead and try it pussy. I'll find your ass in a heartbeat. I have the current record for killing the biggest buck in my neighborhood. If I can kill an 11-point, 2,238 pound deer, I'm 100% sure I can slaughter your pussy ass too and you bet I can get away with it. I'm friends with every cop in the neighborhood bitch. I'm UNTOUCHABLE. You're nothing but a worthless piece of shit that probably "trolls" behind a fucking computer screen like the real Faggot you are. That's right, you're Faggot with a capital F because that's your official title pussy. You're fucking dead to me and everyone else on the planet. You probably didn't realize that I already had all your personal information and school address pulled up the moment you started talking shit. This is the biggest mistake you've ever fucking made in your life. I'll see you at school Faggot.
2020-03-31 13:42
you won GG man
2020-03-31 13:45
#63
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
was a pleasure mate. gg vwp
2020-03-31 13:49
what the hell guys
2020-04-16 12:12
#120
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
just a casual day at the office bro
2020-04-16 12:29
#142
Snax | 
Europe Bambi_AT 
and what is your job lmao
2020-04-20 15:59
#143
cyx | 
Germany Shadyy89 
IT Support / Networkadministration
2020-04-20 16:31
damn i have to scroll this comment to read wtfhltv
2020-04-20 16:39
#41
JW | 
Canada sexiestuser 
best paste ive ever seen
2020-03-31 13:31
it's pretty old tho
2020-03-31 13:36
old but not best (jw best)
2020-03-31 15:03
mens))
2020-03-31 17:10
mens))
2020-04-01 01:27
#11
flusha | 
Germany felo 
There are plenty of good HLTV memes tf are u talking about? Just because you only know one or two of them doesn't mean that all of them are bad
2020-03-31 12:29
There are so many good ones, how ever "who cars" is sub par and "mens" is fucking retarded. All the good ones are from 2+ years ago.
2020-03-31 12:43
stopped reading after off topic
2020-03-31 12:39
mens)) join in this school classroom hltv can be strong mens classroom.google.com/invite/accept_token..
2020-03-31 12:41
i forgot now how to properly write this
2020-03-31 12:44
is this happens because we are from hltv?
2020-03-31 12:45
#19
 | 
Estonia teremartin 
don't join.
2020-03-31 12:47
mens)))
2020-03-31 12:47
mens)))
2020-04-02 04:11
men)))
2020-04-02 05:20
mens))
2020-04-11 18:25
mens))))
2020-04-15 10:59
mens)))))
2020-04-15 15:37
whamens)))
2020-04-16 15:22
mens))
2020-04-20 18:23
There is no HLTV memes
2020-03-31 12:47
wtfmen))
2020-04-01 15:15
Those shit you're talking about, are you sober? or is it just after you make love to your boyfriend?
2020-03-31 12:51
Mens)))
2020-03-31 12:54
mens))
2020-03-31 17:27
mens))
2020-04-16 15:34
#24
 | 
Sweden Velocityyy 
locker boy
2020-03-31 12:54
nt prokda
2020-04-08 13:04
'who cars' wasnt created like that lol
2020-03-31 12:55
#26
 | 
Czech Republic FriendlyCzech 
tl:dr
2020-03-31 12:57
mens))
2020-03-31 13:06
mens))
2020-03-31 18:32
#31
 | 
Hungary Shiron212 
mens))) is the best meme
2020-03-31 13:21
+1 mens))
2020-03-31 14:49
mens))
2020-04-16 12:03
mens)))
2020-04-16 12:05
mens))
2020-04-16 15:14
mens))
2020-04-19 04:46
#35
 | 
Russia Ingushetia 
Ok
2020-03-31 13:25
Uff... You almosted give me earth attack, I think a fox Vac.
2020-03-31 13:28
I'm feeling thank you
2020-03-31 13:33
#55
 | 
Brazil Mibr_Fan_Help 
Of course, all of the replies to this thread will be "who cars," but there's nothing I can do about that, so I'll just get my thoughts out there anyway.
2020-03-31 13:37
#56
 | 
Korea XigNw0w 
Uuf you almosted give me earth attack I think fox vac
2020-03-31 13:38
wtf are u want
2020-03-31 13:43
i was dont know this details
2020-03-31 13:44
is it happened cause we a from bulgaria
2020-03-31 14:28
like actually who cars lol
2020-03-31 14:29
#67
mika | 
Spain VIKTORAL 
true people try too hard nowadays old hltv had real good memes, not this trash
2020-03-31 14:50
+1
2020-04-20 15:51
#68
 | 
Poland friendlySeb 
Actually HLTV memes never were funny :X sad true.
2020-03-31 14:50
#75
 | 
Brazil hrp__ 
-1 who cars isn't forced It was a mistake made in hltv chat
2020-03-31 18:40
juliano is so delicate and cute, she like a flower
2020-03-31 18:40
lenin_is_back on your bed What do youd do?
2020-03-31 21:30
#89
 | 
Germany lenin_is_back 
i would fuck
2020-04-01 11:23
Ask jermen punish him
2020-04-08 09:26
#80
arT | 
Brazil Maujubudo 
@fiscal_de_meme
2020-03-31 21:30
HLTV memes have really jumped the shark. Memes used to have humor and character to them. "I aren't think that" is funny not only because it is bad english but because it feels like a natural ridiculous deviation from the norm. "Who cars" reads like an hltv meme made by someone trying to create an hltv meme, instead of happening naturally. It makes me sad to see such bad memes dominating the current state of hltv. We need to let retards create memes naturally instead of forcing them. The lower influx is probably due to the crackdown on bait accounts (even though they added sport mode), which decreases the number of people writing stupid nonsense. Of course, all of the replies to this thread will be "who cars," but there's nothing I can do about that, so I'll just get my thoughts out there anyway.
2020-04-01 03:30
Schnauze
2020-04-01 03:33
#86
 | 
Brazil zZ3USz 
"hltv memes"
2020-04-01 03:42
hltv mens))
2020-04-01 20:07
mens))
2020-04-02 09:44
mens))
2020-04-20 21:53
are you stupid? or just dumb?
2020-04-01 03:45
im dumb, not stupid
2020-04-01 15:42
mens((
2020-04-10 09:01
mens))
2020-04-15 16:45
mens))
2020-04-15 20:36
mens))
2020-04-16 15:17
#88
 | 
France MarioReL 
you're old if you remember the greatest meme of HLTV : "azk he is the north american player but the titan he is the french stars".
2020-04-01 03:51
#90
 | 
United States SLAM_THE_FART 
im pretty sure almost everyone on hltv knows this meme
2020-04-01 11:33
#92
 | 
Germany lenin_is_back 
+1
2020-04-01 12:36
+1
2020-04-14 00:32
+1
2020-04-16 15:26
I got minced meat for my lunch
2020-04-01 11:40
mmm yummy
2020-04-01 15:24
too many newfags on hltv = dead memes all the braindead kids should go back to playing fortnite smh my head
2020-04-01 20:13
#104
 | 
Germany Xantennn 
I are'nt cars this mens))) 🚗🚗🚗
2020-04-08 09:37
i was dont know this details is still the best one.
2020-04-10 09:03
What a useless thread!!!!!!!
2020-04-16 12:12
who cars
2020-04-16 15:24
#130
 | 
Brazil fazecrack 
coldzera skilled player but that is not normally, This very very insane....They need to check him pc and game.....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit ...and this cant seem on game screen..He needs to check-up....Day0s FPL Cheater with Streaming.....I think day0s still cheating...coldzera using game deficit on PRO scene ,ON BIG Events.Maybe everyone dont knows him trick.He incredible....I want to ask his where is the comming of your skill's ?
2020-04-19 04:51
cold_in_2k20_lul just common player
2020-04-19 15:11
#134
 | 
Brazil fazecrack 
gla1ve skilled player but that is not normally, This very very insane....They need to check him pc and game.....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit ...and this cant seem on game screen..He needs to check-up....Day0s FPL Cheater with Streaming.....I think day0s still cheating...gla1ve using game deficit on PRO scene ,ON BIG Events.Maybe everyone dont knows him trick.He incredible....I want to ask his where is the comming of your skill's ?
2020-04-19 15:38
#137
 | 
Poland rude_wredne 
WTF is game deficit
2020-04-19 15:42
gla1ve cheating? seems more you just mad D:
2020-04-20 14:33
+1
2020-04-21 03:01
memes in general are shit now because people force them too much and they spam them too much which leads to them getting stale very fast
2020-04-19 15:14
#138
 | 
Poland rude_wredne 
I agree mens but some memes never die like "who cars"
2020-04-19 15:43
[Only Premium HLTV users can see this comment]
2020-04-19 15:21
who bumped this 3 weeks later?
2020-04-19 15:39
i didn't i swear
2020-04-21 17:25
Bpro
1.64
BIG Academy
2.20
fnatic
1.16
GODSENT
5.45
Evil Geniuses
1.64
Gen.G
2.30
Bet value
Amount of money to be placed
Winning
Odds total ratio
-
Login or register to add your comment to the discussion.