I'm sorry if my English is confusing, it's not my first language, and I have to use google translate to translate 70% of the article.
I've recently spent all my money on betting.
I am an International student, who just lost a job, used up all my money and now have no money left to pay off my rent.
My rent due day was May 18, and now my Landlord is spamming reminder messages every day. Last week, I just sold my PC for $ 800, but it was not enough to pay the rent, so I decided to bet on csgo thinking that I could win $ 1213 to pay the rent.
However, with a good start, I was addicted to betting. After losing continuously, I decided not to stop but continue betting, hoping that I could get up to $ 1213 to pay the rent. But now I have nothing left.
A lot of stupid matches happened, "Fnatic couldn't win +1.5 ??", "Chaos lost to KTCU", "Complexity lost to SKADE ???", and then a series of ESEA MDL games were there like fixed. ... and then now it's all done with "KTCU win Under 21" and "Buffdaddy's paypal win SC".
I don't understand what is going on anymore. Although I tried to invest into games with odd "1.5, 1.6 and even 1.2", I still could not win.
Now I'm depressed, feeling like I don't know what to do. I hate corona, because I should be working now and I could make enough money to pay off my rent. Yet this pandemic is bullshit. I'm an International student so I have 0 help from the government.
I am an A student, I know I have potential, but now I have nothing, so I feel like there's really 0 reason to live on. I am scared, I am thinking of overdose myself with drugs. Every time the landlord messages me, it pushes me to do it, to end this stupid life.
I know some of you have been through a lot, some are older than me, and some are currently betting or in a deficit. That's why I need an advice from you guys, I hope that everyone will be serious and not make fun of this topic, or make fun of my English.