Thread has been deleted
Last comment
Was I just born without being able to be happy?
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
My whole life I have always been clinging onto the thinnest ropes. It's always been that I have to look over my shoulder four of eighty times before I can relax. Someone asked me if I know how to relax, I never responded but I already knew the answer. HLTV is probably the only relaxing place I can be with other people right now. Especially when I notice other people just don't like me and I don't like them. I am smart (iq ~130) And other people have said I am attractive Yet my personality and social skills are terrible and I'm a skittish neurotic mess who barely gets by and never tries at anything. I am somewhat creative and I can think on a level above almost everyone my age yet its irrelevant. My parents were so old when they created me that the level of mutation in my genes is equivalent to first cousin incest. I am basically inbred. Nothing I try or do with myself feels good. I feel miserable all the time and have since I was very young. I hate that I know I do better than the majority of my peers even with all the neurosis and endless somatic pain. While I feel that other people are beneath me and are incapable to notice the same patterns or things I do, I am incapable to ever achieve the healthy psychology or social viability
2020-05-31 11:36
Topics are hidden when running Sport mode.
#1
 | 
Kazakhstan I_eat_horse 
smart mens always sad mens
2020-05-31 11:41
#2
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I know lots of intelligent people that are far above me in iq, they don't seem to have the same neurological problems.
2020-05-31 11:42
#18
 | 
Poland Recruitn1 
Dont worry it's not depression its just somekind of problem that can be fixed,i used to not be happy at all everything was so miserable. But then i started to talk more and more to people to get their point of view wich probably changed me in someway imaginable
2020-05-31 12:08
#25
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I have talked to people about mental issues and read about it more or less on a daily basis, I just feel nothing it never gets better.
2020-05-31 12:13
#38
 | 
Poland Recruitn1 
You should talk with people from outside not read about it imo it ll never help you.
2020-05-31 12:20
#40
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
it seems to have helped me a fair deal actually and its pretty fascinating material.
2020-05-31 12:21
#45
 | 
Poland Recruitn1 
in some cases it will, but you need to learn from people wich is actually the most important what do they enjoy it can teach you, what you will enjoy.
2020-05-31 12:23
#41
 | 
Sweden Madrigals1 
no mens. Sad mens are mostly a little bit smarter than regular mens, but the most smartest mens are never sad, at least not publicly
2020-05-31 12:21
Most smartest r never sad yes. Even when bein alone. Only not smart mens searching for happiness, most smartest r happy every second of their life
2020-05-31 13:39
#201
 | 
Sweden Madrigals1 
not because theyr happy of everything, they just tend to do things, so that they can become happier
2020-05-31 17:38
#108
 | 
Ukraine mortydefiled 
dead inside pussies inbound
2020-05-31 13:08
#110
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
*poor Ukrainian wheat farmers inbound
2020-05-31 13:10
#111
 | 
Ukraine mortydefiled 
lmao depressed 14yo got offended upd: whats wrong with farming life lol?
2020-05-31 13:12
#114
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
not offended for making snide remarks, I simply reciprocated your demeanor. nothing inherently wrong with farm life but if you're doing it in Ukraine chances are you are pretty poor
2020-05-31 13:15
#122
 | 
Ukraine mortydefiled 
lul r u trying to amaze me with this lexic? i doubt ive seen any american/british person using this in everyday life kekw also u seem not to understand what farming life is and what money it could bring
2020-05-31 13:21
#124
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
you mean lexicon? its just always how I've talked, probably as a result of mental illness. I mean what something can bring isn't what it does bring so go figure.
2020-05-31 13:22
#129
 | 
Ukraine mortydefiled 
nah i mean lexic. im now almost 100% sure u r pretty much one of those dead inside kids with "no one understands me" and other shit like that
2020-05-31 13:25
#116
 | 
Kazakhstan I_eat_horse 
dead inside urod outside
2020-05-31 13:17
#3
flusha | 
Finland ))) 
>"And other people have said I am attractive" >"mutation in my genes is equivalent to first cousin incest. I am basically inbred." ---- >"I am smart (iq ~130)" >"depression" Pick 1 from each category
2020-05-31 11:42
#5
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
IQ measured 130 while I was severely depressed I am very tall and I have probably gotten less attractive with the depression though.
2020-05-31 11:46
Wtf is ur point? Makes now sense at all....why shouldnt u look good whith some mutated genes, why shouldnt u be smart and depresses lmao
2020-05-31 12:23
Stupid ppl tend to be happier though, that's a fact.
2020-05-31 12:24
People with an iq level of highest caliber also tends to be more happier than average people, we can interpret happines levels as (x+-A > x+-a) where; x represents the average level of iq, A represents the big differences between iq levels (either way too low or high than average ) i.e high level of standart deviation and a is vice versa of A. Of course that are lots of other factors in this normalization of the data (such as hormonal disorders) but this can still be used to understand in a basic way. Yes, stupid people tend to be happier because they are more likely to be far away from understanding whats going on in the world rather than questioning every little detail which is given from outside resources (such as religional and political stuff). When it comes to people who can be considered as "x+a" they are more likely to be depressed due to the fact that, they know and able to see whats going on and more likely to react to it by taking actions against government irl or via social media. As you can see they are aware of the problems and they're trying to change it by internalizing the problem itself. Lastly the "x+A" guys. Those guys actually thinks alike with "x+a" guys but the biggest difference is that, besides all the negativity in the world the only thing that they really care is their own peace of mind. Even though they will still try to change the things that they can, they will not be obsessed with the consequences of them instead they accept everything and move on. So why would you care too much about outside facts and let them disturb you? Given that you have a limited time and the best thing you can do is to live a happy, peaceful life.
2020-05-31 15:18
more like delusional
2020-05-31 12:33
#4
leaf | 
Spain aquacsgo 
ironacally, u can be good looking or intelligent and still be depressed thats how dopamino works, seek some proffesional help ad everything will improve, i had the same problem except im pretty average but it literaaly changed my life, i met new people, friends and my confidence improved a lot because of that my communication skills improved and now im playing in a semi-pro cs team just keep fighting
2020-05-31 11:44
#6
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
fighting what? there is no chance for me, I was just born this way
2020-05-31 11:47
#33
jOELZ | 
Finland J3bediah 
That’s just your mindset. Stop whining and life your life. Anybody can do anything if they find the motivation
2020-05-31 12:17
#35
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
thats erroneous and factually false. I was born with severe genetic defection not much more to say on the matter
2020-05-31 12:19
#87
jOELZ | 
Finland J3bediah 
You just have to make the best from your life and accept your faith. I used to be depressed because of my height. (Im very short for a 22yo dude) but i just got over it and trying to be as good as a human i can be.
2020-05-31 12:49
#90
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
thats not how my brain or yours works.
2020-05-31 12:51
Lol "i was born this way" kekwkekwkekw xdddddd most stupid thing ive seen in a while. U sure bout ur 130iq? Maybe 30iq?? Axaxa. I WAS BORN THIS WAY......
2020-05-31 13:41
The guy with 130iq would never talk about things like that
2020-05-31 11:56
Though the same +1
2020-05-31 12:59
#165
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
probably because Im a lot more depressed than when I took the iq test and very tired from improper sleep schedule / sleep deprivation.
2020-05-31 14:38
I meant that 130 iq guy would never flex about it, but maybe depression made you doubt about your worth, so it helps you. Dunno but I wish the best for you mate!
2020-06-01 01:43
#203
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
its not a flex. its just a psychometric, and if you aren't a person with 130 iq then wtf do you know about that. If I wasn't sleep deprived or in a poor mood I wouldn't brought it up
2020-06-01 01:48
Yeah so I'm not that smart to understand you and your problems, typical. If you need help go the a specialist, but wait. He may be only 120 iq, whats then?
2020-06-01 03:04
wdym? I don't understand I can relate on some points and understand what this guy is feeling
2020-05-31 14:38
#8
Frankie | 
Italy J1reN 
another retard acting like broken guys and suicide shits to get more attention,brother,if u wanna live for your self then hello,if not,7000000000-1 will remain 7000000000 :)
2020-05-31 12:00
#15
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
never said I was going to commit suicide, nice bait though
2020-05-31 12:07
#9
Europe 322iq 
pussy lmao
2020-05-31 12:02
#10
COCAINE | 
Mongolia bozgor 
which sub are you browsing for these shit baits? 👌🙁
2020-05-31 12:03
#12
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
not a bait when I have had suicidal thoughts since I was very young ~3rd grade
2020-05-31 12:05
#26
COCAINE | 
Mongolia bozgor 
no wonder, living in a third world shithole without any culture nor proper parenting is harsh 👌😎
2020-05-31 12:13
#28
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
yes
2020-05-31 12:13
You can't sit on your ass and stay as you were born, don't put a box around yourself. Look out and explore the ways you can change and improve yourself.
2020-05-31 12:04
#13
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I attempt to improve myself everyday, go out for runs, get exercise, eat healthy etc. but I always end up feeling the same
2020-05-31 12:06
because you're alone
2020-05-31 12:08
#20
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I am not alone I have friends etc. I just don't feel a need to socialize etc. I have been invited to parties etc, just never went
2020-05-31 12:09
Is there anything you enjoy in life?
2020-05-31 12:11
#24
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I do not know, I have never felt like I hate something or enjoy it. I don't always feel sad but I never really feel enjoyment maybe I'm a schizoid or something
2020-05-31 12:12
sounds like you're apathetic You need to find something that you enjoy, a direction in life and then finding the right people that you enjoy the company of, having friends doesn't really mean anything if you don't feel happy with them or don't enjoy their company
2020-05-31 12:15
#32
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I don't really enjoy anyone's company I don't feel like I ever have. Other people are just baggage that look after themselves and the only case in which they look after you is when they feel the compulsion of their own self interest to do so. I don't really control the direction of my life so what can I say hopefully that will change soon though.
2020-05-31 12:17
Who controls the direction of your life then? What are you doing? Studying, working? Have any plans? "I don't really enjoy anyone's company I don't feel like I ever have" Yeah I assumed that, that's why I said you need to find the right people, if you don't get along with a group of people it doesn't mean that you are "broken"
2020-05-31 12:19
#39
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I study, I have plans. I never said I was a "broken" person. It just ends up not being relevant. I have found the right people but they are often times like me, introverted and disinterested in others. So the only people that have ever been receptive don't resemble me at all.
2020-05-31 12:21
I would suggest you to see a therapist, I've read the thread and I understand that you're underage and have a complicated relationship with your parents, question is: you think they won't listen because you think they hate you, or have you actually asked them and they didn't listen?
2020-05-31 14:55
#179
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
Because they are very volatile and I don't trust them, and because they respond with anguish or annoyance whenever I mention even a somatic health problem, either way they don't really care
2020-05-31 14:56
Well you won't have no one else until you're 18 1) ask them, don't assume, ask them and don't just mention it, say that you want to see someone 2) if that fails ask your relatives 3) If that doesn't work either, try to look for something else, I read that there are consulting services in similar cases
2020-05-31 15:02
I don't mean physical exercises. Isn't the problem with your mind?
2020-05-31 12:13
#29
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
Yes and that effects my mind as well. I have changed my routines I regulate by behaviors but I end up with the same outlook and personality.
2020-05-31 12:14
Before continuing this conversation, I think I need to clarify few things, that seems to me to be putting us onto different pages. 1. I am not sure why, but it appears that you're putting priority on what I consider to be fleeting emotions. What exactly do you mean by not being able to feel happiness? Why is that so important to you? 2. Neuroticism by itself is not bad? Does it not have it's own share of advantages as well?
2020-05-31 12:39
#14
 | 
Turkey Tempexx 
Do you listen to music?
2020-05-31 12:06
#16
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I have my own mp3 player with about 8 songs / tracks on it. I only got it recently though.
2020-05-31 12:07
#43
 | 
Turkey Tempexx 
Listen to more music. It could help.
2020-05-31 12:22
#44
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I am listening to music right now, even if it helps it never really changes anything.
2020-05-31 12:22
#48
 | 
Turkey Tempexx 
Music is there to help us get through it until we find a real solution.
2020-05-31 12:23
#52
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
ahhahaha, there is no solution its a genetic disposition I was just born this way.
2020-05-31 12:24
#58
 | 
Turkey Tempexx 
There's always hope for a cure/solution
2020-05-31 12:29
#60
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
all of the worst diseases or syndromes have no cure. There is no cure to bad genetics.
2020-05-31 12:29
#17
 | 
Korea XigNw0w 
Go for a walk.
2020-05-31 12:07
#21
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I have been biking for 8 plus miles for the past few months. Because of growing pains everywhere I go my feet or hands are in constant pain
2020-05-31 12:10
#30
 | 
Korea XigNw0w 
Maybe contact a doctor if you have such hard physical pain, it's not healthy at all having to live with them.
2020-05-31 12:15
#34
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I have contacted doctors, they don't do anything for me. Just say take medication for anxiety as if that will do anything
2020-05-31 12:18
#36
 | 
Korea XigNw0w 
Do you have a chance to contact some private doctor, I know those are expensive as hell, but they know what they are doing. Make it very clear that you have hard pains that are just growing.
2020-05-31 12:19
#42
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
idk how to do that, I'm not even 16 years old
2020-05-31 12:22
#46
 | 
Korea XigNw0w 
Ask your parents if they can do so, I'm sure that they love you and will do so if they have resources to do so. Make sure that they realize the seriousness of this situation.
2020-05-31 12:23
#53
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
my parents hate me, I just had to stop my dad from beating the shit out of me this morning.
2020-05-31 12:24
Ohh wtf....get some support, maybe from some friends/ parents of friends, if not maybe go to the police secretely, maybe they habe some contact, if not u could call for some help to a callcenter that is specialised on those things....or tell a teachet u trust..... U need help
2020-05-31 12:32
#78
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I go to a private school if I call the police and get removed I cannot go to the same school anymore.I don't have any evidence and the police will never believe a mentally ill person.
2020-05-31 12:38
American police fucked up though U shouldnt call tje police just walk up to the office and ask for some help/advice maybe, they should be able tobget u in touch withbsome professionals that could help u
2020-05-31 12:40
#83
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
seems like good advice but professionals can lock you away if they feel you are a danger to others...
2020-05-31 12:41
Ur not a danger to others wtf? At least from what youve told...
2020-05-31 12:51
#94
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
doesn't mean that a psychologist with a checklist itching to get more funding for their facility couldn't deem otherwise.
2020-05-31 12:52
Give it a try at least....they wont lock u away unless u feel like doing some bad stuff to other ppl...
2020-05-31 12:53
#102
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
yeah I understand that. will try eventually but there is nothing for me to do right now.
2020-05-31 13:00
theres your problem get away from your parents then you will get better
2020-05-31 14:31
#161
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
can never get away from my parents I am my parents + a great deal of mutation.
2020-05-31 14:32
yayaya we are all copies of our parents ok, incredible you figured it out with your autistic mind gj thats not what i meant get away from your parents , physical distance and you will feel better, its that simple
2020-05-31 14:42
#168
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
yeah just become homeless and all of the bad parenting / abuse will disappear ahahahah
2020-05-31 14:42
nvm now i can understand your dad
2020-05-31 14:46
+1 dont ever give up...maybe ut parents dont want to realise it in the first place butbat some point they will! And there are some lets say weird dovtors out there who approach things another way than just pumping medication into you, which obviously doesnt work in most cases, u need to find one likebthat And give urself time bro....thers a lot of time ahead of u, a lot of time for everything to change! Btw did u see a good psychicologist yet? Wish u all the best!
2020-05-31 12:29
#64
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
parents don't care about the seriousness of the situation they are getting old , abusive, and senile.
2020-05-31 12:31
#67 Then do that shit without ur parrlents, maybe u have a nice uncle, grandparents, friends parents etc etc....u need to find some help bro
2020-05-31 12:33
#77
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
all of my relatives live on the other side of the USA as to how I could finance medical care without my parents involvement....
2020-05-31 12:37
An organisation specialised on those things could help u maybe... or (i dunno how closebu are tobthem) butayne some friends parents u trust and that u feel like u...
2020-05-31 12:39
#85
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I don't think you know how it is in the USA they will send you to the ward if you check enough boxes or give some ineffectual advice then send you home with bankruptcy pills.
2020-05-31 12:43
Wow really? Stupid country But trump wants to make amaeica great again....when i hear what u just said its even more sad combined with the things going on rn.....not so great at all... But anyways there has to be some way for u to get help I mean u dont lose anythig trying out, if it doesnt work at least u know that ull never go there again, it propably wont make things worse so just try some stuff! G2g now though Good luck and all the best! I believe u can do it:)
2020-05-31 12:51
not even 16 .. meanwhile it used to be normal to go age 30 before becoming stable shitass zoomer bait
2020-05-31 12:26
#56
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
not baiting everything I said in the post was true, go fuck yourself retard
2020-05-31 12:27
no no f u many people got HIGHER numbers than you and they went thru both shitter and not as shitty , episodes in their lives its normal as hell just miss out on everything and afk til 40, call it genious life, EZ, HAY EINSTEIN HAD THE SAME 123 omegalul kek-double-you
2020-05-31 12:54
#97
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
You know nothing about my everyday life or my past yet you make a million generalizations. just fk off m8
2020-05-31 12:55
i brought out an ACTUAL true-to-practice suggestion tried-and-tested by time, you wil enjoy NO SARCASM
2020-05-31 13:03
#106
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I think you are more delirious than me
2020-05-31 13:03
Jesus.
2020-05-31 12:11
Bro if this is not bait you sound like an extremely arrogant motherfucker. If you want to improve on your social skills, that might be a place to start.
2020-05-31 12:23
#54
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
arrogant? maybe just tired rn, I am not the best rider at 4:00 am and with a migraine
2020-05-31 12:25
My whole life I have always been clinging onto the thinnest ropes. It's always been that I have to look over my shoulder four of eighty times before I can relax. Someone asked me if I know how to relax, I never responded but I already knew the answer. HLTV is probably the only relaxing place I can be with other people right now. Especially when I notice other people just don't like me and I don't like them. I am smart (iq ~130) And other people have said I am attractive Yet my personality and social skills are terrible and I'm a skittish neurotic mess who barely gets by and never tries at anything. I am somewhat creative and I can think on a level above almost everyone my age yet its irrelevant. My parents were so old when they created me that the level of mutation in my genes is equivalent to first cousin incest. I am basically inbred. Nothing I try or do with myself feels good. I feel miserable all the time and have since I was very young. I hate that I know I do better than the majority of my peers even with all the neurosis and endless somatic pain. While I feel that other people are beneath me and are incapable to notice the same patterns or things I do, I am incapable to ever achieve the healthy psychology or social viability
2020-05-31 12:24
Everyone in this thread - mind you, with the best of intentions - seems to take the "everything will get better if you do ... or if you talk to ..." stance. Truth is, to put it very simply, some people's average happiness is an 8/10, with fluctuations between 7/10 and 9/10. For others, such as this guy, average happiness might be 4/10 with fluctuations between 2/10 and 6/10. That basic 'scale' has nothing to do with attractiveness, intelligence or anything like that - some brains are just wired that way. Now OP, it's up to you to try your hardest to stay as close to that 6/10 as possible and live comfortably at least. Spend time on things you love. Don't engage in social interactions you don't get anything out of, with people you don't like. Get the degree you wanna get (preferably something you're good at), even if its job prospects aren't the best. Be your own person, stop caring as much about things you believe you 'should' care about and you might just end up as happy as a person with your brain can be.
2020-05-31 12:28
#75
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I don't think even half of what you said is true. I'm aware of the Hedonic Set Point thank you very much.
2020-05-31 12:35
> Everyone in this thread - mind you, with the best of intentions - seems to take the "everything will get better if you do ... or if you talk to ..." stance. > Now OP, it's up to you to try your hardest to stay as close to that 6/10 as possible and live comfortably at least. Spend time on things you love. Don't engage in social interactions you don't get anything out of, with people you don't like. Get the degree you wanna get (preferably something you're good at), even if its job prospects aren't the best. Be your own person, stop caring as much about things you believe you 'should' care about and you might just end up as happy as a person with your brain can be. Bipolar disorder?
2020-05-31 13:16
Lmao, you really are dumb, aren't you?
2020-05-31 13:21
#123
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
bad bait and or your opinion is irrelevant
2020-05-31 13:21
Edgy, antisocial teen. You will grow up one day and look at your present self like I’m looking at you right now
2020-05-31 13:23
Try no-fap.
2020-05-31 12:29
#62
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I was always depressed before I started to fap. Have tried to no-fap lasted months but stopped caring etc.
2020-05-31 12:30
What do you find pleasurable? What can you submerge yourself into and feel comfortable with?
2020-05-31 12:30
#66
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
idk I don't think I can recall anything specific that makes me happy.
2020-05-31 12:31
Happy is really a subjective and not lasting feeling. Pleasure is a whole other beast. Have you sought pleasure in nature? Watching beautiful things and be amazed about how human skills can create art and science?
2020-05-31 12:34
#74
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
Yes I understand that, I cannot recall anything that arouses pleasure within me other then perhaps reading wikipedia
2020-05-31 12:35
Take a porcelain cup with a warm beverage in - feel the heat against your fingers - the smoothness of the cups texture. You can find pleasure everywhere - unless you have some chemistry unbalance in your brain. You might have - dunno
2020-05-31 12:37
#79
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
wtf did I just read???
2020-05-31 12:38
Ok - what I wrote didn't make any sense? I mean that you have to be able to find the pleasure in the smallest of things - in order to enjoy the larger things - be aware of your surroundings.
2020-05-31 12:40
#84
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I am always aware of my surroundings everywhere I go to a significant degree I parse through everything around me. I just don't feel any happiness as a result.
2020-05-31 12:42
Tough one - can't really relate to that. Allthough I seldom feel true thrilling happiness, there is pleasure to find everywhere for me; a good gin matched with a nice tonic - a good match of cs:go to watch, a nice cup of coffee or watching the blossoms in the garden I strongly suggest you get some help - you seem to be depressed (no shit, Sherlock). Best wishes for you <3
2020-05-31 12:50
#65
 | 
Turkey tastemycobra 
I was pretty much in the same state like you until i started making my decisions by coin toss!.. yeah coin toss kinda changed my life. i asked everything to coin toss. i ate, exercised, masturbated according to coin toss decisions lol. I also made bigger decisions according to it. It made me move to my own place and quit my job for a better one when i wouldnt dare on my own. Also, pushed me to chase after this girl who rejected me at first. And she rejected me real badly, but now i am with her lol... Guess what? I even coin tossed about writing this lol. I sometimes think it may be god who is helping me through a coin toss. I always ended up doing the right thing for me by letting the coin decide my fate. I was a loser, man... Never took risks, always avoided confrontation doing the safe choices etc. Good thing about coin toss, it rids you of the indecisiveness and gets you moving... It made me a better person really, maybe it helps to you as well idk
2020-05-31 12:31
#72
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
If this isn't a bait I will try that out with my coins.
2020-05-31 12:33
#89
 | 
Turkey tastemycobra 
What's to bait? It's coin toss... Either heads or tails... 50/50... Even if it makes the wrong choice, it is still better than doing nothing. The only thing is you should abide all its decisions. For example, you exercise when it tells you to, even if you dont feel like it. Or you dont order pizza when it doesnt let you. Again, you jack off when it lets you. It is kinda hard at first to keep doing all this. But it becomes your lifestyle and it comes with results. I was overweight eating like a pig and now i am leaner with more muscle. I was jerking off all the time and it made me tired during work. But coin toss decisions fixed all of it, made me more confident everyway. Because i dont just sit and think about what to do... There is something that decides all of it instead of me.
2020-05-31 12:49
#92
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
idk man, just seems to be a lot of baiters and it seems a bit like a copy pasta. I will try to do the coin toss for some frivolous decisions
2020-05-31 12:51
#99
 | 
Turkey tastemycobra 
Yeah i know it kinda sounded like the typical motivational shit all around the internet xd... I cant say this will make all your dreams come true, but i believe it will make you a happier person because when you transfer decisionmaking to coin toss, you worry less about things... In anyways, you gotta push yourself a little to change something, dont expect some magic to happen. But it is worth the try if you want to just be happier.
2020-05-31 12:58
#100
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
maybe you are right I honestly don't know I am so uncertain of myself
2020-05-31 12:59
#103
 | 
Turkey tastemycobra 
Well try the coin toss... if it heads you go for it :D
2020-05-31 13:00
#71
 | 
Asia sosad_today 
tldr
2020-05-31 12:33
#98
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
*tlcr
2020-05-31 12:56
I know the feeling of seeing how other people just don't get it. Or even worse, people that are so sure they are right and never explore all the possible variables. Also depending on personality, talking about daily, average stuff (how things are, like gossip, celebrities) is boring as hell. Talking about bigger concepts is fascinating, but not for most people. You say you never feel relaxed? you really never encountered a hobby, a place.. any moment where you felt a good rush? There's usually a pattern if you find it, like for me it's being alone. Totally alone. At home or in the woods, whatever. Also developing skills can be nice, eg. learning how to program new stuff etc. But the more you feel and act superior, people will see it and the gap widens. Just go study at some good school and you will that suddenly the tables turn and you aren't that smart anymore. Imagine solving difficult problems with everything you've got for 2 hours in class, while the dude next to you finished it 1½hours ago and plays games the whole time. When you see it, you know you aren't a genius. Just average like everyone else.
2020-05-31 12:44
#109
 | 
Uzbekistan zMo_z 
if you're not happy with your father, just grow up and move out.
2020-05-31 13:10
#112
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
yeah I guess I should just use a time machine right, and finance university on my own too.
2020-05-31 13:12
Stopped reading at “I am smart (iq ~130)”. Dumb, edgy teen confirmed. Try waiting a few years until you turn 16 and you’ll see how much different the world will be
2020-05-31 13:13
#117
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
if you stopped reading couldn't you stop commenting as well. its already been drilled into my head that things change quickly I barely remember starting this school year and its already over. And my life changes more or less everyday. People have colloquially called me intelligent which is exactly why they point that out, sorry if the HLTV off topic forum thread doesn't properly distinguish intelligence from smarts and that is too unbearable for you.
2020-05-31 13:17
You’re not smart. You’re desperately trying to act smart, but you’re not. That’s probably due to your low self esteem. People that have nothing to be proud of tend to either be super nationalistic or try to act smart. And, all of what you’ve said can be explained by 1 thing: you’re a teen. That’s how it works when you’re a teen. I was a miserable teen, too, but then I grew up. You will grow up as well
2020-05-31 13:20
#133
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
you seem to miserable as you grow up now. You describe other people with nothing but deriding pessimism
2020-05-31 13:26
Oh, I’m more than happy, lad. Don't worry about me. It’s just that I see a younger myself in you. Exactly the same. I even used to spam the same shit on hltv back in the day. You also have teenage maximalism, delusions about appearance and intelligence, depression that sometimes isn't actually depression, but just you looking at things from a negative perspective. I also had trouble socializing. Now I’m a super energetic extravert and I’m as happy as ever. You know what changed? I grew up
2020-05-31 13:33
#137
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I am nothing like you, never been extraverted. My beliefs about my intelligence and appearance are impersonal. Right now I'm hideous without proper hygiene but I was born attractive. I have been diagnosed with depression among other things. Obviously you are projecting your own obviously narcissistic tendencies on to me.
2020-05-31 13:36
Yep, exactly the same lmao
2020-05-31 13:36
#141
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
let me guess your parents treated you poorly too? You talk like a total egotist and literally sound like every case study of a narcissist I have read or heard.
2020-05-31 13:40
After I read this I put on a Kaneki profile picture, changed my steam name to "dead inside." and my favourite group is now d e p r e s s e d . Feel like beating up my girlfriend then crying that I'm not good enough for her now. I'm so sad dude. Why did lil peep have to die 😭😭😭
2020-05-31 13:20
#127
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
who is little peep? go fuck yourself
2020-05-31 13:23
A very good rapper... 😭😭😭
2020-05-31 13:55
Btw you should go out in the protests and let your feelings out against the racist police. I wish I could support #BlackLivesMatter, will you take my place?
2020-05-31 14:12
#153
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
its not even remotely subliminal what you are suggesting get better jokes
2020-05-31 14:14
Won't you feel good being part of a collective movement instead of spending all day on HLTV being miserable?
2020-05-31 14:15
#156
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
honestly the fact that you think something so bland could be distressing is pretty pathetic.
2020-05-31 14:18
I don't know what you're talking about now. Your lack of self-esteem to go to parties and not interacting with friends enough just makes you spiral into a state of more and more depression. Hence why I suggested you should go and do something constructive.
2020-05-31 14:19
#158
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
reading a neurotypical try to upset someone else is very sad hope you get better soon though
2020-05-31 14:27
Had many people show me their self harming etc IRL and through online, talking about suicide, depression, etc. None of them literally called themselves suicide and is a fan of suicide however, therefore I think you're just an attention seeking loser.
2020-05-31 14:29
#162
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
you just keep pivoting lol, typical psychopath brain
2020-05-31 14:33
I'm suggesting you do something constructive and here you are still replying!
2020-05-31 14:51
#176
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I mean honestly I'm starting to question if you really are psychopathic or just really insecure, but often times there is really no difference. At this point I'm just trying to resolve a query
2020-05-31 14:55
Neither, I go out to parties when I can and have kept in touch on facetime with all my friends and am generally a nice respectful person irl as my mates say. What about you?
2020-05-31 14:56
#180
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
Unfortunate that you have to resort to generic lies, I guess its just in your genes.
2020-05-31 14:56
KEK, this is why you actually have no friends :D
2020-05-31 14:58
#182
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
Is it really, seems like a rather shallow distraction if you ask me, especially for someone so clearly anti social
2020-05-31 14:58
They're not even lies, I FT my friends every week since quarantine started. It's funny that I am a less abled person than you physically yet I'm still better socially than you :) By the way I find it ironic someone called suicide is talking to me about being anti-social. I wouldn't be surprised if you're baiting at this point.
2020-05-31 15:01
#184
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I mean what you find ironic is pretty irrelevant, being anti-social has nothing to do with how many friends you have and my name is just a clear reference to the fact that you should sue me. Nice attempt at baiting though
2020-05-31 15:02
retard detector is off the chart here folks, exiting thread now
2020-05-31 15:05
#188
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
whats the matter you stuck the detector too far up your own ass?
2020-05-31 15:05
Go to army
2020-05-31 13:23
#128
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
not a bad choice but I read the requirements and lets just say despite my good physical shape and fitness I am not quite eligible to join the army.
2020-05-31 13:24
Try it regardless, it will build u up, surround u with real friends, good company.
2020-05-31 13:25
#131
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
they would never let me in regardless I'm too neurotic
2020-05-31 13:26
Have you talked to them? There's more to the military than infantry And unless you don't have a diagnosis, they won't care.
2020-05-31 13:28
#134
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
doubtlessly my local high school has some sort of recruitment officers so I will look into it if I can. there is also a reserve station near where i live so I will do more research in person and online
2020-05-31 13:29
Good luck mens)) 💪🏿
2020-05-31 13:31
#139
 | 
Asia loveall 
How old are you ?
2020-05-31 13:37
#142
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
15
2020-05-31 13:40
#144
 | 
United Kingdom macrocephaly 
You wont be missed
2020-05-31 13:41
#145
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
and? how pathetic do you have to be to think that is an unsettling thought?
2020-05-31 13:45
#147
 | 
Asia loveall 
Young teenager then. You should try concentrating more on your studies. Play games etc in free time many people aren't social and that's fine. Keep yourself busy with activities that you don't get time to think about other things. Also change your name and flair to something nice.
2020-05-31 13:55
#149
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I concentrate on my studies I only have two games on my pc. I am always thinking abou t other things its just how my brain is wired, I have always been able to get by with my mind on other things. If I was suicidal I doubt I would be here talking to you right now
2020-05-31 14:01
#150
 | 
Asia loveall 
Teenagers feel weird things because of harmone changes and you'll realise that when you are in early 20s. You'll be grateful to many things such as the problems and sacrifices your parents have made to get you to a good school and raising you. You'll notice the problems actually some people face in their life yet they try very hard to find happiness in small small things. The things you are thinking comes in mind of many people at some point and they will go away slowly as you grow up.
2020-05-31 14:04
#151
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
trust me its not the hormones I was depressed when I was much younger. And the origin of the thoughts is different than how you describe it
2020-05-31 14:05
#146
 | 
Romania Evreu01 
What really worked for me 5 years ago when i was struggling is: learn to be happy by yourself, embrace loneliness, kind of.. Once I was able to be happy on my own I discovered that I could be myself around other people, and that really push the fake people away and pull the people that are like you and have the same ideas and personality. I'm not an expert, this might not be good for you, but I'm only listing what worked for me. And eventually you'll find hapiness around other people and in certain hobbies or passions. Focus on things that don't make you miserable, that being playing video games, or woodworking, or I dunno programming even (if you like hurting yourself occasionally). This is just a faze that eventually will pass like others, the smart thing to do is not focusing every minute of the day on the fact that your miserable and people don't like you. Good times will come, even tho it'll not seem like it. P.S. sorry for the grammar mistakes, i don't do english that good
2020-05-31 13:51
gl to you
2020-05-31 14:16
#163
 | 
Belgium lil_vodka 
You are still young if I were I would hang out with friends, play some video games & study less cuz ur only 15 dude on this age you should use ur free time cuz when ull get a job it wont get any better mens
2020-05-31 14:37
#166
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I barely study at all actually got a fever so bad during second semester that I missed about 30 days of school and still got decent marks any other advice?
2020-05-31 14:40
#169
 | 
Belgium lil_vodka 
just meet up with friends and go somewhere it doesnt matter where, if ur doing something with ur friends u will not be depressed, cuz youll know that uve got people to count on
2020-05-31 14:43
#170
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I don't have people to count on
2020-05-31 14:44
#171
 | 
Belgium lil_vodka 
than u should find them bro
2020-05-31 14:45
#173
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
and?
2020-05-31 14:47
#175
 | 
Belgium lil_vodka 
im telling u go out talk to people idk just communicate with others, if ull get older and u havent got someone to count one besides ur family than i recommand u to travel for example leave the us and explore europe maybe ull like it over here
2020-05-31 14:54
#190
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I don't really like to communicate with others imo anything I can do about that?
2020-05-31 15:07
#191
 | 
Belgium lil_vodka 
find people that also dont like to communicate ull have a goal with them and that matches i guess
2020-05-31 15:12
#192
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
ironically enough that describes most of the people I call friends
2020-05-31 15:12
emos arent attractive so they were lying
2020-05-31 15:03
#189
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
what the fuck is an emo, some kid who dresses up like he can only see in black and white?
2020-05-31 15:06
no its like these people who go to attraction parks just to breathe in the air
2020-05-31 15:36
#197
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
attraction parks seem like a waste of money no matter what you do they endlessly throw more opportunities to incinerate cash at every turn, trucks, passes, food, souvenirs etc
2020-05-31 15:37
yeah emos also go to attraction parks just to look at wood like smh
2020-05-31 15:44
You can check my comment #193, didn't want to re-write it since it applies to you as well as the guy i just replied to.
2020-05-31 15:23
#195
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
What you said is true, its people at the beginning of the high range that feel the greatest inclination towards depression because unlike someone who is a genius their iq's aren't exorbitantly potent but unlike someone who is of average iq they can visualize and perceive distressing thoughts with greater frequency and speed a genius on the other hand likely experiences real life success and general uneasiness is on average a lot lower because other people frequently acknowledge their intellectual skills as being extraordinary, where as people of very low iq don't have the mental age or intelligence to contemplate a greater volume of negative or distressing thoughts which would lead them to chemical imbalances. Additionally people with high level intelligences at the very high range tend to take things easier and be less skittish, they aren't as trifled by their thoughts as others whether that be a cause or result of their efficiency
2020-05-31 15:37
plato.stanford.edu/entries/stoicism/ I think this article about stoicism might help you on some basis overcoming your mental problems. Its more about how you see the things around you than what is actually happen-ed/-ing. I do believe that with a correct approach you can solve any inner problem.
2020-05-31 15:42
#200
 | 
Vietnam Sooaside 
I'm aware of stoicism but I'm rather disinterested any other advice because you seem to display more insight than anyone else who has commented so far
2020-05-31 15:46
Out of curiosity, what IQ test did you take/why was it administered?
2020-06-01 01:48
Gambit Youngsters
1.82
ALTERNATE aTTaX
1.94
sAw
1.45
Nexus
2.74
TYLOO
1.11
Divine Vendetta
6.20
Bet value
Amount of money to be placed
Winning
Odds total ratio
-
Login or register to add your comment to the discussion.