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Essays help? #2
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Turkey ShooGTr 
Hey guys, This is the second post for this subject. ( u guys helped a lot, ty again ) I'm asking for help because I want to improve myself. I will send essays and if u have free time to teach, just do it pls :)
2020-06-03 12:15
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#1
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Turkey ShooGTr 
Let’s Talk About My Change People are a changing and evolving entity. I have changed from my childhood to this time for reasons that are physical, logical, and in many ways different. First of all, the biggest reason for my change is my physical development. My height has grown since I was a child, my face doesn't look childish anymore, and I have changed many different features like this. The reasons for these physical changes are that my bones grow and develop and are also biologically part of my development process like any other human being. My second reason for the change is that my way of thinking is different from what I've learned since childhood. It made me change in terms of different ways. For instance, because I went to school, I learned new information, and first I learned to read and write, and that led me to access the information myself. I met a lot of different people through the school these were my friends and my teachers. Thanks to what my teachers have told me and taught me, my way of thinking has improved and so over time I have become a more sensible person. My experience of building relationships with my friends has led to a lot of developing relationships with others, and also I am able to communicate better with people over time. The third change was in terms of my personality. We're exposed to a lot of things as people get older. The thing is that not everyone else thinks the same thing or agrees with us, and that's happening sometimes even the people closest to us. So talking to people and listening to them made me a more respectful person. I learnt not only respect but also that my own truths were actually not the only truths because everyone had different opinions and this awareness led me to be a more open-minded person. To sum up, a lot of things have changed me, and I'm still changing. In fact, as Herakleitos says, "the only thing that doesn't change is change itself." Everything in life causes us to change, and we just call them by different names.
2020-06-03 12:15
I have a few: Change "my face doesn't look childish anymore" to "my face and body has changed from a child to a young man through puberty" You should also write formal instead of informal (unless your teacher told you otherwise) You should write I am (instead of I'm), We are (instead of We're), Does not (instead of doesn't), I have (instead of I've). Writing more formal will definetely help your essay, unless your given the task to write informal. But overall a decent essay I would say. I have not seen the task you were given, but it seems like a decent essay
2020-06-03 12:41
#13
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Turkey ShooGTr 
Ty so much I will consider them.
2020-06-03 12:44
but how old are you? If you are like 15 I would say it is a decent essay, but if you are over 15 I would say it was average/below average. But it is obviously a lower level in Turkey compared to Norway, but it depends either way how old you are. And it was a very short essay, with little depth. We cannot help you with that, cause we are not you. You have to try to go deeper into your thoughts and life up to this moment, and maybe you can write more in depth
2020-06-03 12:51
#21
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Turkey ShooGTr 
I'm sure I will get better at the end of this year because working really hard for this. As I said the level I am right now is not my fault. Learning English in Turkey is pretty hard. I mean people can not learn it from schools. We usually watch series or play games to learn it.
2020-06-03 13:04
You wrote "also I am" The correct way is: "I am also"
2020-06-03 12:46
#2
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Belgium Ipufobanned 
Writing story about the riots will send you
2020-06-03 12:17
#3
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Turkey ShooGTr 
I don't get it. If u won't help just don't reply pls.
2020-06-03 12:21
reads like something written in a diary by a 12 year old. your thoughts are banal to say the least. no real depth. post it on a gay forum and you will get a boyfriend very quickly. that seems to be what you are searching for. fixed. or?
2020-06-03 12:23
#5
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Turkey ShooGTr 
That's why I am here asking for help.. maybe u can help instead of insulting dude.
2020-06-03 12:25
#8
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Finland 0lter 
Its a shit topic for anyone above age 12 pick a new better one and start from scratch.
2020-06-03 12:28
#11
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Turkey ShooGTr 
I know it's a shit topic bro but I have no chance but writing this s%it.
2020-06-03 12:35
i did help. stop writing like a 12 year old. read some philosophy. start with schopenhauer, kant, nietzsche, and then read some of the french existentialist. "my height has grown since i was a child" - no shit
2020-06-03 12:28
#6
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Denmark ande048b 
Are you saying gay people are shallow and banale?
2020-06-03 12:26
no. why on earth would you say that? are you a xenophobe?
2020-06-03 12:30
#23
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Denmark ande048b 
"(...) your thoughts are banal to say the least. no real depth" You then link those attributes with gay people in the sentence: "post it on a gay forum and you will get a boyfriend very quickly" Which suggest people who are banale and shallow will fit nicely with gay people. From this I inferred that you think gay people are banale and shallow. I think I am justified.
2020-06-03 13:07
correlation doesn't equal causation. go back to school mens
2020-06-03 13:59
I couldn't have said it any better. Also, this is 360 words barely a real essay unless he is actually 12
2020-06-03 12:27
#16
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Turkey ShooGTr 
"I'm asking for help because I want to improve myself." read the post accurately pls.
2020-06-03 12:46
there are far better places to ask for help than hltv forums. go on reddit or somewhere else where people take things far more seriously and will give you good constructive feedback. Here most interactions are just dogshit/time wasting you have had an account for more than 6 months you should know better than this
2020-06-03 13:44
#26
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Turkey ShooGTr 
I do know, but in my first post people helped me a lot and I did learn new things from them. I've met people who are more experienced than me. On the other hand, u r right, hltv isn't the right place. Ty anyway.
2020-06-03 13:52
As Detective Somerset would say, it's easier to beat a child than it is to raise it. He is asking for help and you took this chance to demeaning him to feel better about yourself, this is called "insecurity".
2020-06-03 12:46
i am not demeaning him. do you have reading comprehension?
2020-06-03 12:50
:facepalm:
2020-06-03 12:55
why don't you give him some help instead of being hateful towards others in the comments?
2020-06-03 13:05
"being hateful towards others in the comments." <Laughing in Swiss> I am not helping him because I can't help him. You can't help him either, but I'm not mean to him.
2020-06-03 13:11
except, i did help him. read #9. all you do in these comments are being disrespectful towards OP, taking up valuable space that we, the ones that actually contribute, could have spend discussing his essay.
2020-06-03 14:02
I saw that you really helped him #4 I'm trying to make you understand that you should not say things to others that you don't want people say to you. I don't know if you are insecure or just mean, but I hope you will realize what you are. I won't answer anymore.
2020-06-03 14:11
Hi Hans Simpeder If I wrote a shit essay I would want people to tell me. in order to think, you need to risk offending people. go back to your cave. you are clearly below my intellect. regards ceo of big brains
2020-06-03 14:13
#20
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Turkey ShooGTr 
hltv 'kids' I would say. Idk why people are so mean these days.
2020-06-03 13:00
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