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funniest thing uve read on hltv
ptr | 
Portugal Johnny_Guitar 
this one I read in 2016 but I never forgot about it, I find this phrase so funny. this> The yall mickey mouse ass lookin ass hoe with your bigass clown shoes light up sketchers or some sheit and your goddamn leprosy puffing up your hands too goddam also I remmeber seeing one comment saying that the post was yellow because it was the user's teeth reflecting on the monitor xD whats the funniest thing u ever read on hltv?
2020-07-09 16:34
Topics are hidden when running Sport mode.
i always laugh my ass off when i see potheads defend their drug abuse
2020-07-09 16:36
#21
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Finland R3ALMM
Damn do you need help getting out of 1971?
2020-07-09 17:01
pothead iceape spotted
2020-07-09 17:03
#26
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Finland R3ALMM
Maybe do some workout once in a while fatso.1/3 of you are overweight omegalul. Also how was 1971?
2020-07-09 17:07
just another mad pothead crying about someone calling them out, you're a loser and will will remain a loser, please stop responding to me, i don't associate with losers.
2020-07-09 17:10
drug, fap and betting addict spotted
2020-07-09 17:13
+1, zero iq weed smokers denying their degredation is the best 👌😎
2020-07-09 19:53
#2
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Poland fakinbitch
yellow post british
2020-07-09 16:36
Ok poor boy.
2020-07-09 17:13
#58
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Poland fakinbitch
why is ur post yellow
2020-07-09 17:31
+1 xaxaxaxaxaxa
2020-07-09 17:43
Ok poor boy
2020-07-10 00:04
LOL the funniest thing is the thread about genders, there is always user who identify himself as an Attack Helicopter, its just like OMG BRO thats super fucking funny please repeat that joke over and over again, this is getting funnier everytime LMAO
2020-07-09 16:37
#6
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Brazil Kly(u)
Respect attack helicopters
2020-07-09 16:38
OMG BRO thats super fucking funny please repeat that joke over and over again, this is getting funnier everytime
2020-07-09 16:38
and then he turned himself into a pickle KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
2020-07-09 16:39
respect genders. I identify as Martin Luther King, Jr., original name Michael King, Jr., (born January 15, 1929, Atlanta, Georgia, U.S.—died April 4, 1968, Memphis, Tennessee), Baptist minister and social activist who led the civil rights movement in the United States from the mid-1950s until his death by assassination in 1968. My leadership was fundamental to that movement’s success in ending the legal segregation of African Americans in the South and other parts of the United States. King rose to national prominence as head of the Southern Christian Leadership Conference, which promoted nonviolent tactics, such as the massive March on Washington (1963), to achieve civil rights. I was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in 1964.
2020-07-09 17:15
OMG BRO thats super fucking funny please repeat that joke over and over again, this is getting funnier everytime
2020-07-09 17:46
name checks out u are cringe as fuck. Good luck in your life sapiosexual trans no-binary genderfluid idiot
2020-07-09 17:54
+1
2020-07-09 21:01
#4
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Sweden flippig
cant remember anything specific but once in a while you get a good laugh
2020-07-09 16:37
#5
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China Xi_Jinping
when that guy turned himself into a pickle funniest shit I've ever seen
2020-07-09 16:37
navi fan saying he has a brain
2020-07-09 16:38
0/8
2020-07-09 17:02
#27
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Finland R3ALMM
Flag checks out prokda))
2020-07-09 17:08
Wtf(((
2020-07-09 17:17
2020-07-09 16:40
Kkkkkk cry is free
2020-07-09 16:44
I'm laughing though 🤔
2020-07-09 16:53
My favourite is when the people on this site who are from eastern Europe call other people gay and/or woman for shaving. As if those things are even insults to begin with.
2020-07-09 16:43
gay woman
2020-07-09 17:14
gay woman
2020-07-09 17:16
gay woman
2020-07-09 17:21
gay woman
2020-07-09 17:51
gay woman
2020-07-09 21:02
gay woman
2020-07-10 00:08
simple fans are funny
2020-07-09 16:44
I keep endless screenshots of funny HLTV comments in my folder. I'll upload to imgur and post some of them here.
2020-07-09 16:45
Here you go, have some nice laughs. imgur.com/a/BYxwD0z
2020-07-09 16:51
nice you should make this a youtube series or something
2020-07-09 16:59
I don't know how I would do it.
2020-07-09 17:12
shit mens)) say you could have like text to speech or something
2020-07-09 17:15
LMAO SO GOOD XD
2020-07-09 17:19
Eksdee
2020-07-09 17:35
#78
device | 
Denmark JKTP
I like your hltv a lot
2020-07-09 18:23
Thank you, my friend.
2020-07-09 18:37
#80
device | 
Denmark JKTP
i kinda fluffed it. Was gonna say I like your hltv taste a lot
2020-07-09 18:37
:) I have seen much more funny stuff but I unfortunately didn't take screenshots.
2020-07-09 18:38
#82
device | 
Denmark JKTP
Yeah me too, especially a lot about politicis. Some people dude.
2020-07-09 18:39
I hate politics so much. It only divides people, make them fight each other and create disgrace. Why can't people just unite and fight TOGETHER for a better world for everyone? :( This subject makes me really depressed, not gonna lie here.
2020-07-09 18:42
#92
device | 
Denmark JKTP
Just take like 3 of the seven deadly sins and you have your answer (Greed, Lust and Gluttony). but i mean like it's funny when really stupid people that don't know anything about politicis just get slammed. I remember a guy that said there is no difference between white and black people white privilege is fake. Someone just smacked up the american gdp per capita per race and he died. (30k for black people, 60k for white people)
2020-07-09 18:45
I just wish the world was a good place and life was fair for everybody. :( Fucking politics man.
2020-07-09 18:50
fakeflagger exposed
2020-07-09 21:03
"Exposed" I've never denied being a fakeflagger + I always say I am doing it if someone asks. I don't know what you see as exposed here.
2020-07-09 21:04
ok
2020-07-09 21:05
Here it comes.... once again... the first face is Stewie; hes gonna hit the ground; theres Bolsonaro; OH WHAT!!?!?! THE JUMPING DOUBLE FROM BOLSONARO!!!!!!! WHAT IS UH GOING ON RIGHT NOW! HOW DOES HE DO THIS!?!?!?!? BOLSONARO TO SAVE MIBR WITH THE AWP PLAY, UNTHINKABLE SCENES THERE ON THE B APARTMENTS! THEY NEEDED A HUGE PLAY, BUT THAT WAS SOMETHING IM NEVER GONNA SEE EVER AGAIN!!!
2020-07-09 16:46
#48
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Brazil zzzzzzznt
Kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
2020-07-09 17:19
#16
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Europe BIG_BIGFAN
"big are onliners"
2020-07-09 16:48
There is no absolute top1 , i've seen far too many hilarious comments. Lately what has amused me the most was a Belgian user Vitality fanboy trying to defend the hardcore choke of G2 and Vitality this online season, Belgium is France Jr. and seeing the little kid (you can tell he's young af) trying to defend his papa was cute and funny af.
2020-07-09 16:56
there’s no definite top 1 tbh hltv.org/forums/threads/2287964/discord-.. this ones pretty funny but i’m sure i’ve read funnier posts and didn’t bother copying their links
2020-07-09 17:04
#25
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Finland R3ALMM
People who think s1mple isn't baiting
2020-07-09 17:05
+1 KEKW worse baiter in csgo scene.
2020-07-09 17:11
#74
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Finland R3ALMM
Finally a hltv user with functioning brains
2020-07-09 17:59
honestly nothing i dont even know why i waste my life on this fucking website anymore
2020-07-09 17:12
some brazilian user: if you eat a turkey, you shit a turk?
2020-07-09 17:14
OMG what 😅👌
2020-07-09 17:14
i remember some brazilian user posted this xDD
2020-07-09 17:40
There were many but i only remember one. It was some USA guy making fun of UK. "Wannabe game of thrones" 🤣👌 Also your proposicion is funny as fuck 🤣👌
2020-07-09 17:14
I always laugh my ass off when i see brazilians showing clips where leaf is "cheating" by peeking a corner and shooting a dude
2020-07-09 17:16
Ants are attracted to cum and I can prove it. I sit down at my desk and open my porn folder. I scroll through all the weak nonsense such as hentai and loli until I get to my futa furry toddler nugget porn. I start jerking it and within two minutes I was covered in my own seed. The speed at which I wanked made me incredibly tired so I laid down and went to sleep, hoping to dream of My Little Pony and their tight pussies. I suddenly wake up and am very itchy. I look down in horror to see hundreds of little ants crawling over me, eating the sweet, sweet semen. The feeling of their little feet walking all over me was enough to make me bust again. This time, however, they noticed the source of the sweet nectar. They began forming lines and burrowing themselves into my foreskin. I arched my back and moaned loudly as they nibbled the head of my penis. They began to go into my urethra and make little ant nests in the residue. I was thrashing on my bed because I wanted to nut again but I couldn't. My mom walks in to see this and she screams in horror. As soon as I turn my head to look, I busted the hottest, fattest nut I ever have. An explosion of ants rocket out of my penis and all over the floor. My mom runs out in terror and I begin to finally clean up. Just the thought of what happened sent chills down my spine. I picked the few ants that were still alive and kept them in a jar. I couldn't wait to do it again.
2020-07-09 17:16
#55
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Yugoslavia RIP_MY_NIP
"futa furry toddler nugget porn" I have to bleach my eyes
2020-07-09 17:28
ahahahhhah
2020-07-09 18:49
Yeah i love that one
2020-07-09 20:23
some drunk polak had an interesting conversation with himself: "u did this" "what" "Flying Holocaust" and then on some other thread he came out of nowhere with: "Undercover Holocaust"
2020-07-09 17:17
+the thread had nothing to do with holocaust XD
2020-07-09 17:18
LMAO WHAT
2020-07-10 00:18
#51
JD | 
Poland blankkoo
leaf is cheating
2020-07-09 17:21
NA fans talking about NA scene..
2020-07-09 17:21
UK fans talking about UK scene
2020-07-09 19:44
True. But I don't see any UK person talking about UK scene on HLTV..
2020-07-10 11:31
I saw smooya fans 2 years ago
2020-07-10 12:16
archive.is/NiMSD#r3723492 probably this bye mens(((
2020-07-09 17:32
hahaha i remember seeing this, what a hypocrite.
2020-07-09 17:33
job: dj wage: 32k gf: italian super model
2020-07-09 17:32
+1
2020-07-09 21:05
Device goat Zywoo top1 2020 Biggest jokes ever
2020-07-09 17:34
name checks out,i guess?!
2020-07-09 17:36
1. Dont be moron 2. Just wait 3. Just see
2020-07-09 17:47
Probably "navi is #1 in the world"
2020-07-09 17:44
No scene
2020-07-09 18:43
That doesn't contradict with my comment
2020-07-09 18:44
Envy silently Hope this helps
2020-07-09 18:45
Why would I envy 2nd best team in cis? Makes no sense
2020-07-09 18:47
I wasnt talking about spirit tho
2020-07-09 18:48
I know, we're talking about that new Edward's squad
2020-07-09 18:48
kkk edward squad ez major
2020-07-09 18:50
+1
2020-07-09 18:50
i remember the yellow teeth one kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
2020-07-09 18:11
#83
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Hungary Shiron212
Bettors under #40 - #250 ranked teams matches xaxaxa
2020-07-09 18:39
im going to hang myself in my apartment rogue throw something
2020-07-09 18:40
Not necessarily the funniest, more like the saddest: Some 40 year old dude seeking advice on HLTV, if he should go to Amsterdam and get a prostitute to lose his virginity... Felt bad for him
2020-07-09 18:41
Some people are so lonely that for them these forums are like real friends or even family, that's sad indeed
2020-07-09 18:42
Was positively surprised how supportive people were. Usually HLTV is the biggest shit hole forum ever, but even here people are able to show compassion for people who are really struggling.
2020-07-09 19:25
I feel the same when I see such moments here on hltv because as we know these forums are raw, they arent like facebook or reddit where everyone is nice in a "fake" way, here when a person is nice you can see that they are being true, thats why I love this site, cheers bro ;)
2020-07-09 19:52
You too man, we need to spread more love and bait on hltv.
2020-07-09 20:05
That was a wholesome big chungus moment
2020-07-09 21:11
Get a room already guys.
2020-07-10 11:49
Probably not the funniest it but I remember it Here it comes.... once again... the first face is Stewie; hes gonna hit the ground; theres Bolsonaro; OH WHAT!!?!?! THE JUMPING DOUBLE FROM BOLSONARO!!!!!!! WHAT IS UH GOING ON RIGHT NOW! HOW DOES HE DO THIS!?!?!?!? BOLSONARO TO SAVE MIBR WITH THE AWP PLAY, UNTHINKABLE SCENES THERE ON THE B APARTMENTS! THEY NEEDED A HUGE PLAY, BUT THAT WAS SOMETHING IM NEVER GONNA SEE EVER AGAIN!!!!
2020-07-09 19:54
"#39 USA | Portugal Johnny_Guitar a 10/10 for me isnt only body, I will explain what a 10/10 is for me and you can say if this would be your 10/10 too ok? A 10/10 for would be a blonde girl, 155 to 1,70 height, slim/normal weight, eyes any color, pretty face like any 10/10, an angel's personality like, she would always french kiss me when she saw me and we would make passionate love every night or at least every week, she would tell her family to go fuck themselves if they didnt like me and most important of all, she would listen to my problems and help me with anything, she wouldnt criticize me and would support me in every decision I would take (not talking about ending my life or injecting drugs), she would be like real family to my family, she would always beg me to go with her to the street, bars, shows, etc... This is a perfect 10/10 for me, I know a girl like this is impossible to have but a man can dream :') edit: a girl with a face similar to this one prnt.sc/td1dj3 , and with all the features I described" orignal post: hltv.org/forums/threads/2334269/dating-a..
2020-07-09 21:02
Did i steal anything or...?
2020-07-09 21:04
These random threads like the one guy saying he shit on the street, got scared and ran away.
2020-07-09 21:11
My memory is shit but always love seeing someone ranting about their favorite anime so i intentionally talk shit about that anime just to see them flame. I mean dude I've prolly watched more anime than you and its a cartoon who gives a fuck if anyone likes or dislikes a cartoon
2020-07-09 21:13
I do that shit to GoT fans. Especially before the last season. Itbwas funny as fuck they were responding as if they were fighting for their life lmao
2020-07-10 11:50
halalfriedchicken bestest user
2020-07-10 11:32
#134
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Brunei cyLoL
But this true
2020-07-10 11:33
+1
2020-07-10 11:41
#133
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Brunei cyLoL
Funny thing I read is #freejamppi
2020-07-10 11:33
he shouldnt of cheater
2020-07-10 11:41
#138
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Brunei cyLoL
+1
2020-07-10 11:44
+1
2020-07-10 11:57
#142
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Brunei cyLoL
Jamppi should be ban from internet
2020-07-10 11:58
#135
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Argentina WaSTe_D
i dont remember it exactly, but is the zywoo spam, where they go "Zywoo very very good but this is not normally" or something like that
2020-07-10 11:37
HellRaisers
1.60
Lyngby Vikings
2.28
Ground Zero
2.75
Rooster
1.43
AVANT
1.25
Paradox
3.74
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