You're welcome my friend! The best thing you can do, if you're serious about this scholarship, is write out 10 of these out and read them. Then score them yourself and have some intelligent friend/parents do the same! you'll start to understand why certain speech patterns flow better! It's all about how it reads! And my last thing i'll point out, don't try to force in so many obscure words and adjectives, it adds the opposite affect that you're intending!