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Struggle
shox | 
France KropsDown 
Aight mens)) it's time to come clean about something few will car about, but maybe a few of the polish scammers and russian cheaters that make up 100% of this forum will. Your boy has been clinically depressed for a few years now. Seen most therapists under the sun, and tried different meds to assist in getting my shit together. There have been ups, and many fucking downs, and I've racing towards a new low these past couple weeks. Long story short, CS is one of the only things which today keeps me going. Gives me something to look forwards to and goals to reach that aren't too abstract. I know how pathetic it sounds but knowing I've been helpful to my premade, and the collective cheer of when a dumb strat goes right gets my serotonin flowing like nothing else. Are there any other strugglers out there who've found something special in the game? Perhaps the lads which pushed past the unhealthy relationship to CS and properly dealt with their problems? Anyone's welcome lol, we're all fucking bored anyways. TL;DR: sad shit clicks heads to feel happy and is asking for insight/advice/shared experience
2020-11-24 08:12
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#1
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Germany c0mpetition
Mens just keep play till u become happy menss
2020-11-24 08:14
1 reply
I wish broski, maybe it'll go away on it's own ;')
2020-11-24 08:56
When i get home from a long stressful day, nothing better to squad up with the boys and play a chill game of cs
2020-11-24 08:17
1 reply
Words of high wisdom man
2020-11-24 08:56
go outside and do something healthy and useful instead of wasting your lifetime playing some shitty dead game
2020-11-24 08:17
5 replies
imagine going outside lol
2020-11-24 08:19
Stay mad and dont forget to do your push ups today
2020-11-24 08:20
#17
Virus | 
China Wuhan
the graphics outside are very realistic but the gameplay sucks
2020-11-24 08:46
I fucking wish man, and I swear I'm trying
2020-11-24 08:55
1 reply
going outside without purpose is useless, you need to have a goal. maybe get something to eat or (imo) get a dog.
2020-11-24 08:57
Easy to say but try to find goals in real life not in computer games.
2020-11-24 08:19
1 reply
I know man, and have been doing my best to improve. Hitting the gym, eating better, improving my sleep schedule are things I struggle through daily. But I do them. hopefully it will all pay off soon ;)
2020-11-24 08:55
#7
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Germany FLyX1337
What is your skill level? + Why are you up so early?
2020-11-24 08:27
1 reply
I don't live in france; and I have 700 hours was MGE last time I held a rank. Don't really play MM. usually community PUGS and Faceit (rank 4)
2020-11-24 08:44
#8
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Romania own420
i struggle in online school coz i have no motivation and get bad grades
2020-11-24 08:29
8 replies
bro I literary play CS and watch Youtube during it , online school is the best thing to happen in 2020
2020-11-24 08:31
7 replies
#11
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France Poloqua
sadly you aren't in college 😪👌
2020-11-24 08:34
5 replies
im in my last year of highschool now
2020-11-24 08:36
4 replies
i can certainly relate, but overall while it's been more fun, grades have suffered for it.
2020-11-24 08:52
3 replies
I honestly dont care about grades at all . i only care about 2 subjects , the rest i just try my minimum effort so I can take the exams even with a low grade . Will do my best to succeed in my own way and later laugh in the face of this kids who lost their life getting 10s in everything
2020-11-24 09:08
2 replies
based
2020-11-24 09:09
#46
device | 
Denmark JKTP
Some jobs have different requirement, i have to get an average that's very high if i want to study what i want to study Not that i enjoy school
2020-11-24 14:58
#18
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Romania own420
well same but i get 2's in some tests and i dont wanna repeat the year
2020-11-24 08:46
we can play mm together men))) its always more fun with fellow mens))
2020-11-24 08:32
2 replies
that means a lot to me man, what's your tag?
2020-11-24 08:45
1 reply
discord tag?, ive sent u that
2020-11-24 08:48
#13
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Korea XigNw0w
I used to have depression for years but luckily got over it and couldn't be happier that I survived that struggle. Once you really see your family and friends love and care about you and are there for you no matter what, that's the first step.
2020-11-24 08:38
7 replies
I know man, that's the other thing which has allowed me to cling to life. The pain and suffering it would cause those that hold me is something I can't just accept. thank you for advice brother, to each our own struggle, but not alone :)
2020-11-24 08:54
Same thing for me. Depressed for years even though I had lots of friends and partied all of the time. Tried meds which were terrible. They just made me feel nothing. Quit taking those and it eventually just worked itself out.
2020-11-24 09:24
5 replies
#30
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Korea XigNw0w
I didn't take meds as I heard they only make things worse and I didn't want to take medication anyways. I don't think partying made things easier it was just way to escape reality for a brief moment and the crash landing was horrible.
2020-11-24 09:36
2 replies
unless they're paired with effective treatment, they can become a source of dependency
2020-11-24 10:04
Meds are worse in their own way. Sure you don't feel sad anymore but you also don't feel happy either. You have no lows but you also have no highs. It was an all around terrible feeling. And yeah partying doesn't help .
2020-11-24 10:10
these are the kinds of responses I was looking to get. I'm sorry you also had to face your own demons alone; despite being surrounded by people who should in principle be all you need. It's incredibly tough to rationalize why and how you feel this way despite living a "normal life", with "normal people". Yet you still feel like shit. I'm glad you where able to fight your way out man, hopefully I can do the same as well. Stay strong mens))
2020-11-24 09:41
1 reply
Don't get me wrong I still have the occasional bad day once in a while. You just have to remember that everything changes and even if it doesn't feel like it now things will eventually sort themselves out.
2020-11-24 10:11
Read a book called - the courage to be disliked - it’s a great psychology book and can help you shape yourself
2020-11-24 09:26
3 replies
thanks man, is there an online pdf somewhere?
2020-11-24 10:22
2 replies
Probably somewhere but - when you invest into something (aka spend money on an item) you are more likely to try get value out of it rather than a free pdf - do yourself a favour and buy it on amazon - if you don’t like it I’ll send you the money for it on PayPal :)
2020-11-24 10:33
1 reply
you're right man, I'll look into that 100%
2020-11-24 12:07
Got into korean dramas/variety shows, now i feel like i dont have enough time to be depressed.
2020-11-24 09:44
1 reply
Is it like daytime tv, or is it more like a bizarre comedy?
2020-11-24 09:51
+1
2020-11-24 10:13
1 reply
hbb
2020-11-24 10:24
Any game is good to play if it helps you during a long depression. Often enough I hear it's the other way around with cs, that it assists in making them feel worse. But I am glad that's not the case for you :) I've been depressed for 8 years myself, and sure gaming was a sort of outlet during that time. These days I wouldn't say any game helps me on a bad day, except Playne, which is meditation help in the form of a game. Hope you get better!
2020-11-24 10:28
1 reply
thanks man, your comments and insight mean a lot to me. We're together in this fucking struggle
2020-11-24 14:53
#42
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Russia VelsVivard
I can only wish you well and to be back on the track. I personally can't see how games help the depressed, I'd thought they only make it worse and it's the case with me but anyway. You should find a purpose in life.
2020-11-24 10:37
just join pokecord discord server and talk with people there, community really nice and makes everyone happy
2020-11-24 10:44
you will regret doing anything crazy, just breathe, and endure, aim for getting something, like a good pc, or straight teeth, or muscles, or just browse through hltv twitter and watch twitch like myself and thousands of others being lazy during this quarantine
2020-11-25 18:36
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