university with 0 motivation
basically this but also other parts of life are the best ever so idk really
when i lost my mm rank and once i got it back it was master guardian 1
Getting panick and anxiety attacks everyday and wanting to kill my self.
Good times 👍
I thought about missing an important math exam I hadn't learned for by injuring myself once. After 10s I realized how dumb that was and thought I could fake an injury and after another 30s I thought fuck it, learned 1 subject on a 30min bus drive and freestyled the rest of the exam and managed to barely pass.
Problem is I still procrastinate sometimes when I have something important coming up, but always seem to manage it just barely.
coL losing a 11-4 lead on overpass vs NIP in pro league
getting addicted to bad things such as porn and struggling with friends and what my purpose was, I found a girl who I love with all my heart and she helped me get out of my hole I found myself in
every day is the new lowest point in my life
selling Ethereum when it hit ~1400 -_-
and how did i manage to climb back? Entirely I haven't, but bought more Ethereum at the discount last month when it dropped once again to around 1450-1500
losing 10k in 2 weeks which i make from 60$ in 2 months
When I was in the 7th grade and had mid grades and was mid at everything else. Realized that, started putting effort into things and life became a lot better.
end of 2019 to start of 2021 OCD (germaphobia)
brother came into room 1 day and sat on my bed to do something with wifi then i wonder how do i wash bed again and i realize whatever
lost fiancee + best mate (ran off together) and job, 6 months later no savings and drug addiction
I'd say right now tbh. My life has been fairly easy so far. I've had basically no mental issues so far and everything has been going smooth. However, this corona pandemic is really starting to affect me personally. I basically have had no social interaction for the past year. Also, due to the pandemic I was forced to break off my minor in Mexico, which made me so unmotivated, to the point where I will probably have to quit university right now and I have no idea what to do with my life if I have to quit...
When i lost 500 elo in 2 weeks
Lung collapse, reanimation, half a year of recovery after that
Besides being a grown ass man commenting and daily reading teen posts on a almost 20 yo site bringing news about stuff I am way too old to care about, it was back in my teens realising my gf was pregnant and was going to go through with it. Getting drunk alone and going places you should not be isn't something you should be proud of. Hell, nothing I could do about it and a few months later I found my future wife and got some additional kids after seeing most of the world :)
did a internship based on university recommendation. basically i only can choose from university list and then after i join there's so much sketchy stuff, facility remind me of russian internet cafe, we used our laptop and in that place, there are just intern people and it's only six people. we develop some project and there are so many problem like very bad system, the supervisor couldn't handle us and didn't do anything. also some of my teammates isn't very good so the schedule getting messed up. it's just so bad and if i quit, i will wait for one year to do internship again. after i finish internship and graduated, it's very hard to find a job because my internship experience is weird and bad, and also covid stuff. luckily, this year i just got a job and i'm very happy with that
Losing a whole bunch from betting. So yeah, right now actually is the lowest i can get i think
I have seen a few people say the same, but uni with no motivation right now. With everything being online, I don't even get out much either. I haven't been moving much since I am on the computer most of the day for school and hobbies so my body has been hurting. I have had a lot of pain both mentally and physically. Only hope left really is to turn things around during summer to try and find some passion again. Hope everyone else on this thread, if they are in a dark place, can find their way out.
im pretty young, so i don't think there has been a low point on my life yet
Bad case of back pain fucking up further my depression (diagnosed)
Rolled my car while drunk and went to jail in 2015
In late summer of 2019, I moved in with my grandparents to take care of them.or so been kinda tough, I watched my Nana pass away and I saw her a day before and everything was fine and then I don’t know what happened. Then a month later, I watched my dog pass away on my birthday, so that wasn’t a fun bday lol but she passed away unexpectedly as well. And then as things start to seem or get somewhat better, my granddad went into the hospital because he fell and couldn’t move his legs and I couldn’t pick him up so I called 911 and he died 15 days later, the last time I saw him was as he was being loaded into the ambulance and I was told everything was going to be fine, it would only be a few days. Seems like nothing gets better, only worse. At least my grandparents are in a better place now, they were married for 62 years before she passed so I couldn’t imagine how my granddad felt without her around.
Right now actually. Lost my job then my stepdad died while we were on bad terms , my dog died 2 weeks later from a seizure in my arms and then this past week my girlfriend of 4 years told me she doesn't want the same things as me and she's going off to travel for 2 years
Got sexually assaulted during my nurse formation (im a male dont dm me)
I was in a shitty mindset i tried to breakup with my gf but didn't even manage that as she convinced me otherwise, my cat died and my grandpa died from cancer, all that in 15 days.
Couldn't get out of bed, couldn't face my friends or my school buddies, started doing drugs. Couldn't talk to my parents either, worst of all i stopped playing cs.
i started small projects and promised to myself i would finish everything i planned on doing (that part was really difficult but really was essential) and idk how or when, but i got out of it.
Funny and sad story: my turning point was when i randomly found the 'stop it, get some help' meme at 2 am was i was about to smoke weed. Next morning i booked an appointment with a psychologist. Never touched that shit again and never felt so alive since
So to start, I should mention that my parents are kind of awful people. Both of them used and dealt loads and loads of illicit substances, like the hardest stuff, and I'm pretty sure one of them murdered someone and got away with it on sheer luck, and they were both abusive as hell in their own way to me and my four younger siblings. One day, when I was 16ish, my parents found out that I was dating someone who was the same sex as me, and they beat the ever living hell outta me and threw me out of the house. I remember it being like near freezing temps that day and I only had a sweater. I kinda vowed to myself never to return, but I didn't know what to do from there. I started by just getting far away. I walked/hitchhiked to the next city over from me and spent the night in a motel near where my SO lived and basically vowed to live life on my own terms. I haven't ever seen or heard from either of them since that night and I've been having a good time in life. As far as I know, they never filed a missing persons report and spent a little over a month searching for me on their own before giving up. I still feel bad for abandoning my siblings there but supposedly after that my mother at the least tried to straighten up and they are living better than they were.
TL;DR - I had abusive drug abusing parents, after a bad night I left to live my own life and have been having a great time. Supposedly it straightened up at least one of them.
thanks for sharring all your stories, very interesting to see how everyone struggles with different things.
dont hesitate to share yours
i was homeless for 4 months (summer months though) in Berlin, I slept at the park near Jannowitzbrucke (behind the Chinese embassy) and collected cans and bottles for recycling, made around 5 euros per day which lasted enough for food. i don't want to share the reason for why i left home but yeah it was pretty rough, i had plans when i left Sweden but they went down the drain so that's the lowest i've ever gotten
more specifically, there was a moment about 3 months into this when i went to the store and the cashier didn't want to take the coins directly from my hand, she asked me to put them on the counter because, i assume, i smelled and looked like shit so that moment was the lowest point
getting robbed in my apartment and covid depression cuz I can lose my job and kinda lonely
still in it :((
I was around 12 years of age, got kicked out of my home. I remember I showed up to school after like a week or two, teachers were wondering what happened to me and they tried to give me some sort of therapy stuff, I just said I didn’t need help. I ain’t crazy.
Edit: Getting kicked out wasn’t the only issue, my dad who was never around decided to show up to our home and my mom kicked all of us out after like 5 hours of nonstop arguing. My mom forced my dad to take responsibility of me and my brothers. We were just walking around in the nighttime of New York City, wondering where we were going to sleep. On top of all that, I felt horrible because of some things at school, and I felt disgusted at myself.
Did nothin the first two years after school, taking some drugs und make debts because dont paying my rent for month till the bailiff was coming. But then i go back to my family and excuse for all and they helped me out. Thats where is was 19yo.
I was on medication that gave me suicidal thoughts, for the longest time I didnt tell anyone because the medication was helping my condition, I finally got the courage to tell my family what was going on and even after stopping these thoughts plagued me for months... therapy helped somewhat and also i got a caring gf :)
being in debt while having 0 motivation to study all in the middle of a break up... I feel like the best way, atleast for me, is having walks in quiet places, listening to music or just talking to yourself about how you can get through it and that you still have a long life ahead of you and should take it easy.
i had a depression for two years when i was 17. together with my friend were selling books to get money for buying beer in a low quality pub. i sold all witcher books which were a childhood reminder. I lost all hope and lived in pain only for my family. i hated them because they didn't let me die. in this history nothing specjal has happened what cured me. everything what i have now was just a hard work, difficult decisions and many mistakes. I succeeded because I had strong family support and a correspondingly strong will. rest in peace for the people that have not as much luck. Now i want to read witcher again.
I don't really think I had any low point in life, obviously I had better and worse times, but I never really had much issues, life rocks.
Idk, I'm 14, besides being the no-life playing vidya all day long guy, I think losing my Navaja knife on betting like half a year ago
Planning to move to a new country then lockdown coming, so I end up alone in my new flat in a new country with nobody at all.
Probably the only time I genuinely felt, if it weren't for friends and family over Whatsapp, I would be dead... Reached a low I didn't know I could reach
It was last November, my parents got a divorce and my girlfriend of 3 months at the time broke up with me and got with one of my friends :)
When i was a kid idk how old exactly but under 10 for sure, i wanted to kill myself, i tied some string around my neck went into the bushes, not exactly a forest but there were trees so let's call it a bush, it was covered in leaves, anyways while sitting in the apple tree, chewing an apple, I didn't go through with it because i had calmed down, then i went home while hiding the string around my neck, my mother was working at her garden on the flowers, idk how she didn't notice me putting my shirt up to my neck but yeah, now that I think about it the suicide would have failed, because I would have pulled myself up with my hands on the branch, I think I had made sure i was high enough not too reach the ground with my legs though, it would have been painful and It would have left scars, if I would have jumped maybe it would have broke neck but I don't remember how high I was, I don't remeber the details, but it would have been painful either way, I didn't tie a noose, it was tied really bad pretty sure, it was a beautiful summer day in a Lithuanian village too. This seems like a dream now so idk how low I felt and I was a kid heavily emotional, in terms of when I actually remember how I felt it was not so long ago, I just went into a store alone, stole alcohol(because underage), got really drunk alone in the city, then i kicked some cars so police took me into this place, not a police station but a place for drunks to sleep in, it was just one room and I was sleeping with the homeless and it stank too, I was drunk enough not to care though.
Back when i did not know aboit hltv, so got out of it by making an HLTV acc
i lost my parents pretty young and i was raised by grandma and once i was 16 i went totally bat shit cray. every weekend drugs, party until i had liver cirrhosis with 19, it was kind of a good time but in the end it was the lowest point of my life, cuz i put all the anger all the sadness all the worries in distractions be it drugs, girls and being a dickhead teenager brawling randomy with ppl.
this also why i have this name cuz it reminds me of my past.
Literally my whole 20's. It all started by going to university after highschool, pretty much random because I didn't know what I wanted to do and I didn't find a job. I fell in love with my best (female) friend I knew for +10 years, but I never told her while I know there was a point where she felt the same. Lost completely contact to her for no particular reason, also some of my closest friends during that time. Now 6 years later she is married to an asshole and just got her first child a month ago I saw on Instagram.
I lost interest in studying and stopped going to university / taking courses but was still a
'student'. My back pain is horrible (jobbed too long as a barkeeper), I was afraid getting out of the apartment and I don't know why, but I fear my mailbox because I'm afraid they kick me out of university. I smoked weed on daily basis and drank a lot, especially on weekends. I saw everyone around me stepping up in life, getting married, earning money, start a family and everyone in Unisversity is much younger than me and it's still hard to go to classes and finish the exams. Still hate myself for it, but I cannot change it.
Somehow I feel Corona as a blessing, since I don't have to go out too much and I can avoid going to university, it's much easier online without going there to me. I live together with the love of my life for 4 years now and everything started to get better, don't know what would be if I didn't have her.
I feel like I have dozens of lowest points in my life, but many of them made me who I am today.
A lot of issues with bullying and being a nerd from 7th grade on. Skipped school a lot. In 10th grade I missed 170 days of school and I didn't have an official excuse for 90% of them. When I was 17 I had to go to a trial and was forced into a psychiatry. After that everything went uphill. Not really because of psychiatic help, but because when I went back to school I met a lot of cool people that made school much more enjoyable and I regained a lot of self confidence.
There's a meta study about happiness that's been going on for something like 80 years and the study found that the number 1 reason people are happy is because of their social surroundings. So I always try to be understanding, tolerating and cool with the people I meet.
School with 0 motivation (rn)
Nearly failed middle school and was quite depressed. Had mental issues that still continue to this day.
i have no friends i cry everyday
I finished highschool, in 2017, then i tried uni becouse i didnt know what to do and it was expected of me but i had 0 motivation and i left. Then i spent all my time locked up in my room playing videogames and watching youtube and netflix, maybe going out 1 in every 2 weekends, untill last year when the pandemic hit, i spent half a year litterally from bed to pc to dinner with just me and my dad wich i hated and who also was depressed from being all day locked up and alone, to pc to bed. When things calmed down a little i went to my moms house where i didnt have a pc and was left alone with my thoughts. The night before going back to my dads i completely lost control of my thoughts, it felt like i was just a guest in my brain watching things happen, i got super scared, i went to my mom and i started ciyng like ive never cried before, in the next two days i had 3 panic attacks and spent almost all day crying. I had thoght about suicide before but this time was different, this time it was for real, like doing it right now.
That was the lowest point in my life, after that i got a therapist and he has helped me alot but the trauma still affects me. All my life everything came easy to me, i thought i was special, i thought this things couldnt happen to me, now i feel frail, lost a lot of confidence and everything scares me.
IF YOU FEEL LIKE YOU ARE AT A LOW POINT BUT YOU CAN TAKE IT. TRY TO GET OUT, DONT TEST YOUR LUCK, DO SOMETHING BEFORE YOU ARE PAST THE POINT OF NO RETURN.
Also Thanks for asking :).
(serious) i think i once dove like 2.5 meters into the ocean at sea level
so a truthful answer would be -2.5meter
Every point in my life has been the lowest one.
im 20 so im pretty certain that i havent hit the absolute bottom yet.
however, lowest point in my life was about a year ago, tried to kms and it was quite a severe attempt, dont wanna post why though since it will take too long to write.
went to a psychologist and now im doing a bit better
Me struggling with depression for a while in high school due to a mix of bullying and domestic problems (constant screaming at home between parents, occasionally physical violence), and then finally opening up to my crackhead mother who said she wouldn't care if I killed myself and that I probably wouldn't be smart enough to do it correctly anyways.
edited with a little bit more context
dont know didnt had any low points so much, but one of my hobbies made my money go away fast but its not about that but it added up, so I guess wasnt exactly lowest point that hit me after, but it felt like it, when i was betting small amounts like 5eu literally on anything that moves, for fun and for trying to improve and become pro gambler, long story short i got atacked by my parents a lot who think im complete loser because i bet and lose money.. thing is i wasnt even trying to win so much it was just to prepare myself mostly for bigger amounts. But i got atacked so much it was crazy i was pretty much getting beaten by hand from my parents at night if they think i was betting lol scary times :D sad part i actually found some luck in gambling right around those times so distractions stopped me from winning some extra money, i won cash but i could have won more, so when i saw i could have gotten more cash i lost motivation to do anything with my life even my hobbies gambling included, Some depressive fcks can really ruin your life
heck, the lowest point in my life is rn... I'm a 15 (almost 16) year old, whose only hobbies are playing games and watching anime. I am also overweight, I have only like 1 or 2 good friends with who I can go outside but I rarely do, I am very bad at socializing, especially with people I don't know, and especially with girls. I also eat like 80% unhealthy stuff. Until now I at least had a good thing in my life, and that was the fact that I was really smart at school.
NOW I got into the best high school in my city and I can barely keep up with the subjects, but also I am too lazy to put any effort into studying.
I sometimes think about ending it all but I don't think I'll ever get to the point where THAT will become something that I seriously think about.
I don't even know what to do anymore, everything I try doing seems pointless and I can't bring myself to start a sport as a hobby or something....
not sure if the lowest but last year i was down bad fr. gonna summer-abuse to get back up again :100:
lost my gf, last semester of graduation (loads of work), broke my foot playing bball.. cried for 10 days and promised myself no one would make a fool of me again
traveled to another country to meet a girl just for it to come crashing down after a year of long-distance relationship. in retrospect, worst part about it was wasting money on plane tickets though.
other than that, i'm basically a neet at 25. im currently in uni but i've fallen behind and questioning whether i'll make it throught this semester. no motivation and no future plans
Well I don't have much of life but IDK
Highest was when Dosia found success in Hellraisers
(I genuinely don't know tho)
when I was like 23 I lost my best friend and lost my girlfriend for a """friend""", I guess was the most depressed I got, but my plan was: I was using some drugs and drinking a lot at the time, I just stopped with everything, focused on working/studying and in 6 months I was 100% ready for business again, I have faith in god and always try to be motivated/positive, so instead of crying and complaining I got quiet and worked alone on myself, my tip is: dont invest on dangerous distractions like partying, drugs, alcohol... cuz that the perfect situation for them to try to fuck you, and use your brain, its normal for humans to get depressed etc, just use your brain and try to think logical, and think activities to invest your time into it, and as soon as you realize you are healthy again! the more u wish to get worse and worse, the more you enjoy the sadness the more deep you will go, so stop with bullshit and work on yourself.
if anyone needs we are here to talk my hltv friends
Creating a my anime list; never did LOL
Had my best friend die of cancer when I was 13, occupied myself with other things to cope which never really worked, always felt lonely and worthless after that, reached its peek when I had a psychotic breakdown when I was around 16.
Started having talks w my friends helped a lot, was always hesitant but felt really good to just talk for a couple hours, also started working out and meeting new people when I got to university.
Just always cherish what you have and if you're down mentally, just realize that better days are ahead and to take care of yourself mens.
idk sticking with a toxic ""friend""group for too long then having to deal with the mental shit caused by it
Basically right now for me. I haven't had any tragic event like a lot of the people here, but I guess I still don't like where I'm at right now. I'm in uni studying mech. engineering, and I honestly hate studying. I'm making decent grades right now but I don't really fully understand what the fuck I'm reading or watching. The thing motivating me is that eng. majors have really useful and marketable skills in the real world and they make good money. But man do I fucking hate studying.
I obviously haven't really been able to meet anyone at uni because of corona, so I don't talk to anyone aside from like 2 friends I keep in touch and my family. I haven't had a real outdoor event with any friends in over a year. I want to continue running and work out but I haven't been able to find the motivation to do so. Video games are the only time I ever experience a slight joy in my life right now. I'm honestly glad I'm lucky enough to have a good family because I hate being alone.
Nothing drastic; no depression, hateful parents, breakups, etc. Just tired of studying and having little interaction with the outside world.
My parents forced me into high school (they forced me into gymnasium I wanted to go into IT hi-school), I played CS most of the time because that's something that I liked, found a team with whom I've won a couple of ESL Challenger tournaments just for my parents to break us up with taking my pc. From then I was constantly fighting with them because of school (I was a straight A student thru elementary but because I started gymnasium I had A in informatics and math but others were mixes of As, Bs and Cs) but they would never take the blame on themselves it was always "You're in puberty so you think everyone is against you". So then I figured out there was no point in fightning. I was grounded but I would sneak my PC out to play CS. Over a month being grounded I found 2 really good friends via FaceIT with whom I talk to almost everyday and they just helped me to go thru all of it. My suggestion: Just fuck it man. Forget about all of your problems and focus on the good stuff. Do what you like and don't let anyone tell you if its good or bad. Take some time for yourself and come back stronger.
Realest thread I've ever seen in Hltv
probably now. behind 175 pages (albeit not everything has to be done) in math, several assignments, one cad model, my grades went from averageing A-B to C-E, i dont have any energy during the days, swapped classes to a new 1 year younger one where i dont really feel i fit in, i know maybe 2 people enough to call them friends in that class, losing connection with my old friends and im not sure how to keep that contact up, especially during corona where you cant really do anything. pandemic got me down, everyone else down, which now my relationship with my mother and father are bad, and im just so tired and everything is uncertain.
but its on the upswing i feel like. i try to take one thing at a time starting with my parents and school. later during summer i hope to be rid of all needs and i can finally start building relations.
Honestly? 2 weeks ago (still kind of in it)
I've been struggling with my gender transition journey. Getting told no I can't help by 50+ medical professionals in the space of 2 weeks caused me to get really depressed and still struggling with it.
Yesterdays pain didn't kill me so that becomes today's strength to me mens))
I guess ever since I've been a high schooler. My motivation should have been super high since I was always a hard worker in elementary and middle school. I got good grades, went to states for a spelling bee, and I felt that I was overall a smart guy. Then I hit high school my motivation just plunged. I always procrastinating, I hate the way I look and act, I also think I have ego problems? I'm working hard to resolve these issues but its not easy :(
probably rn, my bestfriend killed himself few days before my bday(burried him on my bday)
gf dumped me a week before because I wasnt stable and putting in the effort
no motivation to wake up
but i started therapy so
iv drug use addiction and the resulting homelessness and my property was often stolen and debts of thousands of euros. almost died lol. ofc there was a lot of mental problems too depression, anxiety on whats about to happen next for me. hard times... i lost some friends but my best friend stayed on my side atleast after that all shit i brought to his life too. now i just play videogames in my studio apartment (+weed). and also im only 19 now.
I am at my low for a long time now, didnt recover yet and I am not sure if I can ever recover, but I am hoping to
Mine had to be after spending my whole life never getting out of what I put into jobs and deciding to put all of my remaining effort into joining the marine corps, I spent a year training on my own based off the USMC PFT to make sure I was fit by the time I shipped to basic but due to a car wreck I had when I was 18 my recruiter found out I had asthma because when I my mom told the hospital I have asthma so it was on my medical record and, as such, I wasn't even able to make it to MEPS. Since then I can barely muster the energy to put anything more than the bare minimum required effort to get by and have settled into life as a 28 year old degenerate who lives with his parents and pretty much just watches anime, plays games and gets drunk all the time.
I've had a relatively easy life but I guess when my school said they would expel me if I got suspended a third time
so there are about 3
first attempt, gf (now ex) helped me through it and convinced me not to go through with it
second attempt, close friend after that same gf played and cheated on consoled me after finding out what was going on
third attempt, was very close to successful, essentially everything had accumulated overtime, only really had this one close friend with whom I had a massive falling out with and she was basically the girl I was in love with and lost, but were now just reduced to mutual friends to the point I didn't tell her ahead of time. Lockdown made it so that I was forced with living around the same people destroying my mental health on a daily basis
so how did I manage to climb back up? I moved to college, that same close friend I became mutuals with started to miss me and appreciated me only after I was gone. The same people I was forced to be around 24/7 in lockdown treated me completely different when I had to see them 3 months into the semester and had made 180's on their personalities since they only appreciated my presence once I left and basically didn't speak to them the entire time. I'm someone who doesn't speak up and grew up in a setting where any of my opinions lead to me facing punishment so it translated to relationships as well. So biggest moral of the story? When you're the type of person who puts others before yourself and allow others to make critique of you like a brick wall while you never say a word in return but reassure their health, I find that being alone for a bit and letting them self reflect once you're gone changes their mood a lot.
I had a phase with like 14-15 where I realized I waste all my youth playing video games and being alone and then I was very very sad, then I started drinking alcohol and smoking weed with 16 and my life got better
my old boss quit due to age and my work went from amazing to annoying...
he was a great guy.
Since the beginning of hs, nothing special except that I am not studying at all and It's really boring also I don't feel like I am completely honest to some of my friends, partialy because I feel like we are not that connected to begin with soo possibly we won't even meet each other that much after hs ends, luckily It's only few months away soo I'll see how that's gonna end up.
About hs first I changed the school because I was too lazy in first that required a good studying habits which I never really had nor I cared about and after that at the beginning of 2nd year I got into 2nd school that almost feels like a complete opposite to first, downsides? I think most ppl here are dumbasses and that apart from my studying habits I belong way more to ppl from my 1st class, It doesn't help that I feel like I am not on the same page with my parents/sister but after some time you kinda get over it because you know time will do It's own thing anyway soo It's not like I'll have to look at them forever.
TLDR: Changing high-schools and time spent in them (soo last 3 and a half years), questionable friendships rn and always questionable relationship with parents, the end is getting near soo it's probably gg, unless It can get worse which I believe is not true.
Homeless, living in a car with severe mental health issues and addicted to pornography. Got out of it by making a shitload of money in a way that's morally and legally questionable.
When i was 14 i had depression, anxiety, daily panic attacks the whole bunch, was thinking about killing myself and nearly did. I cut my arms up a lot back then so i have a couple knife scars. It was mostly over family shit, not getting any personal space and pressure from school.
Right now reading this post, then closing the tab
right now even tho we opened(my family) a successful coffee shop the past year has been totally depressing. No motivation, cant travel, arguing everyday for the dumbest things possible with my closest. Thankfully me and my gf are going to work this summer in Germany(not for money, instead for traveling and gaining some new experiences ) i hope things return back to normal by the end of the year.
At one point in my life I was working 12 hours a day , especially because I had to quit my highschool and be homeschooled (not because of COVID, I had to leave my highschool and take classes in a student program that you can take when you're homeschooled) but I had to re-do all my classes from the beginning with different things to study starting in February. And the homeschool class ended in may so I basically did one year of class in around 4 months with 10 assignments for 10 classes (so a 100 tests and essays with chapters to learn). Mental breakdowns every week :(.
EDIT: It got better when I got homeschooled next year, but this time I started the class as everyone else did so it was superrr easy
No big deal, I was depressed at the middle school and my classmates were not helping at all, instead, some of them were picking on me saying I'm emotionless.
Now those fuckers have a shit tier life while I'm a STEM student at a top-tier Turkish college(İTÜ).
Almost killed myself at age of 17
when gambling websites closed i lost 600$ in skins i wanted to kms
I think around late 2018 early 2019. I was very anhedonic, would get tired easily, sleep a long time, and not find anything to do for much entertainment. I made my new HLTV account around the end of that time and HLTV just gave me something to do which might have helped in reducing that
Got phrased around by my studies a bit, sleeping 1-2 hours a day trying to keep up and maintain high marks. Basically this super vicious cycle where my health got worse and worse until I wasn't really like present at all for anything. Got pretty cynical, lost a lot of motivation, become pretty apathetic towards school, and then my grades dropped. I kind of just stopped working but my sleep stayed fucked. Kept this for a few months until my grades had dropped hard, but when I tried working again I had no ability to focus.
Realised that I need something to change. Picked my ass up and tried to relearn how to work. Sounds weird but even now I still can't discipline myself to work for as long as I used to, I think the shit really fucked me up. Past year or so been fixing my sleeping, get 7-8 hours daily with some expectations when I need to cram. Go walking everyday, read everyday, hit the heavy bag a bit, eat 3 balanced meals, spend time with family, cold shower, no junk food, brush teeth twice a day. Some of these things are minor, but it's about taking back control and building my discipline back. Always make sure I have a good mentality as well.
Some good days, some bad days. But with more sleep and as more time passes I can work longer and longer hours. My grades will never be as good as they were before, but they're still good enough so i have a chance at my dream university. So shit was not horrible, but relatively bad for me, but I am fixing it :) Life is pretty good right now.
I'd say since covid i'm living the lowest point of my life.
I passed a master degree in 2019, went 3 months in Thailand for volunteering, came back in March 2020, boom Covid, I didn't find any job in my field since then, now I'm considering to become a tennis teacher cause I'm fed up with profit/risks blabla
During an interview with a consulting firm, the manager told me that "the current situation is way harder for the employer than for the candidate", I hated having to agree with that mofo in order to get a job.... I didn't get lmao
Can't talk about it sadly.