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Snail
rain | 
Europe hejmonika 
You live forever, you feel no suffering and your life is bliss, but there is an immortal and indestructible snail following you and if it touches you, your life becomes misery and you die a terrific death. How do you beat the snail?
2021-10-24 02:16
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tell the snail that if he touches me then he's gay
2021-10-24 02:17
9 replies
What if he is gay.
2021-10-24 02:18
7 replies
Then I will give him a little kiss
2021-10-24 02:42
6 replies
#20
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Norway jatakk
☝️ Haram!
2021-10-24 02:58
5 replies
And I will also give Allah a little kiss
2021-10-24 03:01
4 replies
#25
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Norway jatakk
good, thats halal bro 😎👍
2021-10-24 03:02
#30
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Germany fanok
Allah is already busy with 9-year-olds, just like my local priest.
2021-10-24 12:14
2 replies
Oh nice i didnt know allah was german
2021-10-24 17:31
that went from edgy to based in the span of 5 words
2021-10-24 17:31
#59
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Portugal Lost_fly
fyi snails are hermaphrodite, they have male and female genitalia
2021-10-24 21:13
#3
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Turkey BigTimeCEO
put a glass over it
2021-10-24 02:18
3 replies
The snail will move with the glass. If i touch you wearing gloves i still touched you. If the snail touches you wearing glass, it still touches you.
2021-10-24 02:21
2 replies
#43
ropz | 
Estonia Infera
You cannot just invent problems for every solution.
2021-10-24 18:23
Wtf that's cheating!
2021-10-24 18:46
ok
2021-10-24 02:22
ok, and?
2021-10-24 02:23
if he is just following me, it means it will never catch me.
2021-10-24 02:24
If you live forever you are immortal… right? So then nothing could kill you, but the snail can? Makes no sense… I don’t see a way you could avoid it
2021-10-24 02:24
12 replies
#14
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Belgium Woke!
its 1 single snail that is also immortal and its only goal is to reach you. So you could do anything you wanted or however long and when you are finished with life you can go back to the snail
2021-10-24 02:52
5 replies
He says it’s following you… so to make you distressed, but it also says your life is bliss
2021-10-24 02:54
4 replies
#18
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Belgium Woke!
its easy to avoid though
2021-10-24 02:55
3 replies
It would naturally always be scary dont you think! Defeats the point of that great life you get in the first place…
2021-10-24 02:56
2 replies
#21
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Belgium Woke!
not really just drive a few hundred kilometers and itll take it years to reach you. its a snail
2021-10-24 02:58
1 reply
it will be in the back of your mind man
2021-10-24 17:30
Come on You’re immortal to one condition, that’s quite easy to understand.
2021-10-24 02:54
5 replies
#16 too
2021-10-24 02:55
4 replies
This is a legit paradox but not the one I mentioned.
2021-10-24 12:13
3 replies
kinda the same
2021-10-24 17:29
2 replies
Absolutely not. Being immortal to one condition isn't a paradox, it's a rule. Of course it's fictional, but that doesn't change anything. It's just a mind game.
2021-10-24 17:39
1 reply
well the term is just wrong then
2021-10-24 21:10
#9
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United Kingdom HonestUKGuy
Salt
2021-10-24 02:26
2021-10-24 02:27
3 replies
what does that mean?
2021-10-24 21:10
2 replies
#55
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Korea Shazil
you wouldn't get it
2021-10-24 21:12
1 reply
i guess not :/
2021-10-24 21:12
It's not detailed much but from the perspective I see there is an option here. This only works If the snail is still the snail and it moves really slow and doesn't have any kind of superpowers but still remains Immortal, and movable. I can ask engineers to send this mf to the fucking space and in next thousands of years I will chill.
2021-10-24 02:28
I will touch snail
2021-10-24 02:49
always be on the move. and time how fast the snail moves so that u can sleep a few hours a day
2021-10-24 02:59
#23
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Sweden sn1pie
I will tell him stop or you are not a snail
2021-10-24 03:00
#26
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Other Zafander
ill tell him that his father is back
2021-10-24 03:04
#27
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Ukraine Masak0vske
snail TRAIL!!!!!! ahahaha.
2021-10-24 03:06
#28
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Argentina cheapdeed
get someone to capture and secure the snail
2021-10-24 03:21
2 replies
#45
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Germany fanok
"Hey dad, could you help me with something?" "Sure son, what is it?" "There's this snail, he's--? Oh look he just went around the corner, you should be able to see him" "Yup son that is indeed a snail" "Please catch it for me, it's invincible and indestructible, and it want's to kill me" "Sure son! No problemo"
2021-10-24 18:40
1 reply
#52
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Argentina cheapdeed
i mean you can just get someone to put it on a safe since it can only kill ME if i do contact
2021-10-24 19:08
#31
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Germany fanok
I'm going to bait the snail into a spaceship and then pay NASA to send it a couple of light-years away, no way is he coming back. (You said he's immortal and indestructible, but he's still a normal snail so he won't be able to reach the velocity required to escape the planet that NASA will send him to.
2021-10-24 12:16
1 reply
+1, top tier idea, by the time he is back I would just have accepted my death
2021-10-24 17:36
#32
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Poland Astoner55
I would just move from NA to Europe from time to time, have fun being 100 years underwater mr snail)))
2021-10-24 12:18
Good question
2021-10-24 17:32
put it in a box? its a fucking snail dude
2021-10-24 17:36
1 reply
+1 just bait him into a shit box. when he enters, close it and ure done
2021-10-24 17:38
I would go to HLTV and make a stupid thread about it and whenever someone comes up with a solution, I add more to the story so their solution doesnt work anymore. 0/10
2021-10-24 18:19
Lock him up in a metal box and keep it in a locked locker in my house. It will never escape
2021-10-24 18:26
Just ask someone to freeze it
2021-10-24 18:44
#47
JW | 
Sweden EntonXD
live on the salt flats so that he has a very bad time
2021-10-24 18:45
make it follow me and have it move onto a sphere (the net of the sphere) and close it on it forever making a hamster ball and even if it bumps me it can never make my life hell also in addition i will move to europe so the snails fucked even tho he has a hamster ball cuz he will be floating for centuries.
2021-10-24 18:48
#50
Ro1f | 
Sweden infl8
I would pick him up with a glass - put the lid on - fly to russia - eat hamburger with boombl4 - take a taxi to Kola Superdeep Borehole - look the snail in the eye and throw him down the hole - live forever
2021-10-24 18:53
i will pour super extra incredibly fast lightning strong glue over the snail and it will be in the same position forever and ever.Then i will seal the snail within a 1 ton box vacuum/no air within/. :) Then i will ship it to SpaceX rocket and launch it to space with trajectory going out of the milky way system youtu.be/IYOa7tWlRSs?t=5 to the moooooon and beyoond
2021-10-24 19:05
#56
OK | 
Peru TheJuan
I would touch the snail immediately and die
2021-10-24 21:12
#58
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Korea Shazil
but it in a metal box and drop into the ocean
2021-10-24 21:13
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