Don't be too harsh on yourself bro.
I couldn't say nor understand shit after studying English for 7 years in school, then I forced myself to watch movies in English and to talk to my mates in CS and moved a lot.
We've all been at your level one time, you'll progress as well. In the and, who cares about grammar, if you take it from other perspective, you can be proud of yourself just for you understanding and speaking decently. <3