Cya in 2029
Respectful user
Top user from Spain
Lettuce tier 1 food hltv confirmed
alex should be in top 20 hltv
Plopski and ropz are Spanish (confirmed by liquipedia and cs_summit)
Let me post more than 150 replies per day!!!!!
150 replies counter: 5
You can't have alts in HLTV secured servers
Have a good day mens)))

Este es un sitio internacional, por favor escriba su comentario en español. Los comentarios en otros idiomas serán eliminados.

Bans:
You have been banned from posting on the forums until: 2029-10-24

3 days ip: +1 that always works
1 day: https://m.imgur.com/rHuCrBe
1 day: +4
1 day: xd
3 days: k1to did nothing wrong
1 day: Expected from Swedistan lul (I agree in some points but I don't want to lose the hltv forums)
3 days: +1 I like to say USA is a third world country
1 day: Wtf is that group? What kind of monkey made the seedings?
3 days: According to some users, only iOS users (aka low iq) have this problem because they use different apostrophe
1 day: I could become your good boy maybe...

RE: Ban inquiry
Hello,

you are currently banned for troll 'I could become your good boy maybe...' remarks.

Ultimately, this will lead for your account to end up permanently locked due to its extensive ban history.

Regards
SpainJonathan E.

(Jonathan banned me because he was jealous when he saw that comment)

Creator of forums best seller (after Jonny's rules)
How I met Jonathan E series:
Part 1:
It was 14th December 2019 and I was in Sevilla in a school trip. Dreamhack Open Sevilla was being played those days and I knew Jonathan would be there to watch the tournament. When teachers gave us free time I went to the event to find Jonathan, I had never seen him in real life before, but I knew I would recognize him when saw him.
I had been there for almost two hours and I was about to give up, but then I saw a man that was 35-40 years old. It was the most handsome man I had ever seen, it had to be Jonathan. I approached him and said "Hi Jonathan". He looke surprised, "How do you know my name?" he replied. I told him who I was and that I knew him from hltv and he remembered me because of the poems I had sent him through pm. I asked him if we could meet later after the matches in a restaurant or something and we agreed to meet at 9pm to have dinner and exchange our phone numbers.
Then I returned with my classmates to continue to visit the city (to be continued).

Part 2:
This is part two of the "How I met Jonathan E" series. Part one here https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2275535/how-i-met-jonathan-e-part-1
The time finally came, it was 9pm and I was waiting at the restaurant we had chosen in our whatsapp conversation. I was getting a bit nervous and started fearing he would not come, but he appeared a few minutes later. The restaurant was beautiful, but nothing near the beauty of Jonathan's face. It was really crowded, but I was feeling comfortable and the atmosphere was even a bit romantic. We celebrated Movistar Riders victory over BIG, even though they unfortunatelly couldn't beat north, and everything seemed to go pretty well between us. Before we realised, it was already midnight, which meant it was already my birthday and I was officially an adult. I wanted to make that day special, so we went to buy some drinks, but they told us that it was illegal to sell alcohol there after 10pm. Jonathan told me that he had some wine in his hotel room, and then I realised that I had to be at our hotel (which wasn't the same as Jonathan's) at 0:30 or the teachers were going to start looking for me and I was going to get in trouble. I explained him the situation and I ran to the hotel.
At 1am, when teachers were already asleep and people were drinking in their rooms, I sneaked out of the hotel (going out of the hotel at night was completely forbidden) and I started walking to Jonathan's hotel.
I looked for his room, it was room 404, I knocked the door and Jonathan opened.
(To be continued)

Part 3:
This is part three of the "How I met Jonathan E" series.
Part one here: https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2275535/how-i-met-jonathan-e-part-1
Part two here: https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2276168/how-i-met-jonathan-e-part-2

I saw Jonathan's siluette behind the door, his clothes were really elegant, I couldn't feel more excited. He had a wine bottle in his hand, and he offered me to drink a glass with him. I entered the room and left the door closed, we started to drink a bit, I couldn't stop looking at him. How could someone be so handsome? We kept talking for a while, but I was starting to lose my patience. "Undress me" I said to him. He took a while to react, but then he slowly took my shirt off and started unzipping my pants. I started to get really horny, my dick was getting hard and I couldn't help it. I was afraid he would think it wasn't big enough, but he didn't seem to care. I unzipped his pants and took his dick out of his underwear, I grabbed it and felt how it was slowly getting hard too. I just couldn't resist it, I moved my head closer to it and started licking it, then I put it in my mouth, it was long and thick, as perfect as the rest of his body, I kept sucking it and I got even more horny. "Fuck me" was all that I could say, I layed in his bed and I felt him getting closer, it was my first time and he was an experienced man, I felt his dick getting slowly into me, It felt amazing, I had never experienced something like that before, then I felt the whole thing inside me, moving in and out of my body. All I wanted was to keep watching his beautiful face, but the pleasure didn't let me keep my eyes open. I felt goosebumps all over my body, a sensation I will never forget. I came over my stomach, but I told him to keep going and he continued for some more minutes, and then he pulled it out. "I want to taste your cum so badly" I told him, and I put it in my mouth again, I sucked it for a while and I felt a warm and sweet liquid. It had to be nectar of the gods, it tasted even better than lettuce. I swallowed all of it and I was feeling a bit tired, I fell asleep between Jonathan's strong arms without even realising.
(To be continued)
Part 4:
https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2294288/how-i-met-jonathan-e-part-4

This is part 4 of the "How I met Jonathan E" series. (Sorry for writing it so late)
Part one here: https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2275535/how-i-met-jonathan-e-part-1
Part two here: https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2276168/how-i-met-jonathan-e-part-2
Par three here (18+):
https://www.hltv.org/forums/threads/2276841/18-how-i-met-jonathan-e-part-3

I woke up, Jonathan was still asleep, so I tried not to make noise. I checked my phone. It was 5:30 , I hadn't slept much, but that was better for me. I had to be at my hotel early, it was our last day in Sevilla and I had to prepare my bag.

We would go to the airport just after having lunch, which meant I would not be able to see Jonathan again. I wanted to say goodbye, but I didn't want to wake him up so I just left a note in a table telling him how happy I had been during my time with him, and that I wished we could meet again one day.

I got dressed and I quietly started leaving the room. I looked at Jonathan one last time with mixed feelings and I finally closed the door.

I went to my hotel. I didn't want to believe that it could have been my last day with him. I prepared everything and I went down at 7:00 to have breakfast with the others. Nobody had realised that I had been out all night, I wasn't in trouble, but I couldn't stop thinking about Jonathan. Did he had the same feelings for me that I had for him? Had I been just a fun adventure during his travel or would he want to see me again?

Time passed really quickly, we had to leave the hotel. Everyone started gathering and making groups, but I felt I'd rather to be alone. I tried to text Jonathan, but he didn't reply. We had gone to bed really late, so maybe he was still sleeping.

Time went by as I was walking through the beautiful streets of Sevilla, and I decided to find a restaurant to eat something before leaving the city.

When I was finished, I reunited with the others in the meeting point. Everybody got in the bus and again I decided to sit alone. We reached the airport and passed the control, now we just had to wait until we got into the flight. I kept thinking about Jonathan, he hadn't replied yet. He had to be sleeping. I had seen the passion in his eyes. It had been a short time, but I knew he wouldn't forget it, it was impossible.

We finally got into the plane, I was sitting next to a stranger and a girl from other class I had never really talked to. I put my phone in flight mode, so there was no point in waiting for a reply anymore. We finally started flying to Mallorca, I tried to distract myself in the plane playing Geometry Dash, but I eventually started thinking about Jonathan again. Maybe I had been blinded by my love and I had misunderstood the signs, but it seemed pretty clear to me that he had to love me too. I knew that as soon as we arrived to the airport and I had internet connection again I would get a reply.

We finally arrived. I instantly turned off flight mode, but nothing happened. My parents picked me up at the airport and brought me home. I could not stop checking my phone. Nothing. But I wouldn't give up so easily.
(To be continued)