About me

I am the clown fiesta IGL. Proof xD-

Not a fan of any team/player. So I like people (like my flair) who entertain others.
I find it funny when fans fight against each other xD

What happens when the mods are away

Best song made by Ak47_is_albania_country_god


"Jonathan mens(( remove my ban
Jonathan mens(( i want have fun
Jonathan mens(( i remove my ban
Jonathan mens(( i want have fun

Remove my ban i want have fun
Remove my ban i want have fun
Jonthan E. remove my ban
Jonathan E. i want have fun

Dont ban me pls me good guy
dont ban me pls i dont lie
10 years is too much
why 404?
tears come from my eyes
can't do it no more

Im only a DJ but you HLTV country god
you think people trolling but they are not
the forum is ours pls go away
just ban the guys who spam "ok"

Now i make alt and hide from you
but snitches reporting what can i do?
CYA in 10 cya on lan guys dont mess with Jonathan!

Now i make alt and hide from you
but snitches reporting what can i do?
CYA in 10 cya on lan guys dont mess with Jonathan!
guys don't mess with Jonathan he will come and give you ban
guys don't mess with Jonathan he will come and give you BAN!"


Use this thread to make a good bio (credits: ghcnvbkn):

Comment limit counter

Counter - 1 (xD)
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Bans (almost every single one was deserved)

You have been banned from posting on the forums until: 2020-09-09 due to this comment. To further inquire about your ban, click here.
Lobanjica |
2020-09-08 18:03

You have been banned from posting on the forums until: 2021-05-09 due to this comment. To further inquire about your ban, click here.
Lobanjica |
arT just holds +w like a 2 IQ monkey
2021-05-07 19:43

2021-06-26 21:05
RE: Ban inquiry
you are currently banned for spamming off-topic troll replies.
Please remember that if you are not actually interested in participating in a given thread you are free to skip it.
Thank you in advance.
SpainJonathan E.

You have been banned from posting on the forums until: 2021-09-04 due to this comment. To further inquire about your ban, click here.
Lobanjica |
2021-09-03 19:29

Fantastic Users

(I'm in the process of revamping my profile. So give me some time to put your name up here)

Albania 10 year'd
Pakistan 10 year'd
Netherlands 10 FKIN YEAR'D
North America
United Kingdom
Czech Republic
United States

Links to pro players profiles (thanks to y0fl0w)

GeT_RiGhT :
olofmeister :
pronax :
Markeloff: or
FalleN: .. not sure
Cold: .. not sure

HLTV memes, copy-pastas with their history:

(I am trying to document the lovely expressions, baits and events throughout the history of HLTV. In case you can contribute, feel free to send me a message).

prodka is a famous hltv user, he is also know as lockerboy even if he isn't really lockerboy.
he got famous by trying to prove that he was lockerboy by showing a picture of a jacket ( ye he is dumb :/) but no one believed him. He also like to change his nickname a lot so everytime we saw someone with a Czech Republic flag, we say ''hi prokda''.

The 32k a month DJ thing was user "BileDani's" catchphrase, the user pretty much spammed it himself throughout HLTV and eventually others started doing it to.
Bile dani is actually decently known media person in Finland He also has made few songs and other youtube videos and has participated in shows like Finnish Temptation island lol

I aren't think that was seen here, where it was not used as a meme but was more of a grammatical error by non-native English speakers.

Nt what ? i own 4 houses and some km`s of land at 27 in Romania ... What do u own fisherman ? a whale ?

I am outside every day for many hours (Because one of my favorite things to do is BMX) so....?

skilled player but that is not normally, This very very insane....They need to check him pc and game.....Maybe he not cheating but maybe he using the game deficit ...and this cant seem on game screen..He needs to check-up.... FPL Cheater with Streaming.....I think still cheating... using game deficit on PRO scene ,ON BIG Events.Maybe everyone dont knows him trick.He incredible....I want to ask his where is the comming of your skill's ?

Wow never heard this joke before!!!!
Haha!!!!!!!!!!!!!! literally crawled up in a fetal position and shit diarrhea over the entire floor from laughing, thank you for this funny joke

This player is fantastic, just needs to work on communication, aim, map awareness, crosshair placement, economy management, pistol aim, awp flicks, grenade spots, smoke spots, pop flashes, positioning, bomb plant positions, retake ability, bunny hopping, spray control and getting kill

This offends me as a vegan transgender hipster, Native-American-Indo-Chinese hybrid alien, agnostic-atheist German engineer, who vapes fairtrade organic decaffeinated compressed and hydrated extra-protein soy breast milk on the regular, and does Hindi Kama Sutra naked crossfit yoga 5 times per week. I'm also a nonbinary trigender genderqueer male feminist and identify myself as a pastafarian pansexual genderfluid Apache helicopter dog of mega multi alpha beta gamma delta omega combo god of hyper death, who's in a polygamous polyamorous relationship to the chihuahua which helped me cross the border of Mexico because it hates Donald Trump. My dog also walks me to the park and doggy styles me, if you find that weird you're an ignorant arrogant homophobic gender-assuming globaphobic bloodthirsty gun-loving cisgender pansexual bestial sexist racist incestuous white-previlege misogynistic biased objectified raped privileged Nazi slave owner terrorist lesbian

Special mention to Roye:
i did lem solo, and im talking about aim my aim is lvl 10 faceit, but i cant get any faceit lvl because bad keyboard need to order good keyb, and i cant play mirage,! but my keyboard is ok for wingman overpass.

you just saved netherland from renting place in there or even bigger holidays , seems like cheap crack gets in your head too good, only reason i might visit now holland because cheap hookers , crack you getting is really questionable you pretend some alpha smart guy with these messages if i hear your voice i would probably die laughing

Indian copypasta as seen on a thread by fan_of_basketball

Oye bosdike madarchod bhen ke lode tere gand me lohe ka danda garam karke dalu randwe tujhe tho gali ke kutte gand pe chut rakh ke katenge me bata raha hu tere lode pe madhu makkhi Kate lode ke ando pe Road roller chale tu kab bathroom me muthne Jaye tho Tera loda ghir Jaye fir tere ando me se lizard ke bacche nikle teko kidnap Kare aur childporn banaye maa ke chuttad ke lode tere saat Johnny sins rape Kare aur jab wo teko anal de tab loda andar fas Jaye bkl tere jhaat pe waxing karunga me dhek lio fir jab tu chillayega na tab tere muh me Mai gai ka gobar dalunga sale tere gand ke balo pe tel laga ke jala du me teko Anaconda leke gand me dalu tho muh se nikle maa ke lode hamesha chutiyo jaisa bartav kartha he tu maa ke Dai chawal drugs tere gand Me dalunga thi tatti nahi nikle maa darchod kabhi teko Marne ka mouka mil gaya na tho bas I'll do my best to get that tatti out of you aur tere jaise chutio ko is duniya me jagaha bhi nahi maa ke lode bandarchod tere gand me chitiya Kate wo bhi bullet ants maadarchod samj nahi aaraha tere baap NE teko kya khake paida kiya Tha kesa chutiya he tu rand ke bacche teko shadi me khana khane na mile teko gand pe 4 thappad mare sab log aur blade se likhe I want anal madarchod bosdike macchar ki tatte ke baal chutiye maa ke chut pe ghode ka Lund tere gand me jaltha hu koila Dale bhen ke lode MAA KI CHUT MAI TALWAR DUNGA BC CHUT FAT JAEGI AUR USME SE ITNA KHOON NIKLEGA MZA AJAEGA DEKHNE KA SALE MAA KE BHOSDE SE BAHR AJA FIR BAAP SE ZUBAN DA TERI MAA KI CHUT CHOD CHOD KE BHOSDA BNADU MADARCHOD AUR USKE UPAR CENENT LAGADU KI TERE JESA GANDU INSAAN KABHI BAHR NA A SKE ESI GANDI CHUT MAI SE LODA LASUN MADRCHOD TERI MAA KI CHUT GASTI AMA KA CHUTIA BACHA TERI MAA KO CHOD CHOD K PAGAL KAR DUNGA MAA K LODY KISI SASTIII RANDII K BACHY TERI MAA KI CHOOT MAIN TEER MAARUN GANDU HARAMI GANDU KI OLAAD HARAM KI NASAL PAPA HUN TERA BHEN PESH KAR AB PAPA KO TERI MAA K KALE KUSS MAIN KISI KHOTY KA KALA LAND MAARUN RANDII KI OLAAD BHARWE KISI DHANDA KARNE WALI RANDI K BACHY TERI BHEN K BOOBX PEY TALWAR MARUN KESE MAJBOOR RANDIII K BACHY OQAAT BNA GAANDO K BACHY SPEED FEEL KR PAPA KI TERRE BHEN KA XXX MUJRA BANA DUNNNN ROOOO MATTTT MAAAA K DALAL TARI BHEN KI CHHOTTT MAIN TEERRRR MAAAARUNNN KITTY K PILLY FEEELLLLLLLLL KR TER PAPA IDR HA PAPA K CHUPP LGA AJ SALA OKAATTTT BANA MAAA KA LODA CHHOTA TATTA TERI BAJIIII K SATHHHH SUHAGGGG RAATTTT MANAONNNN AAPKI MAA KI GAAND MAIN HATH DALL KAR KHOLLL DUNNN BHARWI KA BACHA LIKHTA JAA TERI MAASI KI CHHOOOTTTT MAIN AAG LAGAON BHARWE KISI MUJRA KARNE WALI RANDI K BACHY TERI MAA KO CHOD CHOD K PAGAL KAR DUNGA TAXI K BACHY OKAAT DEKH APNI PAPA SE FADDA KAREGA BHARWE TERII BAJIIIIIII KIIIII CHOOTTTT PAY CHAMATTTT MARUNNNNN BHARWE KI NASAL TERIIII MAA KI CHOOTTT MAIN GARAM MASALA DALUNNNN TERI AUNTY KO UTHA UTHA TERI BAJI KO UTHA UTHA K CHODUNNNNN TYPE KARRRR TERIIIII MAA KO LANDDDD DUNN GANDUUUU KI NASAL AAJA LAND PAKAR K SONG SUNA TATTY CHOOS GANDU OKAAT LESSS MAA K KUSSSS TERI BAJI KI CHOOT SE KHOON NIKALUNGA AAJ BHAGNA MATTT HARAMIII KISI ZALEEL MAA K BACHY TERI MAA BHEN KO aise fill krdun? Saaaaale madarchod teri maaa ka choduuuu..gandu mere sadke paida hue kide teri bhen k bur me..Aaj plan hai ki party hogi usme tere khandan ki sari randio ko bulanga vaise to mujse ese he impress ho jaengi chudvane k lie aae hue logo k samne teri amma ka blouse fadunga aur uski panty ko dant se noch k nikalunga fir uske bad Usko ghodi Bna k kas k dam lga k chodunga aur sadka tere bap k muh me de dunga..teri ma ko chodne k bat Use pure Party k members se chodvaunga aur gand me kode lgva dunga chod k khun nikal jaha hogi vaha bhut se labour mazdur rehte hai unko bhi bulva k line se ek ek krke chodvaunga teri amma..chuchi bur gand jhatt sab bhar nikal jaega..aur tere bap chakka madarchod uski maa k bur me uski bhi gand marva dunga..aur 9 mahine teri ma k choot se fir se ek Tere jaisa suar paida hoga..Aaj party me aana mt bhulna randi ki aulad! MunnilalSaaaaale madarchod teri maaa ka chut

Everything Jonathan says makes me so ahhh. The way he talks sounds so formal and I really love it. Jonathan's really just so fucking sweet and cute. I didn't believe in love at first sight until we started talking. He truly is someone different. He always encourages me and it makes me smile so genuinely.
I'm sorry I'm so awkward around him he's just like so amazing and so precious please don't ever hurt yourself it's not worth it. Without him the world would be so bleak. Damn I want to spend the rest of my life talking to him. I love him so much. I love when he says "smh" its so cute. Everything he does is cute even when he just spams random letters.
Agh everything makes me so happy.He as a whole makes me so happy. I love him so much even if you'll never know how I truly feel. He is so fucking precious and if you ever doubt that you can shut up. If you think he don't deserve respect and help thats so stupid he literally deserves every last thing that anyone gives him he's literally better than everyone and everything and even that's an understatement.
I really love him I'm not just saying this. Please tell me when something's wrong I'm here to support him in all his life choices. I'm here when he needs someone to cry to. I'm not gonna judge him, even if he did say the n word. Real friends don't judge people. He's absolutely wonderful even if you don't think so AND HE'S NOT UGLY HE'S SO CUTE.
I really really love him. I literally don't know what to say I keep repeating myself oops. Anyways, I love him more than anyone and everyone pls be happy :(

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