Western civilization is nearly over. The great flood is coming, only this time the "flood" will wipe the genetic slate clean, and DNA like yours and ours will be swirling around the toilet for one final flush, just as it should. Orwell said, "if you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stomping on a human face - forever." That's pretty close, but instead of a boot it's a tactical DC parkour shoe, and the human face is smiling orgasmically. The face is smiling because we all crave drama and torment and punishment. We crave drama because when our lives are dramatic and miserable, they more closely resemble an episode of Sex and the City or one of those Zach Rogan romantic comedies we like (featuring Russell Brand as Faggot Piece of Crap) and some leg-spreading big-nosed "casual dater" as Lovable Everygirl Who Makes Jokes About Her Period. Anyway moving on (promised this wouldn't become an anti-woman rant, jesus), we're all stars in our own movies and we crave BDSM whippings subconsciously. It's not like we're being actually oppressed--we could literally wake up, collectively decide to change the world, and vote our way to a free and just society... That is so preposterous it sounds like the premise to a feel-good TV movie--"yea, Murray, so then the main characters all get together and they're allowed to vote on what they want"... "Moshe, that's too hokey, nobody will ever believe that, c'mon get it together, you're thinking just like a goy today..." The problem, fuckface, the reason why we will never effectively use this Super Power, is that we are all deranged retards and we deserve to be slaves. We need to be slaves. We need our mommy/daddy/nanny to hold our hands and tell us to be quiet and suck dick harder. Can you imagine the chaos that would result if everyone thought for themselves? Read the intro chapter of Propaganda by Edward Bernays (Charles called a bunch of cemeteries trying to find that guys gravestone because we had a good video idea but we never could find it). We make the most important decisions the same way we make the (seemingly) least important decisions. We look at ukulele-driven upbeat advertisements, cute logos, rabid news anchors, The New York Times, and our stupid friends, and we choose our leaders the same way we choose toothpaste. Does your toothpaste have sodium lauryl sulfate in it (it does.)? Did you know that's an industrial floor cleaner? Do you ever wonder why your gums are receding and your mouth stinks? You deserve to have all your fuckin teeth fall out, just like you deserve to have your money taken away, to be spied on, to be tagged like some zoo animal, to be welded shut inside a metal coffin and shot into space. Anyway the point here is that the world is ending so you might as well go check out some cool ANTIQUES. The world is on fire and no one smells the smoke, so go find a nice walnut hutch to put books (for display) and things in. Find a nice vase that you like for your girlfriend's apartment, even though she never changes the cat's litter box because she is a leg-spreading casual-dater, make sure the apartment is full of nice things, even though you spend 45-minutes at a time tongue-kissing her hairy ("why do you want me to shave? Are you a pedophile?") slit, she thinks giving head is disgusting and refuses to do it. Don't wash any dishes. Find a wicker chair you like. The most I'll ever make with this $180,000 graphic design degree is $25/hr, do the math on that while I fill my loft with kitschy junk. Also I want nice dinners and a baby. I want a baby and I want us to spend $35 on food/day average. I bought something, isn't this great?